Fyodor: I Don't Know How To Tell You This But You're In Love With Me.

Chuuya, pointing to his leather pants on the bed: Which one of these bottoms would look the best on me?

Kouyou: Well considering none of them are Dazai I would say none.

Chuuya:

Kouyou:

Chuuya, turning all red: The literal fuck?

Chuuya: Here's the thing. So I've known for a while now that Dazai has a little crush on me...

Kouyou: A little crush?

Chuuya:

Kouyou: Well, I suppose so, in the same way Menelaus had a little crush on Helen of Troy.

Chuuya: Yeah, I don't rlly know who they are...and I don't care, so listen...

Chuuya: The point is Dazai isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with.

Kouyou: Darling, Dazai isn't the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with...

*the agency reorganizes and cleans the office cause it is a total mess*

Kunikida: We need a more efficient method. What about the Norwegian system Munkensmat?

The ada: ???

Kunikida: In Munkensmat, you get rid of all personal possessions except one.

Dazai: Ok I'll go first. It's between my antidepressants and this fidget spinner.

Dazai: *throws in the can his meds*

Dazai: I think I made the right call.

Odasaku, to Dazai, about Chuuya: What is a rival if not a crush you're mad about having?

Akutagawa: Mr. Dazai, truth or dare?

Dazai: Dare.

Chuuya: Why do you always choose dare?

Atsushi: Because he’s too scared to face the truth.

Chuuya: And what’s the truth?

Atsushi: That he’s waiting for someone to dare him to make out with you.

Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?

Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?

Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?

Dazai: It's perfectly fine.

Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.

Chuuya: We...

Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.

Akutagawa: Poetry?

Dazai:

Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.

Akutagawa:

Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.

Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...

Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*

Chuuya: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?

Dazai: Pi.

Chuuya: Pi?

Dazai: Low level, but never ending.

Atsushi: So is this thing between Dazai and Chuuya supposed to be a secret?

Akutagawa: Hardly, the only people who don’t know are Dazai and Chuuya.

Chuuya: Dazai, I said that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been 5 seconds late to our date. Please say something.

Dazai: Karma's gonna track you down, step by step from town to town...

Chuuya: I-

Atsushi: What was Chuuya like when he was a little?

Dazai: Oh I think you mean young. He's always been little.