“Yeah, Murder For Hire Is Surprisingly Affordable,” Says Neil.

maybe the best way to deal with impostor syndrome is actually to pivot to full-blown hubris 

do u guys think the universal translator sometimes has to add context for words that aren’t directly translatable. Like a human calls a vulcan a nerd and it comes out as smart (derogatory)

OK but The Vast has the most comedic potential out of any entity imo. Like other fears are like “uhhh my cousin got replaced” and “there’s Evil Mold in my fridge” or whatever but the vast could just say “one day I was on a trampoline with my brother and he just didn’t come down” and it’s perfectly in character and just works.

I wish I could write anything as quickly as tumblr collectively invented an entire film

I love the yearly spotify wrapped embarrassment we all go through.. to witness the self reflected back upon you is always a humiliating experience

holding space for the lyrics of the riko roast

I like to think that Nora based the whole ‘ravens being a massive front for the Yakuza’ on that one NHL team that did actually turn out to be a front for the Japanese mafia to launder money 💀

Most people when they find out about Andreil are quick to judge Neil's taste in men, but Jean, Aaron, and a few special agents in the FBI know the truth. It's really Andrew Minyards taste who people should be side eyeing.

Hey sorry your boyfriend got kidnapped by his mob boss dad. Yeah when he said thank you back there he meant thanks for everything you’ve done for him, that was his goodbye because he’s going to die. No yeah he was in love with you, that’s what all the looks meant. Anyway. He’ll think of you kissing him when he’s being tortured by his father’s people as an escape. No I totally get why you might want to burn the world until you find him. Yeah yeah maybe start with choking your teammate for answers. Sorry again.

gonna dox the pope