I Think I’m Gonna Switch My Morning Monster To A Different Drink, Maybe A Coffee Or Chocolate Milk

Genuinely debating if I should try and kms tonight to get out of work tmr because I cannot do 6 and a half hours in that hell, if I don’t does anyone else have any ideas?

And to no one’s surprise I did binge to the point of sickness with my friend. At this point I’m not even upset just disappointed, I mean I do this literally every time I reach a new lw and/or hang out with friends.

Im even more worried too bevause my friend is having a 3 day long birthday hang out sleepover thing and if I can’t even control myself in this situation I don’t know how im gonna do in that.

Thankfully I got 20k+ steps today so at least a small bit of it is burned, and I’m gonna take the rest of my laxative stash. Hopefully that gets rid of some of the water weight, I doubt I will weigh myself at all for the next couple days.

I think I’m gonna try liquid/water fast tomorrow and Monday and just hope for the best for the rest of the week.

God now that I am actually thinking about it I’m starting to get more and more upset at myself, I can’t believe I lost all my control just like that. I don’t know how im gonna look at myself in the mirror when I have a shower.

Guys fhis is a new low, not only did I spend yesterday and today binging because I was with my friend but when I tried to purge it up just now I missed the toilet bowl and projectile vomited all over my bathroom (didn’t even get much up anyways so it was a waste of time).

I’m so done, I don’t even know what to do at this point I’m just so ashamed. I want this all to stop I want someone to help me but I can’t bring myself to ask for help because I’m too fat and not sick enough to warrant even needing any help. My only hope is death, but I don’t want to die fat, but I can’t keep living like this.

I can’t wait for the day I don’t have a muffin top while wearing my favourite jeans

GUESS WHO WOKE UP UNDER 50KG FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR, CAN I HEAR A ROUND OF APPLAUSE !! (I’m so happy I could cry)

Life may be shit and I may be failing at both my job and education but atleast I got my bffs and the sense of control from restriction to keep me going 💪💪

Just finished my 20k steps, did a 10 minute stretch and stayed under my 450 cal limit we are so back and I am so ready for bed.

Goodnight lovelies may tomorrow be as, if not more successful as today has been <3

My family just told me that we are moving back down to my hometown in June. I’m so upset Ive worked so hard to establish my life and support system up here and now I’m going to lose it all, and there is barely any mental health services back there. I am now even more determined to lose enough weight to be hospitalised within the next 3 months so I can stay here longer. They can’t take me back, I won’t let them.

I don’t want to go to work I just wanna sleeep ☹️☹️

oh my god and I just remembered that im going to the doctors tomorrow and they might weigh me, what if I gain from eating so much today, I wanted to be underweight by the time I got weighed by a doctor again, how the fuck am I going to lose a kilo and a half overnight.