Lunari0m - ☾ Lunarium ☾

My arospec journey

From a young age I literally always had a "crush". It was this compulsive force and, as I now understand, very much overcompensation. It wasn't until about two years ago, when I was 24, that I began to really understand this. And even now there are some aspects I don't fully understand.

This constantly "crushing" on people was influenced by amatonormativity, heteronormativity, and my own escapist tendencies. It was a defense mechanism, not only to appear "normal" but also to distract from my mental health issues. Finding out about aromanticism, as well as therapy, has helped me to find and to be my truest self.

Looking back now I realize that I never actually felt romantic attraction. The relationships I had brought me pleasure because I liked the attention and certain aspects of the relationships. I like being affectionate and having someone to do stuff with. I've noticed my tendency to choose to crush on someone based on my current obsession and like state of mind or sense of self. I realized that other people don't do that. For example, I like the Weasley twins and sometimes I'm more into Fred, sometimes it's George. 

I have been in love, or something similar, with two people. With the one who happened to be a girl, it was more like queerplatonic love. I felt this strong desire to be platonic life partners and spend my life with her. I also wanted to be both sensual and sexual with her. I was already best friends with her but I wanted there to be some sort of emotional commitment. But none of this was romantic. With the guy it wasn't as straight forward. We were friends and I wanted to be more. I wanted to be his life partner but it wasn't 100% platonic or 100% romantic. There were times it seemed more in the middle of the two or it veered more towards one of them. I mostly just wanted to be with him but sometimes I felt a desire to marry him. I felt sensual and sexual desire for him as well. This may have been queerplatonic love influenced by amatonormativity tbh. It took me years to get over him and the heartbreak that occurred.

With other people I felt/feel some emotional attraction to it's not as intense. For some it's more of an extra affectionate friendship and the associated feelings don't occur unless I think about them. I don't usually have long lasting "crushes". There's only one I can think of that wasn't detailed above. That one was queerplatonic in nature and was almost casual in a way. Definitely more of a "crush" than being "in love". 

When it's more along the lines of the affectionate friendship attraction, I think of them as cute and want to hug them a lot. I want to be friends with them but also have aesthetic attraction towards them. I don't think of them sexually or want to be life partners.

With people I feel a desire to be life partners with I tend to daydream about them from time to time. I want to be their priority and to be their favorite person, since that's how I feel about them. I want to share my life with them. I want to live together and share the same bed. I want intimacy, emotional and physical. I want to kiss them and to cuddle with them. I would be willing to marry them, though it's not something I desire for myself. I feel warm and excited when I think about them and when I interact with them. They're my special person.

this is prolly gonna come out as word vomit but:

ndrv3 simulation au but its similar to the hunger games?

like once everyone emerges and finishes healing… it’s interview time baby. fans gotta know, what was it like in the game! what kind of relationships did you form, what ones did you break? how did this affect you? and what happened during rehab, how did waking up feel? do you miss your lost memories? how does it feel to not know who your family is? so many questions and you must entertain!

i feel like those who’d died would get a handful of interviews after the game ends but after a certain point they just stop. after all, if they died how great were they really? the weak are quite boring after all. no, what people really want to know about is the survivors! the romance, the drama of it all! interviews, shows, cons, and so much more! the fans are hungry for answers and the team + tsumugi can only give away so much. idk how team danganronpa could even enforce them to go there (“you signed a contract, you’re our property, after all.”) but it’s inch restin to think abt.

Honk If You’re LGBTQ+ Badges from OneInHundred

Queer // Gay // Lesbian (Pink) // Lesbian (Orange/Pink) // Bi Pan // Ace // Demi // Trans // Nonbinary // Genderfluid // Ally

I’m so sorry it took me so long! But here it is! Thank you so much for all the requests, it was a fun experience.

wanting and not wanting at the same time

a comic for asexual awareness week

catra things idk

glimmer: “so i looked it up, and having an animal companion technically qualifies you as a princess.” catra: “i will literally eat your entire face.” 

the princesses have to start the whole “teach the horde kid how to be a person” process all over again 

catra: “wtf is a brunch?” 

adora: “it’s a part of a tree, catra.” 

scorpia: “wait, i thought it’s something you eat.”

adora: “you can eat tree branches!?!”

bow has an entire album filled with photos of catra doing cute cat things and has a will prepared in case she ever finds out he has it. adora contributes most of the content. 

perfuma goes around etheria saying how great a meditation buddy catra is but catra doesn’t have the heart to tell her that she’s just napping the whole time 

adora spread a accurate rumor that catra was the little spoon and everyone gave her so much shit for it she went off the grid with melog for two whole days. 

catra brainstorms with adora on how to get mermista to warm up to her after the whole salineas thing, and what eventually does it is helping mermista take down the hit man who’s been stalking sea hawk for like three weeks.

mermista: “she’s like…really good at setting things on fire.” 

adora: “so i’m chaperoning all of your friend dates ok?” 

catra has a whole wall in her closet devoted to finding out netossa’s weakness because she won’t let the spray bottle incident go 

an entire princess alliance meeting was devoted to deciding whether catra should grow her hair out again and it got so ugly they had to throw the minutes out. 

afterwards, catra asks melog how hard it would be to create an illusion that would make her look bald for the next meeting

the only princess that catra is scared of is frosta and she will take that shit to her grave 

dwarven hair customs

Markiplier makes ___ is peak saioumota energy, don’t @ me

This was funnier in my head

You can see the exact moment where my wrist got tired

What appeals to me about whump: an incomplete list

please give me more confident shuichi oh also kokichis here too