“ I Have Had Like Three People Recently Tell Me That I’m 13 Even Though I’m Turning 20 In August.

“ I have had like three people recently tell me that I’m 13 even though I’m turning 20 in August. The first one was a waitress that gave me clam chowder. The second was a man on an airplane that gave me cranberry juice [rubbing paint roller on face] “ And the third was just now at Home Depot with my mom. And so we went into the line, and I was holding this big thing of plywood, and she was holding this tube, but the didn’t have a tag on it. So she was like, “ Oh I’m gonna go back to the shelf and get one with a tag on it. And he said, “ Oh.” And kinda looked at her like, ‘How are you gonna leave this infant here in line, alone.’ But he let her do it, and he said,”Okay,  I’ll guess I’ll wait to ring you up then.” And I said, “ Nope. I’ve got money.” And he looked at me like,“Wow you have money?” And I was like, “ Yeah.” So he pressed the cash button, and I said, “ No, I have a credit card.” He was like, “ How do you have a credit card? You’re so young! You’re like 13!” [driver seat begins to slowly descend backwards] I was like, “ Yeah. I got a credit card.”[emotionlessly] “ Wow. That’s so amazing that you have a credit card. That’s so crazy cuz you’re so young. Wow. A credit card. Wow.”

[Music playing faintly in background]