Satisfied With His Answer, Lili Only Beams In Response. Maybe She Should Call It Luck That The Cameras

and lili did not know what she was doing — alas, before she had known it, a day had become five. five had become ten and oh, time in the poisoned gardens had gone so fast that lili hadn’t the slightest clue just how fast it had come to her twentieth day. “is that so …” she trails off, trying to recount just how long she’s been there, only to come up short. had it really been twenty days already? it had only felt like yesterday she had arrived with a sick feeling burrowing deep into her stomach. 

“but it’s nothing bad, right?” suddenly, she feels her heart quicken; there was no telling how much, nor how long the poison had accumulated within her. time had become a construct of a consciousness lili had retired from the moment she had stepped foot into the gardens. “right … i mean, i think i feel fine. don’t i look fine?”

the sap brings her back to the present, if not momentarily; pulling the other along, quick hurriedly around the bend where she had first hid from the girl. the tree from where the sap had come from had risen high above their heads but its branches sagged to their ankles, kissing their feet with their leaves. the sap she had been snacking on the past few days lay from a part of the tree lili had punctured with her zan.

“i do?” the answer comes off a string of her own slurred speech, replying to miyu a beat too late — after having mumbled through her own set of confusion. “i guess i don’t feel well. i’ve been feeling sick to my stomach since i got here but it comes and goes so i haven’t been thinking much of it. oh no — miyu! what do i do, am i going to die?” the panic sets in, a brazen trail of fear striking her heart and running her hands cold as she grasps onto miyu, a mere whisper of her words as she tries to calm herself albeit failing as she looks to the other girl. “is there something we can do?” 

"the most pleasant of surprises," miyu's laughter rings throughout the garden. "it's nice to see you again, promise."

it's hard to keep up with what lili is saying, her words coming out too fast. it's a bit concerning, really. miyu's brow forms a crease.

"you don't know? supposedly after spending twenty days in the garden you develop some kind of poison immunity," she tells lili. "it's not forbidden, but i wouldn't recommend it unless you know what you're doing," miyu frowns, wondering why it seemed like the other wanted to stay in the garden for an extended period of time.

"that must have been the sap i was looking for! you'll have to show me where you found it, but, lili, are you . . . " she trails off, biting her lip trying to find the right words. "are you okay? you seem," she pauses for a moment, looking into the other's eyes. "you seem, off, like something's wrong."

FILE: XU LILI _ MODEL PORTFOLIO

THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE YOUR IMAGE .

chic, cool, luxurious

THREE WORDS TO DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY .

cold, confident, passionate

THREE INTERESTS OF YOURS .

high fashion, nail art, hair care

THREE SPECIAL SKILLS .

crying on command (crocodile tears), nail art,  korean/mandarin tongue twisters

WHICH COLOR WOULD YOU GIVE TO YOUR AURA .

#5D3FD3, purple

THREE PRODUCTS THAT FIT YOUR IMAGE .

fashion, hair care, travel/tourism

THREE PRODUCTS THAT DON’T FIT YOUR IMAGE .

food products, camping, sports

fun was not the word that could explain her mood but she supposes it was the best way to … levy the anguish that was swirling inside her. if she had expected anyone to stop her, such a feat goes without notice, their presence easily slipping through the doors like sand between ones fingers; quick, hard to hold onto and without fail, easy to miss. 

lili knew she would hear no end of it later but she didn’t care about that, at least not now.

for the remainder of her birthday, lili wanted it to be about her.

and rather than wallow at home, moping about another failed birthday, she mulls jisoo’s suggestion with a tilt of her head; bracing the new year’s cold with a quick tug of her jacket around her shoulders. “what do you have in mind?” the night was still young but — it was the beginning of the new year, what were the odds somewhere had room to accommodate them?

it really didn't feel like a birthday dinner at all, and it makes jisoo think that they ought to rewind a few days and have had a mutual celebration instead. it's not too late, considering how its going. belated never hurt anyone ( well, on paper. but with lili, it could always play out to be a different story ) but anything seems to be better than this. the whole event was decorated as a farce for lili's birthday but the charade did not match. the memo was missed. and no birthday cake even!

jisoo is dressed for the occasion but the celebratory part seems to be amiss as he sat for majority of the eve, legs crossed and observant at the lack of anything truly happening. trying to stay quiet through the droll of speeches, there was only so many bathroom and water breaks he could take while not ditching his friend's side.

"yes, time does fly when you're.... having fun." he clears his throat, glancing at his watch. "i think it is time to head out. if you'll excuse us," his family did have a dog, settling perfectly at home with his parents, but it would be well-suited as an excuse if anyone asked for proof of photos. he hadn't brought anything with him that wasn't already on his body, lest his coat so with that in hand, he is already on tailspin on the way out. he prefers to have lili go ahead of him, in case anyone starts asking about why they were leaving so early, or that they not ought to go.

only when they're out of earshot, and sight and having turned the corner, jisoo glances at lili fully first before opening his mouth again. a conversation with her at times could be described as standing in the middle of a fork. which way to go? "would you rather head home or be on autopilot and we still end up celebrating your birthday a little more quietly between the two of us? we're already out and dressed for it."

she doubts it — but lili should be thankful for zoe’s optimism. it might be the only thing keeping her hopeful for the rest of the day until the ride home. just a couple more hours and they were home free — at least, this is what lili thought.

lili was not a work with what’s available but god told her beggars could not be choosers — and it is only today that she realizes the truth of those exact words. with a grim smile and a hand to hide it she feigns a dramatic sigh before falling onto zoe’s shoulder, “don’t worry, zoe, once we get back, you’ve got a ginseng chicken soup with your name on it on my dime, i swear it.”

only a couple more hours, she tells herself, and lili is near ready to  buy their whole dormitory soup if she needs to speed up the process. sitting up straight, she raises a brow, genuinely pondering what part of the weekend that she enjoyed — sparingly — there were times here and there she liked, if she truly could get out of her nitpicking ways to admit it. 

“mm,” she thinks for a minute longer because it was genuinely that hard for her to find some part of the weekend she actually found enjoyable — because knowing lili, this weekend was not her top ten — nor top one hundred — best picks of a good time. “spending time with you and jiah, i guess. but like —“ she lowers her voice to a whisper, a hand raised to cover her lips lest their be lip-readers in their midst. “i already hang out with you guys back home and at least there we have cell service.” before dropping her hand. “but i guess the chickens were kinda cute — smelly, but cute. kinda like you.” she laughs before pinching the other’s cheek, “kidding but you definitely did stink after friday.” 

— 🐰 » 

Zoe watched Lili with a mix of amusement and concern, noting the exhaustion etched in her friend's features despite her attempts to maintain a smile. Being on their feet for hours wasn't easy, especially when trying to promote something as seemingly mundane as soap bars at a fair.

"Grace, indeed," Zoe replied, her accent softening with empathy. She could sense Lili's frustration, the subtle strain in her voice as she talked about luck. Zoe leaned more toward believing in hard work, but she understood how luck could sometimes sway things.

Zoe chuckled and shook her head. "Well, you're so right there, but I guess we'll just have to work with what's available. Who knows, maybe we'll be pleasantly surprised today," she said optimistically to Lili's mention of the disappointing food, though she shared her doubts about the culinary offerings.

The mention of ginseng chicken soup brought a wistful smile to Zoe's face. "That does sound amazing," she agreed, imagining the warmth of the soup on a chilly day like today. "But hey, even if the food isn't great, at least we have each other's company," she added, playfully nudging Lili.

Zoe's gaze softened as she looked at her friend, silently offering her support. "Hey, amidst all this chaos, did you manage to enjoy any part of the day?" she asked, genuinely interested in hearing Lili's perspective.

she knows what they’re looking for — it was kind of hard not to know. it’s the usual: creative beyond your means, doing what no one has ever done before — that kind of thing, making a mark for yourself out of the box you called home. 

however, for lili — she hardly cared about the creative process. for lili: it was probably beyond her and her expertise. as long as the song or the choreography didn’t make her look like a laughing stock, she was fine doing something that someone else had put their blood, sweat and tears into engineering.

but now, as she puts her own blood, sweat and tears into whatever this could be — it exhausts her, and she’s ready to take a quick way out; but not before making sure that whatever the fuck this came to be didn’t look like she just pulled it from the depths of who knows where. 

“nah, nonsense — all i need is a new eye.” ( and unwarranted, half-hearted praise ) “i’m trying to match the beat but i feel like it’s coming off as stiff.” and it probably is considering this was far out of lili’s line of comfort. 

playing the song from her phone, lili lets lovely filter out into the quiet. with the help — and a healthy bribe — from one of the other trainees who had skillfully isolated the metronome in the song, she was concentrated on hitting with each move is louder than the mellowed songstress who was mumbling in the background but each move she did felt weird — disconnected, and as she does these movements before rua’s eyes, they feel even more amplified as wrong. 

“god, it looks silly, doesn’t it?”

honestly speaking, rua wasn't that interested in choreographing.

thinking about having to come up with different steps and moves then combining them into something that'd be presentable as a full dance is a tall wall she's not sure she wants to try scaling - but as it goes with all things she's taken on since becoming a trainee, she's at least open to trying. she'll never know if she might end up liking something if she doesn't give it a chance so when it was basically a requirement to focus on their personal creative skills, rua chose what she felt were the most appealing to her out of the given options.

still, she wasn't quite confident in what she picked; it showed in how she had absolutely no idea what she should be doing but not wanting to appear like she needed to be hand-held through the entire thing, rua opted for googling choreography tips and looking up videos on youtube for ideas and inspiration in the corner of the practice room she had claimed for herself. no one had to know, right?

that is, until she hears someone calling her name which causes her to look up from her phone in surprise, as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have. when she processes that the person--whom she remembers (hopefully, correctly) to be another trainee named lili--who said her name was not trying to expose her and instead, was asking for her advice on something, rua feels a small sense of relief - but only a little bit and the feeling doesn't last for long either.

she's not sure how much valuable input she can give considering she was just searching everything up a mere moment ago but rua doesn't want others to find that out. so she smiles and says, "i don't know how much i can help but sure," before walking over to lili and nodding. "what move are you trying to do?"

lili had never thought her social battery was one with a limit — but today, it seemed to exist in bursts. teetering on its last legs as she lets zoe’s drawl come in one ear with a nod and a small, passing smile when it goes out the other. it wasn’t that she was tired or anything but there was only so much energy could exert and unfortunately, much of it had been placed on emphasis when for the first time in the last four hours she had finally tried to try her luck in selling these goddamn soap bars that just were not their consumer’s target product today.

soap — she thinks, while sipping on the cup of juice she had snatched up from emi earlier — why had it been soap?

“mm,” she says in reply, setting her cup beside her on the bench. biting her tongue when zoe mentions luck — and sure, maybe the others did have luck on their side. even if the unspoken advantage was a tell-tale sign of it all. 

“grace, huh?”

losing with grace had never been her style but lili liked that that was how it seemed despite everything. 

“i wouldn’t be hyping up the food too much, if it’s anything like yesterday, the food will probably not be to the best expectations.” again, lili was not looking forward to being dressed to her elbows in misplaced vegetable chunks that did not make it onto the cutting board. her heel kicks gently at the ground with a small wry laugh, “you’d think because it’s our last day they’d treat us to a nice meal, i could really go for some ginseng chicken soup.” 

she didn’t want to complain — scratch that, this was lili — all she did was complain. 

♥︎ ╱ ꜱᴜɴᴅᴀʏ - ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴀɴᴛꜱ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ? ⤿ ꜰᴛ. @lgclili

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀♥︎

Zoe leaned back against the weathered wooden bench, relishing a moment of calm amid the bustling marketplace. The frenetic energy of the morning's sales still echoed in her mind, but now, with a satisfied smile, she turned her attention to Lili. She had seen her around Legacy before, so Zoe was grateful to get a chance to talk with her really.

"Can you believe how quickly today flew by? Team Juice really nailed it!" Zoe exclaimed, a glimmer of triumph in her eyes. She felt a swell of pride for their team's success, knowing they had earned a well-deserved break while the other teams took over the cooking duties.

Glancing at Lili, Zoe acknowledged her friend's efforts. "I guess luck was just on our side today," she remarked, reaching for her water bottle to quench her thirst. "But hey, don't stress too much about it. You did fantastic out there, and now we get to enjoy a scrumptious meal thanks to Team Soap Bar!"

Zoe's curiosity got the better of her as they continued chatting over their lunch. "By the way, how was your challenge with selling soap bars?" she asked, genuinely interested in Lili's experience. "I know it was a tough crowd out there, but you always handle it with grace."

“should i?” 

a hand models the ring, flashing it here and there, watching the light catch it in the most harmonic of ways. the glint is appeasing, and lili hardly said no to things that were offered — especially pretty things.

it was awfully on brand of her.

a cold brilliance wishing to be eclipsed by a warmth she couldn’t quite give herself. maybe it was why no matter her internal qualms that she so frustratingly and rather involuntarily projected, she still wished to be around jisoo — like a moon caught in it’s planet’s orbit. 

she wants to scoff, but she reserves the bite for a smile, albeit an amused laugh that she hides behind a hand, sparkling ring and all. “bite — as if you could ever bite.” she looks over him at the computer screen that held stills of their latest shot, pointing out one of the slides where the lighting hit her the best but still held a small cover of a shadow, much like a waning moon. “i like this one, the lighting was a nice call.”   

gorgeous, but deadly - she had an aura about her that fit the moon. difficult to reach, a bit cold, a nice contrast to the warmth that haru could convey. or was he describing how they were acting to one another right now? they didn't quite resolve everything from their last instance, and now they danced in limbo. ( again. again ! ) maybe they'd orbit each other that way eternally. and besides, its not as if he's acting against her role. it just happens to be his brand. and happens to be his commercial that he's looking over. she could just pretend he's not here... actually, no she can't. it'd look so badly upon them both since they were around others, and a tarnished name or reputation was difficult to wipe. "you can keep it if you like it," jisoo comments in response to her, albeit a bit nonchalantly. he's leaving the answer in her court for her to say yes or no, that she possibly couldn't.

this isn't quite an olive branch though, but what would it take? at least they were being cordial right? ".. feel free to chime in too, lili. we don't bite here." the swap of the set gave him an opportunity to actually discuss things with his model, if she wanted to, that is.

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

family con is always my favorite time of the year! what was your favorite performance? mine was obviously performing i got a boy and so hot with everyone! will i see you all tomorrow? let’s go another day 💗

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

pretty girl, bored out of her mind, now with a missing cig and a cursed migraine on the horizon — what was she to do. all she had really wanted to do was get out of the noise and smoke but even that was now out of the question. it was almost too easy to feel the spike of irritation at her nape — oh god, was that her blood pressure on the rise? 

she feigns offense — not that what he says strays an offensive line when in reality, lili would have been a fool to pay a helping hand with nothing to bargain with. and yet — “what?” a scoff cuts clean as she looks him in the eye, “nothing — she didn’t offer me anything.” it was safer to say that it wasn’t really what the woman offered that lili was after, it was vanity that lili was after, anyways. a glance to some point of ambiguity in the distance clears her conscience — if there was anything left of it. 

“ugh.” lili nearly stomps a frustrated sole, then remembers where she is and turns on said heel — eyes taking in where they are once more. loitering about with scattered boomers in every direction. hm.

tapping a pointed toe against seunghyun’s shin to get his attention, she points, in no way Inconspicuous as she should have been, to a man not too far off from their path. “go ask him for a smoke.”

Seunghyun supposes he should be impressed. His mother had really outdone herself orchestrating such an event under the guise of casual 'networking.'

While her crowd of middle-aged socialites would normally send Seunghyun up the wall, she'd done a remarkable job of wrangling a few smaller designers for a short appearance. And if the incentive of mingling with future contacts wasn't enough to keep him there, the threat of falling out of his father's good graces again surely was ( at least thanks to Seungah's poor showing in the press as of late, his position had been rather stable and he had no intentions of changing that ). All this just to keep Seunghyun in place long enough to be shoved into yet another playdate.

While he had no qualms with entertaining his mother's antics for one evening, if he had to hear another word about Lili's harmonious features or glass skin his head would be going right into the fountain along with that cigarette.

"We?" he answers with a quirk of his brow. "Well, I'm not about to go fishing for it. It's your fault it even fell in." And him making a haphazard grab for it in the first place had absolutely nothing to do with their current predicament at all.

"This whole thing is such a bore..." he groans, giving a huff as he perches himself awkwardly along the edge of the fountain. "What did she offer you this time, anyway? It had to have been some sort of bribery... Or was it blackmail?"

i know you don’t speak my language but i love the way she’s talking to me   —   @lgcamelia, april '21.

it’s one of those days. 

the days where lili couldn’t be fucked to do anything the coaches asked of her — they’d told her time and time again that she should be pushing herself, that securing her spot in whatever choreography they were currently going through wasn’t enough — that she should be front and center, present and determined to do what it takes to prove that she wasn’t going to do the same things she had done at her last company.

as if whatever she had done at said company had warranted such treatment.

( sure she flaked on debut but did that mean she was a flake — lili liked to think not )

so, it comes again — probably the fourth time today — that a coach comes and goes, exasperated at lili’s reeling and appalling plethora of excuses. once more using the — ‘sorry, can’t understand’ — to her advantage.

that is until a trainee — who obviously could understand her — is suddenly brought to the helm and into the throes of lili’s obnoxious display of unintentional rebellion. fuck, there goes her fun.

when the girl comes to her, lili only raises a brow in amused surprise, “huh — that was quick. didn’t think they would send in plan b so soon.” she says in mandarin, flicking the plastic spoon that held the last bites of her yogurt back into its cup.