This Site Is Not Only Full Of deliberate Disinformation And Hoaxes, It’s Rife With Anti-intellectualism. 

Trying my hand at some Chain OCs (loosely based on a couple of characters a friend and I made years ago)

The Twins (Mercy and Truth)

Tieflings 

No consensus who is Twin 1 and who is Twin 2

Met the Chain of Acheron in Alloy towards the end of the Company’s time there; it’s unclear how long they had lived in the Burning City, and some things indicate they’ve also spent some time in Hell

Tend to wear loose fitting, light linen clothing indicative of Alloy (unless Matt Colville specifies otherwise)

Heavy accents (Infernal and Primordial)

Will talk about their past, but it usually sounds absurd and the story is often left unfinished as one of the twins will either trail off or be interrupted by the other (but as crazy as it always seems, they haven’t contradicted themselves yet)

Like to tease each other and bicker a lot, but are extremely protective of one another

Trust Issues (but the Chain is growing on them)

Don’t like to stay in the same place for too long, and are generally excited to travel to new places and see strange things

Don’t actually like taking orders and will be petty about it

Afraid of heights

Such stupid kids tbh

Mercy

Phoenix Soul Sorcerer

Chaotic Neutral (Evil leaning)

5’, she/her, unnatrual white skin, silver hair, black horns that start at her temples and sweep back along the sides of her head, magenta eyes with black sclera, tail that tapers flat like a thresher shark

Eyes occasionally glow, the center of her irises turning white, fading to yellow, orange, and finally back to magenta (as per her subclass flavor)

Burn scars

Nicknamed by her brother sarcastically and now she’s stuck with it; “You may call me Mercy, but don’t expect me to have any.”

A little sadistic, but can be kept in check (give her a reason to and she will set you on fire though)

Sites her brother as her moral compass

Honest (unless she’s covering for her brother)

Reckless

Smarter than her brother (by like 1 but likes to remind him of it)

Cheeky and likes to get the last word (occasionally by any means necessary); particularly sharp tongued when on the defensive

A good bet if your goal is destruction

Would call Big Cat a pretty kitty

Truth

Inquisitive Rogue

Chaotic Neutral

6’1”, extremely dark grey skin, black hair, bone white horns that start at his temples and arch up and curve over the top of his head, magenta eyes with black sclera, tail that tapers flat like a thresher shark

Missing a chunk of one of his horns

Nicknamed by his sister sarcastically and now he’s stuck with it; “You may call me Truth, just don’t expect me to share it with you.”

Compulsive liar, but doesn’t lie to his sister (not as of yet anyways)

Huge flirt (his sister sometimes plays his wingman)

Sneaky son of a bitch

Somewhat cautious

Older than his sister (by only a few minutes but likes to reminder her of it)

Definitely knows Mercy’s True Name

Has a misshapen pearl earring he got when he beat Mercy at chess (or Orden equivalent) as she was using it as her queen; he claims it reminds him of her

Some songs that give me vibes for these characters:

Hey Brother - Avicii Alone Together - Fall Out Boy Heathens - Twenty One Pilots Red Hot Lights - Moon Taxi all the good girls go to hell - Billie Eilish Horns - Bryce Fox The Patron Siant of Liars and Fakes - Fall Out Boy

D&D classes as john mulaney quotes

Barbarian - *smashes a 40 on the ground and yells* SCATTER!

Bard - the entire salt and pepper diner story.

Cleric - You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

Druid - Aaah! One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!

Monk - I’ll just keep all my emotions right here and then one day, i’ll die.

Paladin - for those of you who aren’t catholic, I don’t mean to exclude you (even though we looove to exclude you)…

Ranger - everybody get out of my way. I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.

Sorcerer - this might as well happen. adult life is already so goddamn weird.

Rogue - Stop snitchin’, motherfucker.

Fighter - sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.

Warlock - FUCK DA POLICE!

Wizard - I’m either having a drink or I have to pee. You’re living the golden years kid, not me.

*Chefs kiss*

Bonus top table reactions:

Now we all know what happens if you get the Book of Peace. You return it to Syracuse and save Proteus. But if you don’t get the Book, you have a choice to make. Either sail to paradise with the woman of your dreams, or return to Syracuse to die. You’re either a thief or a hero. So here’s my question: If you don’t get the Book, will you go back to die?

SINBAD: LEGEND OF THE SEVEN SEAS (2003)

Growing up with your starters

Artist:  esasi8794 / Twitter

Geode (x)

bruh what

F1, G3, P1

I’m gonna answer for Hops (chain oc) and Forthright(my current d&d character)

F1

What do they do for fun?

– Hops would probably be that person to do brewery tours but I think she also likes seeing street performers.

– Forthright is always running grifts and probably spends her the time away from her sewer goblin kingdom gambling. I also think she likes to show off wealth so maybe balls and operas.

G3

what benefits come from being their friend?

– Hops always reminds people to know their limits

– if your Forthright’s friend she wont grift you

P1

What is there best personality trait?

– Hops has big friend energy, thinks shes mom friend but isnt even close

– Forthright thinks shes the double-crossing wildcard but is somehow the (second) most level headed of the party. Knows when to not push her luck

BONUS QUESTIONS (bc I want to)

B3

How tall are they?

– Hops is maybe about 4 foot 7

– Forthright is 5 foot 11 inches (6 foot 3 w/horns)

G1

Most attractive external feature

– Hops has big arms (a feature I have to give credit to @hubbleablubble ’s art for) that I think gets a lot of attention but she really likes her hair

– Forthright is pretty tall. She really likes her birthmarks though.

 Hey, to you sci-fi/fantasy writers out there (and maybe some others, but this is mainly for things that can’t really be researched irl), if you want to write a character who is a driven, passionate expert on something, don’t write about them rambling indifferently about some boring, mundane part of it. Give them a deep, intense hatred of some oddly specific wow-I-did-not-even-know-that-was-a-thing-and-it-would-have-never-occurred-to-me-that-it’s-a-bad-thing thing they’ll gladly rant about.

 Write a dragon rider who really fucking hates it when a dragon is trained to bow while being reined. A space ship engineer who is pissed off when perfectly good antimatter ship has been adapted to run on neutral matter. A historian who is still not over the massive failures of a general who lost a specific battle 300 years before she was born.

 The guy currently giving us a series of lectures on the restoration of historical buildings really, really hates polymer paint. At the artisan school our stained glass teacher really hated this one specific Belgian artist - we never really figured out what did that guy even do, but he’s been dead for over 200 years and our teacher was glad that at least he’s dead.

 Experts don’t just know things you’ve never thought about. They’ve got strong opinions about it.

Concept: a fantasy setting where cursing people works like serving a subpoena – i.e., you have to provide notice, in writing, of the cause and particulars of the curse in order for it to take effect, and the intended target can avoid being cursed by constructing a plausible argument that they never received the necessary paperwork.