Haha Oh Boy I Can't Wait To Flesh Out My Character's Backstory Man I Love Elder Scrolls Lore-

Today’s Trap of the Day is Ashley Wolfe (Original character by werewolf-cuddles)

Trainer Cloud is waiting for an ass kicking

Ejddheidj trainersona babbbeyyyyyyy, fucking love pokemon and I love these assholes in particular, so here ya go, a family portrait uwu

My hand hurts

So, Unus and Annus are reaching the last hour of existence, and they said that if we want, we could write our last words to them and our aspirations, and.... I wanna do it

I'm taking this stupidly seriously but this, this channel became important to me, it made me expand my thoughts on what I thought death was to me and what my life is to me

But here we go

I haven't been here for the beginning, I didnt watch every video and I never bought merch, but regardless this channel and these videos worked there way into my thoughts, and this livestream made me stupid sentimental. My internet currently is shitting itself and I might not see the end properly, but that's ok.

Death to me, is the end

That's it, I dont know if there is an after and I dont care, I dont fear the emotions and pain I might feel facing my demise but I do fear one thing. I fear of what my death will do to the world i leave behind.

Will it change? Will it mourn? Will it rejoice??? Or will absolutely nothing happen, and time keeps moving forward as it does. More importantly however, how would the people I love remember me? After death I will be gone and over, there wont be anything left of me besides the legacy I have left and the memory people hold of me, so I cant help but think of the only thing I CAN think of involving my demise. But this is egotistical of me is it not? Death is normal, and I am not special for thinking this way, I am going to die and so will you guys. But in all honesty I cannot think of any other way to perceive my death, I cannot for the life of me think of anything else to say about it.

That's also ok, I'm alive

I'll never understand my death as long as I live.

But I obsess so much, about what will happen after I die, but I try not to think about what will happen as I continue to live.

I am young, and I am childish, I am naive and I am hopeful.

I only really truly desire one thing in my life more than anything, even if it may change over time.

I want to make a story I love, and characters whom can share my thoughts and feelings, in their own unique experiences, and become their own people from them as well. I want to create art that would do them justice and I want to love it so, so, so much

I know I dont draw as much as want, I should not force myself to per say, but I find it difficult to find motive to.

At this moment that is my only goal in my life, I just want to love what I create

I will one day

Even if I may die before I create such a story, I will love my art, I do love it now

I love it because I CREATED it

I made it, I birthed something simply because I wanted to, because its fun

And I really, really wish I could see that everyday.

But I do not, and that's ok, that's ok

Its ok

This channel taught me to, learn what it is that I value about my life and my death, and because I overthink MANY things this was not always a good thing lol

It will die soon, and that's ok

But that does not mean I will not feel, grief

No matter how much or little that grief may be.

So what shall I do? When it does? When it dies 20 minutes from now as I'm writing this?

Well I'll cry

I'll cry, and cry and cry

Because it is what I can do

.

I don't know what my life will be like, I cant find the words to describe what I think of it as, as of writing this at least.

But

But I

I want to live

I AM living

I AM ALIVE

and I'm so glad that I am, I used to think living was a burden, I used to hate that fact

But I'm still here, I'm still breathing and I'm so

I'm so relieved, that I chose to stay alive.

And I hope that those who are reading this feel that too, maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon.

Soon.

Because it is, such an amazing thing to be here, with you, and with my family and friends, and with strangers I'll never meet

..

This has gone in a while

This is clearly important to me so I wanted to be transparent in my feelings. I dont know how u all will react to this and I dont know if you will care.

But that's okay, you dont need to take anything from this.

Well

Except for one thing.

Momento Mori, Remember Death

Remember Life

Unus Annus

Thank you so much for reading my rambles about my existence, thank you so much

I'm glad you are alive reading this as well

I'm glad we exist :)

THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG HOLY SHIT, mainly because 1) art rut, and 2) legs are inherently evil, anywho this is a character ref for Kaoru Tachibana! My MC that I’m planning to play as for @lemonade-if!! This one is a bit long in terms of notes so I’ll put it under a read more.

Another part that made me prolong this was that I didn’t quite know what the uniform for Mori looked like, so I decided at the end to say fuck it and go off of what I had to ref and eyeballed the colors a bit so that it’s a bit more cohesive, so idk how accurate it is but hopefully!!!! Accurate enough where I won’t have to do it again!!!!

Admittedly his character isn’t really set in stone, I have an IDEA on what I want for him buuuttt, I’m gonna have to wait till the demo comes out to solidify his character more. Due to this I literally have no idea what the character dynamics will be like with him honestly, he’s an oddball, BUUUUTT I will say that due to the existence of his childhood friends his carefully made self isolation is immediately in jeopardy, so he’s terrified and depending on how much they (Hikaru) want him back in the group after all these years he honestly should be. As seen below the clothing refs

Oh, and I tried my hand on making a spray paint-like brush to make graffiti art because that’s his art form, whether or not THATS his artstyle is something I’m thinking about, but I do want him to have a funky and loud kinda style

Finally, I DO have some song recs that remind me of him, or at least the idea of him, which I will state below :)

Dramaturgy - Eve

Law-Evading Space Rock - Neru

Matoryoshka - Hachi

Last two aesthetically speaking definitely fit his vibe, along with the lyrics and music itself of course, Dramaturgy also fits his shtick but more stylistically due to the lack of color. However Dramaturgy is the song I relate to him the most out of the three but I figured lumping them together might give a good idea on who he is a little.

Still no art, ya know the thing u guys r here for, BUUUT I did make myself in picrew

So yeah das me, unfortunately real life is not a cartoon so irl I look less cooler u-u

Anywayyy heres the link if yall want it! The picrew babyyy

AHDGEIFHI H I HI- got tagged!!!!! In a thing!!!!!!! By both @rkgk-arts and @itsbluesaint!!!!!!! Wild!!!!!!!!!!

So *ahem* rules are Tag 9 People you would like to get to know or Talk with more, so uh yeah! Let's get down to the nitty gritty of post! I'll put it under a read more cuz I talk a lot and if some of yall ain't interested, I'll spare u the scroll.

Last Book Read:

I uh, can't really remember which book I picked up last, the name at least. SO instead I'll you a book I last read to the fullest! Which I believe to be Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey Mcquiston.

A cheesy one definitely, I mainly picked it up cuz I had some... heavy hitters in my library and I wanted to just have a chill one I can read, though I was definitely back and forth on it cuz book reviews are literally the most polarizing things ever holy shit. As for the book itself, I thought it was ok, it did its job as a chill read and I was entertained! Nothing in particular to write home about, except maybe the premise, and the way the author handled that concept was a bold ass move. So overall, 4.5/10 I don't feel anything in particular for it but I appreciate what it did regardless.

Last Movie Seen:

So uhhhh.... last one I watched in full was Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness... and I didn't like it? Please don't kill me but, I just think it kinda flopped narrative wise, and i had some problems with the choices the writers made in regards to America and a liiiiil bit Wanda, and the Illuminati... yeah that one was a weird one. It kinda felt like they were biting off more then they could chew in terms of all the ideas they had for the movie, felt unorganized, especially when they were forced to cut some of those ideas short in order to pad for time. So a 3/10 for me, the theater I watched it in had their volume fucking blasted, so when that sound guy opened his mouth... not fun.

Last Song Heard:

This one is nice n short! Cast Me a Spell by Mili and Promise of Wizard. Funky existential magic song, what can I say? 7/10

Now onto the TAGGING part... here we go!

@allieebobo ..... I know no one else I'd like to speak to more

I could just tag random people but given the rules that doesn't sit right with so I'll uh, just end it here

Thank u for tagging me!!!!! Sorry if this was a bit anticlimactic

Okay… so like, I found @lyragames to be released interactive novel, and uhh, I haven’t stopped thinking about it since, at all Bro I didn’t think I needed this till I saw it but I’m hyped as SHIT it looks so interesting right nowww Anyway I don’t have too much on this guy but his name is Otto, and he a pretty boy perfect beauty that kinda thing. Probably secretly insecure and it gets worse when he turns into a fucking goose lol the details however I will have to work on These are rough design notes but I like it so far :)

Ann and Shiho are coming back soon yall

I've noticed their a bit of a favorite

😔✊🏽

Welp I forgot I fucking rebloged some of my old stuff from my old art account so nevermind but STILL

hellooo!!! I'm popping in to firstly apologize for all the sudden reblogs!! I'm sorry if it's annoying xdhfjzhgjhkf but also here to express how much I adore your art and I am so happy I decided to go through Golden Rose fanart and stumbled across your (absolutely gorgeous) mc! <333 Your art is very pretty and your style is so expressive and soft in a way I can't hope to describe; just know it's so so pretty!! That's all, have a wonderful day and I look forward to seeing what else you post!

AAAAAAHH ok I'll admit I got a bit of a jumpscare from the sheer amount of reblogs but THANK YOU SO MUCHH

By all means I'm very flattered you like my art so much, it's a bit hard to appreciate my own art since I take it for granted most of the time so, seeing someone else love it so much brings a bit of a different perspective to that matter so, thank you for that too!

I hope whatever I post next within this century will be worth the wait for ya