Lucifer: Imagine If Someone Handed You A Box Of All The Thing You’d Lost Over The Years

Hades: You look pretty

Lucifer: What?

Hades: I said you look shitty bye

Ares: trust no one in laser tag. No one.

Abel: Hey Theo, what time is it?

Theo: I don’t know, pass me the recorder

Theo: *plays the recorder loudly*

Hades: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE RECORDER AT 2AM?

Theo: It’s 2am

Apollo: [to Hades and Cerberus] Alright, Shaggy and Scooby, you take the sinks, I’ll check the cabinets, and, Velma, you get the spooky-looking fridge.

Athena: What?! Why do I get this...dubious-looking device?

Apollo: Because only Velma would say ‘dubious device.’ Velma gets the spooky fridge.

Hades: Who does that make you, Apollo? Fred?

Apollo: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

Hades: ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE SHITS

Hades: Raven, not you, you’re an angel and we’re happy to have you here.

Person: I HATE YOU.

Hades: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Person: I HATE YOUR SONS.

Hades: (ง'̀-‘́)ง

Asra picking up a call: hello?

Julian calling Asra: I need help, it’s MC

Asra: what’s wrong!?

Julian: well, ever since they got their memories back, they’ve been saying strange things

Asra: what kinds of things?

Julian: well once they yelled about a potion bottle being empty, and then they threw it across the room screaming “yeet”??

Asra: … Jul-

Julian: and another time we were at the market and they screamed “fuck yo chicken strips”?? and they’ve also been doing this weird motion with their arms and calling it a dab?? do you think Lucio is trying to possess them or-

Asra: calm down Julian, I think I know what’s wrong

Julian close to crying: what is it!?

Asra: I think they have Ligma

Julian: Ligma?? I’ve never heard of that, what is it!?

Asra: lig-ma-nuts!!

MC who has been listening in behind julian: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Julian: *SCREAMS*

*before that whole kidnapping affair*

Demeter, to Hades: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Persephone, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay FOREVER?

John + yellow  ✧  for @dalliscar

Thanatos fixes the broken copy machine.

Thanatos: There's something I'd like to show you, boss. “Thanatos. crushed. it." It works!

Hades: I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life.

Thanatos: I mean, I've collected a lot of souls for you.

Hades: And yet death has continued.