“How Arw You Paying For Photoshop” Im Not LMAO

This lamp absorbs 150 times more CO2 than a tree

It’s still in the “so crazy it just might work” stage, but these microalgae-powered lamps, invented by French biochemist Pierre Calleja, could absorb a ton of carbon from the air every year. That’s as much as 150 to 200 trees. [x]

Humans Are Weird

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

This teacher taught students the choreography from “Thriller.” I’ve watched this four times and I’m still smiling.

Old hag by *veprikov

Being a witch is not the highest paid job in the world.

ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:

bought a really nice looking fountain pen

that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard

this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do

it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen

i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know

it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it

i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories

holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure

i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)

i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa

i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity

bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit

extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else

i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus

“That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”

bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better

i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation

no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out

when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious

at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best

Ok but AU where Madam Yu kills Wen Zhuliu and Wang LingJiao before they could signal for the rest of the Wen troops. This gives the Jiang more time to prepare for the oncoming war that must be waged. Madam Yu becomes the general and steps out in front of her army to lead them and Jiang FengMian comes back only after everyone has already begun preparing for battle. Of course, he aids his wife but Madam Yu is the one largely in control of it. Jiang FengMian dies in battle as they take down the Wen. Wei Wuxian still uses Demonic Cultivation but not because it’s his only option but because he’s been dabbling for a while and so he uses a combo of regular and demonic cultivation. Jin GuangYao still kills Wen Ruohan and the Wen are taken down. 

Jiang Cheng rises as sect leader in the aftermath with his mom at his side guiding him and fighting alongside him. She is even harsher on Wei Wuxian now with Jiang FengMian dead but Wei Wuxian for once in his life keeps his mouth shut and bears it. When the Jin try to round up those Wen who took no part in the war, Wei Wuxian requests from Jiang Cheng and Madam Yu that they do something about it. Madam Yu is strict, cold, and terrifying but she does not believe in hurting or killing innocent people. With the Jiang sect backing him, Wei Wuxian is able to take the remainder of the Wen to Yiling and them up there. He still adopts A Yuan and still uses demonic cultivation but with the Jiang sect standing behind him, there’s not much the rest of the cultivation world can do. Madam Yu might despise that brand of cultivation but she knows that it is what helped them win and is their secret weapon, so if it saves her children and her people she is willing to turn a blind eye for the moment. That is just as long as he keeps it away from her children and doesn’t use it on them which Wei Wuxian quickly agrees to. 

The Jin under Jin GuangShan turn on the Jiang because of this and they try to frame Wei Wuxian for a bunch of crimes and murders. Jiang Cheng stands by his brother and surprisingly so does the Lan Sect. It’s unexpected but welcomed especially because the Twin Jades of Lan are equal in power and strength and ability to the Twin Heroes of Jiang. Jiang Yanli doesn’t fight wars but uses her budding romance with Jin Zixuan to go undercover in the Jin Sect. People think that she’s just pretty and docile but they don’t realize that she’s her mother’s daughter. She is a proud Jiang and will do whatever she can for her family and her sect. Using a secret code, she sends messages to Madam Yu. To anyone else it would just look like she was telling her mother about her romance with Jin Zixuan or the gardens or daily events. But the reality was that those letters held many secrets that give the Jiang and Lan the upper hand in the fight. 

Jin GuangShan dies in battle and Jin Zixuan rises as Sect Leader. Immediately, he surrenders and backs down from the fight which angers some but many more are just relieved to finally have a breath from fighting. After the many months of really getting to know Jiang YanLi, he realized he loved her and understood her cause and that the war between sects really was doing more harm than good for their people. Jin Zixun and Jin GuangYao are still furious about this development. The former because he hates Wei Wuxian with a passion but the latter because that foils his original plan to frame Wei Wuxian and rise to power.  

Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan get married and the Yunmeng bros learn to shut their mouths because their sister is happy. It turns out that Jin Zixuan is actually not that bad when he isn’t trying to prove that he’s the best thing in the world. He loves his new wife and treats her well. Even going as far as to make a lotus pond for him with his own hands. Their romance is not a tragic one this time. They have a son, Jin Ling about a year into their marriage and Wei Wuxian this time around does not kill his brother-in-law on the way to the one-month party. When he goes, he brings the gift that he made that would keep Jin Ling safe from curses and such. He also brings A Yuan, who has dubbed himself Wei Yuan, after being adopted by the man. Ever the sweet boy, he is excited to have a little cousin and tells his family that the two of them are going to be like the Twin Heroes of Jiang. Madam Yu even has a soft spot for him. They do in fact grow up close and have a similar relationship to Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian. A few years later, Jin Ling will have a little sister who he adores above all else and she will become a cultivator too.

They grow into the big happy family that they all deserve. 

Through all of this Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have sidestepped their budding romance to the point that it’s eventually Madam Yu who steps in. She sits down with Lan Qiren, Lan Xichen, and Jiang Cheng and the five of them discuss WangXian. Since the two clans had such a good alliance in their fight first against the Wen and then again with the Jin, it’s decided that someone from each clan should marry. Jiang YanLi married Jin Zixuan and smoothed over that sect relation due to her love, they don’t really have any options. It’s unorthodox but it’s decided that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji will be married. The two are happy that they’ll have the other but also sad because they think that the other doesn’t really love them. But they feel that they must do the duty for their sects. 

WangXian get married and A Yuan even takes part in the wedding. Part of the agreement for them getting married is that they split their time between Yiling and The Cloud Recesses. This works out well for a while. Yiling and the remainder of the Wen begin to prosper. People like Jin Zixun are furious about this and he leads a raid on the new town. Wei Wuxian rushes there to try to protect them since none of them except Wen Ning and Wen Qing have experience fighting and Wei Yuan is still a child. He ends up getting severely hurt and Wen Ning and Wen Qing take care of him the best that they can. Lan Wangji eventually gets there after dropping A Yuan with Lan Xichen for protection. When he gets to Wei Wuxian, he sees him beaten and in a coma from exhausting his spiritual power. Night and day he does not leave his side. He plays his guqin for hours on end. 

Wei Wuxian wakes up to A Yuan curled in his arms and a beautiful song being played by Lan Wangji in the background. He also in the background hears Jiang Cheng fighting with Wen Qing about the care his brother deserves. Jiang YanLi comes in with her famous soup husband and kids in tow. He aches and is exhausted but it’s in this moment that he realized he is truly blessed and he can’t help the stray tears that fall. Even Madam Yu glaring at him from the side of the room makes him happy. He lost his parents so early and fought so hard to prove himself but now everything’s come together. It’s after this that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji finally talk about how much they love each other. Wei Wuxian in halting, stumbling words and Lan Wangji in rushed, flowing prose. 

Evil rises and falls but the extended Wei-Lan-Jiang-Jin family is ready.

someone help me find that image of 4 cats being held up in front of a brightly coloured background. the cats look calm being held but each have their own personality

Some tips on eating as a poor person that aren't "live on dry beans and rice that take time and effort to make"

Food Banks Exist For YOU!! I don't need one anymore but am so thankful for them. You may hesitate to go to them bc you don't think you need it as badly as others... but from someone who spent years with their dad going to several, the food is there and they want to help. It isn't embarrassing; the people who volunteer are doing it for a reason, and ime treat you as a shopper, not a charity case. There are sites to find food banks. If you go to one, they usually have pamphlets for all the ones in the area. We never had to prove income or anything like that. They want to help, I promise.

If there's a local farmer's market, check to see if they have a subsidy program for people on food stamps. Another thing my dad and I used. At two separate markets 5 hrs apart, both had a program where you could DOUBLE your food stamp money in farmer's market coupons. Healthy, fresh, local, ethically raised food for less than the grocery store

If you go to a store more than once in a blue moon get the discount/membership/whatever card. It's usually super easy and almost always saves you a LOT of money

When in a supermarket, look at price per ounce if comparing items. Do not look at total price vs visual package size. Companies are experts at packing less and less food into larger packages. Grocery stores with a price per oz on the tags are so so helpful, but if they don't, sometimes it honestly makes a difference to use your phone calculator

CHECK IF YOU HAVE AN ALDI IN YOUR AREA. They sell actual seriously good, usually healthy food way cheaper than crappy stuff at other stores. This is for a lot of reasons I won't get into. But, it's also just a more ethical system for their workers, who make well above minimum wage. Aldi is Life. Tip: if you don't have reusable bags, keep an eye out for empty boxes as you shop. They don't bag anything for you.

BIG LOTS or other similar clearance/discount stores. They get an ever-changing stock of things at deep discounts. Lots of nice luxury and/or healthy groceries at half price as well as your normal staples. Also my go-to for home items and pet supplies

Shop Sales. This one is obvious to some but others just aren't in the habit. I almost exclusively buy things on sales where I save at least 1/3, usually 1/2. You can have a fully stocked pantry and freezer and spend half as much as if you only buy things when you want to eat that particular thing. It does mean less fresh food, but y'know. Just develop a laser eye for a sale tag and know where the clearance section is. Second nature to people who grew up poor but I was amazed shopping with college friends who bought full price name brand food and had trouble paying rent

I haven't done this but my brother swears by it. He went in with a few friends on a communal Costco membership. Could also do this with Sam's Club. They shop together, and then split bulk items if there's a great deal on something one person couldn't eat on their own. Bulk is the way to go if you can find a way to have the up-front cash. Impossible for many which is why the communal thing is so genius!

If this helps even one person it was worth writing out! I've realized last year, I learned a Lot growing up under the poverty line. It doesn't just appear in your brain when you're 22 and can't pay your bills for the first time.

Please feel free to add other tips if you have them. Just don't shame people for eating what they choose to eat like those "vegan dollar cookbooks" or whatever.

the thing all sherlock holmes adaptations get wrong is making the guy an irredeemable asshole who treats everyone like shit . not only is it not reflective of the original stories they miss that “nice, smart, well mannered dude who snorts coke when he needs to think” is possibly the funniest character ever devised 

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