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it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here

(Just gonna put this here, hope you don't mind the addition)

The next human Danny comes across is an old man in the kitchen. He had scurried away from the random office or whatever it was when he heard the whirring of an elevator (enhanced hearing for the win. Except for when it was overwhelming) and had followed the next source of noise. The old man seemed to be cooking dinner or a late night meal depending on whatever time it was. Danny was currently just a Little Guy, he really couldn't care less after having his nap.

The old man looked down at him. He looked up. They maintained eye contact. The old man raised an eyebrow. Danny flicked his tail. The other eyebrow rose up to join the first. "I see Master Damian has a new... companion," the, apparently British, man said. He also didn't get called a pet, good. He may just be a little guy who enjoys cardboard boxes and avoids higher thinking skills, but he wasn't a pet. "And when's the last time you've been fed, little one?"

Fed? Food? Danny wagged his little tail and gave his cutest expression. Widen the eyes, furrow his little brows just so, "Mrrp?" He asked, trying to convey his utter starvation and how he was just a little guy, had never ever been fed, he mostly ceartinly didn't eat before starting his vacation. British Guy simply nodded and turned to whatever heavenly smelling thing he had in his pot.

Danny pawed at British Guy. He wanted some! British Guy gave him another raised eyebrow. "I may be unfamiliar with your species, but the general rule is no hot chocolate before allergies are ascertained,"

Danny whined pathetically. He was just a little guy! And if it wasn't for him, then who was it for?

Traffic light kid, out of his traffic light uniform, came skidding into the kitchen.

"Pennyworth! Have you seen-" Green eyes locked onto him. "You!" Yes, him, who still wasn't being fed! The rest of the family(?) chose to burst in at that moment. Danny wanted a vacation, not whatever this is!

Danny had been planning this vacation for months, and Ancients did he plan to make the most of it. His friends and parents all agreed to keep Amity safe while he’s gone for the summer, and he had Clockwork to tell him when it was time to portal back home. As he floated towards a natural portal in the ghost zone (because it’s far more fun when the destination is a surprise), he began shifting his form. He had been dealing with so much both as a human and as a ghost. School, fights, teen drama, hunters— but not this summer! This summer, it’s going to be different! He won’t have to worry about human or ghost problems, because this summer, he’s not going to be either! He’s going to be…

A Little Creature™️.

He doesn’t use his “compact” form very often, since it dampens his powers and takes away his ability to talk. But, on this vacation, he won’t need his powers. He can just wander around an unknown dimension, steal some food, sleep in a cardboard box. If he actually needs to be human for something, he can switch back no problem. But honestly? It’s fun being a little guy, even if being a little guy does make him kinda stupid. (He got stuck in a cardboard tube the first time he went into his little form. He was stuck for half an hour. Didn’t even think to phase out of it. As soon as he was pulled out of the tube, he went right back in and got stuck again). Plus, he can stay in this form for an incredibly long time— he doesn’t even switch back when he’s hurt! (Which no, it was not fun to learn that, but good to know)

Shifting into his compact form, Danny slips through the portal and finds himself wading through a big pool of stuff that seems like ectoplasm, but slightly to the left. Like yeah, it’s technically ectoplasm, the same way a carton of milk set out in the sun for three days is technically milk. Not fun to play in, horrible to eat.

As Danny pulls himself out of the gross, bubbling “ectoplasm” pool, shaking himself off, he sees some sort of big fight going down. Bunch of people with swords, some big guy dressed as a bat, some kid dressed as a traffic light. He considers stepping in for a moment, but… no. This is his vacation. Not his dimension, not his problem. Just be a Little Creature™️. He sees a bat-shaped piece of metal at his feet. He knows exactly what a Little Creature™️ would do in this scenario.

He hits it.

Then he hits it again.

Then he hits it again, and again, and again and again and again and he grabs it and bites it and rolls around with it and tail slaps it and bites it and bites it and bites it and bites it and then he almost gets stepped on.

Danny looks up from his toy to see the kid dressed as a traffic light staring down at him. The kid tries to grab the toy away from Danny only to be met by the fierce batting of his little paws. The kid moves his hand close a couple more times, and each time he’s fought off valiantly by Danny’s little paw smacks. He’s not sure why the kid looks like he’s smiling when he’s so clearly losing this battle. The kid gets distracted by the guy in the bat costume calling out to him, and Danny takes this opportunity to continue biting the bat toy, rolling with it and biting it and batting it and biting it and why is he being carried away by the kid.

Danny looks around and sees that the kid is carrying him into a big plane being piloted by the guy in the bat suit. Then he’s shoved under the kid’s cape, and he doesn’t really see too much for a few minutes. He chirps at the kid, and is met with a soft yet quick “shhh!” He waits until he can feel the plane they’re in take off to peek out of the cape and look out the window.

He can see the large pool— though it’s more of a pit, now that he sees the whole thing— that he arrived through, as well as a bunch of people running away from it. Not sure why though, it’s just a bubbling—

Ah.

It blew up.

… Danny hides a bit further in the cape, clutching his bat toy a little tighter. He wound up in a very comfortable position, which made him just… a little sleepy…

Danny woke up wrapped in the cape, held by the kid, surrounded by a shocking number of people all yelling something about a “tiny pet pit demon.”

The wheel has decided, today: Danny Phantom

Deadass, have been picturing an entirely different man this whole time..

I’ve watched ALL OF DANNY PHANTOM TWICE in my life, and I just???? It’s only been like, 5 years?? And I’ve just?? Totally forgot what Pariah Dark and the stupid little crown looked like.

For some reason I’ve always pictured him with longish hair lmao

Counterargument, forehead kisses, one on each side.

*takes a nasty bite out of burger, munching in bliss and taking a sip of soda out of my straw mid-chew*

You know what would be amazing? If there's this Sleeping Beauty AU where Danny and Kon have to figure between the two of them who kisses Tim (who's sleeping beauty in this case). But when neither of them work, they get dejected because maybe Tim wasn't in love with them after all.

*SLAMS SODA ON TABLE, ACCIDENTALLY SPILLING SOME*

WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW IS THAT THEY NEED TO KISS TIM AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!

*wipes mouth with hand and burps, loudly*

Anyways, that's all I got. *finger guns* Pay my tab for me, will ya? Ciao!

Hey wait! Damn guess I’ll have to steal anon’s fibula when they least expect it. I’m in your walls bucko and I’m comin for you.

Ok this is interesting though so I’ll only steal some sesamoid bones. You don’t need them anyways.

Big question is… would they even figure out that Tim needs to be kissed by BOTH of them?!

Like I’d expect that it takes a few weeks for that realization to happen. Maybe one of the other batfam finds something of Tim’s that describes someone he loves but he uses plurals. That leads to suspicion that they’re doing the wrong approach.

Now the argument is who kisses Tim’s hand and who kisses his mouth.

Plot twist! Danny's into that too. He wants someone to match the dramatic flair, and would you look at that? He's got it. And, well, bonus points to Jason for not minding getting French dipped by a twink. Seems to be the opposite, in fact.

One of those "Danny needs a consort" fics where a bunch of people are invited to a mass speed dating event. The invitation uses prettier words but thats what this is. Now Batman wants to go get a look a this super powerful being and see if he's a threat or ally, and would you look at that, most of his children fall into the age bracket the invitation specifies 

(or maybe the batkids have just been touched by death enough they're viable candidates and got personalized invitations. Either way Bruce wants to go)

So Batman says a few of his kids will go and he's tagging along as a "chaperone". Maybe a few other JL members do the same with their proteges. The hard part for Bruce is actually getting his kids to agree to go. The biggest surprise is Jason finds out and demands to go.

Now Jason, a known lover of regency period romances, read a copy of the invitation the JL got and knew exactly what this was. There will be a ball. The word "courting" was used. This is a chance to live out his secret romance novel dreams and nothing is getting in the way of that. So he calls the batfam to say he's going

The batfam are like flabbergasted that Jason wants to go to a spooky speed dating event but it has the added bonus of getting the kids to start volunteering bc they have to know why Jason is so excited about this

All I need is for someone to gently cup my face and tell me I'm not as doomed as I feel.

Constantine stared. The summoning had worked... mostly. Well he thought it worked?! There was an appropriate amount of glowing, chanting, unexplained cold and the feeling of magic being drawn in, but he had expected...

"Can I help you?" The person-teenager asked, voice slightly muffled from behind the intricate flaming crown completely obscuring their face. It settled on his shoulders, rather uncomfortable looking in all honesty, and tilted funnily, but was still large enough to obscure the child's(?) face except for a tuft of flowing, fluffy white hair.

"Yeah," Constantine replied after a moment. "We're looking for Phantom, King of the Infinite Realms, Pariah's Bane, Twice Savior of the Infinite Realms, bearer of many titles, etcetera," He chewed on his cigarette and tried to act casual. "We tried summonin' him and got you instead. Know why?"

The kid let out a very long sigh, and slumped over where he hovered, crown tilting precariously on his shoulders. "That's cause I'm me. Phantom. That's me. King of the Infinite Realms, person with too many fucking titles. Who are-," The kid paused where he had tilted the oversized crown up to peer out at the League members gathered around the circle, gave a little yip of surprise and dropped the crown back down in front of his face. "The Justice League," the kid squeaked, "I got summoned by the Justice League. Cool, cool, I am being SO normal about this,"

Constantine got the feeling that the kid, Phantom, (a kid whose crown was too big for his head, who still got starry eyed at heroes when by many accounts he was one) was very much not being as cool as he wanted to be.

DPxDC Prompt where Danny gets ghost king summoned by the JL, but it’s one of those “crown too big for he gotdamn head” situations, and not in a way that looks cool.

It’s just completely obscuring his face, sat on his shoulders with tufts of white hair poking out. 

Danny’s only glad they can’t see him blushing (and that he can hide the damn thing when he’s not actively forced to reveal the artifacts by, say, a fucking summoning).

It's about punching Nazis together, y'know? True live starts and ends with punching a fascist.

Shoutout to the noirpunk nation anyways noir would think hobie is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen and doubts anything will top it