Remus Lupin: Sirius You Did What.

Hmmmm, how about, say, sexist people?

Feminism isn’t about trying to control people’s actions. Could you please clarify what, exactly, you’re referring to?

I've never seen anyone try to control women like a group of feminists

ego: cur terram perdes?

alienigena: quod sunt homines qui putant istos solam linguam brittannici dicere debent.

ego: iustum est. intellego.

me: why are you destroying earth!!!

aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak

me: thats fair i understand

steve rogers: pr disaster | gen | 4k

(someone asked about the full version of this, so here u go)

“Wait,” says Sam, “you had a publicist?”

“For my first five months at S.H.I.E.L.D,” says Steve. “Then she quit. Uh, decisively.”

“Well yeah, she had to keep you in line,” Bucky says with a half-smirk. “How many times did you make that poor lady want to sock you in the face?”

“Lost count,” Steve admits. “I did offer to let her, once. Seemed fair.”

Sam laughs. “I feel like you’re sitting on a story here.”

“There’s no story,” Steve tells him. Sam raises his eyebrows. Bucky’s half-smirk tilts towards a full smirk. “Seriously,” Steve repeats, “no story.”

Interlude: The Story of Steve “Walking PR Nightmare” Rogers, and How For a Short While He Single-Handedly Destroyed the Emotional Health of Eva Laura Ortiz, His Now Ex-Publicist

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A week or so ago, I was feeling nostalgic for my old Pokémon games, so I pulled out my old copy of Pokémon White, reset the game, and played through the main storyline.

Things I've noticed (spoilers for BW and BW2 follow):

Child!me was really bad at Pokémon. I basically just kept whichever Pokémon happened to be the highest level ones I had in my team, and if that meant randomly putting in a wild 'mon with a terrible moveset, so be it. I basically didn't consider type advantages at all. I'm pretty sure I wiped to Elesa like five times or so before I swapped in a ground type and manage to beat her, and the lesson I took from that was "wow, the Pokémon I added was only one level higher than the one I swapped it out for, amazing how much difference that makes!"

The "good guys'" arguments in the game are ... really bad. Like, I agree that they're correct about the empirical fact "is catching/training/battling Pokémon abusive," but there are a number of conversations that essentially go:

Team Plasma: have you considered that you're making Pokémon suffer, and that's bad? "Good" guy: I think it's important to consider different perspectives and let people make up their own mind on whether Pokémon suffering is bad! not everything is black and white!

Subtext I absolutely did not notice when I initially played through: Alder is really bad at his job! The Elite Four more or less tells you that he's abandoning his actual job duties to wander around Unova being sad that one of his Pokémon died several years ago. When N beats him, he randomly gets really upset about it and starts insulting him. No wonder by the sequels he's been replaced.

One thing I'd remembered as not being explicit until the second game was that outside of N, there are plenty of Team Plasma members who actually genuinely want to help Pokémon and were not abusive. I was remembering wrong -- this is pretty explicit in BW too.

jk rowling: okay so these guys have an eagle mascot...i'll call them 'ravenclaw'? sure that's not going to be confusing.

jk rowling: snake house...gotta be 'slytherin'. cos it's like slither in, and that's a thing snakes do. haha, i am a genius

jk rowling: lion house? i can't really do anything with lions...what about 'griffindor'? griffins are cool. doors are cool.

jk rowling: THE BADGER HOUSE IS GONNA BE 'HUFFLEPUFF' IDC WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO WITH A BADGER

Are you okay? Do you need someone to talk to?

and now I’m just mad. no one is answering me. great.

Okay, muggleborn headcannons are adorable. But can we take a moment to appreciate their poor parents?

Desperately trying to find a book about how to raise your kid who is all of a sudden a witch/wizard.

Trying to explain to the neighbors why your kid suddenly has an owl/toad for a pet and spends an excessive amount of time polishing that ancient broom out on the back porch.

Debating if it’s better to try and wash robes in the sink or just risk taking them to the laundromat.

Having to clean out their trunks when they get home from school because Merlin knows what the hell you will find in there.

Trying to keep any younger siblings from telling random strangers on the street that their big brother/sister is a wizard/witch.

Showing up to Diagon Alley for the first time and holy shit what the hell is all of this honey please make a friend with witch/wizard parents so they can tell us what to do.

Galleons? Knuts?

WHY IS YOUR TEXTBOOK TRYING TO ATTACK ME?!

Trying to explain to grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins why they can’t attend visitors day at the child’s new boarding school.

Having to come up with a whole new system of rules to deal with anything magical.

Standing awkwardly outside platform 9 ¾ and waiting for another wizarding family to show them what to do.

Learning that the main wizard sport, which your child is determined to participate in, involves riding around on a thin little stick a hundred or more feet in the air while moving at excessive speeds.

Getting letters from your kid after their first night demanding you come pick them up because there is no wifi and THEY SAID IF WE WENT TO THE FOURTH FLOOR WE WOULD DIE.

Seriously. Muggle Parents of Witches/Wizards are adorable. I just have this picture of them rushing out to Diagon Alley after the representative from whatever school visits them to tell them about their kid and they just buy every book they can get their hands on to figure out what the hell they’re supposed to do now.

ron: god, professor dumbledore's speeches are so boring. more like dumblesnore amirite?

dumbledore: I HEARD THAT, WEASLEY

dumbledore: TEN POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN

malfoy: hey now what the shit?

dumbledore: FUCK YOU MALFOY

This is a remarkably effective tactic for gaining access to someone’s account for any website that uses security questions, to the point that actual hackers will use guessing them as a tactic for gaining access to people’s accounts.

(https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2014/09/03/this-is-how-easy-it-is-to-hack-someones-icloud-with-their-security-questions/)

funny story

when I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game similar to club penguin except it was called Nicktropolis. and if you forgot your password, a security question you could choose was “what is your eye color?” and if you got it right it’d tell you your password. so I would go to popular locations in Nicktropolis and write down random usernames who were also in those areas, and then i would log out and type in the username as if it were my own and see which of these usernames had a security question set to “what is your eye color?” (which was most of them, since it was easy and we were all kids). i would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own account’s. and if it I didn’t want it, i could sell it for money