Be My Guest!

Sunrise on The Reaping thoughts ( tried to not spoil anything)

Well, I read it in 6 hours, give or take! 

It was really gripping, the characters were all really distinct and relatable in some way. Some of them were really surprising and there were some neat parallels to other Games and characters in them.

So much bird, flower and snake imagery, it was a bit much at times.

Haymitch’s Reaping ceremony was brutal, not at all what I expected, but very fitting for his character. 

All the nods to other characters throughout the series was fun, though maybe a little overdone.

I liked the full-circle aspect of the plot and the character connections.

The mentor situation played out in the opposite way that I thought it would, and I thought it was a bit unlikely/unrealistic, but maybe it was just because it was a Quarter Quell that it happened like it did.

It was interesting to see the evolution of the Games since TBOSAS, and I felt some of the events from that were mirrored/echoed in this book. 

I will elaborate more once more people have finished it and don’t want to avoid spoilers. 

But overall, it was a great read and I think it will make a fantastic film.

100 Reasons NOT To Kill Yourself

1. We would miss you. 2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you. 3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow. 4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing. 5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there. 6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself. 7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise. 8. You are amazing. 9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better. 10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead. 11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive. 12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die. 13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about. 14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me. 15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born. 16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died? 17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect. 18. Think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again… 19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day 20. Listening to incredibly loud music 21. Being alive is just really good. 22. Not being alive is really bad. 23. Finding your soulmate. 24. Red pandas 25. Going to diners at three in the morning. 26. Really soft pillows. 27. Eating pizza in New York City. 28. Proving people wrong with your success. 29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life. 30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can. 31. Being able to help other people. 32. Bonfires. 33. Sitting on rooftops. 34. Seeing every single country in the world. 35. Going on roadtrips. 36. You might win the lottery someday. 37. Listening to music on a record player. 38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower. 39. Taking really cool pictures. 40. Literally meeting thousands of new people. 41. Hearing crazy stories. 42. Telling crazy stories. 43. Eating ice cream on a hot day. 44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know. 45. Travelling to another planet someday. 46. Having an underwater house. 47. Randomly running into your hero on the street. 48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel. 49. Trampolines. 50. Think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again. 51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke, 52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more. 53. People do care. 54. Treehouses 55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse 55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees 56. I don’t even know you and I love you. 57. I don’t even know you and I care about you. 58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness! 59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor. 60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS! 61. Starbucks. 62. Hugs. 63. Stargazing. 64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is. 65. You’ve changed somebody’s life. 66. Now you could change the world. 67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you. 68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you. 69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life. 70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things. 71. Making snow angels. 72. Making snowmen. 73. Snowball fights. 74. Life is what you make of it. 75. Everybody has a talent. 76. Laughing until you cry. 77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy. 78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist. 79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down 80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive. 81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero. 82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections. 83. One day your smile will be real. 84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day. 85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds. 86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends. 87. Eating crazy food. 88. Staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one. 89. Sleeping in all day. 90. Creating something you’re proud of. 91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit 92. Being able to meet your Internet friends. 93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate 94. Sherlock season three. 95. Cuddling under the stars. 96. Being stupid in public because you just can. 97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile? 98. being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years 99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this. 100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen

IF that isn’t enough:

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696 Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433 LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743 Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438 Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673 Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272 Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000 Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253 Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453 UK Helplines: Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111 Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600 Drinkline: 0800 9178282 Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614 India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669 Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7 suicide hotlines; Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430 Australia: 13-11-14 Austria: 01-713-3374 Barbados: 429-9999 Belgium: 106 Botswana: 391-1270 Brazil: 21-233-9191 China: 852-2382-0000 (Hong Kong: 2389-2222) Costa Rica: 606-253-5439 Croatia: 01-4833-888 Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67 Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908 Denmark: 70-201-201 Egypt: 762-1602 Estonia: 6-558-088 Finland: 040-5032199 France: 01-45-39-4000 Germany: 0800-181-0721 Greece: 1018 Guatemala: 502-234-1239 Holland: 0900-0767 Honduras: 504-237-3623 Hungary: 06-80-820-111 Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90 Ireland: 1800-247-100 Israel: 09-8892333 Italy: 06-705-4444 Japan: 3-5286-9090 Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292 Malaysia: 03-756-8144 (Singapore: 1-800-221-4444) Mexico: 525-510-2550 Netherlands: 0900-0767 New Zealand: 4-473-9739 New Guinea: 675-326-0011 Nicaragua: 505-268-6171 Norway: 47-815-33-300 Philippines: 02-896-9191 Poland: 52-70-000 Portugal: 239-72-10-10 Russia: 8-20-222-82-10 Serbia: 21-6623-393 Spain: 91-459-00-50 South Africa: 0861-322-322 South Korea: 2-715-8600 Sweden: 031-711-2400 Switzerland: 143 Taiwan: 0800-788-995 Thailand: 02-249-9977 Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800 Ukraine: 0487-327715 Uruguay: 095 73 8483 You will be missing out on every single wonderful thing yet to happen to you.

Criminal Minds rewatch Rossi grrrr

Currently rewatching Season 4, which is much worse than I remember it being, as there are so many sup-par episodes. The finale, however, is epic, I know that for sure!

Anyway, I am struck by how empathetic and kind Rossi is to Jordan Todd, who is having serious self-doubt about the job, and he tells her she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to do, asks after her mental/emotional wellbeing and gives her some pretty sound advice. As far as I can tell, they aren’t particularly close and haven’t known eachother that long.

So why oh why is Rossi such an insensitive jerk to Hotch when he blames himself for the Foyet bus situation? This is someone he has known for years and considers a friend, so how can he be so callous and unfeeling, basically just telling Aaron to snap out of it? It just makes me angry!

Maybe it was just writers not talking to eachother or reading the other person’s work and maybe filming episodes out of order, or actors having input/improvising, but ugh!

Her smug/cat got the cream expression in the last picture is everything! I love super smart Penelope, they sometimes dumbed her down as she doesn’t know the word for vomit-causing ( emetic) or something like that ( haemo-somthing and it being blood-related, maybe?)  in one episode. I love that she is intelligent, really fashionable/dresses super well, is really good at her job, is nerdy and plus-sized! One of my favourite characters on TV ever!

bau’s resident genius, spencer reid penelope garcia.

Kathleen is definitely not Daddy’s girl from Seasons 6-10, as she gets into lots of trouble and arguments with her dad, because of her undiagnosed bi-polar.

I think we see enough of Elliot as a pretty good dad in the early Seasons. In Season 1, we see him take Dickie to the park and make him fly across the monkey bars ( the episode with the falsely-accused paedophile) he reads Twas The Night before Christmas to the twins in Nocturne (and they climb all over him, giving him hugs and kisses), in Wanderlust, he does Lizzie’s hair ( so probably did Kathleen’s and Maureen’s too), then he kisses them all goodbye and tells them he loves them when he is called into work, he plays soccer with Kathleen, he apologises to Maureen when he comes down too hard on her in Sophomore Jinx and Chat Room… He and Maureen butt heads a little in later Seasons, but they have quite a sweet, teasing relationship based on what we see in the Season 2 premiere. His relationship with Dickie is very warm and affectionate until Turmoil in Season 11. Dickie plays a game with him in S5 Home, accuses his dad of cheating and he playfully growls at him, chases him and catches him which shows how playful their relationship is, Dickie spends a few days with him in S6 Game, and in S 10, Lunacy, their closeness is very nicely portrayed too. In S 6, Contagious, they all come to the precinct to celebrate their dad’s birthday, he gives them all hugs and kisses. There’s an episode in S6 where Dickie has appendicitis and Elliot stays with him the whole time ( he knows his son ate lots of ice cream and watched Jackass on repeat, so must have been there to witness it) which also shows his dedication and love for his son. I wish we’d seen and heard more of Lizzie, there was certainly potential there. Maybe an episode with her theatre teacher being accused of having a relationship with another student, her dad investigates and thinks the guy is guilty, but Lizzie thinks he is innocent, so they disagree over that. Or she fake dates a gay guy on the cast as his parents are homophobic and he can’t come out to them but has to her, Elliot can tell there is something not quite right about the relationship and fears the guy is pressuring her/abusing her in some way…

I like how Elliot has very different relationships with all his children, but I always felt the show did a good job showing that he loved them and they loved him.

Did Elliot work when he was in Italy with Kathy and Eli? He expresses that he’d love to be a stay at home dad in at least one episode, so I thought Kathy would work in Rome and he would do the childcare/house chores/school pick-up/take Eli to playdates, the park and his activities… We know he did the day shift with Maureen when she was a baby/toddler , and studied/worked at night, while Kathy had a day job and then did the night shift. So Elliot did grocery runs, park trips, playgroups, stories, meals etc with Maureen, so had lots of time with her, which probably made them extremely close. I definitely had her down as a Daddy’s girl when she was younger, as in S1, she’s pushing him away/off his pedestal a bit. There are entire Seasons with no mentions or appearances from the kids ( notably 4 and 7), which I always thought was a shame. Maybe the kids thought it would have be3n better/easier if their dad died, but I can’t imagine any of them actually saying that to his face. I think they are more worried about losing him after Kathy dies, to be honest, especially Eli.

it’s almost a pity that the shows favour kathleen (daddy’s girl) and eli (got the good childhood) when it comes to elliot’s kids cause in any other universe oc s1 would have had a scene where one of the other three tell elliot point blank that they wish he’d died in place of kathy. and they’d be right.

Hotch’s soft little “oh” when Garcia hugs him in Route 66 sends me— they’re both so soft and that is so incredibly mushy and loving and then “wild horses, sir” juST AHH

Law and Order OC Seasons 1 and 2 thoughts

I have just watched the first two seasons of  SVU OC, as I wanted to see the episode when Eli runs away. 

Unfortunately I can only watch the episodes in French, so have to put up with the dubbing, which is not the worst but it could be a lot better.

I don’t really follow the actual crimes part, I mainly watch for the Stabler family interactions, dynamics and development.

 I like Stabler’s new team. Ayanna is great, Jet is super cool ( she seems to be on the autistic spectrum, as she sometimes takes things literally, isn’t very comfortable with touch/affection and goes into hyper focus mode when it comes to work). I love the bond she has with Stabler, he’s very fatherly and protective of her. There’s an episode when he goes to pick Eli up from school and he gives him a fistbump when he tells him he’s made the soccer team, then, either before or after, Jet helps him out with some tech issue or finds out some useful info through cyber digging, and he does the same to her. There’s also a sweet moment when he is talking to Ayanna about protecting his family as they are at risk, and she just sidles over silently and puts her arms around him. Elliot is surprised but pats/rubs her arm in response, then they talk about her fears and he reassures her. 

It reminded me a bit of the Season 1 episode, Nocturne, where he is reading to Lizzie and Dickie, who are about 7. They are climbing all over him and giving him hugs and kisses, and he’s just so patient with them, answering their questions about why it can’t be Christmas every day and being used as a human climbing frame.

He’s definitely more relaxed as a dad with Eli, though he is trying to be a mother and a father to him. He’s much more patient with teen Eli than he was with  Maureen, Dickie and Kathleen when they were teens. He listens before jumping to conclusions when he finds Eli in New Jersey, whereas with the other three, he let his fear and protective side take over, which manifested in anger. 

Like in Swing, Olivia is there to help, which is a neat parallel, and I only just realised that Stabler must be worried that Eli could be bipolar too and that’s why he’s run away because he is in a manic state. 

I really like how he shows his affection for Eli in small ways, like he’ll fix his son’s collar or give him a pat on the shoulder, when he’d really like to hug his son but doesn’t want to demand a hug. He can also be quite playful with him, as after giving him a hug, they tease each other affectionately and Elliot pushes at his face with his hand. 

I also think it’s normal that Eli wants to know more about his grandparents/his roots, as the only grandparent he knows is Bernie, and even then, he doesn’t know her extremely well. Having just lost his mum, he’s trying to figure out who he is, where he is from and where he is going, with lots of changes going on around him, having moved to a new country, a new home, a new school and school system, having to make new friends and also going from having a dad who was around a lot to one who is absent a lot. Eli is also trying to look after Elliot, which he should not be having to do, but he won’t leave to stay with one of his sisters as he doesn’t want to lose his dad as well. 

In Season 6, when Kathy leaves Elliot, she goes to stay with her mom, so we can assume her dad is not in the picture, and, presumably being Catholic too, he’s probably dead, rather than divorced from Kathy’s mum.

Elliot is still super closed off about his past and his relationship with his father, and his feelings are intensified as he investigates the story behind his father’s bravery medal.

Finding out he really did want to be an architect ( he tells Frank about it when they are on a stake-out) but his father knocked the idea out of his head ( probably literally as well as verbally) broke my heart. 

In Season 10, Swing, he outright denies Bernie’s claim that that is what he wanted to be, claiming he’s always wanted to be a cop. 

It shows that Bernie really understood him, she tried to encourage him as best she could and clearly loves him very much. 

They are so much closer in OC, which is lovely to see. They even share a laugh, when she asks him if he’s a phone salesman now as he has a few phones for all the different undercover jobs he’s doing, and he says no, he stole them. They both sarcastically “ha ha” at the other person’s quip, but it is a moment full of affection and understanding.

They also start talking properly, which is a very good thing, and Elliot’s love for his mom and family are very touching. 

The episode where Elliot gets the reels of the recordings of his childhood and watches them with Bernie at the end made me cry, and has lodged itself in my brain. While it was lovely to see Elliot have some sweet moments with his dad, it’s heartbreaking that they couldn’t always have had that, and there must always have been that fear that he’d flip and become physically abusive, like he did in the diorama incident referenced in Season 7 that Elliot tells Dr Hendricks about. Hearing about that left me in tears. Destroying your kid’s project in a fit of rage because they changed one minute detail is just awful, but then beating them for crying too is just unforgivable! 

The dinner scene when Bernie tells Eli about Joe boxing Elliot’s ears, slapping him upside the head and putting soap in his mouth for attitude/disrespect leave Eli absolutely stunned, like he’s seen, heard or read about such punishments in books or films but didn’t think actually happened in real life, as Elliot has never physically disciplined any of his kids like that, and was probably more relaxed/lenient with Eli than he was with the other four children. The only time he comes somewhat close to getting physically aggressive with one of his children is with Dickie in Turmoil ( Season 11), when Stabler asks him if he’s lost his mind and Dickie sasses back that he wouldn’t be the first Stabler to do so, referencing both Bernie and Kathleen’s manic episodes. Elliot shoves Dickie up against the wall, but he quickly lets go and holds then pats or squeezes his shoulder, as if he wants to pull his son in for a hug. 

I like seeing how hard Elliot has worked on not being like his father was, trying so hard to give his children a home life that is predictable and safe, with  boundaries, consistency, encouragement ( when Maureen wants to get into Columbia and is disappointed by a B+, he is so supportive of her and says she’s done/doing great) and he tells his kids he is proud of them and that he loves them regularly. 

His difficulties with technology are very endearing, he usually has to ask Jet for a non technical translation, and his kids have been helping him since Season 1 with computer/phone issues, with Maureen in Season 1 bypassing the parental security lock on the computer and, in Season 8 he mentions that his kids had to help him put the numbers he wanted on speed dial. 

One annoying thing about the show is how the flashbacks at the start of the episode sometimes show an SVU scene, which I haven’t seen, like Kathy’s funeral, for example. It was cool to see Carisi in an episode though, and Olivia is a pretty regular recurring character too. 

Seeing Stabler’s complicated relationship with Liv is so interesting.

Because I am watching in French, there is no ambiguity about who he is saying “I love you” to during the intervention scene, as he uses the singular/informal/friendly you form, then, 20-something seconds later, he says “I love all of you”, using the plural you form this time. 

It was so interesting to see Eli try first, then Kathleen ( the kids he is closest to and the ones he talks to/confides in the most), but they both fail, so Olivia steps in. She actually stands in front of the children, as if to protect them from Elliot’s potentially angry outburst.

Her chat at the diner with Kathleen was really moving, it reminded me of when Liv talks to Bernie in Swing.

I’m looking forward to watching the next three seasons to see how everything plays out. 

please put in the tags how many siblings you have and whether you’re a competitive person or not it’s for science

More thoughts on SVU Season 17

I have to give kudos/props to the casting team who have been doing a stellar job from the start! The actors playing Stabler’s kids all looked like a blend of Chris Meloni and Isabelle Gillies, especially when they were younger. They also looked like they were all siblings! The only one who doesn’t really work is teen/older Eli! 

The actresses playing Amanda’s mum and sister are perfectly cast, and the actor playing Mike Dodds looks like a young Peter Gallagher, as they have a really similar nose and jawline, alongside the blue eyes and dark hair. 

Barba’s  mother and grandmother also were well cast and looked like they could be his relatives. Hearing him being called Rafi was v odd, as he is so formal and serious at work. 

Just watched the one with the big Christian family who have a TV show, and thank goodness Stabler wasn’t there as he’d have had an aneurysm over the purity pledges, that’s a step too far even for him.  They made me want to throw up and my suspicions immediately fell on the person who did it, for once!

Carisi looking after all the kids was adorable, he did brilliantly with them. Someone make that man a dad, stat! I think even Stabler would have struggled with that many kids all at once. 

I also love that his faith is super important to him, but the main thing I get from him is that he thinks most people are fundamentally good and deserve to be protected from the few that aren’t. Stabler was definitely pushier/more vocal about being Catholic and the beliefs that went along with that, Carisi is much gentler in his approach. He’s just a very good man and I adore him!

Hope this helps someone and they can get out of there as soon as possible.

hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak