Why Is It So Hard For Apps To Just Stay On The Language I Want? Yes I'm In Argentina And I STILL Want

"empowering women by sending katy perry to space for 2 minutes" shut the fuck up. samantha cristoforetti was the first female commander of the international space station and she became an astronaut because of star trek. and there is a real chance she is a kirk/spock shipper

Your honor that is her FATHER

hi honey!! im absolutely feral for dbf hotch so sorry in advance lol 😵‍💫

anyways imagine relaxing with him outside by the pool, and you go to bother him. he's sitting on a lawn chair all spread out, smoking a cigarette and as you come up to sit on his lap he blows the smoke in your face. as you're trying to wave the smoke away you frown and ask him if you could try a puff. ofc he says no but eventually he relents. you're against his chest and he lifts your chin and taps your cheek saying "open" and slides the cigarette in. he guides you, and tells you to inhale and hold it, before exhaling. 😮‍💨😩

A Day Off, a Hot Man, and a Cigarette

Warnings: dbf!hotch, cigarettes/smoking, age gap (both adults), pet names (honey and sweetheart), Aaron being a sexy slut all spread out like that mm mm MM😵‍💫😮‍💨, please let me know if I missed anything!

Word count: 925

Pairing: dbf!hotch x gn!reader

A/n: Oh yes yes yes yes 😵‍💫😮‍💨. Hotch smoking is just 😮‍💨 an idea I love to think about. He's the type of man that just looks so hot like that.

Forever tags: @greg-montgomery @boredelle @hotchsdoormat @ssahotchnerr @criminalskies @beardedhotchh @hotchnerbau @ssamorganhotchner @mrs-ssa-hotch @canuck-eh @luvehotch @callm3c0nfus3d @ivyflowers13 @randomuserrs

Hotch tags: @14buddy22 @htchnr

Let me know if you want to be added to my tags 🫶

Minors please DNI****

Aaron is outside by the pool enjoying his day off. It's finally a nice day out after the near constant rain of the last week and he's spending it at your father's house, which you are incredibly happy about. It's just you and him right now and even though you know he's there for relaxation, you can't help bothering him, not that he minds it at all. He actually likes being bothered by you; by other people...maybe not so much.

He's smoking a cigarette and he looks damn good doing it. The way his chest rises when he breathes in and the way he looks when the smoke leaves his lips has you staring at him. It's almost like you're seeing it in slow motion.

You step outside and walk over to him. He looks so hot like this. His hair is slightly messy and he's spread out comfortably. You sit yourself down on his lap and one of his hands finds its home on your waist. He gives you a small smile which you return with a brighter one.

"Are you enjoying your day off?" You ask him and he subconsciously rubs your side as he looks at you. He nods and takes another drag of his cigarette before blowing the smoke out to answer you. It gets in your face and you try to wave it away. "It's been great. Especially when I get to look at you all day." He winks and smirks at you a little. You're still frowning at the smoke he blew in your face and your eyes follow the hand holding the cigarette.

You barely acknowledge his answer before asking him another question. "Can I try it?" You glance at him and his eyebrows are raised now before going slightly furrowed. You've never asked to try it before. "No, honey. I don't think you should." You pout at his words, frowning deeper now. "Why not? You're doing it." "Because I said so. I don't want you starting a bad habit, sweetheart." You huff and lean forward against his chest, your head resting on his shoulder. You understand his point, but you don't have to like it.

Aaron takes one more drag and thinks about your question some more now that you're pouting and huffing at his reluctance to let you try it out. "Please?" You murmur. He goes back and forth on it for a bit and he finally decides to let you. He breaks.

"Fine. You can try." He says with a small hint of a stern tone, but it is mostly soft. You perk up slightly, not expecting him to change his mind.

"Open." Aaron says after gently lifting your head and tapping your cheek. You're surprised because he'd been so reluctant just moments ago. You do as he says, like you always do, and you part your lips for him. "Good." He speaks quietly and slides the cigarette between your lips. "Close and inhale slowly." He directs you and you follow his instructions. You inhale the smoke, the taste of it is horrible and the feeling in your lungs and throat makes you cough.

Aaron rubs your back and shushes you. "Shh. It's okay, try again. Maybe inhale a little less." His voice is gentle. Your eyes sting with a couple of tears and you blink them away. Your throat burns a tiny bit, but you do it again anyway. You take his suggestion and you don't breathe in as much smoke this time. "Good job; now hold it in." He keeps his hands on you, making sure you're steady and keeping you close after removing the cigarette from your mouth. You keep your eyes on his and wait for him to tell you what to do next. "Hold it a little longer..." His hand moves to your cheek and his thumb rubs the soft skin there, the cigarette between two of his fingers.

"Now exhale." And you do so with a slight cough, but it's not nearly as bad as before. The smoke goes into his face and he doesn't bother waving it away like you had done before. He smiles at you and it nearly takes on the shape of a grin. "There you go. You did very well, sweetheart. But I don't want you doing this all the time, understand?" He praises you and then sets a stern rule for you. He knows he can't really control it if you do start up a habit of doing this, but he knows you like to listen to him. You nod your head. "I know I know. I won't. But...I will say, you look really good like this, Aaron. You look hot. You always do, but there's something about you like this...I can't explain it." He chuckles a little and squeezes your side affectionately. He thanks you shyly. It's not often that he doesn't know what to say to someone, but you seem to bring that side out in him more than he thought was possible.

He finishes off the cigarette, which you can't help but watch him do so, and puts it out before pulling you against his chest again. He wasn't expecting this to be something you liked about him, but he's glad he knows now. He's always finding out about these little things he does that you like and find attractive in him, things he would never think someone could find sexy. You're always surprising him and he is always looking forward to those surprises.

you can’t tell me that with emily looking the way she does in early s3 and hotch’s crumbling marriage that they didn’t bonk at least once

fwb at LEAST

2018 tumblr post:

1: why do they call it a boner when theres no bone in it

2: there used to be

3: why does this sound so ominous

2025 tumblr post:

1: forward my shambling soldiers and slay without thinking. let blood flow into every crevice of this rotten land

2: yes my lady

3: yes my lady

BERLERMO NATION, BEHOLD! THE ONLY (KNOWN) PHYSICAL COPY OF THE TIME TRAVELER'S SOULMATE!

Thank you so much @ostanaart and @cookie1244 for making the effort of putting my longest fanfic on paper! I don't deserve you, girls! Love you forever!

We all collectively talk about the Tightening-of-Aaron-Hotchner’s-Shirts!Era from s10 on, but I don’t think we give credit to the fact our man’s pants started to fit a weeeee bit different—BETTER—, too.

I should be crying, bawling, screaming. Instead I hug my little brother