I Have A Theory About Rincewind. We All Know That Esk Is The Female Wizard But Narritive Convention Would

anti-papyrus-babyification brigade forever but you can tear sans' mom moments from my cold dead hands

Kim Kitsuragi shitpost voicelines!

Please see end of post if you want to use these!

Submitted by you, voted for by you, I'd like to present the voicelines you were just dying to hear being said by Kim - dutifully performed by the brilliant Jullian Champenois.

In 10th place,

How did we get here? We walked, believe it or not. You were not entirely lucid.

In 9th place,

I want to have fuck with you.

In 8th place, Normal people, when they go down a slide - they're fine.

Submission idea attributed to this post.

In 7th place, No, detective, I do not just want to go apeshit.

Submitted by bowyooo. In 6th place, Apartment complex? I find it quite simple.

Submitted by elelei. In 5th place, Officer, what the fuck was that?

In 4th place, Trans rights are human rights, detective. Obviously.

In 3rd place, Do I like men? Man is a hopeless creature. I don't like much of anyone. ...Oh, if you meant sexually, then, yes.

In 2nd place,

Detective, Instead of worrying about appearing 'submissive and breedable', please make sure your paperwork is submitted and readable.

Submitted by scrollingdown. And finally, in 1st place, the voice line you all wanted to hear so so badly is...

I'm da king of da highway.

Usage

You are welcome and encouraged to use these for memes, shitposts, and other foolish fan content on social media. When you do, please include credit to Jullian Champenois. You can also include a link to his website, tag him on Instagram/Twitter (@julliannailluj), or mention his Youtube channel according to the content you make. Commercial content of any kind - ads, promoted videos, etc - is explicitly forbidden by these usage terms. Anything of this sort will require specific permission by Jullian. Please don't fuck around we love him. That's it! Thank you everyone for participating, reading, and enjoying this silly little project.

This might be a weird idea but

What if Sans’s telescope prank wasn’t only a prank, but also a test?

Normally, the kind of prank where you trick someone into getting a mark on their face is a stealth one. The embarrassment is through them not realising the mark and going on with their lives until someone else decides to tell them, or they look in a mirror eventually. They also realise they were the ones who participated, unknowingly, in getting a silly mark.

In this scenario, everyone basically yells SANS and tries to call him on it, resulting in him joking about a refund. But there’s no way Frisk would know about the eye blotch. The normal run of the joke would be for Frisk to obliviously carry on until they find a mirror somewhere. Instead, most people confront Sans immediately.

Maybe he was testing to see if we, the player, really were there. Frisk could’ve turned on him and called him on the prank… despite having no way to know they’ve got a pink eye. That’s what WE know. We outed our existence to Sans.

Doomfist must have to deal with a lot of shit in Talon between everybody. Like a 7 foot tall HR manager. Could we get sone interractions reflecting this?

I love Beleaguered Manager Doomfist so much you don’t even know. 

-----

Doomfist: I always love hearing about your side projects, Sombra, what are you up to these days?

Sombra: Oh I keep myself busy. You hear about the mysterious disappearance of that Axiom hedge fund manager and all of her assets?

Doomfist: ...I must admit, I have not.

Sombra: Exactly.

----

Doomfist: So... how is your list coming along?

Reaper: *snarling scoff*

Doomfist: I’m not saying there’s a deadline, I’m just wondering about your progress.

----

Moira: I must say, this organization seems put to right now that Vialli isn’t around to obsess over every penny. 

Doomfist: Ideology must always come first, Moira, I know we can agree on that. Though I must ask, does the R&D department really need six different acid tubs?

Moira: Incompetent labtechs must be made example of--er--I mean it’s very important to my research.

----

Sigma: I deeply appreciate my new accommodations, Mr. Ogundimu, and I don’t mean to intrude, but I don’t know who else to ask about this and there seems to be a consistent issue with a lack of coffee stirrers in the break room. I don’t know who keeps using them all, but--

Doomfist: ...you literally can create angular velocity with your gravity powers. You can stir with your mind.

Sigma: Yes, but it’s the principle of it---and I find the gesture calming.

Doomfist: *sigh* I’ll look into it.

Congratulations, you found the GRIDDY’S DOUGHNUTS Secret Menu! Order wisely.

Rough drawing of this silly idea I got that I really wanted to draw.

You know when you and your friends are getting scolded and suddenly one of your friend starts making a face and you gotta try not to laugh, but now everything is funny? Yeah.

Brook wasn't even doing anything, he was just sitting there taking the earful like a champ.

like the thing that i think a lot of ppl gloss over is that a large majority of the talon aligned heroes have little to no interest in the actual ‘goals’ of the organization (to the point where we still don’t entirely know what talon wants or why they exist, lmfao) so much as it just being a means to an end. like we can all conceptualize that sombra is pretty much just there because it gives her access to more resources she can use towards her own goals, moira is there for research opportunities and funding that she’d never get elsewhere due to the nature of her work, i can only imagine that ramattra’s alliance with talon (and thus null sector’s as a whole) is purely situational because it provides advantages he considers useful, reaper is pretty much just there because they’re against overwatch therefore he can use it as an avenue for his revenge, even doomfist doesn’t really seem to hold as much stock in talon as an organization as he does use his position as a tool to achieve his goals, if it stopped being useful he would likely just walk away.

in opposition to the overwatch aligned heroes who all seem to be coming together solely for the sake of this like, ideal of Overwatch as a concept being this paradigm of good and justice and doing what’s right, and rallying behind their faith in the organization and what it symbolizes… i genuinely don’t think any of the talon operatives really care all that much about talon at all. it’s just a job. like, sure, we’re doing cartoon supervillain shit, but the pay is decent and we’ve got benefits and i can continue to do my own thing on the side, no questions asked. it’s honestly a pretty sweet deal.

all of that to say i really don’t see why people seem so averse to the idea of sigma having that same mindset. like yeah, he’s not exactly thrilled to be using his research and abilities to assist in acts of violent terrorism, but does he have many other options? he says it himself in that interaction with baptiste, talon gives him everything he needs - funding, resources, something to fall back on after being in total isolation for decades and coming out with absolutely nothing. it’s a guaranteed safety net — so long as he’s with talon, there’s absolutely no chance of anyone dragging him off or locking him up again, and so long as he contributes when he’s needed, he’s free to pursue his research to his heart’s content. does he regret it? sure, sometimes. i think they all do. i doubt there’s a single talon-aligned hero who genuinely believes what they’re doing is genuinely morally correct and sound. but ultimately in his mind he didn’t have many options left, so he had to settle for something he knew would at least guarantee his safety and continued freedom. it doesn’t really mean he’s being manipulated or held against his will any moreso than most of the other talon heroes, imho. he’s not proud of it, but hey, it pays the bills.

i feel like he regards it with a similar level of resentment/annoyance as i felt towards my horrible soul sucking corporate retail job of several years - like don’t get me wrong, the company i worked for absolutely sucked and i HATED how they operated, policy was bullshit and so much of it was unnecessary and needlessly counterproductive. but i also really connected with my coworkers in the same situation AND i got to get paid to do stuff i already would have been doing on my own anyway, and ultimately the experience i got and connections i made were really helpful in pursuing what i actually wanted to be doing with my life. it’s like if your shitty day job required you to kill people but they also like, got you hooked up with a place to live and a healthcare provider and all that shit and paid for all of your living expenses no questions asked AND gave you a decent budget to screw around with so long as every now and then you showed them what you were making and maybe used it to kill people more efficiently sometimes. i wouldn’t exactly feel any amount of loyalty to the company paying me but i wouldn’t exactly be in a hurry to quit either

nobody asked for scientist hygiene headcanons but here they are regardless. here’s an idea and I promise it’s not as cursed as you will probably think it sounds. Hermann doesn’t shower much but he DOES have excellent hygiene and always smells nice. 

1. Look, he has a sink in his room! He has a shaving kit! He has towels! He can shave and splash off and wash his hair and clean off with a damp towel he’s fine showers aren’t needed nearly as often as people seem to think! He showers…. a few times a month, it depends on the month. Why, you ask? ok so 

2. the Shatterdome has communal showers and they are aaaaaallllll the way down a super long hallway and he uses all his energy on research he’s just too tired to walk aaaaallllllll the way down there. 

3. also they’re communal showers and he’s shy 

4. and there’s no easy way to get dressed in the stall in your clothes without getting your clothes all wet and he’s NOT walking all the way back in a bathrobe 

5. nobody else is that modest and people are just walking around Completely Naked and he feels out of place in his standard 999 layers but also he’d rather die than remove a single layer

6. The Tiles Are Dangerously Slippery 

7. One time he came in for a shower and There Were People Everywhere and he was waiting for the single disabled shower stall and Ranger Hercules “Herc” Hansen, whose body befits his Herculean namesake, comes out of one of the showers completely naked and walks over to him and starts chatting with him in a friendly way and Hermann, who was at the edge of panicking to begin with, is standing there astral projecting into a realm of internal screaming while hit Chris Fleming song “I’m Afraid to Talk to Men” (I’m afraid I’ll look at their dicks. IT’S NOT THAT I WANT TO! I’M JUST AFRAID I’M GOING TO!) plays on endless loop and he never wanted to know how much chest hair Ranger Hansen had but the man is just standing there talking about the Kaiju-invasion-influenced weather patterns while he drips on the floor and the stall still isn’t open and Herc is between him and the door and there’s no polite way to get out of this and he’s nodding politely and finally the stall is open and he goes in and stays there for a solid 45 minutes having a panic attack and waiting for people to leave the showers so he can hopefully get out of there without any more horrible social interactions but There Are So Many People Still and finally he gives up on waiting. He manages to psych himself up from being terrified to being angry by mentally griping about how many people who don’t need to use the SINGLE disabled stall on their floor use it and he is LITERALLY the only one in this military base who needs it and if anyone else thinks he’s taking up space well too bad he is CANCELING his guilt trip they can just WAIT. Like he did. So he psyches himself up and he leaves the stall and he immediately slips on the tiles and wipes out in spectacularly undignified fashion in front of a bunch of cadets who all politely try to help him up, which is a convergence of all the things he hates, 1. being publicly embarrassed 2. strangers touching him 3. strangers who’re convinced they’re Helping Him so he feels obligated to thank them rather than yelling at them to leave him alone which is what he wants to do and he’s still kind of having a panic attack and 

8. he decided he would only go late at night when no one else was around, so he could avoid people. that would work right? so late one night he walked into the showers. he saw 2 people making out in one of the stalls. he walked out of the showers. he decided Not to go to the showers late at night. 

9. Additional, Secret reason that he tries not to think about too much: Newton, who despite being German is just as intensely American as Hermann, despite being German, is intensely British, showers a lot and Hermann hasn’t run into Newton in the showers before but he’s terrified that if he does he will have a gay stroke and die on the spot from having to confront the idea of Newton being naked in his general vicinity 

anyways he changes his inner layers regularly and is arguably cleaner then Newton on days where Newton just sort of turns the water on himself and zones out while standing there for a couple seconds and then leaves, sometimes even without getting his whole body wet, whilst Hermann is carefully cleaning behind his ears etc. w his washcloth, look. look. I know that absolutely no one asked for this information. but I’m giving it to you. you’re welcome. deal with it. 

~I had someone tell me they feel I add “unneeded information” to my characters;;

I’m not mad at this person because they are a bae and they’re entitled to their opinion. 

I realize the general opinion is that the arms made Otto evil. 

I don’t agree, actually. Here’s why:

I watched Spider-man 2 again and from what I saw I personally believe it was a combination of things. 

the loss of Rosie 

being pushed into the spotlight suddenly

no privacy

no space or time to grieve Rosie

being exploited by The Bugle for profit

being forced into this persona he did not choose ‘Doc Ock’ which he never refers to himself as

losing his job, home, career, humanity

being used and manipulated by things he designed / built 

suddenly having four very big and deadly machines on his back 

having a mental health crises 

I think all of those things contributed to Otto just losing his mind. Suddenly being pushed into the spotlight while having a mental health crises AND just losing your wife of 20+ years would make anyone go nuts. Like, imagine how scared Otto would  actually be. I can’t imagine. As an introvert myself, suddenly having the whole world know about me would be terrifying. I also think Otto had prior struggles with mental health due to his childhood and everything that happened to him, literally overnight, pushed him over the edge. The arms used Otto’s compromised mental state to exploit and ab*se their creator to do their bidding.

You guys, remember, Otto was physically and mentally ab*sed by his father Tobert Octavius for his whole childhood. It’s not in the movie but it is part of the comic book background. Add that childhood trauma to the trauma celebrities deal with being famous. I think Otto just couldn’t deal with it and didn’t know how to ask for help. Imagine how powerless Otto must have felt. I can’t see any therapists getting in line wanting to help a man with four giant metal arms on his back. Which is why Otto fell through the cracks but it’s also why Peter’s conversation to “defeat” Otto was so profound. Peter was the FIRST person to show kindness and compassion. He understood Otto was a very broken and hurting human being. Peter spoke to the person Otto was. He never saw Otto as this crazy monster, he always saw him as his mentor. Otto was’t evil, he was suffering. I don’t “add unneeded info” I write from a different angle. It’s an angle that is very important to write about. 

A Case for Reed Richards’ Asexuality: Aphobia and Amatonormativity in Marvel and its Fandom

I have been thinking quite a lot about how fandom’s rampant aphobia factors into Reed hate, probably because I recently discovered that a Marvel artist had vilified Reed in the past over on Twitter by claiming that he is an asshole who thinks of his wife as “just a friend,” as though it somehow would make his love for her less valuable or important if he did. So I’m going to talk about the ways in which Reed has been coded as ace within Fantastic Four canon, and how he is troublingly framed as strange, abnormal, and Other both by official FF canon and fandom over this ace-coding. To be clear, Reed has never been explicitly called ace in canon, but there are moments where it’s been made abundantly clear that he does not experience sexual attraction and that he is fairly ambivalent about sex. 

It does bear pointing out that Reed DOES love his wife romantically—if you’ve ever read FF comics, that much is fairly obvious:

I love you, Susan. You bring light…and life…and joy…and meaning to my days. Now and forever.

Marvel Knights 4 #21

But the fact that he doesn’t behave like a stereotypical heterosexual man—in possession of a high libido, sexually aggressive, obsessed with sex, constantly sexualizing and hitting on and competing over women the way Ben and Johnny do, etc.—means that, in many people’s eyes, Reed’s love for his wife is somehow lacking and not really love. Personally, I think it factors quite a lot into people’s arguments that Reed is “abusive” for “neglecting” his wife, which he simply is and does not do in canon. The implication is that it’s because of his lack of sexual attraction and low sex drive – Reed “owes” Sue sex because he’s her husband, the thinking goes, and his failure to provide it consistently means that he is failing in his husbandly duties. The aphobic notion that aces are abusive to their allo partners because they “withhold” sex is, unfortunately, old and familiar, and it is coercive and, worst of all, encourages rape. Unfortunately, it’s not an interpretation of Reed’s behavior that hasn’t been encouraged in official FF media – take, for instance, this exchange:

Just think of the technological marvels that ancient spaceport might hold, darling!

[sighs] I can see a bikini doesn’t stand a chance with you.

Fantastic Four: The Animated Series: Ep 2x12: The Sentry Sinister

Discussion of aphobia below the cut.

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