To The Person Who Walked Past The Window - Jordan Bolton

Franca Afegbua was a Nigerian beautician and politician who represented Bendel North in the Nigerian Senate in 1983. She was the first elected woman senator in Nigeria.

How do you decide what’s best for you?

I’m not sure if I can answer that question, I think it starts with asking yourself the hard questions.

Are you happy?

Will you be happy?

Does this make you happy?

Is this what you really want or is it what I think I should want?

There are days were the heaviness in my chest is so strong that I want to crawl under the bed or be unconscious for a while till the heaviness lifts off.

Is it always going to be like this?

Not a lot of people talk about GAD but it’s a real and deep struggle on its own

#anxiety #breathless

90% of the time I am worried about doing something wrong, guess what?! I still end up doing something wrong

Musings part 209

Is loving a part of hurting or is hurting a part of loving

We meet someone who makes us smile and happy and excited but they also make us sad, hurt and upset

It’s like a dance between two souls, is it a forever dance? Where we find each other and do the dance in every single life time?

Or is this life time sadly not the forever after one but the dance one

I’ll never know, all I know is, in every moment that I am not with you, I long to be.

I miss my lover

I miss the way they laugh, that rings across the room

I miss the way they call to me, which is so specific to them

I miss their quiet presence, with no pretense just them sitting comfortably in their skin,

I miss my lover and the way they bring me food even when i am upset, but

I do not miss the long arguments, the feeling of being unheard or unseen, i do not miss constantly making space for them to expand to exist

With no space for me to be sometimes, i do not miss being a the center of someone else's world or the long winded understanding it requires to love another person

In the space of longing after all is said and done at the core of it all, I miss my lover because love is rarely perfect

Source: kitten.foster.corner

Feelings that come with a new year

It’s melancholy

You can’t be too excited, lest the entire year doesn’t go as expected

You can’t be too sad because there isn’t any present reason to be

Can you hope?

Sometimes it feels futile, your hope can’t make it go any way either good or bad

So I ask for the strength to seat and be excited about the present, while working towards a reality that I am hopeful about

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