This Could Be The Snart Of Something Big

i wish there was a way to have an autopsy that didnt kill u. i think it would be so cathartic

I'm exhausted like all the time. I can't drink coffee because it makes my stomach hurt and it makes me sleepy. but not sleepy enough to actually fall asleep. no sleeping medication has ever worked for me and medications that are supposed to make you drowsy as a side effect don't do shit to me

I was up until 5 am writing fanfic last night. I woke up at 9:30 this morning. this is the most rested I've felt in weeks

what the hell am I because I'm clearly not human

screaming into the void got me like aAhhhHhhHhhhHhh 🤪

if I could, I'd kiss the Oxford comma on the lips

when I was a kid, I had this weird fear that one day I would wake up to find that the last few years of my life were a dream and I was like a toddler again

I'm sure you can all imagine how I feel about the idea now

Right click -> save as -> ancient curse

can't sleep. too many thoughts abt all my many plans. what to wear tomorrow. shoes maybe? ugh

yo check this out. Alexa, cure cancer

Alexa-

the greatest manifestation of my hubris is occasionally thinking about attempting an undertale genocide run

and remembering the fight with papyrus is my karmic comeuppance

someday I hope to have a wikipedia page. but I want it to be as inaccurate as those weird sketchy websites that make up shit about youtubers

like "minatorypigs is 4'11, 7lbs, and was kicked out of Harvard Law for academic dishonesty in 2009."