“Please, I Want So Badly For The Good Things To Happen.”

I walked past a old neighborhood and I felt so much nostalgia for a time that was past and I wondered if I fully understood what I had in that moment or maybe it was just practice

Slow down, it's ok. Very few things in life are absolute

Deadlines can be flexible, career paths are flexible, relationships become close and far and close again, it's all going to be ok

I genuinely think pictures are weird

However they are a deliberate way to keep memory, to remember and being intentional about remembering because forgetting is very easy

Space

Spaccccceeeeeeee

Spa ccccc eeeeeeee

It allows you breathe, to take a moment off that intense focus and then come back with fresh eyes to look at it again and maybe to see something different, something new, and maybe find a solution to that problem.

So take space, take up spaccceeeee

Hyper independence and help

These days you feel let down, your therapist says accept help, you don’t have to do it all on your own

Almost immediately you start to realize you get a lot of unsolicited support and then instead of saying no, you try a new approach, you say yes why not

You start to feel good, wow it’s nice to be helped until you get 2 disappointing news out of 3 and you feel so deflated and even more alone than you felt when you didn’t accept help

And you wonder why you tried in the first place but you also know you have to keep trying cause disappointment and handling disappointment is part of the learnings

Nigeria is the first African team, whether men's or women's, to advance to the Olympic quarterfinals in basketball 🇳🇬✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

In the quiet,

in the spaces that are far apart,

in the days before we meet again.

I feel a sense of simple acceptance and then you drift in again, i get excited and disappointed,

which is why I yearn to be in the quiet

On the floor of my room, curled up as far as my hips will allow, wondering if in a years time I would be in a different place were everything worked out, were everything came together so beautifully, so when I look back in my minds eye and I see my self on the floor of my room, trying to hold it all together, I might in that moment think of this moment as resilience

Feelings that come with a new year

It’s melancholy

You can’t be too excited, lest the entire year doesn’t go as expected

You can’t be too sad because there isn’t any present reason to be

Can you hope?

Sometimes it feels futile, your hope can’t make it go any way either good or bad

So I ask for the strength to seat and be excited about the present, while working towards a reality that I am hopeful about