A Thousand Live Bats Fluttered From The Walls And Ceiling While A Thousand More Swooped Over The Tables

Natalia Alianovna Romanova “I’ve got red in my ledger; I’d like to wipe it out.”

*I tried.

this is my graduation cap, professionally photographed for the county’s newspaper and put online for the public to view

An introverted high school girl from a working-class background and her wealthy, debate-team nemesis can’t agree on anything. But when they’re forced to work together to compete in the state championship, they might discover opposites can attract. Candy Jar premieres on Netflix April 27, 2018. Trailer here.

A concept

Brian wanting to paint something awesome for noah and asking jude for help because let’s be honest the boy can’t even draw a straight line. And Jude gets so excited !!!! She gathers pamphlets and art books and tries to teach him a billion techniques he can’t even begin to comprehend and he’s just! so! lost! He spends a week working on 5 different sketches and “ohmygod jude they’re terrible, i’m terrible, i don’t know how you two do it, i should have sticked to sports. Do you think he’d like a signed ball??? Or maybe a telescope??” Oscar just laughs because god damn of course picasso would fall in love with a guy who can’t tell the difference between the color yellow and the color mustard. In the end, he ends up giving Noah a simple pencil drawing of him and noah star gazing with smudges all over bc he’s left handed and the struggle is real. he writes a tiny ‘i love you’ in the corner of the paper with a smiley face bc he’s a fucking dork like that and he’s so embarrased when he gives it to Noah like srsly he can’t even look at him. But even though it’s kinda terrible and it looks like it was done by a 9-year-old in sweetwine standards, Noah absolutely loves it. And late at night he stares at it and tries to hold back tears because jesus he has spent so much of his time drawing and painting the world and the people around him and no one besides his sister had ever taken the time to draw something JUST FOR HIM. and of course he spends the rest of the week grinning ,feeling like he’s walking on clouds and god he’s honestly considering having it framed????? and he’s so so glad he isn’t a horse because he loves that rock-collecting baseball-playing boy so damn much and he doesn’t know where he would be without him.

“ I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, no. Thor’s in a cage. How did this happen?” Well, sometimes you have to get captured just to get a straight answer out of something. It’s a long story. Basically, I’m a bit of a hero. See, I’ve spent some time on Earth… for the record, I saved the planet a couple of times. Then I went searching through the cosmos for a couple of magic colorful Infinity Stone things… but didn’t find any. That’s when I came across a path of death, and destruction. Which led me all the way here to this cage… where I met you! ”              - Thor Ragnarok (2017) Dir. Taika Waititi

Sometimes it’s the very people who no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine.

The Imitation Game (2014), dir. Morten Tyldum

boys as music

serenade: always knows what to say. likes to read. curly hair. an aversion to mushrooms. “do no harm, but take no shit.”

harmony: soft smiles that crinkle at the corners of their eyes. dimples. holds hands with fingers interlaced. carries cough drops. never hesitant to show affection.

concerto: walks around with a guitar. charismatic in the most earnest way possible. cuffed jeans. doesn’t use a pencil pouch.

waltz: leaders. always get the final say. “fake it till you make it.” knit sweaters, scuffed converse, and black pens. hates black coffee. walks into class forty minutes late and convinces the teacher they were on time.

staccato: raised eyebrows and sharp wits. terrified of how deeply they feel. long sleeve shirts and dark smudges beneath their eyes. ink stained hands and cardigans.

crescendo: willing to work for what they want. intense personality. wears glasses and fun socks. generally closed off but completely trusting of the people they open up to.

I read on an aesthetic post once, "it's pursuing science but desiring art"

I’m required to keep a journal for my honors class. It’s a nice little break from my engineering studies to do a little art. 

a graduating senior's letter to freshman

tomorrow is my last day of high school. i guess it’s always been a tradition to give advice to freshman. when i try to think of just one solid line of advice, something that some scared 14 year old will hold onto for dear life until they are in my shoes in four years, it’s as if i’ve hopped on to a train that’s departing and i am screaming goodbye at the one’s i’m leaving behind. not once have i given someone a worthy goodbye. it always comes out in jumbled warnings and memories and wishes. but as my final day of high school lays ahead of me, i find myself on that train. i want to tell you to watch out for deadlines, and take more photos than you think you’ll need, and try new things even if you think you won’t like them. i’d tell you not to procrastinate, but in truth i just want you to learn to procrastinate well. don’t wait until the very last minute and end up turning in tear stained essays the morning following the night you spent rid with anxiety and feelings of worthlessness. turn in essays you write after you ditched studying to go driving around with your friends, essays that are filled with passion and too much conviction. always remember that what you get out of life is what you put into it. do not spend each day wishing for the next. you have to be there, so you might as well want to. i wish for you to love people with everything you’ve got, and then let them break you into a million tiny pieces, just so you know what it’s like. i wish for you to put up walls higher than the wall of china, and watch as one person single handedly breaks them down with just a few words. embrace every single thing that comes your way in the next four years, good and bad. embrace the positive and the negative, because you will learn from both. accept that the next four years are the only years when you will be surrounded by hundreds of people who are studying the same things as you, dealing with the same types of stress, are as much as they may hide it, are looking for support the same way you are. be that support for people. let other people be that support for you. and most importantly, be hungry. be hungry for growth, and success, and passion, and knowledge. remember that you are in no way required to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago. people say that high school is the time for finding yourself, but somehow i managed to lose myself more every day. cherish that, let yourself be constantly growing and constantly changing. realize that you will never find yourself and be happy with that thought, because to find yourself would mean that you had become stagnant. there are parts of your experience that are going to make you feel so numb, and you will settle with being stagnant and you will settle with feeling betrayed by your peers or your family or yourself. those times will come, but those times will also pass, and they are not worth letting the world break you. do not let the world make you hard, because you are beautiful and young and full of potential that you may or may not see right now. realize your own strengths, and do not dwell on the strengths of others. you are unique, you are important, and no matter what anyone tells you, the world needs you. 

these four years are short, so make it count.