They Taught Us To Be Quiet About It. To Cross Our Legs. To Hide Our Hunger. To Feel shame for The Fire

A friend once said “anxiety leave me alone”

Somehow that felt profound to me, cause I also would very much like to be left alone.

I like to think to myself that my mind is an interesting place, I laugh nowadays when my mind conjures something that we need to be afraid and I think to myself like really, a new one? And chuckle a little.

I think making fun of myself makes me feel like I am more in control.

It really does help.

My Cat

I dreamt I had a black cat

She, oh yes a female

She was brilliant

With black beady eyes and a

Careful countenance

She was my black cat

MY HEART 😭💜

I have been lying to myself secretly and now I’m not sure how to move forward

What part of myself likes to ignore reality, what part of myself likes to warp reality, what part of me doesn’t understand reality

It’s like I live in a day dream and the rude awakening’s become increasingly ungracious

Why is it so hard to face reality, to speak my mind, to be brutally honest to myself, why is it so hard.

Maybe it’s the fear, that causes the trembling and the aversion

Maybe I need to become friends with my fear

parent-child dynamics are soooo crazy. i love you i resent you i can't stand you i adore you i pity you. and still watching your hair get a little more grey every time i see you makes my stomach feel weird

Is it worth it?

The efforts we put in, to be with another human,

I would say yes, because love holds up a mirror to your face and you get a chance to see your self differently.

But is it worth it?

To feel truly loved by another is the most profound feeling we can experience

But is it worth it?

Yes, because the gain and the loss of love is the truest evidence of our humanity

Love is worth it

Tell me whats’s on your mind

Tell me what’s on your mind today, is it an ex lover you don’t talk to anymore or the job you didn’t get

Is it clouds in the sky as you stare in awe, is it the friend by your side, telling you what’s life been like for them lately.

Is it picture online of a friend doing something you would also love to do, or a love interest on a trip you would love to also be on

Is it the work you do and hate or the work you do and love

Is it lunch today or dinner plans tomorrow with your friends, is it the loneliness that sometimes visits you or the joy of sharing your space with your cat

Tell me what’s on your mind, let’s share the joy or burden together

What hurts the most?

The denial within myself

The unveiling of the truth

The painting I drew that was a lie

The preparations to start again at the end

What really hurts the most is the disappointment