I Find Myself Wondering How I’ve Been Resonating Intricately Melancholia To Ghibli.
I find myself wondering how i’ve been resonating intricately melancholia to Ghibli.
Everything about the music, the art, the stories, and the characters. We all know that’s what makes us fall in love with it. Yet there’s this opaque emotions of longing and nostalgia for something i’ve never had that these films had made me felt. These films just captures it, the simplicity of their manner of living, that fuzzy warm feeling i always feel whilst watching it makes me yearn for that kind of life.
Ghibli kind of conveys these sense of realism through the prism of fantasy or surrealism. That is why i’ve always wanted to be there, not because of the magic or the fantasies, but because i’ve loved how it shows the beauty of doing something so mundane.. or of having a mundane life.
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this mf better be resurrected like jesus in season 5
My motto is “perform one good deed each day.”
-Kuronuma sawako
New year…
“Am i making you feel sick?”
It’s crazy how some of my greatest fear is always linked with the fear of rejection. Why am I always in the hunt for the validation of others? Even from the people that do not even matter to me?
I absolutely despise silent treatment with my whole being. The way I would rather getting screamed at and being called every single worst name in the book than getting silent treatments makes me physically sick. When I feel a little bit ignored, when somebody gives me the silent treatments, when i feel the annoyance in someone’s voice.. suddenly, I’m that little girl again. That little girl begging for her mother to speak to her, screaming at her face for her attention and yet still get ignored. Why, just why. Suddenly I’m that little girl again, asking myself if I should just stay quiet and be away from my “best” friend who started giving me silent treatments every time she’s in bad mood, despite knowing that it triggers my trauma. And this fear of getting silent treatments is deeply rooted into my fear of rejection, fear of abandonment.
Getting the slightest hint of abandonment and withdrawal from anybody makes me so sick to my stomach that I want to crawl onto my skin. How can this be my greatest fear. Why do I feel like a worthless sick dog that is begging their owner to not abandon her on some random town out of nowhere.
tumblr walk of shame (frantically reblogging 908 different posts to cover personal posts where you uncomfortably overshared about your mental state)
Been a while since i opened my every thoughts in this account. School has been very tough. I wanna give up.
“Okay here’s the list of chores I want to get done today” I tell myself before having sudden full body fatigue from seemingly nothing
She couldn’t care less, and i never cared more.
So there is no more to say about that.
