Some Cheesy Hazbin Doodles!

Telemachus, crying that he finally gets to meet his dad: “For twenty years, I never could outgrow you”

Odysseus, the short king, also crying: son, you are several inches taller then I am

Hamilton: excuse me are Aaron burr sir?

Burr: who's asking?

Hamilton: heard your name at uni, punched your friend, how did you graduate early?

Burr: I'm an orph-

Hamilton: YOURE AN ORPHAN?! I'M AN ORPHAN- THERE SHOULD BE A WAR!! :D

Burr:... shut up

Hamilton: what

Burr: if you don't shut up, I'm gonna shoot you

fanfiction truly being the savior for everyones sanity

Ma'am please bestow upon me your amazing smut writing ways! 😩Your smut scenes are always top tier and I'm so jealous! I feel like all of my smut writing ends up turning out sounding the same.

Awwwh Lau 🥹🥹 Thank you babe, that’s so sweet of you - you’re so kind to me ♥️

And I was going to joke that I have no idea how I do it (and that is true to an extent - lots of it just happens in the moment!) but real talk, writing smut is one of the things I find MOST difficult in writing. It’s so time consuming to get it right, or it is for me anyway!

But here’s how I try and approach it… apologies I’m chatty and this got a bit long but I hope it’s useful to you and others!

Alex’s Guide To Writing Smut

Understand the context

1. What’s the vibe? Why are they having sex?

Is it angry/angsty/longing/needy/soft/sweet/something else I can’t think of right now? How are the characters arriving into the smut, because it totally shapes how you think about the tone of the scene and how the actual act will play out. Angry rough fucking is not the same as soft, we just woke up and I need you again sex. And that doesn’t need a tonne of exposition to set out in the story but you, the author, need to know where it’s coming from.

2. What’s their relationship?

Like above, sex between people who have been together for ages is different from sex with someone new(ish). Of course you can still surprise each other in a long term relationship but new relationships are all about discovery. And this affects how they communicate during the act itself, and how comfortable they might be together (as well as in voicing likes and dislikes). Also, a one night stand won’t be the same as a pairing who are a couple, and not all of those are born equal - is it a one night of fun or is that we only have one night, because we shouldn’t/can’t do this, but I love you? Those bring very different energies!

Creating scenes that feel ‘real’

4. Limbs logistics

This is the stuff that takes me the longest because I’m a weirdo and I like to be able to properly picture who and what’s where at any given moment! Do think about whether it’s physically possible for his hand to be there if it was just somewhere entirely different. And don’t be afraid to have a little fun with it if your setting allows a bit of real life challenges. Getting stuck or whatever and giggling about it is so human and relatable and will add realism.

3. Use ALL the senses.

Obviously this is an important tip for writing generally but if you want to build a sensory picture and create intimacy it’s extra important in smut writing. Smut writing isn’t just describing where all the limbs and appendages go - if you want it to be immersive you need to go beyond that and explore how the characters FEEL and what else they are experiencing:

- Smells in particular are especially evocative and unique. They stir up emotions and or create a sense of safety.

- Think about how you describe the different kinds of touches (again, all relates to knowing your context). Not just stimulation touch but how they hold each other, breath on skin etc. Are they gentle or rough. And most importantly, how does it feel - both touching and being touched.

- Don’t forget about taste - you don’t have to major on it if it gives you the ick but it’s part of the sexual experience so don’t forget to consider how it might be useful to include.

- Sound allows you to convey emotion with and without dialogue. How does their voice sound? When you’re pressed together can you actually feel the sound? You can use this to show progress too as they get closer to climax. (That feels so wrong to write in a non-smut scene context!)

5. Choice of positions/ sexual acts

My personal preference is starting with foreplay cos I enjoy writing the build up, but sometimes (back to context again!) that doesn’t make sense for your pairing. Deciding what they actually do during the smut scene totally depends on all the stuff in the section above. For example, are they short on time? Do they have all night? Is it the only night they might ever have and so they want to do everything you can think of? All of these will affect what kind of sex they have and the kind of energy they bring to it.

I rarely sit down and plot this out (but I’m not a plotter anyway so that’s just me) - I write what feels right in the moment because I’ve focussed my effort on knowing WHY these two particular people are having sex. Allow the context to guide what feels natural and have fun with it.

6. Dialogue

I used to write with hardly dialogue during smut because it made me uncomfortable trying to squeeze it in, but I’ve got better at it as I’ve written more. So I think you have to do what feels right for you, as the writer. But also, once again, you need to know what your characters would do. Are they talkers? Is one of them noisy but the other is the silent type? Does one have a filthy mouth that makes the other weak and they like to use that against them? Do you want to include a praise kink or someone who gets off on being humiliated (don’t forget AFTER CARE!). All of that affects what kind of dialogue you might have.

Personally I still tend to keep it quite limited (writing Emmett and the whole ‘having to be quiet’ is my fav kink of the moment!). Instead, I focus more on the senses side of things, and let them get a bit lost in the pleasure inside their own heads. And instead of external dialogue, I often opt for more internal chat about how the other person and what they’re doing makes them feel. And how they feel is influenced by, you guessed it, the context!

What to do when it all feels a bit too ‘samey’

So to Lauren’s original ask about scenes feeling overly similar - especially when you’re working with the same set of characters in a long running series. I have this all the time, especially with my Lockdown series because those two are just feral for each other! To tackle getting stuck in a rut, here’s what I think about:

Surprise, surprise, it’s all about CONTEXT again!

Ok yes, you only have so many sexual acts and positions to work with. And not everyone wants to write all the kinks in the land, I know I don’t! But what is different every time is why your couple is having sex - what’s led to/inspired that moment and how are they coming into the scene. So I refer you back to the very first section - understand the scenario and mood you’re trying to create. You can stack the different acts however you like but the energy and emphasis and emotion your characters bring to that should inherently make it feel different each time.

If you want a real life example, check out the smut scenes in this mini series - they fuck in every chapter but each time the context and how the characters come into the scene is different, so (I hope!) the smut reads differently.

And finally

Do not underestimate the power of a little humour! Real life sex can be funny. It’s intimate and, lots of the time, with someone you are (or want to be) very close to. They are moments of physical and emotional connection. Let the people be people. Don’t make it all perfect all the time. Life isn’t like that! 🤍

Other useful resources

How to write smut by @youneedsomeprompts

Smut terminology study

Useful smut language/sound descriptors

Really good guide to smut terms

☕️ Found this helpful? Why not buy me a coffee? - Ko-Fi

Awesomely cute dividers by @firefly-graphics

me @ y/n when they do something i’d never do:

like babe this isn’t us ?? get it together

First Time I draw like this on laptop at Krita. I know it's shitty Well i am still learning.

It's Adam and one of mine OC, Maja The biggest troublemaker in Exorcists, she Bed Adam have one Simple thing hate for sinners.

I can't get enough of laughing jack !!! HELP!!

Runs in the family.

Loyalty is Hot - Adam (Hazbin Hotel) x Fem!Reader SMUT

Request: "I was hoping for a fic where Reader is Adam's third wife and they meet Lucifer (maybe in a meeting?) and he states how he could take Reader from Adam as well. Adam is kind of internally panicking as Lucifer states what it took to take his other two wives until Reader gets all fed up and rudely puts him in his place. Causing Adam to get all hot and bothered for his wifey and their loyalty?"

Contents/Possible Warnings: P in V sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink, praise kink, creampie, semi-public sex (they fuck in a meeting room), Adam being himself, creampie, slight angst, SMUT, MDNI

You hated meetings, or waking up for them more specifically. It seemed that every time your husband dragged you to one it was at the earliest time possible, a time you'd much rather be spending in bed with him, enjoying the time of day where Heaven was at its most peaceful. It was also the time of day when Adam, sleepy and in a loving mood, was least annoying (which pained you a bit to admit, especially considering how much you loved him.)

"Hey! Wake the fuck up, babe! Don't fall asleep on me, not here." Adam nearly shouted, gently poking at you before you fell asleep on his shoulder in the meeting room. You opened your eyes with a sigh, keeping your head rested against your husband.

"Who are we even meeting with? More importantly, why haven't they shown up yet? It's been at least an hour," You questioned, a rising annoyance in your voice. Adam had sprung this meeting on you at the literal last minute, saying something along the lines of 'I need to show off my hot-as-fuck wife,' before practically dragging you out of bed; no more information given. Being the good wife you were, you accompanied him, albeit with some complaining. The last thing you were expecting, however, was for the meeting to be in Hell.

"We're meeting with Lucifer," He explained, the wide grin on his face shown on his mask. "I can't wait to see that fucker's face when he sees how sexy you are and realizes that you're all mine." One of his hands moved down to place itself on your thigh as he leaned in, smirking. "Who knows, maybe I'll even bend you over and fuck you right here on this table while he—"

You glared at him, smacking his hand away with a hiss of his name. He drew it back, letting out an amused laugh. "We are here on business," You reprimanded, an upset frown on your face. "Could you at least save the horny talk for after the meeting? Y'know when we're not in Hell?" Despite your reaction, you had to admit that the idea your husband had conjured up was kinda hot when you thought about it more in depth.

Fuck, you could see it now, feel it even. Back pressed against the table while your husband loomed over you, beautiful golden eyes staring into yours as you spread your legs for him. His thick cock sinking into you slowly, only for him to start with a quick, animalistic pace–just the way you liked it. Fuck, and the way his hands would reach out, grabbing at whatever he could; your ass, tits, thighs, anything that was soft and grabbable.

You hadn't realized the blush that had spread across your face until you saw your husband's smug grin. "Awww, did that turn you on, baby?" He cooed, almost mockingly. "Remember what you said, 'Save it for after the meeting.' Can't jump on me just quite yet." He leaned back in his chair, the grin on his face only growing as you shot him a harsh glare. As much of a lover of sex as he was, Adam loved teasing you even more.

You opened your mouth to argue back at him, slightly embarrassed by his use of your own words against you, but you were cut off by the sound of the door opening and closing. You turned your head, spotting the King of Hell himself. He looked just the way Adam had always described: pale white skin, rosy red cheeks, golden hair, noseless, and short. So short.

You stood from your seat as Lucifer approached the table, the sound of his boots against the tile of the floor filling the otherwise large, quiet room. You smiled, holding out a hand to shake, your typical behavior for business matters, regardless of who it was. "Hello, Your Majesty," You greeted politely, earning an eye roll from your husband next to you.

Lucifer returned your smile with one of his own, taking your hand and shaking it. "Who might this beautiful angel be, Adam?" He questioned, pressing a light kiss to your hand before letting it go and sitting down. Adam smirked as you sat back in your seat next to him, wrapping an arm around you, pulling you in close; not letting his annoyance at Lucifer's small display of affection be visible on his face.

"This is (Y/N), my wife. She's gorgeous, isn't she? A real hottie. Did I mention she's my wife?" He introduced, taking pride in having you by his side. Lucifer glanced at you, looking unamused by Adam's obvious boast before smiling at you. "Well, I certainly hope she's happy with you. Y'know, considering your history with your other wives." He antagonized, covering it up with a polite tone.

Adam's smile faltered. A sensitive topic had been brought up, one that challenged your husband's confidence. You looked between the two, taking note of how they glared at each other with mutual hatred. Lucifer turned his attention fully onto you, leaning in slightly. "Tell me, dear. Does he even satisfy you? Are you happy with him?" You opened your mouth slightly in shock, taken back by the sudden, blunt questioning.

"Fuck you! Of course she's happy with me!" Adam growled. "She's not like those last two bitches who'd settle for you of all people, you short fuck." Despite his assertion, you could hear the doubt in his voice, like he was trying to convince himself of it, too. Lucifer grinned, sharp teeth on full display, not affected whatsoever by your husband's burst of anger.

"It's not my fault that your wives like me better, Adam," Lucifer replied snidely. "All it took for Lilith was a man who did more than the bare minimum, and as for Eve, all it took was giving her a choice of who she wanted to be with for once, and that someone certainly wasn't you."

Lucifer then motioned to you. "I wonder what it'll take for me to win your third wife over, probably not much, to no fault of her own. You're probably leaving her just as unhappy as you did the last two, Adam." You watched as Adam tensed up at Lucifer's words, any confidence now gone as he struggled to keep up his self-absorbed facade.

"T-Thats not true," He stuttered, one of the few times you had ever seen him do so in all of the years you had known him. The drop in Adam's demeanor was the final straw, and you calmly got up from your seat. Both men's eyes followed you, watching your movements closely. Even with the mask on his face, you could see the fear in your husband's eyes as he watched you approach Lucifer.

"Honey? Baby?" Adam called out to you, watch as your face morphed into one of pure anger; a sight that even scared the King of Hell himself. They both knew that you were far from happy, and that was never a good thing.

"First of all, Lucifer," You hissed, saying his name with pure malice. "I am not Lilith, nor am I Eve. I may have been created with the same purpose in mind, but let it be known that we are far from similar." You slowly got closer to him, almost like a predator stalking its prey in the most terrifying way possible. "Second of all, yes I am happy. Clearly happier with Adam than Lilith was with you, considering how she up and left you and went only God knows where. I also don't see Eve around."

Lucifer's smile fell for the first time that day, and with it, his pride. Adam watched in astonishment as you continued to put Lucifer in his place. "Finally, I need you to understand that you're far from being my type. You're a coward who barely governs his people, yet so proudly calls himself the boss. Then you waltzed in here acting like you knew me better than I know myself, even when we had just met. I love Adam with every fiber of my being, even if he's the most obnoxious jackass I've ever met."

You got even closer, causing Lucifer to lean back in an attempt to escape you. "Oh, and for the record—" You leaned into his ear. "Adam fucks me better than I'm sure you've ever fucked anyone else in your pathetic life. So, yes, he does satisfy me." You whispered. You pulled back suddenly, a smile on your face. "Is that understood?"

Lucifer gulped, nodding in reply. "Lovely." You grinned, moving back to Adam. "Now, I'm afraid we're out of time. We'll have to reschedule this meeting for another day, preferably with someone else. Maybe you can send someone in your stead? Someone who's more politically involved in your Kingdom's workings, perhaps."

Lucifer let out an awkward laugh, standing up before making his way to the door, mumbling something about how we would send his daughter instead next time, before leaving. You stood triumphant, hands on your hips as you watched his departure.

"I—" Adam began, almost at a loss for words. "Are you aware how fucking hot that was!? Holy shit—" He pulled you down into his lap, pulling his mask off before crashing his lips against yours, kissing you eagerly. He pulled you down by the hips, grinding you against him, causing you to feel his growing hard-on through the fabric of his robes. "Fuck–Please, I know you said we have to wait, but please please please let me fuck you right here. Need you now."

You grinded down, a moan escaping both of you. "Why don't you do what you said you'd do earlier, hmm? Fuck me right here on this table, Adam." He bent you over the table, and you let him pull your skirt up just enough for him to be able to then tug your underwear off, tossing it aside somewhere in the room.

"Impatient today, aren't you, hon?" You teased playfully, looking back to find him not even bothering to take off his robes, choosing to pull them up instead. He chuckled, placing his hands on your hips as he lined himself up with your entrance. "Seeing you put annoying little fucks like Lucifer in their place does things to me, baby." He purred, thrusting in.

You let out a gasp at the feeling, his thick cock stretching you out perfectly. His pace was quick from the start, hips snapping against yours as the sound of it all filled the room. "I bet Lucifer couldn't fuck you like this now, could he? No, you need a real man to show you who you belong to." Adam groaned, kissing and nipping at your neck.

"H-He could never," You stuttered, struggling to speak as your mind went foggy from pleasure. "I need—Oh, fuck!" You let out a cry as his fingers found your clit, rubbing at it. "That's a good girl, let all those pretty little noises out." He praised, the sound of your moans more beautiful than any Heavenly choir to him.

"You're so much better than those other whores," He moaned, pounding into you, eyes screwed shut in pure ecstasy. "My perfect fucking wife, the love of my life—Shit—" He let out a growl as you clenched down on him. He let out a sweet laugh, hands moving up to grab at your tits while he fucked into you. "Oh? The praise turns you on, huh? You should be honored to receive it from me."

A mix of your moans and his spread throughout the room as you both drew closer to your climaxes, your shared noises growing louder and louder by the second. "Fuck," He cursed, his thrusts losing their rhythm as he rutted into you. "Gonna cum, 'm gonna fill you up. Maybe I'll even put a baby in you just to show Lucifer how in love with me you are."

"Do it—" You begged, legs quivering as he angled his cock in just the right way for the tip to graze your sweet spot. "Cum inside me Adam, let them know that I'm yours. All yours—A-Adam!" Your orgasm hit you with sudden force, the feeling coursing through you.

"Yesyesyes! Feels so fucking good cumming around me—" The sensation of your pussy contracting around him during your orgasm pushed him over the edge, and he came, shooting thick ropes of cum deep inside of you.

You rested your face against the table, no longer able to hold yourself up by your arms after the energy your climax had used up. Your orgasm subsided, but your body still shook, lightly trembling from the enjoyable onslaught it had just endured. You took deep breaths as Adam pulled out of you, feeling his cum leaking out of your well-fucked cunt.

He pressed soft kisses to your neck, holding you as you both basked in your post-orgasmic bliss together. "I love you," He mumbled against your neck, smiling. "You seriously have no idea how grateful I am for you to be my wife. You're absolute perfection, sweetheart." He pulled himself off of you, sitting back in his chair, a satisfied smirk on his face. "You think some sinner scum is gonna have to clean our mess up? That shit would be hilarious."

You sighed, shooting him a harsh look that he only laughed at. "Adam," You warned. "Have some respect, would you?" He laughed again, pulling you down into his lap, grinning. "Respect? Baby, we just screwed in a fancy meeting room. We are past the point of failing to show respect."

He leaned in closer to you, mischief in his golden eyes. "Now, why don't we go for a round two?"

I had this idea a short while ago