Amen

The signs as three word descriptions based on people I know

Aries: tiptoe through chaos

Taurus: a pimpled goblin

Gemini: horny, but chic

Cancer: the sun’s sugar

Leo: stressed but blessed

Virgo: lovely and oblivious

Libra: pure peachy brilliance

Scorpio: don’t poke that

Sagittarius: don’t smoke that

Capricorn: deeply troubled flannel

Aquarius: that’s a fire-hazard

Pisces: nasty lil grandpa

YAS. YOU GO SASSY MCGONIGAL 

salt & vinegar chips are snacks for fucking masochists. literally the entire flavour of the goddamn chip is “acetic acid, which will hurt your tongue, and then just salt on top of that to hurt it worse”. it’s brutal. this chip is designed to hurt you

Promise not to kill anyone? After losing election, TX judge wholesale releases juvenile defendants

After losing his bench in a Democratic sweep the night before, Harris County Juvenile Court Judge Glenn Devlin released nearly all of the youthful defendants that appeared in front him on Wednesday morning, simply asking the kids whether they planned to kill anyone before letting them go.

“He was releasing everybody,” said public defender Steven Halpert, who watched the string of surprising releases. “Apparently he was saying that’s what the voters wanted.”

Waiting for this to be used in a statistical study in 6 years showing it was a net benefit.

Oof I was getting ready to take medicine when I read this. Lol thanks for reminding me. 

got a minute?

please take a moment right now and eat something 🖤🖤🖤

Video footage of eagle stealing food from fox