This Life Exhausts Me......

Too many… maybe

Everyone forgets about me, I feel so replaceable. 

If I died today, nobody would notice…

“its getting bad again but i don’t know if i have the motivation to stop it this time.”

— i thought i was done feeling like this

Do you know

I’m not me anymore

There’s nothing left to live for

You say you know everything

But why does it fails when it comes to me

Do you know

Even I don’t know who I am anymore

My brain is is slowly killing me

And I’m just letting it be

And my body is begging for me survive

But what if I don’t want to 

To be called all these names

To be ashamed of myself

To HATE myself

Do you know

Your words are like knives in my heart

And these knives are tearing me apart

You took my innocence away

But for you it was just a play

Can you stop

Please STOP

Cause I don’t think I can fight anymore

Even a spark of anger can burn down your whole life

~Alex

Fernando Pessoa, from Un Soir à Lima; A Little Larger Than the Entire Universe: Selected Poems (tr. by Richard Zenith)    

sorry i had to

Best place to cut is on your fingertips, Nobody checks there and you can make any excuse for it.