D&D Classes As John Mulaney Quotes

love the idea that infernal is a language tieflings don’t have to learn, they just have it built in from birth, and they quickly discover that they can say anything they want out loud in infernal, since almost nobody else understands any of it.

thieves have thieves’ cant, tieflings have the secret language of satan

Whenever people see an intelligent animal with a witch, there is a common assumption that it is the witches familiar. And while true, many of them are simply magical animal helpers… 

Others are actually young witch babies.

Since witches have no womb and are a byproduct of wild magic, whenever a witch wishes for a child they might one day find a young animal lingering around the house, much like receiving a familiar. An easy way to tell the difference between a youngling and a familiar, however, is that once bonded a familiar will soon begin speaking thereafter. Younglings will not develop speech until much later in their development.

The 2 year mark is when familiar and youngling dimorphism begins. While familiars will simply grow into an adult animal, younglings will enter into a “troll” stage, in which they will develop traits that separate them from ordinary creatures but do not yet resemble a human. It is towards the end of this stage that they will begin saying words, and simple sentences. Minor jinx magic is to be expected.

The “troll” stage will last for ~5 years, and the next stage can happen anytime within the next 3-6 following years. They will encounter a sudden “growth spurt,” where they will suddenly come into distinctly human shapes, while still retaining vestigial traits from their troll years. This transformation can happen overnight, or take over a year to complete. They can begin practicing simple spell magic at this point.

Finally, usually around the 18 year mark, they will fully shed any last vestigial traits, and appear as any other mature witch.

The Mighty Nein as LiveFromSnackTime posts – level 10 version

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ABCs of your OCs

a list of oc questions in alphabetical categories - i made each category based on the first word I could think of in alphabetical order, so enjoy!

A: Aptitude 1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young? 2. what activities have they participated in? 3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for? 4. what things are they bad at? 5. what is their most impressive talent?

B: Basics 1. what is their hair color? 2. what is their eye color? 3. how tall are they? 4. how old are they? 5. how much do they weigh?

C: Comfort 1. how do they sit in a chair? 2. in what position do they sleep? 3. what is their ideal comfort day? 4. what is their major comfort food? why? 5. who is the best at comforting them when down?

D: Decoration 1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name? 2. how would they decorate their child’s room? 3. how do they decorate their own room? 4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear? 5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?

E: External Personality 1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality? 2. do they do things that conform to the norm? 3. do they follow trends or do their own thing? 4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads? 5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?

F: Fun 1. what do they do for fun? 2. what is their ideal party? 3. who would they have the most fun with? 4. can they have fun while conforming to rules? 5. do they go out a lot?

G: Gorgeous 1. what is their most attractive external feature? 2. what is the most attractive part of their personality? 3. what benefits come with being their friend? 4. what parts of them do they like and dislike? 5. what parts of others do they envy?

H: Heat 1. do they rather a hot or cold room? 2. do they prefer summer or winter? 3. do they like the snow? 4. do they have a favorite summer activity? 5. do they have a favorite winter activity?

I: In-the-closet 1. what is their sexuality? 2. have they ever questioned their sexuality? 3. have they ever questioned their gender? 4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT? 5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?

J: Joy 1. what makes them happy? 2. who makes them happy? 3. are there any songs that bring them joy? 4. are they happy often? 5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

K: Kill 1. have they ever thought about suicide? 2. have they ever thought about homicide? 3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who? 4. who would miss them if they died? 5. who would be happy they died, anyone?

L: Lemons 1. what is their favorite fruit? 2. what is their least favorite fruit? 3. are there any foods they hate? 4. do they have any food intolerances? 5. what is their favorite food?

M: Maternal 1. would they want a daughter or a son? 2. how many children do they want? 3. would they be a good parent? 4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter? 5. would they adopt?

N: Never Have I Ever 1. what would they never do? 2. what have they never done that they want to do? 3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do? 4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done? 5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

O: Optimism 1. are they optimistic or pessimistic? 2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others? 3. are they good at giving advice? 4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them? 5. were they always optimistic?

P: Personality 1. what is their best personality trait? 2. what is their worst personality trait? 3. what of their personality do others love? 4. what of their personality do others envy? 5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

Q: Questions 1. do they ask for help? 2. do they ask questions in class? 3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable? 4. do they ask weird questions? 5. are they curious?

R: Rules 1. do they follow rules? 2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent? 3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule? 4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking? 5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

S: Streets 1. are they street-smart? 2. would they give money to someone on the streets? 3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets? 4. has anything happened to them on the streets? 5. are they cautious when out?

T: Truth 1. are they honest? 2. can they tell if someone is lying? 3. is it obvious when they’re lying? 4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about? 5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

U: Underdog 1. have they been bullied? 2. have they bullied anyone? 3. have they been physically attacked by a bully? 4. have they ever been doubted? 5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

V: Vomit 1. do they vomit often? 2. do they get lots of stomach aches? 3. are they good at comforting someone ill? 4. what do they like as far as comfort goes? 5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

W: Water 1. do they drink enough water? 2. have they learned to swim? 3. do they like to swim? 4. can they dive? 5. can they swim without holding their nose?

X: Xylophone 1. what is their favorite genre of music? 2. do they have a favorite song? 3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer? 4. can they sing well? 5. can they rap?

Y: You 1. how old were you when you created them? 2. what inspired you to create them? 3. were they different when they were first created? 4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters? 5. what’s your favorite thing about them?

Z: Zebra 1. what’s their favorite animal? 2. do they like animals? 3. cats or dogs? 4. what’s their dream pet? 5. do they have any pets at the moment?

Chain of Acheron, Helltrooper Hawthorn “Tha plan? Don’t die, and tha least bloodied buys drinks.”

Stout, loud and spiky best describes this Khemharan Desert Dwarf.  Hailing from the eastern side of the Granite Mountains, Hawthorn was formerly part of the shock troopers known as the Khoragad, or Dust Devils (or Cactus Men, but don’t say that in front of him). He and his flails would tear through the battlefield and none could ignore him.

He joined the Chain a while back, towards the beginning of Ajax’s conquest of Khemhara. Doesn’t do well with plans, prefers the tried and true method of “whack it until it falls over,” or, the true Dwarven way. Likely didn’t make it onto the Rosso Cielo because, uhhhh, who travels by water? 

He will have to, eventually, but he isn’t going to like it.

Has strong opinions on stoneworking (sandstone or it’s not worth it) and ale (cactus based), but is otherwise quite civilized. Just… Don’t stand to close to him in a fight. And close is a relative term.

In game terms he’s absolutely a Mountain Dwarf Battlerager barbarian. I like the idea that despite the obvious cactus imagery, when he joined the Chain, it was mostly Vaslorians who hadn’t ever seen a cactus before, so they called him their spiky plant (they weren’t going to call him rose, that’s for sure).

I was having a hard time thinking of him, but then suddenly he came to me all at once and now I desperately need to do something with him.

“See? It all turned out in the end. What do you mean, ‘stealth operation?’”

L1 L4 G1 A4 H2

L1. what is their favorite fruit?Oranges. L4. do they have any food intolerances?Nope, not that I can think of.G1. what is their most attractive external feature?Hmm… Hair or cheekbones, probably. He’s quite a pretty boy.A4. what things are they bad at?He’s not the strongest lad. Sure, he could hold up as a body in a shield wall, but not for nearly as long as most of the other Helltroopers. A stiff breeze stands a good chance of knocking him on his arse. He thinks he’s more insightful than he is. A dozen smaller things that I wrote out but realised this answer took up 75% of the post.H2. do they prefer summer or winter?Paisley is a summer lad. 

 Hey, to you sci-fi/fantasy writers out there (and maybe some others, but this is mainly for things that can’t really be researched irl), if you want to write a character who is a driven, passionate expert on something, don’t write about them rambling indifferently about some boring, mundane part of it. Give them a deep, intense hatred of some oddly specific wow-I-did-not-even-know-that-was-a-thing-and-it-would-have-never-occurred-to-me-that-it’s-a-bad-thing thing they’ll gladly rant about.

 Write a dragon rider who really fucking hates it when a dragon is trained to bow while being reined. A space ship engineer who is pissed off when perfectly good antimatter ship has been adapted to run on neutral matter. A historian who is still not over the massive failures of a general who lost a specific battle 300 years before she was born.

 The guy currently giving us a series of lectures on the restoration of historical buildings really, really hates polymer paint. At the artisan school our stained glass teacher really hated this one specific Belgian artist - we never really figured out what did that guy even do, but he’s been dead for over 200 years and our teacher was glad that at least he’s dead.

 Experts don’t just know things you’ve never thought about. They’ve got strong opinions about it.

in this house we believe:

this place is not a place of honor

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here

nothing valued is here

what is here is dangerous and repulsive to us

the danger is in a particular location

the danger is still present in your time as it was in ours