I Think If Anyone Finds The Labels Of Light And Dark Absolutely Meaningless, It's Logan And Janus, Because

How Remus Describes The Other Sides

From a bit in a fic I wrote; basically, Janus sent a letter to a "new dark side" (its dark!Logan) that showed up explaining—

Y'know what I'll just put in the whole excerpt

Welcome to the ‘dark side.’ There are two of us here and four on the ‘light side.’ Fair warning, most of the others don't like us. More details on that and the main things that have happened if you missed it on the back. I look forward to meeting you, it has been quiet ever since Virgil (Now Anxiety, previously Paranoia) left. There's no rush to come out, though. Take your time. — Janus, Self-Preservation (Nicknamed ‘Deceit’)

He flipped it over, seeing a thorough but quick explanation of the split, Virgil switching sides, who the others were, why the lights didn't like the darks, etc. Janus had very nice handwriting.

It was really… Sweet. Nobody had ever been so considerate towards Logan in his life.

...

Hiya! Figured Jan already did the important introduction, professional and shit, but here's whatcha gotta know about the others—

Roman: My brother, kinda! Very dramatic, title is Creativity, his color is red, he always has his sword and knows how to use it so beware! He dresses like a Disney prince. Minus the crown. He has one. He just doesn't wear it.

Janus: You probably got a good gauge of his personality from his letter, his color is yellow, his title is Self-Preservation but the others always call him Deceit (he’s never corrected them), he's got some scales so don't be freaked out when you see him for the first time (y’know those Catholics and their lying snakes)

Me!: I usually write on neon paper didn't wanna ‘til I knew if you were okay with it, I’m Creativity but the non-socially-accepted Creativity so like intrusive thoughts and such, my color is green, I have a morning star fair warning though I hardly use it on people (never used it on anyone but Roman)

Patton: He’s Morality, he’s very confused about a lot of things, loves cats but he’s allergic, color is light blue, scared of spiders (which is hilarious cuz he loves Virgil), he pretends he’s the dad of the group and calls the others kiddo but he’s just a kid that had to grow up too fast and is now way out of his depth but scared to ask for help??? he wears glasses

Virgil: He’s Anxiety, used to be Paranoia when he was a dark side but then he got a redemption arc and now they love him, his color is purple, he loves spiders, he’s got really intense eyeshadow under his eyes, he’ll probably hiss at you when he first sees you

Logan: Ah, Logan. His title is Logic, and he’s truly the only light side with any braincells. However they NEVER FUCKING LISTEN TO HIM LIKE WTF sorry Thomas is such a dumbass it pisses me off being he! should! just! listen! to! Logan! and! he! wouldn't! have! half! these! problems! but nooOOOOoooOOoooo he’s gotta be a fucking idiot all the time, anyway Logan’s color is indigo he wears glasses he wears a black button-up and a blue striped tie and he’s the only light side worth talking to tbh

He teared up, reading the section about him. Remus got it. He understood how he felt. It was a bit confusing how he described him in more detail than the others, but he quickly moved past that, realizing Remus had forgotten to sign his name and chuckling a little.

(end of excerpt)

Here ya go

OH MY GOD I GET IT NOW THANK YOU

(That's actually really funny now that I get it—)

QUESTION SANDER SIDES FANS:

Please help me I don't know what this joke means and I can't find an explanation anywhere:

[You call those witty?]

Patton: Well, you call those glasses?

[I mean yes, I'm not sure if you're implying some—]

Patton: Well, I don't think they'll pick up, they don't have a cell phone! ZING!

Eating Crofter's and yeah, I finally get Logan shoveling it in his mouth right from the jar, this shit SLAPS

THANK YOU!!

requested by matt-w-blogging

Sometimes I fuck myself up thinking about how on the DSMP Technoblade became Ranboo's sensei, and then became (jokingly) distraught because the sensei always dies, and how in real life Ranboo wears the crown because viewers said they sounded like Techno and they said "if the crown fits, wear it" and then the two became friends, with Techno being an experienced streamer/youtuber and Ranboo being extremely new

And then, y'know

The sensei always dies

Remus, nervous: Hey, uh... I drew Thomas...

Drawing: Non-creepy, realistic, black and white portrait of Thomas

Patton, eyes lighting up: Oh my goodness, kiddo, that's so good! You're a really talented artist!

Logan: You drew that? It's really good.

Thomas, pointing at it excitedly: That's me! That's so good! Oh my god

Janus: That's very impressive. You should be proud.

Virgil: Yeah, that's really good, dude. *kinda awkward but supportive thumbs-up*

Remus, eyes full of tears, turning to Roman: *whisper* Is this what it's like?

Roman: *solemnly sets hand on his shoulder*

Roman: Welcome to the 'I'm-Going-To-Keep-Creating-To-Chase-This-High-I-Get-From-Praise' Club.

Remus: Who else is in it?

Roman: All creators that crave validation. So... A helluva lot of people.

Breaking News: World-Class Soft Pretzel Maker Invents New Solution To Dip Pretzels In Before Baking

The baker is quoted as saying the usual baking-soda-and-water method was "too basic for [their] taste"

Just Remus Being Relatable In My Band AU Fic

“This is very disconcerting. Patton, you sweet little puffball, come back." (When Patton's acting punk)

“Look, guy. I’m not in the mood to fight. But if you don't leave, I will fight you, and music’s not the only thing I’m trained in.” (What, karate?) “No, common sense. I have two knives on my body, want to find out where?”

(Do you really have two knives) “Nope. I have four. If he gets the two, he thinks it’s done, I pull out the third. He’s like, okay, that's pretty smart, he gets the third, and then I stab with the fourth.”

“I’m just making sure I don't get the wrong idea here! It's good to know the status of your friends’ relationships! Shut up.” (They haven't said anything) “They’re mocking me with their eyes.”

“Not to stereotype, but I’m kind of flaming."

(Glare) "You know you're going to win this because I’m not allowed to explain the situation.”

"How do you want to celebrate? Don't tell me you don't do something to celebrate after winning against the entire state."

“I like having smooth legs."

"Get on my back, I’ll carry you.” (Really?) “Yeah. We have to preserve your perfect marshmallow body, don't we?”

“Tell me if he bothers you again. I will make him regret it.”

"I crack jokes when I'm uncomfortable as a coping mechanism, so I can't have a serious conversation about it, so yeah, worm.”

“I’m afraid of going out unarmed at night or evening. I mean, it's a pretty simple fix, though; I arm myself.”

“I feel stupid arming myself just to go for a walk at night. I’m working on it.”

Embarrassing Music #3

Roman, having recovered: Okay, so I didn't catch Virgil, but someone else has to listen to embarrassing music. Let me think...

Roman: So, Remus and Patton don't get embarrassed about that stuff. I doubt Logan listens to music with words anyway. So... What, D— Janus? What does he even listen to?

Roman: (imagines Janus sitting at a table sipping tea while a classical waltz plays in the background)

Roman: I mean, that might be worse than dancing, especially if he's alone.

Meanwhile, in the dark side:

Remus:

WE'LL SET THE SKY ON FIRE

Janus:

WE'LL PUT THE NIGHT AWAY

Both:

WE'LL BE MADE OF STARS

Janus:

WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU HIGH

Remus:

YOU'RE GONNA FEEL THE FLAMES

Both:

WE'LL BE MADE OF STARS

WE'RE GONNA LIGHT IT UP WOAH-OH-OH-OH

WE'RE GONNA LIGHT IT UP WOAH-OH-OH-OH

Happy pride month to the tiny cowboy and tiny Trojan man from Night at the Museum