Beverly: My gender is lesbian. I have no pronouns. Just use pussy as a substitute for he/she/they etc when you’re talking about me.
____
Stan: I’m not sure what we’re talking about but I completely disagree with Richie.
____
Person: Hey do you have a pencil?
Stan: No but I have depression.
Person:….
Stan: *staring emotionlessly*
Person: So I’m just gonna go??
____
Richie: *tapping his fingers on the table* I don’t think Eddie likes me, guys.
Mike: *slams fist on table and grabs fork* THAT’S IT. IM GONNA SHANK HIM WITH MY FORK.
Richie: *screaming*
____
Richie: *sits on Eddie’s lap and wraps his arms around his neck* You’re short, you’re gay, and you’re fucking adorable. Mine now.
____
Bill: I am the leader of this school, now bow to me, you worthless hoes.
Mike: *tugging on his sleeve* Bitch, sit down.
____
Mike: Those boys are staring at you.
Richie: *still sitting on Eddie’s lap* *turns and waves to the boys with a big ass smile* Is there something in my teeth, heteros?
____
Ben: If someone calls me pretty one more time I’m gonna puke
Young Avengers meets Parks and Rec: Round 2 🔔 🔔
Marvel: Don’t be silly, we love all our superhero teams! The Inhumans, the Avengers, the Uncanny Inhumans, S.H.I.E.L.D., The All-New Inhumans, [looks at smudged writing on hand] The Fanatical Five, the Youth Revengers, The Runningways :)
I wish that Rick became a mentor-like figure for teen superheroes, especially for the Young Avengers and Avengers Academy kids. I know that he’d probably be as useful as paperweight given that he doesn’t have any superpowers, and that idea would probably be ripping off Young Justice (i.e. Snapper Carr), but it could work!
Just imagine him telling them stories about his adventures with the Hulk and ROM, and the whole Kree-Skrull War. Or teaching combat acrobatics like Captain America did when he was around their age and everything related to the superhero community - history, powers, strengths, weaknesses, rogue gallery, trivia facts not found on the Wikipedia page. Or form a support group for teen heroes who are orphaned, neglected, or abused, kinda like what he did briefly with The Loners in The Runaways before Marvel dropped the series.
tl;dr “So much wasted potential” should be Marvel’s new slogan.
I wanted to do something for the friendom on valentine’s day because so many of you are just absolutely superb and lovely!!! soooooooo
whoever reblogs this will receive *drum-roll* a beautifully horrendous ms paint-esque valentine with an equally horrible andi mack pun on it in their inbox on the 14th yaaaaaaay
some little things:
there’s about half of them that might be a bit of an eye-strain due to the painfully loud colors. if you need one that isn’t, please let me know! :)
I have no idea how many of you guys will want one, but I’m fairly positive I won’t have enough for all of them to be individual sksksksksks (if you and another blog get the same one you’re best friends now sorry it’s the rules)
if you could do your best to remember to have your inbox/submissions open on the 14th, that’d help me out a lot!
there might be a bit of a delay depending on my school work so I apologize in advance if yours doesn’t arrive until later that day
and uhhh that’s all! thank you all for being so kind and amazing!
a cursed preview:
if you get this one I’m so sorry agdghds
so this is a thing
a bunch of moms are making letters+audio recordings of affirming, validating letters to queer/trans* people who don’t get that kind of support from their moms
i would say more about it but
im kind of busy in this puddle of tears on the floor so
this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!
appreciate my humor
(sorry for how long this is! i got a little carried away)
-they have the same parents, but richie takes their dad’s name and mike takes their mother’s
-this is because when they were kids they came up with this idea no one would guess they were related if they had different last names
-nancy laughed at them both and told them how ridiculous that was, but it stuck
-they shared a room up until they were seven and got in an argument and richie ended up throwing soda at mike and ruining the duvet of his bed (they had already destroyed a lot of stuff before then. This was the final straw for Mrs. Wheeler)
-mike finds it obnoxious how messy richie is
-their bathroom is half warzone, half last ditch attempts by mike to keep it clean
-they end up having their own “sides” of the counter but richie’s stuff always ends up on mike’s side
-once richie used mike’s toothbrush so mike dunked richie’s toothbrush in the toilet and didn’t tell him
-dustin and lucas sometimes laugh at richie’s jokes and mike hisses “don’t encourage him”
-richie has a habit of flirting with everyone
-this includes will.
-sometimes he makes a dirty joke and winks at will and will blushes
-mike gets annoyed by it, but always tells himself it’s just because he doesn’t want his gross brother hitting on any of his friends
-they have fights over who’s going to have the sleepover this weekend.
-the losers always make sure to include mike though
-just like the party includes richie (if he’s home, a lot of the time he sneaks over to eddies)
-mike never tells their parents that richie’s snuck out, no matter how mad he is, because he knows how horrible eddie’s mom is
-when he was younger, mike had a crush on bill, something he will NEVER admit
-he also had a crush on bev, who was so nice to him and used to offer him the last cookie/soda/bit of chips
-the party is kind of in awe of how cool bev is, and they always try to invite her to join their party
-richie is like “MY FRIENDS NOT URS” and bev finds it really funny
-even though richie and mike get on each other’s nerves, they band together really fast when one of them is picked on.
-richie constantly comes home with black eyes and a bloody nose/lip because people pick on mike and his friends
-mike and eddie help clean him up, both telling him to “sit still idiot”
-when they’re sixteen one time richie comes out of the shower with just sweatpants “hey mike, have you seen my scorpions shirt?”
-will goes bright look and glances down super quickly
-mike notices this and gets kinda angry? Not at will just the general situation
-but richie has been in love with eddie since he was like ten, and they’ve been dating since 8th grade so he only has eyes for his eds
-he notices how bothered mike is by this and just kinda laughs to himself bc he knows they’ll have to sort it out for themselves
-nancy, richie, and mike are a fucking power trio
-nancy takes them out to the city every month or so, less when she heads out to college
-they always visits mike’s “nerd stops” like museums and various comic book stores.
-they also hit up record shops (for richie) and occasionally nancy sneaks them into a grunge show “ONLY IF THEY PROMISE TO BE GOOD AND STAY IN HER SIGHT”
-both of them dread when nancy drags them to a clothing store, whining the whole way, but they have fun messing around with different outfits while nancy shops
-they talk about boys (and girls, the wheelers/toziers are bi icons) over food and whenever someone mentions will, mike gets all blushy. Nancy and Richie share knowing looks
-nancy is definitely the cool, protective sister. If she hears anyone in the higher classes making fun of richie and eddie she’s fucking ON THAT, turns out richie learned it all from her
-richie and mike definitely bond over how sucky their dad is. Insulting him when he isn’t around, teaming up to argue with him when he’s being ridiculous
-they know secrets about each other too, one’s they’d never tell anyone else
-mike knows that richie has nightmares about a family that hurts and ignores him, and it’s his biggest fear to end up alone like he is in his dreams
-richie knows that mike fears no one will need him anymore, and that he’s always struggling to have his voice heard
-richie gets real tired of mike and will sharing looks and then looking away blushing, and skirting around each other. He “accidentally” locks them in a closet, and comes back thirty minutes later.
-they’re kissing
-they basically rip apart when richie opens the door
-”FINALLY YOU FUCKING LOVEBIRDS”
-will is bright red and mike is all stuttery “SHUT UP RICHIE”
-richie in a rare moment tells mike how happy he is for him (after will goes home)
-mike is all smiley and happy
-”he still thinks i’m hotter”
-”BEEP BEEP RICHIE” and a pillow is thrown at him
-richie and mike end up going to different colleges
-both of them joke how happy they are to escape the other, but in truth it’s kind of sad
-the second night of being alone, without mike close by, richie calls mike at like 1 am
-mike picks up immediately
-”did you have a nightmare?”
-richie doesn’t want to admit that he misses him “it’s fucking weird not to hear your annoying voice yammering away”
-mike realizes what’s going on “real quiet now that your shitty music isn’t blasting”
-both of them just chat about how life is going, until they start to fall asleep
-richie is best man at mike’s wedding, and mike is best man at richie’s
-mike gets strippers for richie for his bachelors party
-richie sets up a fucking LARP session
-and richie’s speech makes mike cry (it ends with “i love you, you fucking nerd”)
-when mike and will adopt a daughter, richie and eddie come over to visit and play with the kid a lot
-mike and richie like to pretend to be each other
-the kid is never fooled, she knows who her dad is
“Congrats on getting something right for once, dad!”
That preview of Secret Wars: Secret Love is 100% approved by Erik’s kids and me. (oh um i kinda used their designs from here bc i like mini magnus family stuff)
extra: because i just had to draw the grandkids too??? and omg thinkfast is canon?!
Bill:*takes “Taken by 💞🗝Beverly🗝💞” out of bio*
Stan: