Reblog If You Are ASEXUAL, Support ASEXUAL PEOPLE, Or SECRETLY A DRAGON IN HUMAN FORM

Dash: I've petitioned to make recycling bins specifically for batarangs. Stop leaving them everywhere. They're a goddamn hazard.

Short DPXDC Prompts #870

Dash works in construction in Gotham City. If he ever manages to talk to a bat, he has words about their collateral damage habits.

Last Song Listened To: Be a Man from Mulan

Currently Reading: Fanfic

Currently Watching: Is It Cake? on Netflix

Current Obsession: Uchiha Shisui

Uhhh, @hermesserpent-stuff ! Hope you don't mind it.

Got tagged by @jayayayayayayayayayayayayayayaya !

Last song listened to: The Game of Life cover (Vocaloid)

Currently reading: Wings of Fire graphic novel #1-3

Currently watching: Zom 100

Current obsession: Pikmin 4! Been playing the series since I was a wee child

Tag you're it!

@aroacebutterfly @lirabuswavi

whoever decided to turn daisy bell into a spooky dookie creepypasta song is fucking evil. that computer was brave enough to sing us a delightful little song and you do THIS to him? thats hatsune mikus grandpa dude. fuck you

The divine right of kings but it's a curse

Someone: Are you contemplating my murder?

Me: Of course not!

Someone: Oh phew, that's a relief.

Me: I don't contemplate, I plot.

100000 likes!

Huh. Whoops?

I don’t WANT a career. I want to cuddle and sleep and eat and read and create and love and be loved.

A bold reporter (hi Lois) asks Batman, because half is shtick is that he's full human. Batman stares at them, and tells them, "You mess with any member of my family? We all come together, united against one ememy. And now you're going to see what happens when we all have a common denominator,"

Batman walks away, and the government has +2 to their panic level. The Robins had all hacked the Pentagon for FUN, oh god(s) what are they going to do? Batman let the feral ones off their child leashes for this, oh gods they're going to all have fates worse than death.

Duke, meanwhile, is greatly enjoying the mew family bonding activity! Going to protests, in and out of uniform, booing government agents, it's great! He loves his family.

So apparently Danny is a member of the Legion of Doom. No he had not realized this until recently. He had simply been approached by some guys talking about him being illegal and a little unhinged (plus the bonus that he had powers) and how he should totally join their club. How was he supposed to know that they really meant he'd make an excellent evil genius and that their "club" was an organization bent on the destruction of the Justice League?

1: It will piss off Vlad Masters.

2: There is precedent (pictures of all the Batkids)

3: I fit in to your adoption preferences.

4: Elaborating on the previous points, I look like a Wayne.

5: I have a bad home life.

6: I have a strong sense of morals and justice.

7: I have a punny sense of humor.

8: Moving on, I have experience with billionaires with a secret lair under their house.

9: I also know about your vigilante personas, so you don't need to hide it from me.

10: I am also a vigilante, so I can help when needed and am not helpless if targeted.

11: I'm dead, so I need specialized care that only someone as rich as you could afford.

12: On that subject, I have a ghost doctor that can help with Jason's pit madness.

...

65: It would be really funny for me.

66: I'm a package deal. You get an extra daughter for free!

67: I am a poor child who has hardly known a parents love, wouldn't you like to do something about that?

68: Tim already knows me, so I'll already have a friend.

69: You already have adoption papers ready. I already stole some and partially filled them out.

In conclusion, sign here to be my legal guardian and dad, please.

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."