Been A While Since I Opened My Every Thoughts In This Account. School Has Been Very Tough. I Wanna Give
Been a while since i opened my every thoughts in this account. School has been very tough. I wanna give up.
More Posts from Macherienicolai and Others
“Am i making you feel sick?”
It’s crazy how some of my greatest fear is always linked with the fear of rejection. Why am I always in the hunt for the validation of others? Even from the people that do not even matter to me?
I absolutely despise silent treatment with my whole being. The way I would rather getting screamed at and being called every single worst name in the book than getting silent treatments makes me physically sick. When I feel a little bit ignored, when somebody gives me the silent treatments, when i feel the annoyance in someone’s voice.. suddenly, I’m that little girl again. That little girl begging for her mother to speak to her, screaming at her face for her attention and yet still get ignored. Why, just why. Suddenly I’m that little girl again, asking myself if I should just stay quiet and be away from my “best” friend who started giving me silent treatments every time she’s in bad mood, despite knowing that it triggers my trauma. And this fear of getting silent treatments is deeply rooted into my fear of rejection, fear of abandonment.
Getting the slightest hint of abandonment and withdrawal from anybody makes me so sick to my stomach that I want to crawl onto my skin. How can this be my greatest fear. Why do I feel like a worthless sick dog that is begging their owner to not abandon her on some random town out of nowhere.
i love listening to MUSIC!!!!!! and imagining things happening
she's the kind of girl who would rather be magical to you than belong to you.
You are a precious man unknown narrator .. for your heart to sank by learning that a beautiful stranger was weeping.
i love being on the insane thirsting side of tumblr and not the baby girl side of tumblr. it’s such a vibe out here bc we’re all just some random person acting absolutely insane about characters.
I love everything you are,
and everything you ever will be.
The fig tree analogy
Always an angel, never a god
I am an average person with an average potential.
“I’m full of desire to be better but no matter what i do, i’m just consistently average.”
Always smart, never gifted
Good at many things but not enough to be great.
“Jack of all trades, Master of none.”
Always trying, never enough
I want to create something that means something, but everything i do, is only okay.
“I’ve never been a natural, All i do is try, try, try.”
“Talent isn’t genius, and no amount of energy can make it so, i want to be great or nothing.”
There were great people i’ve met in my life that always has this one thing they are doing in their lives, something that they’re passionate about, something that they’re born for, a talent. A talent that they can perform in excellence, that they can say “I’m a professional at this.” and that’s because of their experience.
But why am i just alright with everything, and not great with anything. All my life i’ve felt like i have to strive and i had hopes that i can find this talent that is made for me.
Just got back to tumblr…. bouta clean this acc
