Your Honor, Irrelevant

get you a man who despite his literal decades of practice repressing and hiding his emotions to survive physically cannot hide how smitten he is with you

dean winchester. #thinman

I’m posting this late at night because I’m conflict avoidant but I’ve seen people say that kallus “all lives matter”-s Zeb on Barhyn (which somehow convinces Zeb and also endorses that message) which is just???? Completely incorrect?

kallus says something along the lines of “does that rule apply to imperials” when Zeb says that the empire views the rebels as a monolith. Zeb immediately claps back with “all the imperials I know”. Zeb doesn’t fall for that shit, because he’s right: all imps are the same. You chose to be an imp and you chose to be a monster. More importantly: Kallus is still a bad guy, and he’s wrong for believing that.

Kallus fucking defects. Like lads, this should be obvious. He realizes that he’s wrong too! The only good imp is a dead imp! He can’t be a good person and an imperial so he defects as soon as he realizes he’s a monster. He even goes the extra mile of becoming a spy: he could have cut lose and run or tried to be a “good imp” but he doesn’t. There are no good imperials.

No one’s operating procedure changes. Zeb doesn’t go easier on stormtroopers because he got convinced that you can’t treat them all as a monolith. When Kallus joins the rebellion he doesn’t do that either.

that’s all Jules has to say. If you need me I’ll be hiding away in a hole 👍

You okay? Yeah, I'm good.

I have moar questions for the OTP + CHARACTER ASK because I really wanna pick your brain (only if you want!!). So: 16, 18 and 19 C:

bestie, i love when people pick my brain.

16 - covers

This one is so straightforward to me. Zeb is covered in fur and rarely needs covers (until Hoth). Kallus has minimal fur and frequently feels like the chill never left him after Bahryn (this I think is why he's still wearing a quilted jacket on the humid rainforest that is Yavin IV). It's less that Kallus hogs the covers and more that Zeb gives them to him and then wraps around him too (until Hoth, when Zeb valiantly tries to steal some back, or at least cuddle close enough to Kal that they can reasonably share the covers).

18 - drunk

They're both big lads so I think they both have a pretty high tolerance for how much alcohol they can consume. Where they differ is Zeb still has a few stone on Kallus, so he can drink more without feeling it as much, but Kallus is also incredible at still appearing sober when he's deep into his cups. Kal started drinking early and his time rising through ISB meant he got really good at lying, so if you aren't super close with him you may not even realize the glass in front of him is number 4 and not him still nursing the first one. But those who are close to him, namely Zeb but the rest of the Ghost crew too, can pick up on little tells. He laughs a bit more freely, he's even snarkier than usual, sometimes he gets flushed. Because he's an adult, he knows not to get into the rowdy shenanigans he used to as a teen, but sometimes there's a glint in his eye and he gets tempted to pickpocket or climb the side of the temple or drag Zeb to dance with him (see: makeout on the dance floor). If he's playing sabacc, though, he lets his opponents think he's way more drunk than he is and swindles them out of their credits.

Zeb gets more outgoing and gregarious, which is a freedom that comes with joining the Rebellion and having a relatively safe home base. Every time he's drunk he makes new friends, and for a lot of those new friends it's the first time they see Zeb as someone who's approachable and not scary. He's relaxed and has his arms draped over the back of the booth, but when the mood strikes him he can get rowdy and wrastle with people. He never starts a fight though.

The two of them drinking together is honestly not much different than them relaxing at other times. They're old men (by Rebellion nightlife standards); they aren't trying to give themselves hangovers tomorrow. But they will sit shoulder-to-shoulder for an entire night, having quiet side conversations and making the rest of their table think they're already together when neither of them has as much as thought about it.

When only one has been drinking, both have been known to fireman carry the other back to their bunk.

19 - fights

Before they're together, it's really small stuff mostly (I know you used my repair kit, now where did you karking put it), but sometimes it's really big stuff, along the lines of who is allowed to forgive whom and for what. Kallus doesn't feel worthy of Zeb's forgiveness for Lasan; Zeb doesn't feel worthy of Kallus' forgiveness for not getting him off the Chimaera sooner. But they work through it. They talk to each other, even if they go in circles for a while, and they trust each other.

They're later fights are even more hypocritical. They always yell at each other when there was a close call or when one of them did something reckless, even though they both know they would've done the same thing if it meant saving the rest of the ship or not sacrificing the mission. Oooohhh but these can be knock down drag out fights. They say horrible things to each other because they know each other so well and know their pressure points, then immediately regret it. These fights don't happen often, but they require a cool-off period. Zeb stays with Hera, Kallus stays with Cassian or Sabine if she has her own quarters. But even after a fight like this, they still can talk it out and repair it.

On Lira San, the fights go back to "where did you put the damn vegetable peeler."

YOOOOOO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWINNNN

Guys guess whos the birthday girl

I absolutely think there's an underlying angst to Zeb and Kallus' relationship at its core. Kallus experienced something traumatic that made him view all Lasat as violent monsters. Which is obviously a messed up viewpoint and one he's doing his best to consciously challenge... But there's definitely moments in the beginning where the subconscious fear gets the better of him. Waking up from a ptsd nightmare to a Lasat reaching for him is not something he handles with much grace or sensitivity and it's definitely a thing that complicates their relationship.

It's worse for Zeb, 'cause while Kallus is left with guilt and shame, Zeb has to deal with burning anger and resentment during similar episodes. When he has a flashback Kallus is just about the last person he wants to see the face of, and unlike Kallus he can't just reprimand himself for misplaced emotions 'cause Kallus carries more blame than Zeb likes to think of. It definitely takes him a long time to reconcile the Kallus he knows - loves - with the Kallus who made his world - his family - crumble to pieces, even if part of his people survived.

It's a lot - to Kallus, Zeb is worth it. He can't quite wrap his head around how, but somehow Zeb thinks he's worth it too - they're worth it.

No but actually, imagine being Jovan, you already had your heart broken by Alexsandr Kallus... Then enter Rebel Kallus and it turns out you didn't just fumble, you fumbled a baddie 😞💔

Ezra's on first name basis

the best part about cosplay is that i can make reality whatever i want

anyways au force sensitive kallus

(yes i'm posting this on all of my socials idc idc)