I Live With An Uncaring Stove That Will Never Holds Temp, But My Onions Are Not At Fault

imagine your girlfriend went missing mysteriously and was replaced by her evil homunculus clone and then you go to a racetrack and they've put up a statue commemorating that time she gave you backshots twice in a row in public and then won the race

Your white boyfriend will do nothing for you. Leave him. Join my terrorist Organization

i like them

the high scoring Balatro fandom is dying reblog if you love being on E

I made a thing

*meeeting a friend for coffee* friend: how's work been?

me: oh you know *mimes putting a gun in my mouth but i moan a little and start sucking the barrel and pushing it deeper

House of Leaves when you get to the footnotes and Johnny's talking about jerking off onto a womans tits

Man, I almost drank myself to death yesterday, I can't even remember my name, if only there was someone that could help me.

The the trustworthy and saint-like lieutenant:

Kim with lungs 🫁