I Really Like Looking At Google Image Searches For “firemen Rescuing Cats” Or Something Because You

I literally cant fucking breathe 

Out of Touch

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

at what point in history do you think americans stopped having british accents

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

Inbox me (1) thing you want to know about me.

DO IT PLS

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

Reblog if you would be devastated if you found out one of your followers committed suicide.