Hi!

nothing beats the happiness and dopamine hit you get by crossing tasks off that one long to do list 🤞🏼

8 february 2025

i’m done with my biology and physics practical exams, they went pretty well.

i’ve been really tired all day so i haven’t had much motivation to get stuff done and i haven’t been able to study for neet or boards due to my practicals.

i did end up doing questions for principles of inheritance and variations (150 questions + pyq) and finished electric fields and charges. i’ll now be doing mcq’s for human health and diseases and microbes in human welfare. i might also finish up electric potential and capacitance for my boards.

i’m going out to study with a friend at a cafe so i hope that gets me out of my slump and helps me be more productive.

i’ve also been on a lot of coffee lately and still get tired really easily, so i might just sleep today and get a good amount of sleep before starting the sleep deprived routine again 🫠

i’m also almost done filling my neet application, i only need to upload my documents but ive been really lazy about it, ill get it to it later.

that’s all for today.

cleaning up.

i don’t know why i’m back. it’s difficult to put all this behind me, it’s too soon to move on from an exam that i dedicated two years of my life to, so quickly- i feel like it isn’t fair to me. i don’t know if ill post but ill stick around, until im ready to leave? i don’t know honestly but i was cleaning up today- two years of my life has been solely this exam. i felt guilty taking breaks, going to sleep before 3 am made me feel like a failure and i compensated for that for the next day. all the breakdowns and self worth questioning- i put up with everything- just for this one dream- to be a doctor, to make my parents proud but here we are, on the floor- two days after the exam, still sobbing. how does anyone get over this? is there any point in taking a drop? they did this for two years, they’ll do it again. i feel so lost and purposeless. i’ve only ever dreamed of my life with this. my imagination never exceeded what happens after the exam. i feel directionless. i don’t know what to do with my time anymore. but i also don’t feel guilty for taking a break. maybe that’s a good thing? i don’t know.

was life ever more than the exam?

removed stuff from my pegboard to make space for sticky notes :(

will remove the other things soon too :(

(it’s almost like stripping a part of my soul away)

3 march 2025

DONE WITH MATH YAYYYYY

okay so the exam actually didn’t go that bad, i did mess up a few mcq’s but it’s okay, i wasn’t expecting the exam to be this easy tho 😭 but yayyy

running on very little sleep so i’m gonna get home and nap and then plan the next three days cus next is physics boards 🫠 i’ve finished studying for physics but i need to revise it and practice numericals hehe

anyways,

have a nice day my loves <333

💌

also hair and makeup looks so pretty when i don’t sleep 🤭🤭🤭 i’m happy yay

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CRAMPS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

the only exercise i’ve done this week is run out of patience 🎀

guys my skin is peeling off like a snake shed 😭 and there’s rashes all over wtf is happening