Current BMI 25.2

The saddest moment is going to self harm and realising you have to look for clean skin to cut...

Didn’t get anywhere this week again, tried breaking gym plateau with high cal restriction but that didn’t work, but we’re lower than last week so that’s cool.

Egh I’ve hit a plateau and keep jumping around the 72kg mark and it’s making me want to kms

Any tips of getting out??

I’m not usually scared of liquid calories but today I had 2 McDonald’s coffee frappe (no whipped cream and no chocolate drizzle) but I’m still fuxking scared of how many calories I had today even tho I only ate 200 calories.

I’m not usually this scared of liquid cals, I avoid them where I can but I’ve got my safe drinks which is caramel latte (120 cals wit milk) and McDonald’s coffee frappe (no cream or chocolate) (400 cals) which usually make me happy and not give me a panic attack like they did today. I’ve had so many calories today it’s not funny and I’m positive I’m gonna gain weight!

I just want to throw myself of a bridge for letting myself have this many calories, it’s like I want to stay fat at this point.

I’m so over myself and I just want this to end

I want to look as sick as my thoughts

of course it’s “all in my head”, have you ever seen anyone having depression on their leg?

i never regret the meals i didn’t eat, only the ones i did.

problems of anas starting at an actual obese weight

-your lowest weight is other peoples highest.

-people never noticing that you don’t eat due to your weight.

-ACTUALLY being medically fat, not just feeling fat.

-having legitimate problems working out (knees can’t handle all the weight, asthma, etc)

-”you probably shouldn’t eat that, should you?” when taking your first bite of a remotely unhealthy food in MONTHS.

-losing over 70lbs and still not be close to ‘thin’.

-thinner anas looking down on you because you’re not skinny enough. (actually happened)

-thinner anas telling you to ‘stop starving yourself’ or ‘turn back before you get sick’ when you’ve actually been doing this longer than them.

-MORE SIDE EFFECTS!

-being petty and offended when people half your size call themselves fat in front of you, well knowing you weigh twice as much as them. (this is a personal problem but still)

-actually being happy to be at a NORMAL weight for once. 

-”MY BMI IS FINALLY UNDER 25!”

-lower chances of actually hitting your ugw because your body literally can’t lose more.

-LOOSE SKIN. L O T S OF IT. 

-knowing you’ve lost more than most of the fellow anas, but not being able to talk about it because your cw isn’t low enough just yet.

so shoutout to all the bigger people with anorexic tendencies, because they deserve way more. because they’ve gone through this pain for so long without enough recognition. because within the ana community, they’re often not even acknowledged. because THEY ARE VALID TOO. 

i started at over 250lbs and hit my first plateau at 149, so i do have a right to complain, thank you very much. (i’m just over 5′4. just imagine.)

Does anyone else just scroll through food posts for hours on end?