Latest Posts by linruuu - Page 6
OH YE OF LITTLE FACE
hey everybody, welcome to another amazing installment of Weird Biology and WOWIE ZOWIE do I have an odd one for you today!
this bizarre creature is among the largest of its kind, but bears hardly any resemblance to the rest of the family. (we’re sure this gets mentioned a lot at its family holiday dinners.) it has a real mouthful of a name and the spirit of a cranky old man about to whack you in the shin with his walker.
give it up for…
I’ll just give this image a moment to sink in.
(it’s also called the small-headed softshell turtle, because scientists are a bunch of mean highschoolers.)
seriously, I don’t even really know where to START with this guy. unlike the humble regular earnest hardworking turtle, the Narrow-Headed Softshell Turtle does not have an armored shell (hence the name). instead, its shell is soft and leathery. like a pair of well-broken-in Timblerland boots, except that the boots will not bite you.
oh, he is absolutely going to bite you.
this soft pliable shell cuts down on the turtle’s weight by a huge amount, making them far more agile in the water and faster on land than a conventional everyman turtle (this should make you worried). the flattened shape of the shell also makes them more hydrodynamic, making them faster in the water than you can possibly imagine.
for a turtle, I mean.
this is an important advantage, because the Narrow-Headed Softshell Turtle spends most of its life in the water. they live on the bottoms of sandy rivers across a wide area of central and southern Asia, where they reach sizes best described as fucking huge. adults can reach up to 45 inches (shell length only) and 260 fucking pounds (whole damn turtle).
their total body length can be over a meter. fuuuuuuuuck. a turtle that size needs a LOT of shoulder room, especially because the adults are a bunch of cranky ginormous chompmonsters. (can’t really blame them, I guess. I’d be irritable too, if my head was that small)
now imagine a cheesed-off 260-pound turtle swimming towards you at Mach Fuck.
Narrow-Headed Softshell Turtles are aggressive, and will attack anything they consider a threat (including humans, fishing boats, and probably also rocks). their primary attack is to just bite the fuck out of whatever is annoying them , but their secondary move is the one to watch out for.
when terminally pissed off, the turtle extends the full length of its surprisingly long neck and delivers a literal cannon headbutt. this attack has been documented as being powerful enough to damage fishing boats. imagine what it would do to your face. (nothing good. if you see this turtle winding up, run.)
the true face of terror.
when left to its own devices, the Narrow-Headed Softshell Turtle spends its time buried at the bottom of the river, waiting for its next meal to happen by. (which it can do almost indefinitely because softshell turtles can breathe underwater, holy shit.) once another animal smaller than itself passes overhead the turtle strikes, mortally wounding the prey with its nightmare bite (no joke, the first strike usually kills instantly. this is a creature capable of taking a chunk out of your leg). it’s a pretty solid gig, if you’re a lonely grumpmonster.
beats pumping gas all day, I guess.
in fact, the Narrow-Headed Softshell Turtle spends so much of its life underwater that we… don’t really know all that much about it. apart from the biting thing, I mean. the turtle has been very clear on that.
we’re not even entirely sure how long they live, though captive turtles have made it more than 70 grouchy, grouchy years. locals in India claim that in the wild individual river bastards can stick around for up to 140 years, which I am inclined to believe because these people fish for a living and they have to remember where the boat-sinking nightmare turtles live.
it’s only common sense.
despite its wide range, the Narrow-Headed Softshell Turtle is now considered Endangered. (note: this is not allowed. what would we replace them with? large cantankerous frogs? big passive-aggressive catfish? I DON’T THINK SO.)
this is primarily due to human hunting, as the turtles are consumed in huge number throughout Asia. (humans will eat anything.)
the government of India has now moved to protect the turtle, restricting trade and moving to conserve the species. we dearly hope this will be enough to save the grumpy frumpy river grandpa.
please stay with us forever, Narrow-Headed Softshell Turtle. we love your tiny tiny face and terrible attitude.
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thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series here.
if you enjoy my work, maybe buy me a coffee to support Weird Biology.
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IMAGE SOURCES
img1- Wikimedia Commons img2- conservationindia.org img3-zoosrcool.wordpress.com img4- Joel Sartore img5- Turtle Survival Alliance img6- Turtle Survival Alliance img7- The TeCake img8- Joel Sartore
@starchygoodness
Are you OK ?
@thisishangingrockcomics
Sevdiğim kediler
In the 1950s, the South Atlantic population of humpback whales hovered around 450 individuals and was on its way to extinction. Now, there are around 25,000 humpback whales swimming the waters of the South Atlantic. That’s an increase of over 90%!
This study is just another piece of evidence that our conservation efforts are working. Providing legal protection for wild animals and investing in their continued existence does actually make a difference; we aren’t just throwing money away after a lost cause.
GO WHALES!
Had enough of bath time thanks
A CATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
hi everybody, welcome to another wonderful episode of Weird Biology! I’m your host, Bunjy.
we’re here today to talk about a seriously adoraweird critter with a heart of gold! (or maybe just fluff, it’s hard to tell)
so put all your emotions in your front pocket where you can reach them and give it up for-
he’s meow-vellous!
the Manul is a smallish wildcat native to the mountains of Central Asia. they are also called the Pallas Cat, after German Naturalist Peter Pallas. however, we won’t be using that name because he was a fucking idiot.
seriously, he thought the Manul was related to the Persian, which is a breed of domestic cat. (Persians are descended from the African Wildcat just like the rest of housekittydom, sorry Pallas. you moron.)
also he didn’t discover shit, the native Mongolians have been calling it the Manul since the first human to meet one got their shins clawed off hundreds of years ago.
and their scientific name, Otocolobus manul, means “ugly eared Manul”. where are these scientists, I will fight them. FACE ME, COWARDS.
Manuls are about the size of a housecat, weighing up to 10 pounds. however unlike a housecat which is composed of about 30% fluff, the Manul is composed of nearly 110% fluff. there’s barely any cat in there at all! you could probably stick your hand right through. try it yourself! go ahead, I’ll watch from back here.
what? I just like to keep 10 feet and a solid barrier between myself and other people at all times. do it. you can trust me.
(no you can’t)
anyway as you have possibly just found out from the emergency room doctor, there is in fact some cat inside the Manul’s grand fluff and it is not fond of being pawed at by people. (Manuls make terrible pets, so get that thought out of your head right fucking now. go see them at the zoo like everyone else.) it’s a shame, because that fur coat is goddam luxurious.
in fact, the Manul has the longest and thickest fur of any wildcat! this is because they live only at high elevations (up to 16,000 feet, which is 15,997 feet higher than I will tolerate), where the weather is windy and brutally cold. you’ve probably also noticed their tiny Garfield ears, which help to minimize heat loss. this combo keeps them toasty warm on otherwise bare mountainsides.
at least until Jim Davis sues them for copyright infringement.
though all these biology facts are very interesting, I must confess they aren’t the reason that I’ve chosen the Manul for this week’s topic. the real reason is that they’re a bunch of hyperemotive memelords.
no seriously, the Manul has catapulted (har!) to internet fame in recent years because their round faces, wide expressive eyes and stubby bodies combine to form a perfect emotive machine. this cat can express emotions that haven’t been invented yet, let alone named.
let’s call this one "Swoom”
seriously, how can you top that? it’s like a living emoticon.
this is “Woderous”
okay, where were we before I got distracted by cat memes? *paper rustles* ah, right. the spite chapter.
Manuls are ambush predators, despite their fluffy bulk. they mostly eat Pika, (sorry, Pokemon fans) a small rabbity creature that squeaks a lot and doesn’t really deserve the fame Nintendo gave it. Manuls are solitary animals and live alone.
(this sounds sad, but it’s actually because every Manul hates every other Manul in existence and not even god himself can change this)
this is not the face of a creature that enjoys the company of others.
Manuls avoid each other, keeping fiercely to their individual territories. the only contact adult cats have with each other at all is during the breeding season, which is pathetically short. after briefly working together to make some kittens, the Manuls part ways. (presumably while avoiding eye contact.)
after about three months the female gives birth to 2-6 bouncing baby kittens, which all hate each other immediately. seriously, Manul kittens growl and hiss at their littermates before they can even open their eyes! talk about sibling rivalry. once the kittens are old enough to make it alone, they’ll take off in different directions and never call home again.
like the Brady Bunch, except very much not.
unfortunately the Manul is classified as Near Threatened in most of their range. human encroachment and environmental destruction takes a toll, but most of the problem is a little more cartoon villain-y than you’d expect.
see, humans really really really like that plush fur coat, but they like it even better as an actual fur coat. (I was going to make a 101 Manuls joke here but it was just too depressing.) Manuls are still hunted for their fur in a fair amount of their range, though that is beginning to change. many nations are putting protections in place for our favorite stubby emotion machine, and we can only hope this is enough to save the wonderful pile of antisocial fluff that is the Manul.
–
thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series here.
if you enjoy my work, maybe buy me a coffee to support Weird Biology.
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IMAGE SOURCES
img1- Atlas Obscura img2- Huffington Post img3- Persia Digest img4- OK.ru img5- BoredPanda img6- Cheezburger img7- BoredPanda img8- Big Cat Rescue Img9- FivePrime
SIEGE OF THE SEA DEVILS
hey everyone, happy friday and welcome back to another excellent episode of Weird Biology!
this week, we’re examining a charismatic and almost perfect oceanic killing machine! you might be picturing a shark, but you’re wrong.
it’s the flamboyant, fantastic, and fucking ecological nightmare, the
NAAAAAANTS INGONYAAAAMAA
Lionfish are a group of 12 species in the genus Pterois (tare-oh-eese), meaning “winged”. these fish are among the most striking and beautiful in the ocean! they’re also full of poison knives, but more on that later.
also called Dragonfish, Firefish, Turkeyfish, Tastyfish or PEZ DIABLO (Devilfish, or “underwater satan” if you use Google Translate), Lionfish are native to the Southern Pacific and Indian oceans. they are mostly found on coral reefs, where they can grow up to 17 inches long and reach about 3 pounds.
3 pounds of pure whoopass.
small but mighty! SMALL BUT MIGHTY!
see, when it comes to sheer badass ability to survive anywhere, Lionfish are damn near perfect. most reef fish are specialized creatures with a fairly low set of tolerances. not Lionfish! for starters, they’re common in every level of the water column up to 1000 feet down. that’s impressive for a regular fish, let alone a reef specialist. they can also tolerate temperatures as low as 60 F, which again, fucking ridiculous. this fish could probably survive on the moon.
on top of that, their reproductive rate is insane. unlike many reef fish who follow a yearly cycle, Lionfish reproduce monthly. and every month a female Lionfish may lay- wait for it- 15,000 eggs. add in the fact that they have maybe three natural predators and it’s a wonder we aren’t knee deep in them right now.
good news! the Lionfish will submerge us before the oceans do!
Lionfish may look like delicate lacy parasols, but that bold coloration is actually Nature’s equivalent of wearing a bright orange hazard vest! but if we’re doing a direct comparison, in the Lionfish’s case it’s more like the equivalent of wearing a bright orange hazard vest while standing on the roof of a burned-out van, waving a submachine gun at traffic.
see, those lacy fins are are concealing dozens and dozens of long, razor-sharp spines venomous enough to incapacitate a human. any predator unwary enough to get a mouthful of the Lionfish’s poison shiv collection will experience immediate debilitating pain, paralysis, and almost certain death. (this venom isn’t strong enough to kill a healthy adult, but it really fucking sucks and can floor you for at least a day. do not touch.)
it’s time to play our favorite biology game, How Many Poison Knives Is This Animal Packing? if you guess wrong, you die.
Lionfish are voracious eating machines, in addition to being basically a floating wedding dress full of poison ice picks. they feed on fish, invertebrates, mollusks, and smaller Lionfish. these flamboyant cannibals feed by disorienting their prey with a jet of water, and then swallowing it headfirst like a Hardees breakfast sandwich.
and they’ll cram as many fish/shrimp/members of their own species into that ravenous maw as possible- a Lionfish’s stomach can expand to 30 times its original size on a binge! and in lean times, the Lionfish can slow its metabolism to a literal crawl. they can survive a three-month fast and lose only 10% of their body weight. jesus.
can anything stop these frilly nightmares?
SPOILER ALERT: no.
the question is unfortunately relevant. in 1992, Hurricane Andrew struck South Florida and demolished a public aquarium. Florida had bigger things to worry about, so nobody noticed that six Lionfish had been tragically swept out to sea. in the complete absence of natural predators, those six Free-Willied Lionfish (plus many others released from the pet trade) have become MILLIONS.
Lionfish have launched a hostile invasion of Carribean waters, and are now found from the Gulf Coast to North Carolina. this is a big fucking problem.
and that’s no joke.
apart from how dangerous they are, the Lionfish’s natural fish superiority allows it to easily outcompete meek and innocent native fish. this is putting stress on invaded reef ecosystems, and the problem is only getting worse as Lionfish continue to spread further north. Lionfish are even learning to tolerate mildly brackish water and have been found in estuaries four miles from the fucking ocean.
at this rate, we’re all going to wake up and find a Lionfish in our beds.
it’s their bed now. accept your inferiority before Earth’s true dominant species.
the fate of these oceans rests on the questionable shoulders of the Lionfish’s only (un)natural predator:
you.
the only current way to slow their spread is to just eat the absolute hell out of them. that’s right, Lionfish are edible. and not just that, they’re completely fucking delicious and heart-healthy! they’re called Tastyfish for a reason. and for all their prowess, Lionfish have yet to evolve a defense for projectile weapons. (that’s what happens when you put all your skill points into Melee, Lionfish.)
and remember: eating a Lionfish is taking part in the front lines of a battle for the future of your oceans. also, they’re just delicious.
so do your part, and eat up!
WORLD IS A FUCK, 410,757,864,530 DEAD LIONFISH
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thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series here.
if you enjoy my work, maybe buy me a coffee to support Weird Biology.
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IMAGE SOURCES
img1- Pensecola News Journal img2- Oceanea.org img3- Wikipedia img4- Don Johnson img5- Hakai Magazine img6- Florida Keys Treasures img7- CNN img8- dmagazine.com
A WALK ON THE WIDER SIDE
hello and welcome to another episode of Weird Biology with me, your host Bunjy! this week’s creature is hard to see and kind of dangerous, so we’re just going to watch our step as we-
OOP WATCH OUT!
you almost stepped on him!
you should be more careful, you could have really hurt his feelings.
it’s time to meet-
*muffled hysterical laughter*
the Gaboon Viper is found in the forests and savannas of sub-Saharan Africa. its boldly patterned scales are perfectly camouflaged against the forest floor, making it all but invisible.
its incredible striking speed and strength are renowned throughout the reptile world, and its venomous bite is powerful enough to kill even a grown man! clearly, this is not a creature to be trifled with.
and it is, as they say in herpetologist circles, a Swarthy Lad.
*continued hysterical laughter*
as you may have noticed from the pictures, the Gaboon Viper is very, uh, wide. and flat. like a pancake. a pan-snake, if you will. in fact, they’re so wide that their wikipedia page has an entire measurement category called “girth” just for them. (no, I’m not joking) and it’s over 14 inches, if you were curious. that’s usually a measurement reserved for pizzas.
there’s good reason for this, because the Gaboon Viper is the heftiest viper in the world! they generally reach only 4-5 feet long, but may weigh nearly twenty pounds. that’s completely fucking ridiculous.
that’s like a normal snake, if that normal snake had just eaten a couple of 7-pound free weights.
Gaboon Vipers are at the top of the snake list for a lot of different qualities, as it turns out. it’s not just that manhole cover physique, this snake has the WHOLE package. they are known for being incredibly fast despite their size, and for wrestling prey to the ground with their sheer strength like it’s the last five seconds of a ladder match. but now get ready for a real double whammy-
they have the longest fangs of any snake! OF ANY SNAKE. they also produce the most venom per bite of any snake! OF ANY SNAKE. wow! fuck!
aaaa! I still think you’re adorable!
those fangs are two fucking inches long, for reference. two inches. let’s think about that for a minute.
oookay we’re done thinking about that. so now let’s consider the fact that a Gaboon Viper can deliver up to 7 ml of venom per bite! alright, so that doesn’t sound like a lot. but please remember that the lethal dose for a human is 0.06 ml. jesus. imagine carrying enough poison in your face to kill like a thousand people.
and for a species that mostly eats small animals like rabbits, this is absolutely stupid amounts of overkill. like, hunting-pigeons-with-a-rocket-launcher levels of overkill.
people probably would be into that if it was allowed, actually.
alright, so we’ve definitely laid out the facts that make Gaboon Vipers so terrifying. but now I’ll hit you with the good news!
human deaths from Gaboon Viper bites are very, very, very rare. and it’s because Gaboon Vipers are very good flat boys.
no seriously, some of that is because Gaboon Vipers live way the fuck out in the woods but it’s mostly because these snakes are some of the most laid-back reptiles in existence.
yes, really.
don’t have a cow, man.
Gaboon Vipers are tolerant, docile animals that are extremely unlikely to bite you. in fact, they’re so chillax that scientists have been able to pick them up barehanded and stick them in collection boxes. (WE DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS. SCIENTISTS ARE OFTEN A LITTLE NUTS.) apparently the snakes just kind of went along with it. maybe they were bored?
usually when people ARE bitten, it’s because they didn’t see the snake and fucking stepped on it. and even then, stomping on a Gaboon Viper doesn’t always earn a bite. (BUT DON’T DO THAT. IT’S MEAN.)
they’re good sweet boys, is what I’m getting at here.
the GOODEST good boy. look at his widdle face.
thankfully, the Gaboon Viper is doing pretty okay! the species is still widely distributed, and has a conservation status of Least Concern. (it probably helps that they have so little conflict with humanity! chillness is its own virtue.)
it’s not often that I close a Weird Biology article with that kind of good news, so this deserves to be celebrated! clap your hands and jump around a bit! Yaaay, Gaboon Viper! we love your chubby little face and your ridiculously chill lifestyle!
maybe we could all take a lesson from the Gaboon Viper, and relax a little more.
–
thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series here.
if you enjoy my work, maybe buy me a coffee or check out my Patreon to see extra content and support Weird Biology.
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IMAGE SOURCES
img1- Wikipedia.zh img2- The National Zoo img3- Julie Larsen Maher @WCS img4- reptiletalk.net img5- Reptiles Magazine img6- AnimalSpot.net img7- Carnivora img8- AboutAnimals.com
SOMETHING TO SNOUT ABOUT
you’re wandering across the plains of Mongolia, wondering where the fuck you left your horse. suddenly, the ground shakes! like the beginning of the stampede scene in the Lion King. you hear a distant thunder, as if caused by many hooves! like the stampede scene in the Lion King. you shift anxiously as the noise grows louder, wishing you’d paid more attention to the Disney classics.
suddenly the herd comes over the rise, and you laugh so hard you fall over and are immediately and tragically trampled to death.
surprise! it’s the-
and it’s rude to laugh. (but boy, is it hard not to.)
the Saiga (sigh-guh) is a goat-sized antelope native to the Eurasian steppe. they’re found from the Carpathian Mountains to Mongolia. and they uh, have a bit of a nose situation going on.
and that’s the understatement of the century! the Saiga’s mighty schnozz is its defining feature, and no other hooved animal on earth has such a robust snoot. the Saiga pities their pathetic little faces for it.
that’s a lot of nose to look down. geeze.
so why this immense not-quite-trunk? maybe they use it to make noise, or to intimidate rivals? not so much, actually. both males and females have the tremendous facetrumpet, though females do lack horns and a desire to kill. (but more on that later.)
obviously this big ol clown honker must have some purpose, or it wouldn’t exist. or maybe God was just bored, who nose. (har!) but I kid, this punderful snout actually does have a purpose!
and that purpose is to look ABSOLUTELY STUNNING.
as I mentioned, Saigas are herd animals. and at some point, Evolution decided to provide them with a semi-helpful wedgie. that monster snout helps to filter dust kicked up by their 50ish neighbors out of the air they breathe, as they stumpf semi-majestically across the plains.
it also helps to warm the air they breathe in the cold months, which is an adaptation anyone who’s ever stepped out of their front door directly into a -10 hellzone is surely jealous of. (god, you don’t even know.)
I’m not bitter! I’M NOT.
and they migrate really far! herds of these ridiculous little antelopes can cross thousands of miles, and travel up to 72 miles in a single day! they ford rivers, brave valleys, and scuttle inspiringly across the tundra like they think they’re in a Lifetime movie.
their goal is to reach their seasonal feeding grounds; they spend the winters in the south and the summers in the north. like retirees, except without the tacky golf pants.
BRENDA, HAVE YOU SEEN MY SHORTS.
Saigas eat a wide variety of plants, including some that are toxic to other animals. like goats, Saigas put all of their skill points into the ‘eat anything’ slot. and it seems to have paid off; they were once found across all of Europe and Asia, and even in paleolithic North America! (though the end of the last ice age put a brutal stop to that.)
just imagine being a prehistoric hunter-gatherer and looking out your tent one day to see a moving sea of these ridiculous little muppet antelopes. I bet it was a fun time.
GROK, YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I’M LOOKING AT RIGHT NOW.
but I did promise I’d get back to the heart-full-of-murder thing, so I guess I’d better do that. Saiga are a lot like other ungulates in that their herds are mostly made up of females, with one attendant male who just kind of hangs out and get poached for his horns sometimes. at least, until breeding season. (DUN DUN DUUUN)
males spend the entire breeding season fighting each other for access to the ladies, which isn’t unusual for a hooved mammal! but what IS unusual is the fatality rate- 90% of these fights end with one male just fucking killing the other. I guess the Saiga ladies are just really into blood sport.
maybe we can get them to just watch Game of Thrones instead like normal people.
but their conservation status is another story altogether. (it’s depressing how many species this is true for. welcome to the Anthropocene, I guess. the geological era where everything sucks.)
around two decades ago, more than a million Saiga wandered across the Eurasian Steppe. but unregulated hunting for food, trophies and the Saiga’s ‘medicinal’ horns decreased their numbers to less than 50,000 in just 10 years. and if that weren’t enough, bacterial infections have been taking huge chunks out of the remaining population: a mass die-off in 2015 killed half of them.
but there is good news: these goofy little hooved bastards are now enjoying governmental protection and conservation efforts to raise their numbers. there are still around 50,000 of them and with luck and maybe a little less murder, these goatish nostril maniacs will be thundering across the plains once more.
(lord willing.)
–
thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series on my tumblr here, or check out the official archive at weirdbiology.com!
if you enjoy my work, maybe buy me a coffee and support Weird Biology!
and if you’d like to see exclusive Weird Biology content, check out my Patreon today!
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IMAGE SOURCES
img1- Tim Flach img2- Saiga Conservation Alliance img3- World Atlas img4- elelur.com img5- Andrey Giljov and Karina Karenina img6- Mongabay img7- IUCN img8- LabRoots
NAUTICAL NONSENSE
WHOOOOOOOO
LIVES IN A SPIRAL SHELL UNDER THE SEA?
BACKWARDS AND STRIPEY AND BUOYANT IS HE!
okay, I’d better stop before Nick L. O’deon tells me to cut it out. so here we go!
the Chambered Nautilus is an ancient deep-sea-dwelling mollusk, distant kin to both octopuses and those clams you had for lunch. they’re one of the oldest kinds of cephalopod on the planet, going all the way back to the Triassic. which, you know, 251 million years ago. (plus or minus a few million years.) they survived the extinction event that ended the reign of the dinosaurs, which also terminated their close cousin the Ammonites. these little shell dudes are true survivors.
since then, the Chambered Nautilus has bobbed its way into our collective consciousness. it inspired the very first fictional submarine, as well as an even more badass and actually-real-this-time submarine. its gorgeous shell can be found in nautical-themed restaurants worldwide. the Chambered Nautilus is a pretty big deal.
for a shellfish, anyway.
Chambered Nautilus grow to be about ten inches across the shell, which may not sound impressive but is actually an incredible feat of engineering. you’ve probably seen it before, but the Chambered Nautilus has a really trippy segmented spiral thing going on in their shell that a: makes for a great album cover, and b: creates a neutrally buoyant home that can stand the pressure of the deep sea! which is lucky, because that’s where the Chambered Nautilus lives.
these shelled little weirdos are found in the waters of the Indo-Pacific, where they live on the deep edges of coral reefs and sea canyon walls. but not below 2,600 feet, as their shells dramatically implode at that point! ha ha!
see, the nice thing about human houses? they don’t usually implode.
the Chambered Nautilus is sort of like a snail, except more complex and more backwards. (yes, I’m serious.) the soft gooey body of the Chambered Nautilus only fits in the first compartment of their shell, including their hearts, eyeballs, probable souls, various gross buoyancy organs and their roughly 90 tentacles and jet propulsion system.
yes, those last two things are totally real, I swear. let’s get into it!
I hope you like tentacles!
I’ll address the jet thing first. the Chambered Nautilus is similar to squid, in that they experience the world mostly backwards. they have a water intake valve called a hyponome which is basically a fancy tube that they keep somewhere in their tentacle zone. they use this weird pipe to draw water into an inner chamber inside their shell, and then violently squirt it right back out. this causes the Chambered Nautilus to lurch backwards at high speed like a startled raccoon.
but I didn’t even get to the best part! see, the Chambered Nautilus has very simple eyes and terrible vision. and they can’t even really see around that honkydonk badonkadonk shell anyway, so they lurch violently backwards and then bump comically into things. ALL THE TIME.
like, often enough for it to be a documented species trait. ADORABLE.
but you’ve been waiting patiently, and it’s time to get into the best part: those tentacles! and boy I sure hope you’re a fan, because the Chambered Nautilus has around 90 simple retractable tentacles called cirri. (make sure you write these down, as there will be a short quiz following this program.)
these cirri are covered in tiny ridges, like gross wet velcro spaghetti. this gives them a really absurd amount of grip, like REALLY absurd. apparently it’s easier to accidentally rip them right off the Nautilus than it is to get them off a scientist’s glove.
I’m sure that researcher felt REALLY bad afterwards.
this insane grip comes in handy (pun!) though, when the Chambered Nautilus is on the hunt. these voracious shellboys mostly eat fish, crabs and shrimp, but they aren’t above scavenging and will eat whatever is available.
once the Chambered Nautilus has spotted a likely meal, it splats itself onto it face-first like a goddam Looney Tunes character and grabs on. once they prey is snagged, it’s curtains for that particular shrimp. because like all cephalopods, the Chambered Nautilus has a razor-sharp nightmare beak hidden somewhere in all those tentacles. yum!
I mean, I’m not going to poke around in there and look so you’ll just have to trust me on this.
but the Chambered Nautilus isn’t doing so hot these days, and it’s all because of that lovely steampunk shell. its pearly luster and geometric intricacy make them prized by humans, who slaughter the Chambered Nautilus by the thousands to get them. fuck!
this shell-focused hunting has greatly decreased the Chambered Nautilus’s numbers in the past decade, and they’re almost certainly endangered now. efforts are underway to protect them, but in the meantime: DON’T BUY ANY NAUTILUS SHELLS. just get an Ammonite fossil, it’s basically the same thing but without the moral baggage or angry cephalopod ghosts.
the Chambered Nautilus survived the extinction that killed off the Ammonites and Dinosaurs, hopefully it will survive this one too.
ANGRY. CEPHALOPOD. GHOSTS.
–
thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series on my tumblr here, or check out the official archive at weirdbiology.com!
if you enjoy my work, maybe buy me a coffee and support Weird Biology!
and if you’d like to see exclusive Weird Biology content, check out my Patreon today!
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IMAGE SOURCES
img1- Monterey Bay Aquarium img2- Monterey Bay Aquarium img3- National Aquarium img4- Monterey Bay Aquarium img5- NOAA Fisheries img6- Monterey Bay Aquarium img7- Among the Reef img8- California Academy of Sciences
THE LAST DRAGON
if you want to learn about dragons, you’re usually restricted to the Fantasy section of your local library. because dragons are made up, and don’t exist except in the minds of small children and George R. R. Martin.
apart from the ones that live in Indonesia, of course. they may not breathe fire or threaten hobbits, but these dragons are very real and perfectly willing to rip your face off and ask for seconds.
watch out, because it’s the
I AM FIRE, I AM DEATH
Komodo Dragons are actually a kind of lizard, but one on the scale of life on earth back when the dinosaurs were in charge. they’re fucking huge. these behemoths can reach lengths of ten feet and weights of over 300 pounds. big enough to ride, if there were a human out there brave enough to try it. (DON’T DO THIS, YOU WILL DIE. THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN THE OSTRICH THING, I’M NOT KIDDING.)
naturally these enormous reptiles scared the everloving shit out of the first Dutch explorers to reach the area, forever earning themselves the name “Dragon”. for once, those old European maps with little doodles of monsters everywhere were pretty accurate!
don’t go looking for Krakens, though. those are still mostly fake.
Komodo Dragons are the largest lizard on earth, and the largest of the monitor family Varanidae. but this wasn’t always the case! they’re actually the last and least of an ancient line of giant reptiles that once inhabited the south pacific. the largest of these was Australia’s Megalania, an 18-foot titan that died out at the end of the last Ice Age with the rest of its kind. but not the Komodo Dragon! they’re doing just fine, thanks.
like Megalania, the Komodo Dragon seems to have evolved in Australia. (OF COURSE. THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.) and when the seas rose at the end of the Ice Age, it stranded a population of dragons on five remote islands in Indonesia, where they survived whatever the fuck killed off their continental relatives. (probably us, to be honest.) you thought it was just a tagline but it’s not: these guys are truly the Last Dragons.
go ahead and shed a tear, but don’t expect them to appreciate it.
their isolation and last-dragonism is very sad, yes. but don’t feel too bad about it, because Komodo Dragons are one of nature’s most dangerous predators. there’s a reason locals call them Ora, the Land Crocodile. (actually there’s multiple reasons, and they’re all terrible. stand by!)
their lazy lizard stylings and charming smirk conceal a mouthful of inch-long serrated teeth, razor-sharp claws and a nightmare bullwhip of a tail. Komodo Dragons use all of these weapons, and more! (this is the Super Cool part of the article kids, make sure to read it EXTRA CAREFULLY so you can impress your friends later during recess.)
and yes, they swim! hurray! there is no escape.
the Komodo Dragon is an apex predator, which is unusual for a lizard. they’re filling an ecological niche that would normally be taken by a large mammal predator like, I dunno, a tiger or a lion or a bear. (OH MY!) this means they have some pretty big shoes to fill (metaphorical, bears don’t wear shoes.) but they do it in spades!
Komodo Dragons will eat anything, and that’s barely an exaggeration. They eat plenty of carrion, and lots of small creatures like squirrels and really unlucky snakes. they also eat medium animals like goats, WHICH THEY SWALLOW WHOLE. (if the prey is too big to fit down their throats, the Komodo Dragon often rams its open mouth into a tree until it fits. sometimes they actually knock down the fucking tree. I wish I was making this up.) Komodo Dragons also eat animals you normally wouldn’t be able to take down without a rocket launcher, like water buffalo and uh, other Komodo Dragons. they’re cannibals, because the food chain just moves backwards sometimes.
and yes, they absolutely eat humans. good thing they’re trapped on five remote islands in Indonesia!
WAIT, THEY SWIM. FUCK, HOW COULD I FORGET.
so how does an overgrown gecko hunt animals that normally require an entire pack of lions to take down? well, there’s some Science Controversy™ about that. Komodo Dragons have a pair of MYSTERIOUS GLANDS (which would be a good name for a garage band) in their lower jaw, which scientists used to think were full of venom. they thought that the Komodo Dragon was basically using this venom to cheat its way into a niche that should rightfully belong to a more advanced mammal, but THESE SCIENTISTS WERE WRONG AND DUMB.
it turns out these MYSTERIOUS GLANDS (I want this on a t-shirt) actually don’t do a whole lot as far as hunting goes! they secrete what MAY be a mild anticoagulant, but it’s not really strong enough to have much effect. yup, turns out that the Komodo Dragon just mauls the shit out of things until they die, like any decent ‘advanced mammal’ predator. they EARNED that apex niche as honestly as any predator can. (not that predators really have a concept of “honest”, or that it matters, since they’re the ones with the inch-long teeth.)
LIZARDS RULE AND MAMMALS DROOL!
but maybe it’s not such a surprise that these real-life dragons are still on top of the food chain, because they’re some of the smartest reptiles on earth. and okay, maybe “the smartest reptile in the world” doesn’t sound like an impressive title. but Komodo Dragons and their cousins have elaborate social structures, can count to six, recognize individual humans, and play nice games of tug-the-carcass with their friends. (both humans and other dragons can be friends! friends are not for eating.) that’s a better track record than most human toddlers!
and they’re totally trainable, but don’t get your hopes up about owning one or several. (DANG.) Komodo Dragons are a protected species, so having a loyal army of them trained to lay waste to your enemies and fetch the morning paper is still very much a pipe dream. (this is a joke, they make terrible pets.)
FOR NOW.
and speaking of being a protected species, how is the Komodo Dragon doing these days? well, shortly after scaring the absolute pants off the first Dutch explorers to meet one, Europeans became obsessed with them and they were granted immediate protections by the Dutch colonial government. (please note that the Komodo Dragon was also doing just fine before the Dutch came along, thanks.) in fact, the first expedition sent to capture Komodo Dragons for scientific study was the basis for the movie King Kong! (a niche film you may possibly have heard of.)
these protections kept the Komodo Dragon from becoming just another hunting trophy for rich Europeans. (unfortunately this cannot be said of lions, tigers and bears, all of whom decorated the drawing rooms of rich Victorians.) they’re still doing pretty well today, though they are threatened by rising seawater and their limited range.
we hope these gigantic lizard genius cannibals stick around for a long time to come! and remember, if you want to avoid getting munched: BEFRIEND. (very carefully.)
HUMANS ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD.
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thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series on my tumblr here, or check out the official archive at weirdbiology.com!
if you enjoy my work, maybe buy me a coffee and support Weird Biology!
and if you’d like to see exclusive Weird Biology content, check out my Patreon today!
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IMAGE SOURCES
img1- elpais.com img2- Time Travel Turtle img3- Smithsonian National Zoo img4- Komodo Tours img5- Michael Pollack img6- Animal Sake img7- ZooChat img8- Calgary Herald
GETTING THE POINT
when you think of unicorns, what do you picture? a sunny forest glade full of snow-white pointy horses prancing around and farting glitter everywhere? well, that’s very Lisa Frank of you and all but YOU’RE WRONG. because (unlike dragons) unicorns actually do exist! but they don’t prance about in the forest harassing virgins.
no, they inhabit the icy waters of the far nothern seas, gorging on deep-sea squid and occasionally getting eaten by Polar Bears!
they may not be magical, but they’re rad as hell! it’s-
they PROBABLY don’t harass virgins, anyway. it’s not like there’s studies on that.
the Narwhal is a toothed whale that lives in the frozen wasteland of the arctic circle. their name is really really fun to say, especially if you draw it out. narwhaaal. try it! narwhaaaaal. fun! their name comes from the Old Norse “Whal”, meaning “Whale”, and “Nar”, meaning “Corpse”.
yup, the name literally means “corpse whale”. this is probably because early viking explorers thought that the Narwhal’s mottled grey back looked like a drowned sailor who’d been in the water for a while. gross! vikings were not even in the general vicinity of messing around.
unless we’re talking about the football team! har! SPORTS.
Narwhals max out at about 18 feet long and 3,500 lbs, putting them firmly in the category “smedium”. (we’re talking about whales here, remember.) they are closely related to the Beluga whale, which will get its own article at some point. but the most remarkable thing about Narwhals is their magnificent and dubiously magical tusk.
the tusk’s gentle spiral and soulful luster make it look exactly like the unicorn horns of legend (more on this later), but it’s actually… a really fucked-up tooth! (surprise!) that’s right, Narwhals have exactly two teeth in their weird beaky mouths, kind of where your canine teeth are in your own mouth. and in males and about 15% of females, one of these two teeth just goes completely fucking nuts and grows straight out of the Narwhal’s face.
and you thought hangnails were bad.
this tooth-turned-tusk is not exactly a compact accessory, either. this dental nightmare can be ten feet long, or over half again the length of the entire Narwhal! (imagine their toothpaste budget. yikes!) this tusk is light, flexible, and fairly sharp, though it’s too fragile for the Narwhal to use as a weapon. (humans sometimes make swords out of them, but these are really just for decoration. “hey, look at me! I have sword made out of whale face! fancy!”)
so what are these tusks actually used for, if they ain’t for stabbin’? well….
we don’t actually know for sure.
take note kids, there are still mysteries at large in the world.
scientists used to think that male Narwhals used these tusks to duel for females, but a) no one’s ever seen two Narwhals stabbing each other, b) the tusks are way too fragile for fighting anyway, and c) why would some female Narwhals have tusks, then? (unless WHALE LESBIANS). but recent studies have revealed that the tusk is just PACKED with nerve tissue, revealing a very surprising possible use for this overgrown tooth.
basically, scientists are now thinking that the Narwhal’s tusk may be an enormous antennae that can sense everything from pressure to water temperature and salinity. imagine if you knew every time the pack ice was about to freeze over because your tooth told you! it’s a pretty weird function, but it works just fine for the Narwhal.
if you ask real nice, they’ll give you the time and temperature.
this ability to sense when seawater is about to freeze would actually be very useful for the Narwhal, because they’re a bunch of ice-spiting daredevils even by arctic standards. Narwhals rely on pack ice to protect them from Killer Whales and Polar Bears, their main predators. And while scooting around under gigantic ice sheets is an effective way to keep predators off your defenseless fleshy tail, it can all go south pretty fast if your breathing holes freeze over unexpectedly.
but Narwhals are well-equipped for this icy lifestyle! aside from their wondrous tusks, they have a thick layer of blubber under their skin to keep them warm. a LOT of blubber. like, up to 40% of their entire body mass! they need the insulation, because they regularly dive nearly 5,000 feet into the frozen depths in search of the squid and deep-sea fish that they eat.
talk about a chilly lifestyle.
but let’s talk about unicorns for a bit! Europe has been obsessed with pointy magical horses since the Middle Ages, and they feature heavily in stories and art even today. of course, unicorns are a fake made-up animal and not real, but Middle-Ages Europeans didn’t know that. and it’s a factor that Norse traders, who damn well knew what a Narwhal was, took heavy advantage of.
Narwhal tusks sold as ‘unicorn horns’ were worth more than their weight in gold to European Royalty. seriously. in the 16th century, Queen Elizabeth I was given a carved and bejeweled Narwhal tusk ‘unicorn horn’ that was worth as much as an entire fucking castle at the time. Norse traders made out like bandits for CENTURIES, thanks to the Narwhal. I bet they laughed all the way to the bank.
not that Middle-Ages European Royalty didn’t deserve it.
but Narwhals aren’t doing so well these days, and it’s because they’re incredibly vulnerable to climate change. the sea ice is freezing over later and later every year, leaving Narwhal populations who depend on this ice cover vulnerable to predators and starvation.
there are still over 100,000 Narwhals in the northern seas, but these real-life sea unicorns need protection from climate change to continue to thrive. hopefully, humans can act soon enough to keep the arctic frozen and the Narwhal swimming free. because a world without Narwhals is not a world that I want to live in.
they’re better than unicorns because they’re real.
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thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series on my tumblr here, or check out the official archive at weirdbiology.com!
if you enjoy my work, maybe buy me a coffee and support Weird Biology!
and if you’d like to see exclusive Weird Biology content, check out my Patreon today!
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IMAGE SOURCES
img1- National Geographic img2- imgdealix img3- National Geographic Kids img4- Yandex.com img5- World Wildlife Fund img6- travelandliesure.com img7- Warped Speed img8- eclecticeccentricity
LIFE IN THE FAST LANE
in the market for some weird animal facts? well, I’m happy to oblige. you look like a discerning customer with a real need for speed, so allow me to introduce you to one of Nature’s finest sports models! they’re lean, they’re mean, and they can go 0-60 in 3 seconds flat! and boy, that engine really purrs.
put the pedal to the metal, because it’s-
CHEETAH! he can really move! CHEETAH! with anxious attitude! CHEETAH! HE’S THE FASTEST THING ALIIIIIIIIVE
Cheetahs are large spotty cats built along the same lines as a Greyhound. (the dog, not the bus.) they’re found throughout sub-Saharan Africa and some parts of Asia, where they sprint around like maniacs and pose for tourists to their heart’s content. at least 75% of every Cheetah is limbs by volume, and they sport a pair of iconic black tear track markings that would make Gerard Way jealous.
you’ve probably seen them before on junk food packaging in your local grocery store, but their real claim to fame is that they’re the fastest land animal on the entire planet. vroom vroom!
the whole Dangerously Cheesy thing is just a side job.
there’s a surprising amount of really dang fast animals on this planet, (most are mammals, but none of then are hedgehogs.) but the Cheetah has them all beat for sheer ground speed alone. other animals can run further or for longer, but none can match the Cheetah’s absolutely insane landspeed record of 61 to 70 miles per hour. (ish.)
that’s an absolutely absurd amount of speed for something that has paws instead of wheels or wings. in fact, that’s even faster than some creatures who DO have wings! (those creatures probably feel pretty bad right now, and they should.) to give some perspective: if you’re a Cheetah, it’s straight-up fucking illegal to sprint in almost all of Illinois. (good luck arresting a Cheetah though, they’re bitey!)
you have the right to OW you have the right to remain silent OW STOP BITING ME
while it’s a known fact that Cheetahs are THE fastest mammal currently in existence on our beautiful planet, exactly how fast they are is a subject of some debate and also some academic hair-pulling. (there’s a surprising amount of hair-pulling in academia, both figurative and literal.) this is because it’s actually pretty difficult to a) motivate any animal to sprint at full speed for your own personal amusement, and b) calculate exactly how fast said animal is moving once you’ve motivated it into sprint mode.
methods for clocking the speed of a sprinting Cheetah have included solutions as fancy-schmancy sciencetech as radio-tracking GPS collars, radar guns, and carefully measured artificial courses, and also solutions as straight-up mad max bullshit as driving next to the sprinting Cheetah in a rusted-out truck and just having an intern watch the speedometer, or dragging bait behind a speeding car and having a different intern watch the speedometer. these methods give some very different results, as you might imagine.
there’s a surprising amount of straight-up mad max bullshit in science, because fancy-schmany sciencetech can only get you so far.
Cheetahs can only sustain this absolutely insane burst of speed for about thirty seconds, but that’s more than long enough for their purposes. Cheetahs mostly hunt antelope, who are slower but definitely no slackers in the speed department themselves. this often leads to suspenseful high-speed chases all over the dang place like an episode of Serengeti: Cheetah Vice Squad.
once a Cheetah has located its intended victim, it uses its incredible speed to turbo boost close enough to Blue Shell the hapless antelope’s legs right out from under it, sending it tumbling and causing a tragic antelope-pileup on the Serengeti and probably ending up on the antelope evening news. and then just to add insult to injury, the Cheetah bites its neck open and eats it.
I’ve said it before, but nature is so mean. SO MEAN.
Cheetahs are the only big cat to have this particular hunting style, and it’s because there’s no other cats quite like them. they’re not even technically “big cats”, but something so weird that they have an entire genus, Acinonyx, completely to themselves. and they’re so weird because mother nature minimaxed them for Speed and dumped every other stat to do it.
Cheetahs are long, lanky, flexible, and very lightly built. this gives them the power to accelerate like a Ferrari on bath salts, but it also makes them really bad at basically anything else large cats are usually known for. Cheetahs also can’t roar, and instead they make noises usually associated with your garden-variety tabby cat. they chirp, meow, hiss, mew, and even purr! (I don’t know about you, but I’ll take a purr over a roar any day.)
literally everything about this cat is intended to fling it forward at the highest rate of giddyup possible, and I can respect that.
but this hyperspecialized body plan comes with a price: Cheetahs are relatively weak and incredibly fragile. in fact, they’re completely outmatched by just about every other predator in Africa! they get bullied, bodied, and have their kills stolen and cubs infanticided on a pretty regular basis. this is very sad and awful, and it’s why every Cheetah in existence is an anxious mess.
no seriously, Cheetahs are notoriously anxious animals, even in captivity! this is rough for the Cheetah and can be a huge problem for animals in zoos and breeding programs. but luckily there’s a solution to soothe these unlucky anxious kitties- support dogs!
enough talk about infanticide, time for PUPPIES!
some zoos have begun raising puppies and Cheetah kittens together, giving the Cheetahs a sibling with a more laissez faire outlook on life to look up to. and the weirdest part is- it’s working! Cheetahs in breeding programs that are given dog siblings are even beginning to have the cubs they were too nervous to have before, and it’s all thanks to the positive life outlook of man’s best friend!
and that’s important, because Cheetahs are currently listed as Vulnerable. their population and range is shrinking, and these captive breeding programs are vital to keeping their numbers healthy. international efforts are underway to protect the Cheetahs and their habitat, and there’s hope that these fragile nervous speedsters will continue to blitz their way into the future.
with dog, all things are possible.
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thanks for reading! you can find the rest of the Weird Biology series on my tumblr here, or check out the official archive at weirdbiology.com!
if you enjoy my work, maybe buy me a coffee and support Weird Biology!
and if you’d like to see exclusive Weird Biology content, check out my Patreon today!
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IMAGE SOURCES
img1- Parade img2- Ranger Rick img3- The Daily Mail/Caters News Agency img4- Sciencing img5- National Geographic img6- National Zoo img7- BoredPanda img8- Attractions Magazine
Hey just an idea but maybe instead of pushing veganism or vegetarianism on everyone in our society, we re-evaluate our society’s entire lifestyle and make changes to our individual lifestyles based on that because let’s be real: traditional veganism is not any better for the environment or physically healthier than eating animals products if you’re not doing your due diligence. By being conscientious about where all the products you buy are sourced, you can have a bigger positive impact than simply going vegan.
If you’re:
Eating sustainably/carbon negative farmed meat and/or hunting your own meat, and only eating wild caught fish
Not using sea salt due to its microplastics
Not using products containing palm oil
Eating your own cultivated organic fruit and vegetables or purchasing organic fruit/veggies
Buying honey from local beekeepers as well as having solitary bee hotels around your neighborhood
Not buying new plastic or reusing and recycling that little plastic you inevitably still have
Not purchasing brand new electronics unless 100% necessary
Buying leather or suede second hand instead of purchasing PU leather, and in general trying to purchase second hand clothes rather than buying new
Mostly using cheese and milk from a variety of animals that have lower carbon emissions than cows, ie Sheep and Goat milk
Participating in a city wide composting scheme so your food waste doesn’t go into the landfill and end up producing methane
Donating to lobbyist groups that advocate for the elimination of non-recyclable and non-compostable plastics as well as for the elimination of pesticides and toxic fertilizers
Reducing your carbon footprint by only using public transport or an electric/hybrid car
Collecting rainwater when possible
Choosing not to embalm when burying passed loved ones
Buying or making your own biodegradable soaps instead of purchasing soaps with pollutants and microplastics
Tending to eat local/native grains instead of buying grains from far away places where labor is cheap, and the nutritious food (quinoa for example) is exported rather than eaten by locals
Buying second hand furniture or only purchasing furniture that is made of solid wood and eco friendly materials instead of buying laminate and plastic furniture
Buying bamboo toothbrushes and hairbrushes instead of plastic ones
Buying personal items like bedding and underwear and sneakers and you opt for bamboo based materials instead of polyester, this goes for your mattress as well since you can buy bamboo based foam mattresses
Picking up litter you see on the street
Not smoking cigarettes due to the plastic in them nor vaping from single use cartridges
Volunteering for community wide eco-education
Doing any other eco-friendly lifestyle choice not mentioned...
... You are making a bigger impact on the world than anyone choosing to make a single change to their lifestyle like going vegan. Becoming carbon neutral and making choices that encourage carbon neutrality makes more of a difference than one single lifestyle change. Switching to an electric vehicle is meaningless if you still buy from companies using herbicides and pesticides. Eating organic is still not good enough if you let your food go to waste in a landfill. Choosing locally sourced honey over agave makes a difference (supporting small beekeepers will help maintain local bee populations). Choosing locally hunted meat over quinoa for protein makes a difference (deer populations have grown exponentially due to smaller wolf populations, and you can help your local ecology by hunting and eating them or buying from local deer hunters) but make sure that that is the right choice for you. Furthermore, something you would think is silly and unimportant, like buying wild caught fish instead of inorganic tofu can actually make a difference. Every choice you make has an impact and/or consequences. Unfortunately, it’s sometimes hard to know which choice is best, especially because we have so much misinformation on how to make the right choices. The only solution therefore, is to learn about your community and the environment in which you live. Educating oneself on which choices are best for themselves and their community’s lifestyle is something that very few people will ever take the time to do, even though it is something we really need to start doing. Buying organic fresh fruit and veg may be good for a community living in a perennially warm environment, but if you’re in a colder climate, in winter, when berries are out of season, buying organic fruits and veg might not be the best option since they’re likely to be imported via airplanes not only contributing to carbon emissions but also, they are likely to be much more expensive and unaffordable to the majority of the community. Similarly, in some parts of the world, cows milk might be the most affordable and environmentally friendly milk option, while in another part of the world, goat or sheep’s milk might be the more environmentally friendly and affordable option (side note: almond milk is almost universally never environmentally friendly, soy milk is really quite bad for you, so please choose organic rice (almost never brown rice though due to the high amounts of arsenic) or organic oat milk if you cannot have regular milk. Bonus enviro points to you if you make your own oat or rice milk btw!). So, do your research and then: use your spare time to educate your community and spread your new knowledge about how to make good ecological and health choices, call friends and family out if you see them littering or doing something wasteful, do what you can with your money to support local companies being proactively environmentally friendly, and use the power of your vote to support policies and politicians that will eventually force stagnant industries and corporations to become at the least: carbon neutral.
Dm me if you want some more interesting enviro food facts btw! There’s a whole arsenal of knowledge that I can give you!
Have fun learning to change the world folks!!
“worm” = some little wet tube who lives in ground & eat dirt
Those of you without your glasses on may be asking: "why are there fruit gummies on this leaf?"
The answer: these are some absolutely stunning Glass Frogs! You can see straight through these little dudes' skin!
paleontologist: can you draw this extinct reptile we just described?
paleoartist: that’s what i do!
paleontologist: it’s canadian make sure it looks canadian.
paleoartist: say no more
Any time someone tells me birds aren’t descended from dinosaurs, I show them this.
chiggins in the sun
every time I start thinking about lepidodendrons I always end up thinking about what it would be like to Jurassic Park one back to life and settle the 10099880 questions about how they existed once and for all
Whenever I see a stingray skeleton I’m like oh that’s just one of those fake Target Halloween decorations like the skeleton spiders and shit but NO stingrays are actually Like That and it is concerning