Peter: If I Die, Please Bury Me Either In A T-pose Or The You Know I Had To Do It Pose.

Bucky: Nice hands, Nat.

Nat: Thanks?

Bucky: But they'd look better around my-

Sam: BIBLE! WRAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE! PRAISE RHE LORD JESUS! AMEN!

Did you mean:

My girlfriend turned into the moon

𝒪𝒽 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒶 𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓁𝑒𝑔𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝑜𝓃

What’s the procedure?

me when a mutual messages me: ok now be cool, JUST be FUCking cool for once in ur daMN LIFE don’t be so FUCKing weird

Peter talking to a tired Thor: So what’s Loki to you?

Thor: The reason I get up in the morning...

Peter: Really?! That’s cool

What Heimdall watched happen:

Loki: Hey...

Brother

Thor: *continues snoring*

Loki: Blergh *stabs him*

I never sleep cause of you

Avengers play Cards Against Humanity

Since the last one was well received here's part two

Black Card: You know who else liked ______? Hitler.

Loki: Eradicating the jews

Steve: Mass Genocide

Peter: Veganism

Hope: Nazis

Scott: Bees

Natasha: White privilege

Clint: Chunks of dead backpacker

Harley: Daniel Radcliffe's delectable arsehole

Shuri: Praying the gay away

T'challa: Restoring Germany to it's former glory

Tony: A reason not to commit suicide

Bruce: Auschwitz

Sam: God

Bucky: Poorly timed holocaust jokes

Pepper: Seeing things from Hitler's perspective

Rhodey: Suicidal thoughts

Thor: Vikings

Wanda: It's hard to decide... "You know who else liked veganism? Hitler" is my favourite. Peter wins.

Do you guys want to chose the winners? And yes, there are going to be more of these cards against humanity. Send me other people you want to play too.

Freed and Bickslow turn around hearing a crunch.

Laxus: My mouth is a candy crush

Freed internally screaming in indecipherable gay

Freed: Gentle reminder to not eat too much candy before bed.

Bickslow: No.

Freed: This was a gentle reminder, yet your words of defiance full me with ungodly rage.

Not Marvel. Funny though

bakugou: we are all michelangelo painting the sistine chapel ceiling

uraraka: ...explain?

bakugou: stressed, broke, gay

Responding to a kidnapping attempt part 2:

Vision

Scott

Shuri

T’challa

Rhodey

If I’m missing someone tell me and part 3 is probably going to be the guardians reacting

“What do you know about infectious diseases?” -teacher

“They spread” -person

“Does that make sluts diseases?” -me

Clearly you don’t know Johnny Storm

Clint, after being drenched in gasoline: Oh no. Fire is my only weakness.

Y/N: Yeah, fire is everyone’s weakness.

Y/N: It’s fucking fire.