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Jason finds out what Bruce really thinks of him when Poison Ivy’s latest batch of pollen compels its victims to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. No, Dick, not quite truth serum. More like “spewing whatever’s on my mind right now” serum.

Bruce has just finished sharing the fact that he’s never tried Hot Cheetos yet desperately wants to, despite the shit Alfred would give him and the heartburn it would probably cause. He’s clicking and clacking away at the Batcomputer, trying to synthesize an antidote before he admits something more embarrassing than the time he made out with Oliver Queen in a broom closet at boarding school.

That’s when Jason has a bright idea that he’ll regret later.

“What do you really think of me?”

The response is instantaneous, given with no hesitation. “Baby. You’re my baby.”

Jason glares at the older man. He’s found a way around the pollen. Miserable fucking—

“Dick,” Jason snaps. “What do you think of Dick?”

“Acrobat baby.”

“Tim.”

“Sleepy genius baby.”

“Damian.”

“Youngest baby.”

“Duke.”

“Sunshine baby.”

This is getting him nowhere. Time to think outside the box.

“The clone boy,” Jason growls. “Kon or whatever.”

Bruce levels a flat look at his son. “Superman’s baby.”

“The little speedster fucker Tim hangs out with.”

“Fast baby.”

“Me.”

Bruce smiles warmly at him, and Jason curses internally when he sees none of the tells that usually indicate lies. “Bookworm baby.”

Jason curses again. This isn’t going how he thought it would, and now Bruce is looking at him the same way he does when Damian actually acts his age and falls asleep on the couch, face innocent and adorable. Fuck.

“Fuck you, I’m not a baby,” he grumbles. He could kick himself for not thinking of a cutting remark or a venomous barb, but Bruce is just staring like he wants nothing more than to wrap him up in his old Wonder Woman jammies and read him a bedtime story. Is this pollen making the old man sappy? Ugh.

“Move over,” Jason barks. He pushes Bruce out of the stationary chair in front of the Batcomputer. “Might as well help you with the damn antidote.”

this is the appropriate response to being told you're turning into your dad:

everyone take notes

hot priest resurrecting bobby nash reblog if you agree

I’m on my 3rd rewatch of John Carpenter’s The Thing and

“I ain’t going with Windows”

“FUCK YOU PALMER”

Will never not be funny

Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn't read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There's been multiple "I'm DB Cooper" death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today's money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons

Annual reblog of the liminal spacemas from instachaz

Supportive parent Bruce Wayne

Damian showing him all his artwork because he knows that he will get the brightest smile and a “That looks beautiful sweetheart” every time

Dick being so excited to bring his dad to his gymnastics show because he knows that Bruce will start crying every time he lands a trick, without fail, and that means the women that come to watch will have someone else to fuss over

Someone at WE mentioning they don’t trust Tim because of his age and Bruce immediately scheduling a company wide meeting so he can express just how exceptional his son is. Tim’s face is the most red it has ever been the entire time

Cass doesn’t even have to do anything, he is just always looking at her with a fond little smile and on the verge of tears but sometimes, when she wants a little more then normal, she will take one of Jason’s books and read as much as she can aloud. That man absolutely loses it and hugs her as tight as he can while sobbing about how far his baby has come

Jason acts like he could care less about Bruce’s support, but the first time he overhears Bruce talking about him at a gala, telling some rich idiot who was questioning business decisions that Jason is the most competent man he has ever known and would trust him with not only the WE weapons department but his life, Jason pointedly does not look at Dick, who has a shit eating grin on his face, and walks as fast as he can to the bathroom

The best part is that Bruce doesnt even have to try he is just genuinely that proud of them

Ive been laughing at this screen rant headline for like a minute bc if you’ve read the robin lives series you know the line "finally gets the ending he deserves" isn't a compliment and then it ends with "hardcore fans thought they'd never see" Which very much reads as "You thought jasons characterization in the comics couldn't get any worse think again dipshit we've reached whole new levels of bullshit youd never even dream we'd reach"

The response to this Ben Shapiro video.

Conservatives are waking up to the grift.