No I Love Yous

Some moments cut so deep they become woven into who we are. Choosing to close the door on someone who brought so much pain isn’t just a decision; it’s survival. In the quiet spaces of my heart, I still hear the echoes of betrayal, disappointment, and heartbreak. Whenever I think of letting him back in, a wave of loathing rises up, reminding me that stepping back into that pain would mean losing myself all over again.

Let’s be clear: there are people who take and take, leaving nothing but a hollow shell in their wake. He was one of those people. The way he twisted my trust into a weapon against me was nothing short of monstrous. I loathe him, not just for what he did, but for the way he made me feel—small, insignificant, and unworthy of love. He took my vulnerability and used it as a means to manipulate and control, and the sheer audacity of that betrayal is enough to make my blood boil.

The memories haunt me like phantoms in the night. I remember the promises made, the tender words whispered in the dark, and the way they all crumbled like ash in the face of reality. He was a storm that wrecked my peace, and now, the thought of inviting that chaos back into my life makes my stomach churn. I would rather drown in despair than suffer through another chapter of torment that he would bring.

It’s infuriating how someone can waltz in and out of your life, leaving you to pick up the shattered pieces of your heart. I have spent countless nights wrestling with the demons of self-doubt and despair he unleashed upon me. I have fought against the notion that I am somehow responsible for the pain he inflicted. But now, with every ounce of strength within me, I declare that I will not let him back in. I refuse to be a victim of his charm once more, a puppet in his twisted game of manipulation.

The agony of betrayal runs deep, and the scars left behind are reminders of the strength I’ve found within myself. The choice to keep him out is not just about protection; it’s about self-respect. I would rather die than endure the suffering of reliving the torment he caused. The thought of opening that door, of offering him a second chance he does not deserve, fills me with a deep, aching dread.

So, I stand firm. I choose to honor my pain rather than let it fester into something more destructive. I refuse to let him back in, to allow his toxicity to seep into my life once more. Every moment spent apart is a testament to my resilience, a reminder that I have the power to reclaim my life from the wreckage he left behind.

To anyone who finds themselves at a similar crossroads: choose yourself. Choose peace over chaos. The road ahead may be paved with heartache, but it’s also a path toward healing and strength. Embrace the emotions that arise—let the anger and sadness wash over you, but don’t let them define you. You are not a product of someone else’s actions; you are a warrior who has fought and survived.

In the end, my decision is not just about him; it’s about my freedom. I will not suffer the consequences of his choices any longer. I will not allow the ghosts of my past to dictate my future. I close this chapter for good, sealing the door with a promise to myself: I am worthy of better.

And it’s good!

I don’t know if peaches tastes good with condensed milk....

I watched a French movie and I cannot comprehend! Haha! I thought I was ready!!! 

I gave him my heart, and he took and pinched it to death; and flung it back to me. People feel with their hearts, Ellen, and since he has destroyed mine, I have not power to feel for him.

—Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

Every night you dream that you talk to a genie, when you wake up you can't remember what you wished for. One morning you wake up with a giant crab pincer replacing your right arm. What do you do?

Dreams are strange things. They take us to places beyond our imagination, and sometimes, they’re so vivid that we wake up questioning what’s real. For weeks now, I’ve been having a recurring dream where I talk to a genie every night. The weird part? I could never remember what I wished for when I woke up. It was like my subconscious was playing hide-and-seek with the details, leaving me with a hazy memory of the conversation but no clue what I’d actually asked for.

But then came that morning. The one where I opened my eyes, stretched out my right arm, and… it wasn’t there. Instead of my usual hand and arm, a massive crab pincer had taken its place. I froze, staring at the monstrous claw attached to my shoulder, a mix of horror and disbelief washing over me. This couldn’t be real, could it? I had to be dreaming still, right?

I did what any rational person would do: I pinched myself with the claw. Let me tell you, crab pincers are no joke. The pain was very real, and with that, the reality of the situation sunk in. Somehow, someway, my dream wish had manifested into this bizarre and terrifying reality.

After the initial shock, the questions flooded in. How could this have happened? Why a crab pincer, of all things? I tried to think back to the previous night’s dream, but as always, the memory was foggy. Maybe I’d wished for something vague, like “strength” or “protection,” and the genie had interpreted that in the weirdest possible way. Or perhaps I’d made some offhand joke about having a tough exterior. Whatever the reason, here I was, the unfortunate owner of a giant crustacean claw.

So, what do you do when you wake up with a crab pincer for an arm? First, I panicked. Then, I did what I always do when life throws something inexplicable at me: I adapted.

I spent the next few days learning to navigate life with my new appendage. Simple tasks like opening doors, brushing my teeth, or even typing became Herculean challenges. But with practice, I started to get the hang of it. I learned to use the pincer delicately, avoiding crushing everything I touched. I even found it had some unexpected perks—like cracking open coconuts or, if I’m being honest, scaring off unwanted attention.

But beyond the practicalities, this experience forced me to think deeply about identity and change. How much of who we are is tied to our physical form? How do we adapt when something so fundamental about ourselves is altered overnight? The crab pincer became a symbol of resilience, a reminder that even in the face of the absurd, we have the power to adapt, to find humor, and to continue moving forward.

In the end, I’ve come to embrace my new reality, as strange as it is. I still don’t know what I wished for that led to this, and maybe I never will. But maybe that’s the point. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes, the wishes we make in the depths of our dreams lead to outcomes we never could have imagined. The important thing is how we respond to those outcomes—how we choose to grow, change, and find strength, even when life hands us something as bizarre as a crab pincer for an arm.

And who knows, maybe tonight I’ll dream of that genie again and finally get some answers. Until then, I’ll keep pinching myself—both literally and figuratively—just to remind myself that this wild journey is, indeed, real.

So, here I am, sitting by the window, and I can't help but wonder—what's up with the weather today? It's one of those bizarre days where the sun is shining like it’s trying to convince us it’s summer in full swing, yet at the same time, it's raining. And not just a light drizzle. Nope, proper rain. But here’s the kicker: there are no rain clouds in sight.

It’s like the weather couldn’t decide what kind of mood it wanted to be in today, so it thought, “Why not both?” The sun is out in all its blazing glory, making everything glisten, and yet there’s rain falling from what appears to be a perfectly clear sky. Honestly, it’s kind of funny and confusing at the same time. I keep looking outside, expecting to see dark clouds rolling in, but nope. Just blue skies, light clouds, sunshine, and a very confused me.

It’s one of those surreal moments where nature decides to remind you that it doesn’t play by the rules. It's like the universe is saying, “Who says rain and sunshine can’t coexist?” If you look outside, it’s like a scene from a dream. The ground is wet, but the air is warm. Raindrops are hitting the window, yet there’s light pouring into the room. It’s like the sky is crying and laughing at the same time.

In a strange way, I kind of love this kind of weather. It’s unexpected, and there’s something magical about the contrast. Plus, who doesn’t like a good rainbow moment after the weird mix of rain and sunshine? It’s like the weather’s way of saying, “Okay, I might’ve been a little confusing, but here’s something beautiful to make up for it.”

At the end of the day, it just goes to show how unpredictable and wild nature can be. It’s one of those things where all you can do is sit back, laugh, and enjoy the strange beauty of it all.

I choked on my pill. 😂 Jesus.

What Was the Best Invention of the Last 50 Years?

When it comes to inventions that have completely transformed our lives over the past fifty years, the internet stands out as the best. Its impact on how we communicate, learn, shop, and live our daily lives is unmatched. Before the internet, staying in touch with people far away was a hassle. We had to write letters that took forever to arrive or make expensive long-distance phone calls. The internet changed all that by allowing us to communicate instantly, no matter where we are. Email, social media, and video calls make it easy to keep in touch with friends and family around the world.

The internet is like having the world’s biggest library at our fingertips. Whether we need information for school, want to learn how to fix something, or are looking for the latest news, it’s all online. With just a few clicks, we can find information on almost anything. This has made learning much more accessible for everyone, not just students, but anyone who wants to know more about the world. Online shopping is another game-changer. Instead of going to the mall, we can buy almost anything we need online. Websites like Amazon and eBay offer tons of products, often at better prices than physical stores. Plus, small businesses can sell their products online, reaching customers they never could have before.

Social media has also totally changed how we connect with others. Apps like Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter let us share our lives, keep up with friends, and even meet new people. These platforms have become places where people can come together to support causes, share ideas, and make their voices heard. The internet has also driven innovation by paving the way for new technologies like cloud computing, smart devices, and artificial intelligence. These advancements are changing industries like healthcare, education, and entertainment, making our lives easier and more connected.

Considering all the ways it has improved our lives, the internet is definitely the best invention of the last fifty years. It has brought us closer together, made learning and shopping more convenient, and inspired countless new ideas and technologies. As we move forward, the internet will continue to be a major part of our lives, shaping our future in ways we can’t even imagine yet.

Hip-hop has always thrived on beef, and 2024’s rap battle between Kendrick Lamar and Drake, fueled by Not Like Us, has been one of the most exciting in years. But as great as Kendrick’s diss is, it still doesn’t come close to dethroning Tupac Shakur’s Hit ‘Em Up as the greatest diss track of all time. What sets Hit ‘Em Up apart is its sheer venom—Tupac didn’t just take lyrical jabs; he launched a full-scale verbal assault. From the opening line—"First off, f** your b**** and the clique you claim"*—he made it clear this wasn’t just about music; it was deeply personal. Unlike Kendrick, who approaches his diss with surgical precision and slick double meanings, Tupac’s rage was unfiltered and raw, making every word hit harder. Beyond just lyrical skill, Hit ‘Em Up carried real-life stakes. The East Coast vs. West Coast feud was at its peak, and the track was a direct response to Tupac’s shooting at Quad Studios, an event he believed Biggie and Diddy were involved in. This wasn’t just about rap supremacy—it was about betrayal, survival, and revenge. While Not Like Us is a cultural moment, Hit ‘Em Up was a cultural earthquake. It didn’t just trend; it intensified an already deadly rivalry and remains one of the most infamous tracks in music history. The energy, the disrespect, and the direct name-dropping make it unmatched. Tupac didn’t sneak diss or hide behind subliminals—he outright humiliated his enemies, turning rap beef into all-out war. While Not Like Us is a masterclass in calculated disrespect, Hit ‘Em Up remains the blueprint for all diss tracks that followed. It wasn’t just a song; it was a weapon, and no diss track before or after has carried the same level of aggression, impact, and cultural weight. Until another rapper delivers something with more emotion, rawness, and stakes, Hit ‘Em Up will remain undefeated.

too early to sleep but i have nothing left to do.