I Had To Do This.

*meeeting a friend for coffee* friend: how's work been?

me: oh you know *mimes putting a gun in my mouth but i moan a little and start sucking the barrel and pushing it deeper

Man, I almost drank myself to death yesterday, I can't even remember my name, if only there was someone that could help me.

The the trustworthy and saint-like lieutenant:

i live with an uncaring stove that will never holds temp, but my onions are not at fault

caramelizing them is my responsibility

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

greg

watch out im going kittymode *hits the blunt until i go nonverbal and stares at you slow blinking* ... meow. meow. meow . mroww. meow.. mrrrrow.. meow. meow

boss make a dollar i make a dime

this make me very sad puppy dog whine

is she... y'know... a friend of jimbo?