My Favorite Thing About Tony Stark Is That You Can Ship Him With So Many Different People, And I Can

Ultra magnus: “Um what’s a kilt?” Optimus looks back and forth before answering… Optimus: “Agent fowler can be at times be of bleak, I find it best to simply nod and mobilize.” Wise words from the Prime…

Just look at his eyes. Look at them. Tell me this isn’t the face of a man who loves his team to literal death. The face of a man who would risk (and has) risked everything he has for this team, because he cares so much. Sure he’s snarky, matter of fact, and arrogant, but you can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that he isn’t suffering inside every single day.

He needs the Avengers.

He needs his friends.

He needs his family.

His family may have broke in Civil War. Just a habit for him, he grew up with a jerk father. But in Infinity War?

It was like losing his family all over again.

The edge-on galaxy NGC 4710

js

I came across the novelization for Revenge of the Fallen at a used bookstore. I bought it purely because of this sticker.

Iron Man vs Thanos

Obadiah // Thanos Parallels

i’m fucking screaming over these fucking parallels asdfghdksl

1. first off, we got the fucking physical resemblance between bald eagle™️ and bald blueballs™️ (thanos is literally obadiah stane but in purple)

2. they are both power hungry psychosluts who don’t give a shit bout who they gotta kill to achieve their goals of world domination and playing “god” - stane was also willing to kill pepper, while space willis™️ over here yeeted his own daughter off a cliff in order to be able to kill evEN MORE people with just the Snap of his eggplant fingers what a lazy fuck. if ur gonna kill people then do it right. purple nutsack is too fucking lazy to get off his fat ass and murder people with his mayweather fists so he gotta snap his fingers instead like a dainty lil disney princess smh

3. even the frames are fucking similar!!!! the close-ups on both thanos and obadiah’s wrinkly ballsack chins as they get all up in tony’s grill, invading his personal space

4. they are both “reassuring” tony that his legacy to the world after they kill him will be the exact things he fought so hard to prevent/change:  - obadiah torments tony, telling him that his arc reactor will be used to create even more weapons for world domination (“it’s ironic, tony; you tried to rid the world of weapons, but you gave it its best one ever”) - thanos promises tony that after he kills him, he will go on to carry out his masterplan to kill half the universe, just as he intended. however, this is also done out of respect (“you have my respect, stark”) - treating tony as a noble warrior, and wishing that his ‘sacrifice’ (while in vain) will be remembered by those that survive The Snap. 

5. they both got tony on his last dying breath:  - obadiah ripped out tony’s “heart” - aka the arc reactor aka his literal life source - thanos stabbed tony with his own fucking shiv and most likely punctured his lung (tony was literally gasping for air and coughing up blood)

6. in conclusion, w t f (feat. internal screaming)

(realization hit me in a conversation with @starkravinghazelnuts )

Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr. for People Magazine (2016)

Andromeda galaxy by Luca X

js

The “Tony is responsible for most of the bad things that happen in the Marvel universe” discourse is false... and exhausting.

I’m just gonna break down the villains and main conflicts in the MCU so far. Let’s see how many Tony’s “~responsible” for.

Obadiah Stane in Iron Man: How is Tony responsible for his psuedo-father figure and business partner dealing weapons under the table and shutting him out of Stark Industries? The second Tony found out, he tried his best to resolve it. Tony didn’t force Obie’s hand, didn’t lead to Obie’s evil actions. Tony was 100% a victim of Stane’s evil machinations. Tony and Pepper were then the ones to shut down Obie in the end.

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Abomination in The Incredible Hulk: Tony had no role to play in Abomination’s creation. He doesn’t dabble in Gamma radiation. He hasn’t tried to recreate the Super Soldier Serum. He was divorced from any military connections at this point. There’s absolutely zero connection Tony has to this story outside of his cameo at the end where he tells Bruce about the Avengers (which was retconned anyway).

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Ivan Vanko in Iron Man 2: If blame should be leveled at anyone, it’s Ivan’s drunken, abusive father Anton Vanko (even then Ivan is a big boy who can make his own decisions; he’s not the only one who had a shitty father). Yeah, Howard had his ass deported and “stole” Anton’s work, but Anton was a dick-cheese – and that still isn’t Tony’s fault. All that shit happened before Tony was even born.

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Loki in Thor: Yep. Tony somehow played a role in what went on there all the way on another damn planet. He is totally responsible for Odin’s shit-ass parenting, which led to this clusterfuck of a sibling rivalry. /sarcasm

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Red Skull in Captain America: The First Avenger: Tony must’ve developed a time machine or something in order to bring HYDRA into existence. ‘Cuz otherwise I’m not really seeing how he played a role there. 

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Thanos/Loki/Chitauri in The Avengers: In no way did Tony do anything to enable Loki coming to Earth to try and steal the Tesseract. Tony wasn’t even the one to find the Tesseract, study it, or mess with it. The only thing Tony did in this movie that “aided” the bad guys was design a clean, self-sufficient energy source (the Industrial Arc Reactor) which he was using to power Stark Tower. That was something good that got turned to evil. In the end, Tony was the one who saved NYC. So… yeah. Tony was, of course, ~the villain.

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault. (Although his revolutionary clean energy tech did allow for the Space Stone to open a portal, but Tony couldn’t have known that was going to happen.)

Aldrich Killian in Iron Man 3: Yeah, Tony stood up Killian at the NYE party in 1999, but that is no excuse for Killian becoming an asswipe supreme who decided to weaponize human beings for his own evil devices. Blaming Tony for ditching a creepy fucker who kept trying to get his attention is gross. Imagine if Tony were a woman in that situation where he evaded Killian. Just cuz he’s a dude doesn’t make Killian’s advances less unwanted. The main threat in this film was Extremis, which was Maya Hansen and Killian’s brainchild – it wasn’t even something Tony developed. So, I mean, Tony didn’t do shit here. 

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Malekith in Thor: The Dark World: …… I don’t even know what to say there lmao I guess if reincarnation is a thing, Tony’s soul could’ve been chillin’ with the Dark Elves way back when.

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Alexander Pierce and HYDRA in Captain America: The Winter Soldier: Again, unless it’s ever revealed Tony has been a super-secret HYDRA agent…… (And “Project Insight” was targeting Tony so he’s damn super, special undercover in that case if he was willing to torch his own ass for his nefarious, overarching evil goals).

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Ronan in Guardians of the Galaxy: Yeeppp. Tony was all up in that Orb heist scheme. Totally in bed with Thanos. Yep. 

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Ultron in Age of Ultron: This is the only film where I’d say Tony has his share of blame. But that’s it: a share. Tony wasn’t 100% responsible for Ultron – Bruce, Wanda, and the Mind Stone itself all played a role. Even so, Tony – along with everyone else – worked to end the threat of Ultron and succeeded.

Verdict?: Partially Tony’s fault.

Yellowjacket in Ant-Man: Tony isn’t now allowed anywhere near Pym particles (per Hank Pym) so…. yeah. Don’t think he had any hand in this mess.

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Helmut Zemo in Captain America: Civil War: Tony was a pawn in Zemo’s plan for revenge just as much as Steve Rogers was. Per the screenwriters of the film, neither Tony nor Steve was “wrong” or “right” – they were both emotionally manipulated. 

As for “Tony is responsible for the Accords?” Several incidents were cited as cause for the Accords (per the video Ross showed the group): 

The Battle of NYC (from The Avengers)

The Helicarriers’ collapse (from CA:TWS)

Battle of Sokovia (from AoU)

Hulk’s rampage in Johannesburg (from AoU)

The Bomb in Lagos (from CA:CW). 

Tony was only partially responsible for two of those incidents (NYC and Sokovia). NYC because, like all the other Avengers + the Chitauri + Loki, they were dealing collateral damage. And Sokovia for obvious reasons. 

I am so tired of the “Tony Stark is the only one who requires oversight” bullshit. 

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault. (Though he is partially responsible for the creation of the Sokovia Accords – but so are all the other Avengers)

Kaecilius and Dormammu from Doctor Strange: Yeah, Tony “I Hate Magic” Stark is totes meddling with the Dark Dimension. 

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Ego from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: …. I mean… again. I don’t even know what to say. Tony is in cahoots with a maniacal, sentient planet now?

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Vulture from Spider-Man: Homecoming: People love to point out that ~the Vulture wouldn’t have turned to crime if rich, white capitalist Tuna Stork hadn’t stolen his job~~ and… like… did no one watch Iron Man 2? Tony hasn’t been in charge of Stark Industries since 2010. Pepper Potts is in charge. If anyone has a grievance with Stark Industries taking over the clean up of dangerous alien tech they should take it up with her. Plus? It was an Executive Order. Meaning it came from the President. Unless Tony has gotten elected to the Oval Office in the past couple years, I don’t see how anything the Vulture did is remotely Tony’s fault. (Barring all that? Even if Tony had been the one to ~steal poor Toomes’ job~, in what universe does that give him the right to start black market arms dealing!?!?? Plenty of people lose their jobs every day without resorting to a life of crime and threatening to kill children)

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Hela from Thor: Ragnarok: Again, I already established, Tony must’ve been responsible for Odin’s shit-ass parenting skills. (sigh) Tony, Tony… 

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Erik Killmonger from Black Panther: I don’t recall seeing Tony in any part of Killmonger’s origin story – and I paid close attention.

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

Thanos from Avengers: Infinity War: …………………………………….

Verdict?: Not Tony’s fault.

That’s all I got. Yeah, it could be argued Tony is responsible for one (1) bad thing that has happened in the MCU. ONE (1). And, even then, he clearly shares blame on that front with two other MCU characters (Bruce and Wanda), and the Mind Stone was ultimately the culprit anyway. And 1 outta, what, 18? 19? That does not constitute “most of the problems.” I wouldn’t even say there’s a common thread between all these problems. 

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.