I'm Not A Tragic Character, I'm A Genuine Human Being I'm Not A Tragic Character, I'm A Genuine Human

I kind of hate the internet so much sometimes, like I continue to try and look for other people’s experiences that resonate with me (specifically with body dysmorphic disorder right now) and literally nothing. Just nothing. Everyone who i try to see if they have a relating experience on maybe Reddit or quora all happen to be conventionally attractive and just in a bad state of mind. What about me? I’m fat, black, and ugly. People don’t find me attractive. I don’t find myself attractive. So now I’m here trying to figure out if it actually counts as body dysmorphia because what the hell is this.

It’s always me trying to get better for a few days before I fall back down and it slaps me in the face ten fold for the next three months.

Lofi Garnet

It's like we all collectively forgot as a society that friendship and just connection in general takes effort. Even if you meet someone you immediately click with, it takes hanging out about 20 times (!) to become friends. And guess what, some of those 20 meetings might be awkward or unimpressive.

We all want to reap the benefits (having a friend circle, having a partner, getting married) without doing the work (going to events, interacting with people, learning to handle conflict maturely, dating). Myself included. If I could, I'd never leave the house or go on another mediocre date again... except, that's part of the process.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the cure to the loneliness epidemic is touching some grass and building tolerance for tedious in-person interactions.

It's okay to 'grieve' things that aren't just death. I've allowed myself to grieve a friendship ending, a situationship, losing something important to me, etc. It's okay to give yourself time to process the loss of something. Grief looks different for everyone, try to find a way that works for you to help make it easier for you.

i hate that kind of sadness where your chest physically hurts

this is girlhood. ethiopian skater girls. source