When Hozier Said “the Likes Of A Darkness So Deep That God At The Start Couldn’t Bear” And When

an incomplete list of unsettling short stories I read in textbooks

the scarlet ibis

marigolds

the diamond necklace

the monkey’s paw

the open boat

the lady and the tiger

the minister’s black veil

an occurrence at owl creek bridge

a rose for emily

(I found that one by googling “short story corpse in the house,” first result)

the cask of amontillado

the yellow wallpaper

the most dangerous game

a good man is hard to find

some are well-known, some obscure, some I enjoy as an adult, all made me uncomfortable between the ages of 11-15

add your own weird shit, I wanna be literary and disturbed

Hunger Games didn’t really eat holes in my brain the way that it did for some other people but god the opening lines. The opening lines. Katniss wakes up in bed and immediately, instinctively reaches beside her, only to find the bed empty and cold. Before we even know her name – before we know literally anything about her or this world or her place in that world – we know that she loves someone. We know that she is reaching for where Prim should be, sleeping safe and warm beside her, but Prim is not there. She is not there, and her half of the bed is cold and empty. People talk about characters being “doomed by the narrative” when most of the time the character was literally just a well-foreshadowed death, but Prim WAS doomed by the narrative. It’s the very first thing we learned. It’s the most key, integral, important piece of information we’re given about everything that is about to happen: Every single choice Katniss makes is to protect her little sister, and it isn’t enough. In the end, Prim still dies. Prim was dead before the story even started. Katniss, reaching. Prim’s side of the bed was cold and empty. There is no version of this story where Prim could have been saved. Katniss, reaching. The very first thing she does in the series. She wakes, and she reaches, but Prim is already gone. THAT is how you do Doomed By The Narrative. Edit: Also it is key that there was literally nothing Katniss could have done differently. If she had not acted to save Prim, Prim would not have survived the Hunger Games. But by acting to save Prim, Katniss accidentally kicked off an entire rebellion and ultimately massively increased the amount of danger Prim was actually in. The key is that this is irrelevant. If Katniss had done literally anything differently, Prim still would have died. If Katniss had faltered or changed course at any point, Prim still would have died. There was never a point where Katniss could have changed Prim’s fate. There’s no version of this story where Prim lives to see the end of it. She’s dead before the story begins. That’s doomed by the narrative.

I wish that ao3 had an option to filter warnings (and tbh certain authors) out like I will never ever want to read it and just seeing it puts me off so much that often I end up closing my browser because that content upsets me so much lmao

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Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

Short stories that live in my head rent free and make me go a little crazy:

The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman (horror)

Lamb to The Slaughter by Roald Dahl (horror)

We Ate The Children Last by Yann Martel (satire/horror)

The Empty Prison by Matt Dymerski (horror)

The October Game by Ray Bradbury (horror)

I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison (horror/sci-fi)

A Good Man Is Hard To Find by Flannery O'Connor (horror)

The Last Question by Isaac Asimov (sci-fi)

friendly reminder that findtags is the best way to search tumblr’s absolutely destroyed tag system. it actually accurately looks through the tags without omitting results. it’s the only thing i use at this point because it’s the only thing that works

New Things to Beware on the Internet

On May 3rd, Google released 8 new top-level domains (TLDs) -- these are new values like .com, .org, .biz, domain names. These new TLDs were made available for public registration via any domain registrar on May 10th.

Usually, this should be a cool info, move on with your life and largely ignore it moment.

Except a couple of these new domain names are common file type extensions: ".zip" and ".mov".

This means typing out a file name could resolve into a link that takes you to one of these new URLs, whether it's in an email, on your tumblr blog post, a tweet, or in file explorer on your desktop.

What was previously plain text could now resolve as link and go to a malicious website where people are expecting to go to a file and therefore download malware without realizing it.

Folk monitoring these new domain registrations are already seeing some clearly malicious actors registering and setting this up. Some are squatting the domain names trying to point out what a bad idea this was. Some already trying to steal your login in credentials and personal info.

This is what we're seeing only 12 days into the domains being available. Only 5 days being publicly available.

What can you do? For now, be very careful where you type in .zip or .mov, watch what website URLs you're on, don't enable automatic downloads, be very careful when visiting any site on these new domains, and do not type in file names without spaces or other interrupters.

I'm seeing security officers for companies talking about wholesale blocking .zip and .mov domains from within the company's internet, and that's probably wise.

Be cautious out there.

100 prompts list

so this is the prompts list! If you want to request an imagine just say what ideas and prompts you want in it (you don’t have to have one of the prompts if you don’t want, though) and what boy you want it to be for! We will try to write what you are imagining for your request. you can also request for us to make another part to any imagine you’d like :)

“Everyone keeps telling me your the bad guy.”

“If I ever see you anywhere near her/him, you’ll have to deal with me.”

“H-how long have you been standing there?”

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

“When are you going to realize I don’t care?”

“Who gave you that black eye?!”

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“Don’t say you love me.”

“It’s a hobby of mine to prove you wrong.”

“If you don’t want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don’t just lie and say it’s fine.”

“Stop staring at me.”

“I said, I don’t know anything.”

“If you think I’ll believe you again…”

“You think it’s a bit…much?”

“Call me that one more time, see what happens.”

“Put some clothes on for the love of God.”

“It’s pitch black and I can still see you blushing.”

“Am I supposed to be scared of you?”

“I don’t hate you, I just don’t particularly like you.”

“I was so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”

“Because I love you, you asshole!”

“Come over here and make me.”

“Excuse me, has he 12:15 bus come yet?”

“Oh my god! You’re in love with him!”

“Squeeze me hand if you can hear me.”

“Can you two please get a room?”

“I’ll do it. If you do something for me.”

“I have a name and it’s not sweetheart.”

“Take a breath, you can do this.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I hate how much I care about you.”

“You’re kind of turning me on.”

“Please, don’t leave.”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“Please, shut up so I can kiss you.”

“I broke my rules for you.”

“Dammit, are you drunk?”

“Just sleep in my damn shirt.”

“I’d do anything for you despite how much you piss me off.”

“Sorry, I can’t trust anyone that looks good with a bed head.”

“Kill me now, because I’m so done with saving myself.”

“Stay. I need you more than you think.”

“Don’t say a word and just dance with me.”

“And suddenly, we were strangers again.”

“Nobody wants me, not even myself.”

“You have no idea who I am, do you?”

“You think you can control me now? You never could.”

“Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”

“If I could, I would kiss away all your scars.”

“I think I might be falling in love with you.”

“Your lips are so soft. I could kiss them all day.”

“Mmmm… you’re warm.”

“It’s not bad to cry. I’m fact, I think it makes a person stronger.”

“You’re cute when you’re half asleep like this.”

“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want is a drink and someone to cuddle with.”

“Shhh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay? None of it was real.”

“Open the fucking door!”

“You have something in your hair…um- do you want me to get it out?”

“I want to take a shower so you should probably join me so we can save water.”

“You’re/we’re just not the same anymore.”

“It’s past midnight! Where the hell were you?”

“What the hell is your problem?!”

“You can’t keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won’t do any good.”

“I love you/hate you! Sorry it took me so damn long to realize that!”

“You lost your chance.”

“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“I’m done trying to help you!”

“Sorry doesn’t fix anything.”

“I tried to move on, but nobody is you.”

“Can I at least buy you a coffee, for old times sake?”

“It’s not that hard! Just put your hands on ten and two and push the gas peddle!”

“Maybe I’m just meant to be alone.”

“Isn’t this, like, illegal?”

“You’re really drunk right now. I don’t think you want to do this.”

“It isn’t anyone’s fault. Sometimes love just changes.”

“Stay, for me.”

“You know I have feelings for you.”

“Why the fuck are you doing this to me?”

“Yeah, I remember the drill.”

“What keeps you up at night?”

“I wish you were here.”

“I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.”

“Is it so wrong for me to want to save you?”

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Is that a blood stain?!”

“I let people down, it’s what I do.”

“You can spend the night, if you want.”

“I brought food.”

“I just want you to be happy.”

“This has to stay between us.”

“Take me home. Now.”

“I’m trying to get work done.”

“Do you believe/you don’t believe in love?”

“Just hold my hand, please.”

“We were supposed to leave, like, ten minutes ago.”

“Backseats aren’t nearly as comfortable as movies make them out to be.”

“Trust me, I know what I’m doing. Mostly.”

“We could…you know, go together, if you wanted.”

Here's uBlock Origin's official guide to bypassing youtube's anti-adblock popups, updated weekly. Please share widely. Don't reward google for their predatory anti-consumer bullshit

To summarize: 1. Get uBlock Origin and make sure it's updated to the latest version. 2. Click on the gear icon to get to the dashboard, go to "Filter lists", and make sure that "uBlock filters - Quick fixes" is up to date

Repeat those steps any time you get another popup (google and uBlock are having an arms race right now so it might stop working at any moment), and if you have any more problems, read the reddit thread for troubleshooting advice

“Tenochtitlan,” by Elisa Chavez.

Cortes’ men thought the Mexica’s floating city must be a dream: stone temples jutting from the water, voracious bright gardens and grand estates.

My sun-worshipping ancestors kept their gods close, heeded their rapt whispers. In their names, they built marvelous canals and walked on the waters.

It shouldn’t then surprise that artists have tried to recapture Tenochtitlan, brooding on the dream journals of Spaniards: they imagine her bright causeways, the lush gardens paving her streets like enchantments.

The Spanish, steely god-mongers that they were, knew well how to deal with enchantment: They burned Tenochtitlan to ash.

Leí que los Mexica ahogaban a mujeres de cercanos pueblos para apaciguar a la diosa de las lluvias. Su templo mayor tenía dos estantes de cráneos.

Mis antepasados que adoraban al sol mantenían a sus dioses cerca, escuchando a sus voces rapaces. En sus nombres, perpetraban maravillas y atrocidades.

No debe sorprender entonces que los pueblos a fuera de Tenochtitlan les daron la bienvenida a cualquiera que prometiera un final al sol cruel, las flores mentirosas, los aguas pavimentados con los huesos de tributas.

El dios de los Hispanos fue el oro, y él les mandó a quemar Tenochtitlan, enviándola para reunirse con las doncellas ahogadas.

Is this translation inaccurate? You bet! Miss Translated is a meditation on culture, identity, and the things that get lost in translation by Elisa Chavez. To support this project, check out my Patreon.