Della, To Dewey: My Son.

Jason: I love that babies ball their hands up into fists all the time.

Jason: Mar'i, you can't even sit up yet, who are you gonna fight? I support it completely, but who are you going after? Who's trying you??

EVERYONE DRINK WATER RIGHT NOW AND REBLOG TO KEEP THE HYDRATION GANG CHAIN GOING

Dewey: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.

Gosalyn : ...what happened?

Dewey: I made a VERY bad mistake.

Dewey: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!

Violet: Mind your language!

Dewey: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Violet:

Dewey: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

well…. if ladybug can summon ladybugs to create…. does that mean chat can summon cats to destroy….

Has anyone animated Bill and Ford using the song Spanish or vanish, like Ford is trying to stop the portal project while Bill is convincing him to continue.

another bunch of incorrect ducktales quotes

Gosalyn: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Dewey: This is a lie.

Dewey: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Dewey: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

=================================

Louie: Huey said its my turn with the brain cell.

Dewey: Square up.

=================================

Honkers: And what do I get out of this?

Gosalyn : I will give you a dollar.

Honkers: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!

Gosalyn : How bout two dollars?

Honkers: You got yourself a deal.

=================================

Gosalyn : I'm very scary.

Drake: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.

Gosalyn : Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.

Drake: And small.

Gosalyn :

Gosalyn : ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

=================================

Lena: I’m here for the cult stuff.

Honkers: How did you find us?

Lena: I saw your ad on craigslist.

=================================

May, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

June: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later*

June: Here you go.

May:

June:

Dewey: Why am I here?

=================================

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

Boyd: Would never stab anyone.

May: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Dewey: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Webby: Would stab without warning.

Gosalyn : Would stab as a warning.

=================================

Gosalyn : There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Dewey way.

Honkers: Isn't that the wrong way?

Gosalyn : Yes, but it's faster.

=================================

Dewey: Are you reading fan fiction?

Honkers, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No.

Dewey: Oh, is it on AO3?

Honkers: This is CNN.

=================================

Lena: What are you in the mood for?

Webby: World domination.

Lena: That's a bit ambitious.

Webby: You are my world.

Lena: Aww...

Webby:

Lena:

Webby:

Lena: OH.

=================================Violet: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.

May: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.

Violet: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?

June: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

=================================

Doofus: Count me in!

Violet: Who the hell are you?! Doofus: Oh, you know my sibling! They worked at Wendy's.

Violet: Oh yeah, Boyd! How are they doing?

Doofus: Oh yeah, not too good. They've been dead for the past month.

Dewey: What the hell, they didn't tell us!

=================================

Huey, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette.

June: But Huey, we don't smoke.

Huey: Cut the crap, June. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

Huey: *points at Dewey* One! *points at Louie* Two! *points at Webby* Three! *points at Gosalyn * Four! *points at June* Five!

Huey: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers!

Gosalyn : *puts a cigarrette in Huey's hand*

Huey: Thank you. ...Light? The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

=================================

Doofus: There are three chairs and five kids. What do you do?

Webby: Get two more chairs.

Dewey: Cut each chair in half to make six.

Violet: Make them FIGHT for their seats!

Gosalyn : I would never be near children.

Lena: Get rid of two kids.

=================================Webby: *yawns*

Lena: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Webby: Then you must be exhuasted.

May: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

=================================

Lena: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."

Webby: I saw you.

Lena: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of June in a turkey costume.

=================================

Lena: How is spring not everyone’s favorite season? The trees are PINK, guys!

Gosalyn : Allergies are also a problem, y'know.

Lena: But pink.

May: And it's hot.

Lena: PINK! =================================

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Lena: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad... =================================

unraveling the mysteries it all started with the big bang

Huey, Dewey & Louie Production art (1999)

bunch of incorrect ducktales quotes

June, throwing their head into Doofus's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

Doofus, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

=================================

Huey: Your smile? It makes my day.

Violet: Your happiness? I live for that.

June: A room? Get one.

Dewey: Hotel? Trivago.

=================================

Doofus: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Dewey: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

May: Why were you microwaving a lemon??? Dewey: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.

Lena: Did you burn an orange too? How???

Dewey: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

=================================

Gosalyn : Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.

Violet: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue.

Gosalyn : Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

=================================

Louie: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!

Webby: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

Concept: magic school drama with one of those goofy house systems where the protagonist gets assigned to what is widely regarded as the boring house for boring people, and their central emotional conflict revolves around trying to prove they're Not So Ordinary After All™; eventually their efforts lead them to accidentally discover that the school is actually some sort of wildly unethical human experiment, and the reason their house is the boring one is that it's the control group.