I Do Appreciate Kallus's Realization That He Actually Is Very Wrong In How He Approached Things. That

Hey guys will you beat me to death with sticks if I post this

For the wip meme, can i have a hint of "Gorgeous" and a dash of eepy Kallus pretty please?

Both of these are crack fics lmao. For Gorgeous, Sabine wins a bet with Kallus and makes him shave his beard, leading to chaos on base when everyone realizes that clean-shaven Kallus is a fucking knock-out

Offering Ezra fifty million credits would have earned the same incredulous expression. “You got Kallus to shave?!” Ezra gaped. “Force, Sabine, you're practically erasing his whole identity.” “I can hear you,” Kallus called, his voice muffled through the door. The razor had stopped buzzing. “Rest assured Jabba, the loss of some hair will not drastically change the course of my life.” There was some rattling behind the door, probably Kallus tidying up the ‘fresher. Sabine tried not to bounce on her toes in glee. The anticipation was almost too much to bear. “I bet he doesn’t even have a jawline underneath all of that,” Sabine whispered conspiratorially. “People with weird beards are always compensating for something.” “I can still hear you,” Kallus sighed. The door cracked open. “I truly think this is more important to you than you think it is to me.”  “Don’t be shy,” Ezra crowed. A grin that matched Sabine’s had slipped into his expression. “We have to get the full picture.”

for What Do You Do With an Eeepy Kallus, for some reason I started a fic where Kallus just falls asleep random places because he never gets enough sleep??? And I have no memory or writing any of it

Kanan’s theory was that Kallus had missed out on so much sleep as an ISB agent that his body was making up for it in the here and now. Sabine’s theory was some form of extreme sleep apnea. Ezra would always chime in with the ever-stupid theory that he had been cursed by a Sith Lord in his youth; eye rolling always followed that proclamation. Cassian Andor had no such imaginings: in his opinion, it was just the plain old honest-to-Force brand of insanity that only occurred around one Alexsandr Kallus. Which is how he found himself hauling a very unconscious ex-ISB agent by his ankle down one of Yavin’s many dirt paths. It wasn’t the first time Kallus had fallen asleep at his desk, but it was the first time that Zeb wasn’t around to strong-arm his boyfriend out of Intelligence. No one else had volunteered for the job, which had left one beleaguered Cassian Jeron Andor to try and figure out some way to drag 195 centimeters of dead weight all the way to the barracks. Suffice to say, he was not thrilled.

I am a WHORE for “the love is requited, they’re both just idiots”

the obsession with twink death is so sad and weird I can't stand it. oh nooo he got fat and hairy... as if those aren't two of the hottest things you can be. get real!!!

Need you guys to know I am soooo anti generative AI. In case that wasn't clear. It's bad for the environment, unethical, theft, and will never be as freaky as me. It is inferior in every way

Your honor, irrelevant

guys i love alexsandr kallus

Sometimes I wonder how the whole concept of Kallus growing up on Coruscant’s lower levels got started. What genius was the first to start that. And can I kiss them on the mouth.

Chat I need yall to buckle up for the comic im gonna make where he then gets into an argument with her over the differences between a twink and a twunk

Happy Twink Death (bear dilf birth) to Alexsandr Kallus 🥳🥳🥳

(also a little prequel to this post)

This country is a FUCKING NIGHTMAAAARREEEEEEEE