Pain Changes People, It Makes Them Trust Less, Overthink More, And Shut People Out.

icb jack & shiro are both filing to adopt one another @soldierwatch

“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?”

— Danielle LaPorte (via amortizing)

weeps openly

the undercity is a world created entirely by ghost / @grimesucker​. i recommend checking out his blog if the setting interests you because it’s incredibly well developed and full of amazing ideas and characters. i won’t be explaining details of the city here, only how shiro fits into the world. for more info and explanation on certain aspects, you can find that all on ghost’s blog.

age: 17+

nickname most know him by: fifteen  (given to him by dox; because he’s missing a hand, he has fifteen fingers & toes instead of the usual twenty)

original level: med-lev

after the death of his mother, shiro ran from the home for orphaned children  —  something he now recognizes as a dumb mistake.

while trying to survive on his own, he accepted help from someone who worked for 5liip, though he had no idea, and once this was found out by authorities, shiro was marked and sent down to the Undercity as punishment.

within his first few days trying to survive on his own down THERE, shiro stepped in to a fight in order to protect a stranger. this resulted in the majority of his right arm being cut off.

both his being cast down to the undercity and being so injured were actually planned by 5liip and executed at his order. shiro is seen as a perfect way to get at dox, who has a weak spot for kids and the ability to heal. though he’s unaware of it, shiro is a tool for 5liip to attempt to weasel his way closer to dox for his future plans.

a slumbrat finds the bleeding shiro and brings him to dox, who heals the injury and thus saves the boy’s life.

from here, shiro takes to crashing on dox’s couch, at first allowed to stay until he recovers. even once he has though, with nowhere to go and very little understanding of the undercity, shiro sort of just… stays. dox never actually kicks him out. he becomes an uninvited roommate but is eventually accepted as actually living there.

he helps dox out wherever he can, part to earn his keep and to try to pay the guy back. in particular, he helps out with the kids that dox watches over.

dox makes shiro a prosthetic arm. it’s low quality, made from spare parts he has around, but it’s functional and shiro  is eternally grateful for it.

shiro is regularly sent baskets of food from 5liip, an “apology” for his fate of being trapped in the undercity.

the slumbrats don’t accept shiro in the beginning, as he comes from an upper level, something he catches a lot of shit for. over a long span of time, however, they do come around, as he’s become something of a big brother to them all, helping dox to take care of them and often putting himself at risk for them.

in kind, dox and shiro develop a familial relationship over time. they’re brothers, they mean the world to one another, and will protect one another at all costs.

though it never affected him much when he was on med-lev, as they have technology to suppress and treat such things, shiro is chronically ill. in the undercity with none of the treatment he once had, he is faced with the symptoms for the first time in his life. the disease is one which affects his muscle function, causing them to tense and tighten severely to the point of pain and even difficulty moving the affected part of his body. some days it’s manageable and others he can’t really leave his bed.

overall, shiro remains fairly naive and idealistic compared to most others residing in the undercity  —  he doesn’t believe that everyone down there is terrible and he often steps in to help others, strangers or not. it’s something dox continues to give him shit for, though it never convinces him to stop.

this is an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE from shiro’s main undercity verse, an offshoot in a different direction which eventually meets with ghost’s ‘inheritance’ verse for dox.

initial events unfold the same, but this verse diverges in shiro being successfully manipulated by 5liip after meeting him face to face in the undercity. shiro agrees to join the gang {black bracket}, believing the things that 5liip tells him about it not being what dox has told him and accepting the help the gang leader says it will provide him.

this ruins the relationship between shiro and dox, the latter of whom hates gangs more than anything else. shiro is kicked out of dox’s home.

5liip replaces the prosthetic dox made for shiro which a much higher quality one.

shiro undergoes training to improve his fighting skills and he begins accompanying 5liip on jobs once he’s shown to be talented.

originally, he’s still little more than a tool to eventually bring dox to 5liip, to put dox in charge of the gang (shiro still, of course, completely unaware of this fact). he proves himself to be useful as much more than his, however, and ends up holding the interest of the gang’s leader.

5liip enforces the beliefs shiro gained from growing up on an upper level, that the people of the undercity (those unaffiliated with the {black bracket} gang, at least) are awful and undeserving of sympathy. this makes it easier to mold him into a perfect soldier.

shiro climbs through the gang’s ranks quickly, eventually becoming something of a third in command. 

eventually, shiro becomes a legitimately feared figure, as he’s a frighteningly talented fighter, has become quite ruthless, and, completely trusting in his leader, does whatever 5liip asks of him.

when 5liip dies and passes on leadership to dox, shiro is apprehensive at first. he’s been angry with dox for years for being kicked out and abandoned over one decision, and he’s grieving over the loss of someone who had been so important to him. he still trusts 5liip, however, and thus accepts dox as the new leader of the gang regardless of how he feels about the guy.

it takes time, but the two do make up and start to improve their relationship again.

dox makes shiro his second, but relegates him more to duties around the base rather than sending him on any jobs that require violence, not liking what 5liip has effectively turned him into.

this is frustrating to shiro, who feels he’s far more useful in the field, but he does as he’s told regardless.

shieldedchild​.

“Okay, fair, but…” True to their sibling nature, she snatched his prosthetic hand and splayed out his fingers like they were hers to splay.

“Consider this: I could paint your nails, or your approximate to fingernails. I could do jet-black, so you could be discreet and fashionable.”

     “ yeah? ”  stifling an amused chuckle at her suggestion, he flexed his fingers, head tilting slightly to one side. fashion had never been something that came to mind when he thought of katie, but if she was THIS invested in customizing his arm, he could indulge her a little.

     “ that would be a lot more subtle. alright, let’s do it. ...do you even have any nail polish around here? i don’t think i’ve ever seen you paint your nails. ”

i take loyalty very seriously

ventured into the shiro tag for the first time in years, lying to myself by saying “it can’t be that bad this long after the show ended, right?”

yes it can. it’s almost exclusively gross ships and almost no solo art whICH IS ALL I’M LOOKING FOR. but no i guess all he exists for now is gross, uncomfortable ships. like, even more than before lmao. I’M NOT PULLING PUNCHES ANYMORE BC I’M NOT IN THE FANDOM OR RPC ANYMORE: ALL SHIPS BETWEEN HIM AND ANOTHER PALADIN ARE GROSS THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK.

...also it informed me that i missed his birthday. on an actual leap year. so not only am i bleaching my eyes but i’m also a SHAM.

@criticalebwidogast​.  (x)

           there’s an amount of HESITANCE in accepting the assistance— this , a STRANGER , & one that exudes a certain CHARGED aura - the sort of air of a being to which there’s more than meets the eye ;

                                                          ( he rolled an 18 on his insight check. )

STILL, there’s a nod of APPRECIATION as the wizard is freed from the vines that made to GRASP at his legs , the vegetation falling limply aside under the ministrations of the white-haired young man - the foliage obeys without RESISTANCE , it would seem , leaving KEEN MIND to wonder towards the strangers relationship with the sentience of the forest .

                                                   “ i do not mean to aggravate the flora - ”

                                                   ( it was just that he rolled a 5 on his dex save— )

                                                   “ - are these woods under YOUR care ?”

  no one MEANS to aggravate the flora, it’s just something that happens in dox’s forest; particularly to strangers with a clear magical aura about them. lucky for dox’s plants  ( and this stranger )  that he was around to INTERVENE before there was more reason for aggravation on either side.

     “ mine? no. i mean, not really. ”  standing once the vines have simply fallen back to the forest floor with no fight, shiro takes a step back, allowing the other some space.  “ i just help. ”

rather than elaborate further on that, he offers a smile  ---  friendly, if a bit SHEEPISH  ---  and rubs at the back of his neck.

     “ i don’t have any control over the plants or anything but they, uhm. they trust me. ”

the millennium series by stieg larsson death, violence, suicide mention.  

“i’m a survivor. i do what i have to do to survive.”  

“you’ll have my support if you need it.”

“i’m just a freak, that’s all.”

“you don’t believe in god?”

“thanks for being my friend.”

“sorry. i wasn’t listening.”

“you’re going to have some serious bruises for a while.”

“that was brave but awfully stupid.”

“you look like you just woke up.”

“everyone has secrets. it’s just a matter of finding out what they are.”

“up until then, i had thought about killing myself.” 

“this is… not healthy.”

“what would you do if it was me?”

“i think you’re awake.”  

“would you like company?”

“i’m not a child any more.”

“if your questions piss me off, i won’t answer.” 

“everyone has to have something to believe in.”

“fuck you too. need help?”

“i’m going to kill you!”

“a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, and all that crap.”

“you have to concentrate on getting well.”

“usually it’s other people who don’t give a shit about me.”

“you look like a car crash.”  

“why don’t you want to talk to the police?”

“i can keep a secret, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“you’ve been hurt and had surgery.”

“i need somebody to tell me if i’m doing anything stupid.”

“they’ll twist what i say and use it against me.”

“what kind of weapon is it?”

“what i’m thinking of asking you is unethical and it might be illegal. but morally, it’s the right thing to do.”

“no bones broken?”  

“i wasn’t going to let that motherfucker kill you.”

“go home and get some sleep.”

“if you’re nice to me, i’ll be nice to you.”

“that was a serious mistake.”

“don’t ever do anything for nothing.”    

“that’s not a detail, it’s a whole novel.”

“you’ve had an operation and you’re in the intensive care unit.”

“am i being arrested?”

“you don’t give a shit about other people.”

“i thought you’d died.”

WITCH AU.

born a rare space witch, shiro spent the first many years of his life learning and developing his magic & potential. even after the passing of his mother put him in an orphanage at the age of 11, he kept practicing, knowing it would have been what she’d wanted. 

while out searching for some herbs for a particular ritual one evening, shiro found himself distracted as he listened to the planets & the stars - and most importantly, the full moon. lost in the sounds of the universe, he was unsuspectingly attacked by a couple of werewolves. the scene was gruesome; blood was everywhere as he was tugged at from either side by the both of them, as they clawed and bit, and attempted to drag him off. at some point during the horror, the boy fell unconscious in combination from shock and blood loss, thus he was unable to witness the beasts being scared off by an unknown entity, leaving him behind in a limp, bleeding heap.

when consciousness found him again, shiro was in an unfamiliar home rather than the dark woods. he was cleaned up, and many of his wounds had been healed to some degree. he had been found in the middle of the night by the earth shaman dox, who had brought him back to his cabin and taken care of him. though nothing could be done to bring back the arm which had been lost during the moments he was the rope in a game of tug o’ war between two giant wolves, dox had been able to heal all of his wounds at least to the point that they were no longer bleeding. over many days, he would be able to continue to heal the injuries until they were nothing but scars.

while initially he stays with the shaman simply to heal, dox invites him to stay rather than return to the orphanage. already at an age where they were bound to kick him out to live on his own at any point anyway, being seventeen, it’s all the more reason to accept. it also feels safer to him to keep himself in the middle of the woods, near as few people as possible, now that he’s been passed the curse of those who attacked him.

thus, shiro joins dox in a semi-hermit lifestyle, assisting the shaman in his work and coming to terms with his new state of being. the curse of a werewolf suppresses the magic of a witch bitten, so shiro has lost access to everything he’s spent so much of his life developing and skills that he would use regularly. with time, he becomes more well-adjusted to things. he comes to like most aspects of his life with dox, and learns a great deal from him - even begins to slowly regain some of his own magic with his help.