Every Year I Miss You A Little More

There was a text from his mother inviting him to come to have dinner with her Thanksgiving again this year. He sat back as he pondered the thought of spending another holiday with family. Thinking back on the last holiday he actually enjoyed was the last Thanksgiving that his twin was still alive. If he knew then that it would have been her last one he never would have gone partying with friends the night before. He would have spent the whole night sitting up talking to her about her twins, listening to her talk about whatever she wanted to. The hum of the fan droned on in the background as Draven laid on the bed in his room at his mother's house in Brooklyn, where the family was gathered for the holiday. He was loathed to be there for another one of them, but hopefully with the birth of the new babies thanks to his twin. Maybe Raven wouldn't be focused on her son and what he was doing with his life this year. Kaleigh was married with babies, which should have made her over the moon. Nothing really ever made Raven Wolfe over the moon, she seemed to be miserable all the time the past few years. He could smell food wafting up from the kitchen, his mother had been up since before dawn preparing a feast. Draven would never understand why she cooked so much food when there were so few of them. With the grace of a panther, he was off the bed and at the door of the bedroom. His favorite cat perched on his shoulder, Hera. Hades, his faithful familiar ever by his side as he made his way down the backstairs of the brownstone that lead directly into the kitchen. Letting Hades out the back door he set Hera down on the floor before resting his head on his mother's shoulder. "Something smells delicious Ma! When do we eat! I'm starving!" "Ha! You know we don't eat until three." Raven said as she kept kneading the dough for her rolls. She never even looked up at the tall thin young male standing over her. "I laid some snacks out on the table. I knew you'd be hungry when you finally made your appearance. What time did you come in last night anyway Draven?" The petite brunette asked as she finally looked up at her son as he walked over to the table where the snacks were that she mentioned. Shrugging his shoulders as he picked over the plate of fruit and veggies. "Really Ma? Where's the real food? The stuffing and the bird? Can't we ever eat sooner? I have sh*t I wanna do today." "DRAVEN! LANGUAGE!" His mother snapped as his twin walked into the kitchen carrying a basket filled with various sizes of candles. "You will not use that type of language here young man I don't care how old you are!" Raven almost shrieked at her son. "Ma! He only said sh*t, you are acting like he said F*** or something." Kaleigh said in her twin brother's defense, something about her defending him sent their mother into a tizzy. "Kaleigh! What have I told the two of you about using such vulgar language in my home? There are children in this house...." "Ma! They are infants jeez calm the f*** down." Draven said as he winked at his sister, shoving a grape in his mouth. "You're gonna have a heart attack." Taking a seat at the kitchen table he couldn't help but chuckle at the way he and his twin got under their mother's skin. They say that the pain of losing someone is supposed to get easier with time. Those people lie, every year seems to get harder for him to face the family on the holidays as he sinks into his own abyss. He still blames himself for not being there for her when she needed him the most. She was his other half, even though he knows there wasn't anything he could have done. He always feels like maybe, just maybe he could have done more. If he hadn't been wallowing in his own sh*t, maybe he would have seen that she needed him. Picking up his phone as he texts his mother back. "Nah Ma, I'm skipping the holidays this year. Love you."

More Posts from Kdbuckland and Others

kdbuckland

3 years ago

LETTER TO LOO

Raven sat with her journal open, she had been writing in it off and on for the past hour. It was her day off from the Brew as she sat back sipping her coffee. Looking over at the framed photograph of her on her wedding day. Memories flooded back to her from that day a almost ten years had past since then. It had been a simple day, they had been two young kids that had fallen in love so easily and impulsively gotten married on a whim. As quickly as it came together everything seemed to fall apart as well. Being young stupid kids, they walked away from each other instead of fighting like they should have. Reaching out to picked up the photograph running her fingers over the smiling couple. She traced the lines of Logan's face, his smile, his hair. Placing the photograph back on the table she picked up her pen again and began to write.

My Loo,

This letter is about a year or more over due, as I sit in my home that is not shared with you. I have to wonder where we lost our way. Most of the fault lay at my doorstep as I am the one that left first, but I had hoped you would come for me. Like one of those scenes from a romance novels or movie. Or maybe you did and my grandfather sent you away. Deep in my heart I hope that is the case, yet I hope it is not.

I want you to know I never meant to stay away for this long. The day I packed my things up to leave was the day my grandfather passed away. I had more things to wrap up, in New Orleans. None of these things matter anymore. What matters is that I never stopped loving you, even when I left. Maybe that doesn't even matter anymore. I just want to be a part of your life whatever that may mean, friends, lovers or even to be your wife again someday.

Why am I writing you this letter now after all this time? Honestly? It's because I need you to know all these things. They need to be out in the open. You should know that your pictures are still in frames in my home and on my phone. That the sound of your voice still sends shivers down my spine. You should know that the door is open. That you are my lobster.

Rae

Raven paused as tapped her pen onto her journal. Would she even give him this letter? Was she ready to let him know how she was truly feeling? They had spoken a few times when he would come into the Brew for her coffees. Ripping the pages from the journal, she folded them carefully and tucked into her bra. She was supposed to meet him later for dinner, maybe she would give it to him then.

OVER HER

Five years ago....

Without even thinking the phone was out of his hands and smashing against the wall. Axel hated the effect his ex-wife still had on him, almost 10 years after their divorce. He had tried to be there even after everything she put him through, all the pain, all the grief. It didn't matter because he knew she was grieving more than he was, her pain was far worse than his. The person she was in love with had actually died, while it only felt like the woman he was in love with was dead. He guessed in a way she was dead.

The words the day she had left still rang in his head over and over, he knew the reason he couldn't really ever let himself love anyone was because of Gianna. She was still the one in his heart, his gypsy rose for his whole life. Yet she never loved him the way he loved her, he knew that but he couldn't let her go no matter how hard he had tried. This is why she still got under her skin so badly, oh how he hated and loved her at the same damn time.

Surely he had to know by now, 10 years after their divorce, after all the abuse at her hands that the woman hated him. Gia had played with his love for her at first, once his murder trial proved he was innocent. She used his good heart to get what she could out of him. Of course, he took care of her, he still did to this day. He let her manipulate him to get what she wanted, he paid for her hospital bills. He even paid for the lavish funeral for her lover that was murdered the night she was shot.

He headed down to his workshop, taking their old wedding bands with him. He got his smelter ready to melt down the precious metals. He knew that as long as he held on to these he would hold onto Gia and what he thought they had. He worked to pull the diamonds from the metal of the rings. Placing them into a safe place he dropped all three rings into the smelter, watching as they began to dissolve into a puddle of white liquid. He had loved her for a very long time, but it was time to let it all go... time to let her go.

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kdbuckland

4 years ago

besitos para todos💓 vendo fotitos y videollamdas x wsp +56979313224 y ahora hago encuentros 😈😋

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kdbuckland

5 years ago

Looking for a witchy challenge? Try writing a new spell every day for 30 days!

You have full creative freedom and are free to interpret the prompts as you will. You can make a spell as specific or as vague as you like.

A spell to remember something

A spell to forget something

A spell to attract something

A spell to repel something

A spell to achieve a specific goal

A spell to heal

A spell that incorporates deities

A spell to create something

A spell for communication

A spell for money

A spell to be noticed

A spell to be hidden

A spell for creativity

A spell of safety

A good luck spell

A spell that involves alcohol

A spell that involves food

A spell to strengthen a relationship

A spell to destroy a relationship

A knowledge spell

A spell that incorporates technology

A spell that involves divination

A glamour

A spell that takes inspiration from your heritage

A spell jar

A spell that requires more than one caster

A self-care spell

A binding spell

A spell that breaks barriers down

A spell that you would never ever cast

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kdbuckland

5 years ago

Simple Witch Things You Can Do

○ burn your favorite incense or candle

○ walk around barefoot to connect with the earth

○ burn random candles as you please

○ cleanse your crystals

○ thank your crystals, pendulums, tarot cards, and other tools

○ give offerings to forest spirits or animals

○ draw in sand

○ paint your feelings

○ meditate on cleansing your mind

○ use your favorite essential oils !!

○ write down all the things you hate and burn it

○ listen to your favorite song, not caring about how many times it repeats

○ draw or doodle with an intention, similar to sigils, but easer to hide

○ love yourself

witchcraft is what you make of it, if you make it hard, it will be hard

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kdbuckland

4 years ago

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kdbuckland

5 years ago

IRISH MULE

All you will need.

2 ounces irish spirits (I used Jameson Whiskey)

6 ounces ginger beer (I used Unity Vibration Triple Goddess Kombucha Ginger Beer)

juice of half a lime about 1 ounce (use real limes taste so much better.)

lime slices for garnish

mint sprig for garnish

ice

Copper Mug

Instructions

In a cooper mug add ice, (always use a cooper mug no other glass will suffice). Next we will let the Irish spirits pour gently over the ice, coating each one in its nectar. Then we mix the lime juice, slowly, let the juice mingle with the spirits, before the final touch; topping with ginger beer. Now one mustn't simple stir such a delicate concoction, it must be done in counter clockwise motions. A powerful chant can be said here, one of affirmation, while stirring your potion. "I am passionate, I am proud, I am beautiful." Repeat as many times as needed, garnish with lime slices and mint. DRINK AND ENJOY.

*Ginger beer is to taste. If you like more of a whiskey taste, add less ginger beer. If you like a sweeter drink, add more! I usually just top the glass off with ginger beer.

Notes

Nutrition