So Jaskier, Completely Shitfaced, Is Sitting Somewhere On The Dirty Floor Near A Tavern In Oxenfurt,

Why is it that every time you go back and rewatch a show from your childhood there’s always at least one extremely popular celebrity that just randomly showed up in an episode like was nobody gonna tell me that john cena was on psych literally what the fuck

Sunflower

OC Elizabeth Swan || Angst || Fluff || Mentions of Suicide

Chapter 1: Coming Home

Chapter 2: Open Wound

Chapter 3: Collide

Chapter 4: The End

Chapter 5: The Beginning

Chapter 6: coming soon

Gang I was watching csi and misha collins fucking jumpscared me

My gang, my bros, my guys

Never before in my entire life have I ever heard anyone refer to my aceness as (and I cannot stress this enough) being “horny deficient”

And yet

Here we are

Just because I'm AroAce doesn't mean I don't want a relationship. I want one, only instead of it being like Marshall and Lily from "How I Met Your Mother", I want one like Penelope and Derek from "Criminal Minds". Full of name-calling and innuendo, that shocks people and makes them feel scandalized and completely platonic.

Okay but modern AU where Jaskier greencard marries Geralt’s ex, Yennefer, who he kinda hates, because she’s in trouble and he can’t resist helping people and also plans to hold it over her (in a bantery kinda way) and thinks it’ll be funny to rub in Geralt’s face when he inevitably comes crawling back to Yennefer.

They pass the interview with almost zero prep because it turns out back when they were jealous rivals for Geralt’s attention they learned way too much about each other. Then they have (supposed) hate sex when they’re drunk because 1. why not? 2. they’re both curious and 3. they’re both still kinda pissed off at Geralt the booze make it seem like the perfect revenge. 

Jaskier finds inexpressible amounts of glee in referring to Yennefer as his “ball and chain” and “old lady” and other unflattering nicknames for a spouse, and Yennefer enjoys ruining his every attempt at getting laid by waiting for him to make a pass, then storming up and slapping him and bursting into tears about him “ruining their marriage” by betraying his loving wife.

Then they sleep together again because neither of them is getting laid and they’ll each begrudgingly admit the other is good in bed (Yennefer says it’s the only time his incessant strumming is enjoyable).

Then the next thing they know they’re horrified to discover they’ve been in a committed sexual relationship with all the appearance of a romantic relationship for several months. They haven’t had a genuine fight since… well, Jaskier can’t remember. And Yennefer’s been at nearly every gig he’s played since they got married, and he’s got into a routine of giving her a foot rub when she drops onto the sofa after work, and the love song he wrote about her that was intended to annoy her has started to sound distressingly genuine no matter what he does, and Yennefer was terribly rude to Valdo when they ran into him and may or may not have keyed his car, and really, they’re better at being married than either of their parents were. They’re pretty good at being married full stop to be honest, and that’s when they’re not even trying.

And okay, so maybe he kinda doesn’t hate her after all. Maybe.

Tim Curry must turn all the scenery he chews into pussy. It's the only way he can serve that much cunt.

And that dude who played shaggy in the scooby doo play where Scooby died and shaggy became an fbi agent and velma did drugs and fred sold weed

Was no one gonna tell me that fucking blaine was in a very potter musical?????

My brosephs

I have been going on and on about wanting a tv show/book/movie about a psychic who has to pass visions off as just being really observant or someone who’s really observant and has to pass observations off as visions for literal years

Apparently nobody thought to mention that something like that very much exists and is amazing

Psych my beloved

While we're on the topic of De-aging AU's I wanna talk about Jason and Damian if Jason was 14 again real quick.

Do you guys think that Damian looks at this version of Jason, so different from the version he knows, nothing like the person he was told Jason was, and feels uncomfortably seen?

Damian was always told that Jason died because he was reckless, because he disobeyed orders, he was fired as Robin and he got himself killed. A cautionary tale, not a threat to his position. He dismisses Jason because Bruce does, because Dick does, because sometimes even Babs and Alfred do.

That's not the kid that he's looking at now. This Jason is happy, and smart, and full of love that has not yet soured into grief. He hangs on Bruce's every word, trains until his hands bleed and his body gives out to perfect the moves Bruce teaches him. He looks at Bruce with stars in his eyes and he calls him dad.

And Damian can't help but think, that this is the perfect Robin. The perfect son. And if Jason - sweet, loving, strong, Jason - can be fired, can die and have his room locked away and his pictures torn down, can have his last memory as Robin be as A Good Soldier, how could the rest of them ever compete? What could Damian do to stand a chance?

Jason will never grow out of the shadow of Robin, like the rest of them did. As long as Bruce, and Dick, and Babs, and Alfred look at him and see a dead kid who came back wrong, he will never get to be anything else. He will not get to be looked at through who he is now without the shadow of a dead boy looming over him.

And the worst part? Jason is exactly the same person he was back then. Bitter, sure, angry, justifiably, but he is still the boy with too much love in his heart and righteous fury festering in his gut. He is exactly the same boy who threw himself in front of an explosion to save his mother.

(The lines between the mother that betrayed him and the father that disgraced him are so very blurred. Fire or blade or crowbars or fists it does not matter. It ends the same way it always does because Jason Todd always dies, in every universe, in every timeline, Jason dies and crawls out only to be killed again and again and again.)