❛ 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐃 𝐄𝐘𝐄 , Alicent Hightower And Rhaenyra Targaryen ❜

Lost confessions. | Caitlyn x Fem!Reader (feat. Vi)

(Part one)

Take this as a little offering whilst I recover lol-

Content: Spoilers for season 2, Slight Vi x Reader?, angst, hurt/no comfort?, Zaunite reader, wlw, kidnapping, alcohol, allusion to cheating? Idk, swearing, ooc?, Pit fighter vi, sfw

Reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns.

((Not proofread))

Looking back on it, you wondered what life would've been like if you never met either woman.

You imagined yourself living a peaceful life with your parents, perhaps being married off to someone eventually that will treat you well enough to live with. But alas, that thought simply rubbed you the wrong way, now that you were stuck in the whirlwind that was their love, devotion, and heartbreak. You were always the fixer, the one that held them together, the neutral middle ground in their fights and disagreements.

A Zaunite who knew the ways of the Piltovans, that's what made you perfect for the both of them... until even that wasn't enough.

Underappreciated and pushed aside for two different extreme ideologies, you haven't moved an inch out of your estate ever since Vi practically told you off as well. You had chased her down to the darkest parts of Zaun all on your own in hopes of salvaging what was left of your once rather intimate friend group and yet... there was no getting through to her. By the time you reached her, she became an unrecognizable, drunken mess that screamed at you to get lost. That you weren't Caitlyn, the woman that presumably haunted her with every breath. Not you, though, never you.

You always considered yourself an afterthought to everyone but your family. Everyone else saw you as an outsider on both sides, and it seemed like Vi deep down thought the same. "What would you know about being an actual, real Zaunite anyway? You're a rat pretending to be one of us. Now get lost before I make you." Oh, how cruel and cold her words were. She had never spoken to you like this before either. She was always so understanding, so gentle. But perhaps that part of her got lost in the blurry, fast life of a pitfighter, as she rolled her eyes at your tear-struck, heartbroken face and turned to another bottle to soothe the pain. It was a pain you couldn't fix this time around. No, you refused to.

And you treated Caitlyn with no difference either, ever since that night in your gardens in which you practically ran away from her for good. You have avoided her for three months now completely, refusing to even see, hear, or read a single thing from her. Your parents couldn't convince you, her father couldn't convince you, her soldiers couldn't convince you and she sure as hell couldn't either. But alas... what the commander wanted, she'd eventually get. Even if she had to pull some strings for it. Like making up an entire gala for an undefined victory that absolutely no noble could refuse, much to you and your family's dismay.

This led you to now, standing in a far away corner from the lavish crowd of guests around you, as beautiful music bounced off the grand walls of the ballroom. You would've been impressed if you didn't feel so conflicted. Eyes were in you at all times, the secret disdain hidden behind fake smiles and sickeningly sweet compliments that made your skin crawl. Everyone seemed to be in deep agreement that someone like you, who wasn't Piltover born, didn't belong in a place like this. Nevermind your frilly dress, the sparkly jewelry, the many hours it took you to look perfect as you knew deep down this would happen. It all didn't matter to them. Hell, you could've been a pig in lipstick for all they cared!

One thing that did comfort you was the lack of Caitlyn. You hadn't really seen her yet, just quick glimpses of her in the masses, of which you ducked out of her sight every time. It was a cowardly thing to do, and yet you had no choice. You knew she was looking for you. "Darling? How about you take a breather?" Your mother asked you gently, clearly worried about the pale look on your face. It was clear that you didn't want to be here. "I... alright, I'll be out in the gardens then." Excusing yourself, you pushed through the crowd hastily, head down until you finally reached the freshness of the crisp night air. You took a deep, reliving breath, glad to have escaped the loud and suffocating room at last.

As you traversed through the grandiose grounds, you found yourself getting lost on thought whilst the orchestra and buzz from the guests began to grow distant. The cold air nipped at the exposed skin of your neckline and arms, your dress flowing in the soft breeze that lulled you into a moment of tranquility. Looking up at the stars, they glimmered beautifully in the night sky. A wish to be a part of them came to mind, in which you wondered what it would be like to be admired and sought after by dreamers. Reach for the stars they say, but you never dared it, afraid to be burned by them until there was nothing left of you.

Frowning, you looked down at your gloved hands, a silver ring on it that Caitlyn had given you once as a gift for your birthday. It meant a lot to you, reminding you of a time in which the woman was still herself, something you so desperately held onto. You may have sounded pathetic, but else can you do? You were no hero, no soldier. You couldn't fight. You couldn't do a thing other than mourn, grief, and cry. You saw no strength in your weakness and left it at that. And the guilt of living such a perfectly pristine life whilst your people were suffering under your golden heel didn't help either.

Shaking your head, you turned to return back to the party in hopes of being able to convince your father to finally leave already, when a giggle stopped you dead in your tracks. Unable to hide your curiosity, you cautiously stepped towards the sound, perhaps just to see what was entertaining. Were there performances outside, too? Yet what you saw when you peeked out from behind a tall bush was perhaps the most unamusing thing you have ever witnessed.

"Oh, come on, Cait, what's the harm in some fun?" "Maddie... we're in the middle of a ball. Besides... I... have to speak to someone." The commander was leaning against a wall whilst the mousy girl trapped her against it, a flirtatious grin on her lips that made you nearly reel back in surprise. Just what were you looking at? What was the meaning of this? Why... were you so hurt? If this truly was what you assumed it was... then why would you care? You were never a couple. In fact, you never had the chance to tell her a thing about your conflicting emotions for her. Shaking fingers nervously brushed over the silver ring, eyes wide in sick anticipation on what was going to happen next. You couldn't look away despite your better judgment.

"Ah... Do you mean her? I thought you were over her... after all..." Maddie's hand idly brushed over the taller woman's shoulder, clearly showing off a form of intimacy that should never even occur in between their huge gap in ranks. And you could tell that it had become a bit too natural, a statement to how long this must've been going on for. "She's just some ignorant Zaunite who doesn't get you. She won't do you any good. So forget about her already, okay?" There was a ringing in your ears whilst the ginger girl pulled Caitlyn down for a kiss the woman hardly fought against. She must've agreed with what she was saying... and that killed you even further inside. For how long has this been going on? Even before her time as a commander?

Refusing to witness any of this mess any longer, you escaped the scene, never seeing the way Caitlyn pushed Maddie away from her with a scoff. "Stop that. I already told you that I didn't want to..." Her words died on her tongue when she saw a familiar ring glimmering in the grass. Ignoring the officer, she approached it and kneeled down to grab it, eyes narrowed deeply in thought. And then she realised it finally that it was yours. The one she had gifted you. It took her months to find the perfect sapphire gem for it, too. Seeing you sparkle with joy when you received it made all the efforts worth it, even if she didn't find the bravery to confess to you in the moment.

The regret of it all was hitting her harder than she ever thought it could, which resulted in her running back to the ballroom, desperate to catch up to you and tell you the truth. She had been blinded by her rage and grief for too long.

But... was it perhaps too late?

The answer was yes, but for a totally different reason than expected.

You hadn't returned to the party and instead ran further into the gardens until you found yourself getting lost. It was too dark to see anything, and fear was beginning to brew in your heart. It didn't help that you felt so awfully uneasy. Something was watching you, hunting you down carefully as you pushed your way through the dense bushes and flowery paths in hopes for an exit. A young doe running from a wolf hidden away in the shadows, that's what you were. Yet it was a lot deeper than that. Alot darker. You couldn't comprehend the extent of the inconvenience your existence imposed, but you'll learn soon enough. The wolf would make sure of it.

"A bit of a cold night for a walk, isn't it child?" Letting out a loud gasp, you jumped and pressed a hand against your chest. Snapping your head to the side, you saw the familiar large stature of the Noxian general. Pushing yourself up against a pillar nervously, you immideatly recognized the shiver of terror that ran through your body. There was something awfully wrong with her appearance, and you knew better than to trust that she didn't have any ill intentions. Your father had warned you well, but that wouldn't save you.

"General Medarda..." "Hm... are you lost? I can tell that you are. It must be scary to be all alone in such a... dark, empty place. Who knows what lurks in the shadows after all." She did. You knew it was her who must've been watching you this entire time. Sweat dripped from your forehead, body trembling despite your best efforts to stay strong. This won't end well. "What do you want from me?" You breathed out, ignoring her previous words as you weren't in the mood to humor her.

An amused smirk creeped onto her lips as she began to approach you so casually. The dangerous aura was practically suffocating you, however, making you shrink away and unaware of the figures that began to appear behind you, ready for the woman's orders. "You know... despite of how how uninteresting you are, you still somehow found a way to weasel your way into my plans. And especially into our dear commanders mind. I'm getting tired of it, really... she needs to focus on the betterment of her nation and not an unimportant girl like you." You frowned at her words, suddenly finding the strength to fight back if only verbally. If you were going down, then you might as well do it without any regrets. "So what? You will kill me? That's a lot of words for something so natural to you." You huffed, and that made the woman's eyes glint in interest. Perhaps you did regret that after all...

Shaking her head with a chuckle she shook her head and grabbed onto your chin roughly. "I was going to... but I think there are better ways to teach a lesson... Sleep well, child. That's the only rest you'll be getting for a long time." You opened your mouth to protest further, yet were cut off by something hitting you violently in the back of the head and knocking you out.

Crumbling to the ground, your eyes found the blurring stars above once more, a weak whisper of Caitlyn's name leaving your lips before it all went black.

Love like a Fool

Summary: I shouldn’t known from the moment my heart felt more for Caitlyn, that it was a mistake. I thought love was supposed to be about taking risks and loving like a fool. I don’t want to regret anything, but I have to limit myself because she feels uneasy. Is it because of me? I must be lacking in many ways. I promised myself to get better. I need to prove to others that I can.  

Warning: Slight fluff then pure angst 

Pairing: Caitlyn Kiramman X Fem Reader

Word Count: 6.2k

-

The target moves back and forth in quick and uneven motion as a way to stimulate the movement of humans. I place the sniper rifle closer to my body. The cold metal pressed against my chest. I narrow my eyes at the target watching it jerk back and forth. I place my finger against the trigger as I start to steady my breathing. My heart rate begins to slow. The breeze in the air seems to be silent for a moment. My eyes quickly shift to focus on one target as it starts rolling toward the center of the scope. A loud bang comes from my gun as I press the trigger. The smell of gun smoke reaches my nose as the smoke rises from the nozzle. I lower the gun and tilt my body to examine the shot. A hole is evident on the target, but not where I was trying to aim. The bullet was several inches below the head of the target. I frown and feel disappointment arising from within. 

I want to be better and prove to others that I can take on tougher tasks. I’ve been assigned as an enforcer, stuck with the simple role of Piltover's council gatekeeper. I want to be part of the bigger action, specifically, to be part of Caitlyn’s team. 

I know I am capable, or at least… I hope I am. 

News spread that Caitlyn Kiramman has become a Sheriff and I couldn’t agree more. She is amazing at her job. I’ve secretly studied her in admiration. I saw her in action. She is stern and confident, but at the same time so graceful. She balances fear and love so well. Her facade never falls to others, but I sense there’s a softness in her gaze when she notices me. It’s a quick and small look, so I can’t put a finger on it. All I can do in response is smile back while feeling my cheeks heat up. 

“Practicing again?” A voice snaps me out of daydreaming. A recognizable British accent. Refined and poised. I turn my head to see Caitlyn standing with her arms crossed. I widen my eyes before saluting her. She has a soft grinning smirk on her lips. Her beautiful long blue hair falls over her shoulders. She’s in her work uniform, seemingly that she just finished a task. 

“Yes,” I quickly respond to her question. She chuckles shortly and walks over, eyeing the target. She stops next to me, a little closer than I expected and I feel my heart rate increase. My eyes quickly flicker at the curves of her body then back down the ground in respect. 

“You practice quite a lot,” She notes. This isn’t the first time I’ve bumped into her at the practice shooting area. It’s actually quite often. Caitlyn is strict with her studies and skills. She needs to do things perfectly right. It is not strange to find her at the shooting range after work hours. She has gotten used to seeing me there as well. She never said it, but I believe she likes how I’m willing to get better. She notices how other enforcers don’t practice as much.

I shyly run my hand on the back of my neck. Her eyes glance down to watch my reaction. I peek between my eyelashes and make eye contact with her. The closeness and eye contact make me unconsciously grip the gun. I quickly look back down to the ground. Examining the distance between our shoes. 

“I want to prove to others I can be good,” I finally admit. I didn’t want to reveal the part where I dream of being in her team. 

That would be too silly of a confession. 

She raises her eyebrows and pauses, deep in thought. The wind gently blows against my bare skin as silence coats the air. I feel anxiety increasing while she continues to stare at me, motionless and speechless. There’s a shift in her eyes, a shift that I don’t understand. 

Does she think I can’t be good? Is she too afraid to tell me the truth? 

Thoughts swirl in my head naturally. It’s a negative trait that I endure every day. My mind runs thousands of thoughts that can be entirely false. But I also believe certain voices are true, but I have yet to distinguish the two. I furrow my eyebrows and force myself to look away from her. I couldn’t bear to continue to theorize what her expression meant. I hear her shift her body to lean her body weight against the bullet-loading table. 

“I can help you,” She offers. I feel my heart stop pounding to make sure I didn’t hear her wrong. I jerk my head up with wide eyes. Caitlyn, the best sniper shooter, is going to help me. 

“Are you serious?” I hesitate. What did I do to deserve this special treatment from her? She simply nods and a few hair strands fall over her face. She smiles while brushing her bangs behind her ear. I am still speechless, not knowing what to do next. She figures and gently reaches for my gun. Her fingers curl around the handle, a few centimeters from my hand. She brings it up to my chest. I look at her in confusion yet again. 

“Show me how you aim,” She orders. I lick my lips and move quickly to action. I do not want to waste a single second of getting trained by her. I turn my body to the targets and lift the gun up. I lean my head down to look through the scope. Suddenly I feel Caitlyn move her body to locate behind me. Her fingers gently tilt the tip of the gun at a specific angle. Her other hand moves to my hip. Like a young girl in love, my heart pounds hard. I would also blame the fact that I am touched starved. Working as an enforcer limits the time I can spend romanticizing with others. People also avoid me. I am no one special, I like to believe. 

This is far from romantic. I know she doesn’t like me, but with her body heat pressing against me. I can’t help it. It’s quite embarrassing. 

“You should stand more straight,” She corrects. I shiver at the realization of how close her lips are to my ears. The distance sends chills down my body. No amount of daydreaming can make up for this moment. I shallow away my emotions and straighten my back. I feel myself press against her chest. 

“Slow down your heartbeat and breathing,” She chuckles. My cheeks start warming. 

“Sorry,” I squeak. She doesn’t respond, but instead continues to coach. She removes her hand from my hip and grips my shoulders. She reminds me to tighten my muscles and grip. Once she is satisfied with my position, she removes herself and stands back. I secretly let out a breath of relief. If she continued pressing her body against me, I wouldn't be able to perform accurately. That was the last thing I wanted to do in front of her. 

“Now focus and calculate the timing,” She orders. I close my eyes to calm my breathing. When I feel my heartbeat going at a steady pace, I open my eyes. My sight completely focuses on the target. 

I need to get this right. I have to impress Caitlyn. 

My attention zooms into a specific target and I press into the trigger. Another loud bang echoes into the sky. I let out a shaky breath of anticipation. I immediately lower my gun to look at the target. I guess my hope was too high. The bullet hole was a few centimeters from the head. Better than before, but not perfect. 

Not perfect enough for Caitlyn. 

My shoulders slowly drop and I feel anxious thoughts creeping up again. I frown and look at her nervously. I don’t know what to expect. To my surprise, she seems sort of proud. 

“Good job,” She compliments. 

-

A couple of months of training have passed faster than I realize. I am surprised at how long she agreed to train me. No one else has gotten this special treatment. Even though there are times when she’s tired from a mission, she would still show up. As time went on it wasn't just training anymore. We would go out to eat dinner or a picnic on a sunny day. Not only have my skills increased, but my crush on her did as well. I spent too much time with her to not develop deeper feelings. I didn’t want to. I wanted things professional, just in case I ruined things. 

The more time we spent together, the more people talked about us. Baseless rumors begin to spread. I didn’t want to hear it, but people spoke loudly- as if I wasn’t there. They all picture me as someone who manipulated her way to Caitlyn. That I am nothing special. I have no rich or authoritative name for myself. No one knew who I was until I started involving myself with her. 

I thought these accusations would cause Caitlyn to stay away from me. She’s everything I’m not. After all, she has an image to keep. I do not want to stain it. 

But, she never stopped. 

Caitlyn started to teach me about combat. She wanted to enhance not only my shooting skills but my fighting as well.  

So here we are, standing on the mat with our fists up. I suck in a deep breath as sweat begins collecting on my neck. I feel a slight painful sore developing on my stomach from her punch that I failed to block. She gestures a finger at me to make the first move. I launch myself to her and she swiftly dodges and elbows my back. I grunt and stumble on my footing. I gather myself, not wanting to give up and turn to face her. Her eyes hint with glee when she notices a shift in my face. I clench my jaw and focus on her moves. Then I saw it. A small opening where I can tackle her. I rush forward, grabbing her arm. She lets out a gasp in surprise before I hurl her onto the ground. I quickly pin her onto the ground by locking my thighs around her wrist. 

I smiled brightly, my eyes sparkling. I finally did it. Her chest moves up and down quickly as she gets lost in my joy. She places her elbow onto the ground to support half her body up. I continued smiling, unaware of the plan she had in mind. 

She leans her head closer, testing the waters. Her lips linger over mine before she pulls back a little. Her heavy-lidded eyes gaze up. My smile begins to slowly drop in realization. I gulp and a blush appears on my cheeks. Her eyes flicker from my lips and back to my eyes. I hesitate, not knowing what to do, but I lean forward. Eager to capture her lips, but afraid to make the first move. She gently smiles, understanding my actions before closing the distance.

 Her soft lips pressed against mine. I squeeze my eyes shut and clench my fist.  She brings her hands up to touch my cheeks. Her thumbs draw a circle while her soft lips continue to move. I lean deeper into the kiss, wanting to permanently remember this moment forever. All my anxious thoughts seem to be silent just for a short moment. She is the first to pull away from the kiss. Leaning her forehead against mine. I place my hand over hers and smile. 

Caitlyn’s eyes suddenly become stern and she pulls her body away. My mind races in worry. I furrow my eyebrows while looking at her in confusion. 

“I’m sorry,” She apologizes. I shake my head slowly, trying to understand. 

Was the kiss a mistake? Did I do something wrong? 

“I…” I hesitate. I worry about my next words. I worried that she would push herself away if I said the wrong things. I wanted to confess my feelings, but I was afraid I would embarrass myself if she said it was a mistake. I wanted to tell her it was okay, but I feared she would think I didn’t feel anything. A part of me was so terrified that she did feel something for me, but the kiss awakened a realization in her. 

I never got the chance to gather my thoughts before she got up. I try to reach out and grab her wrist, but she hurries away. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll… see you sometime again,” She says before disappearing. I feel my eyes begin to water. My anxious thoughts may be right this time. As much as I try to think of a different conclusion, my negativity chokes up any other possible reasoning. 

-

Caitlyn avoided me. Every time she sees me walking by, she turns in the other direction. I try to force a smile. Understanding that she may be struggling with her thoughts. All I can do for her is to wait. I need to understand that I’m not enough for her. After several more days, I thought she had forgotten me. I went to my regular shooting range hoping to bump into her, but she never showed up. 

As I walk with my head down, I see a pair of shoes stop in front of me. I can immediately recognize her shoes. Caitlyn had blocked my walking pathway. I jerk back in surprise before examining her in confusion. Her eye circles are dark and her hair is messy. It seems like she has been lacking sleep. She licks her lips and plays with her fingers. I stand silent with a pounding heart, waiting for her to speak. She lets out a breath and I brace myself for the worst. 

“I’m sorry I avoided you,” She begins. I pause for a moment as her words sink. I summon my confidence by clenching my fist. My lips waver as I try to smile at her. I wasn’t actually happy, but I wanted to show her I appreciated her stepping up. I understand why she would want to avoid me. 

“It’s okay,” I answer, a little shaky for my liking. She glances around the hall as I assume she’s making sure no one else is around. A few people walk by, giving me an unexplainable stare. I tilt my head to the side to avoid people’s eyes. She then grabs my hand and tugs me along with her. I stumble on my footsteps to catch up with her. She pulls us into a dark room and slams the door. She breathes heavily, her chest moving up and down before turning to face me again. I stand awkwardly in the middle of the room. I can still see her figure with the small lamp in the corner. 

“I… I think I like you,” She confesses like the truth has been choking her to death. It's as if it’s a surprise that someone like her could be interested in someone like me. She stared at me with a scared expression like she didn’t fully understand herself. I feel my heart ache, but I force a smile again. 

She’s been struggling because of me. 

I opened my mouth to speak, but I realized I couldn’t say anything. 

“I don’t know what to say,” I admit. I shift my body weight uncomfortably. My hands come up to wrap themselves around me. A poor attempt to comfort myself. She pushes herself from the door and walks over to me. She hesitates a little, before reaching down to touch my hands. I stare at the way her fingers hold mine. She’s so gentle. 

“I want to try and love you,” She pauses, “but we have to do it in secret,” 

I tilt my head up to look at the sincerity in her eyes. I can tell she is worried. Wondering how people would view her if they found out she was meeting up with someone lowly like me. Debating if this reveal would hurt my feelings. It’s a little humorous that she doesn’t know the lengths I would go for her. 

I tightened my grip on her hands and tugged her a little closer. I examine the beauty that reflects off the orange light. She’s a beautiful woman worthy of respect and care. I remove one hand from her hold and place it on her cheeks. She leans into the touch, letting out a shaky breath. 

“I would do anything for you,” I confess like a fool in love. Her eyes dilate and she lets out a sigh of relief. Her shoulders relax as she finally smiles.

-

I never thought how much more I could fall for Caitlyn. I love her. I didn’t care about the hidden touches behind doors. The secret messages we pass. It was our love that I couldn’t regret. We completely ignore each other when passing by in the halls. Oh, how I wish I could shout to the world about her. Rumors between her and I have successfully died out. 

I wait patiently in my room, waiting for the skies to become darker so that Caitlyn can sneak her way over. I hear quiet quick knocks on the door. I stumble my way over and swing the door open. She stands with a shy smile on her face. I quickly grab her wrist and tug her in, slamming the door behind me. 

I pull her into a hug, soaking in her warmth and scent. She hugs back with the same amount of eagerness. We stay silent for a few more seconds before I pull away.

“Are you hungry?” I ask as I walk to the kitchen, “I can start preparing-“ 

She calls my name, cutting me off. I stop in my tracks to look at her. She seems hesitant again, her eyes wavering. A look that brings me back to the day we stood in the dark room. 

“I have to tell you something,” She explains. She starts walking to the coach and I follow along. I sit down, my knees brushing against hers. She reaches over to touch my hand with a stern look. 

“I got put on a very important case,” She says. I widen my eyes and smile. 

“Well, that’s great news right?” I chirp. She lets out a nervous laugh. Her gaze averts to the side for a brief second. My smile begins to drop slightly. 

“It is… but I have to be gone for a year,” She reveals.

“A year?” I repeat slowly. My grip starts to loosen from her hold. I shouldn’t be scared, but there is a part of me that worries. So much can happen in a year. 

“It’s a mission to go to the undercity and-“

I start to zone out. Undercity? That place is filled with horror stories. No sane person dares to step foot in there. At least that was how I was taught by others. I can’t imagine myself letting Caitlyn go down there. It’s just not safe. 

She squeezes my hands and I look back at her. My face is mixed with many emotions. I should not stop her from doing her job, but I don’t want her gone for a year in Undercity. What if she gets hurt and I can’t find her? How can I make a decision when I am unsure of myself? 

“Can you wait for me?” She whispers. 

The decision has already been made. 

I squeeze my eyes shut as I turn my head to the side. I didn’t want her to see me cry. She places her hands on my cheeks and slowly turns me to face her. I feel the warmth of her hands. 

“…when do you leave?” I sniff. 

“Tomorrow morning,” She responds. Time seems to pause for a moment. I wish it stayed like that; so that I could stay by her side longer. Tomorrow? This is so soon and sudden. I searched in Caitlyn’s eyes to find some type of hesitation, but there was nothing. I force myself to smile as my heart feels crushed. Nothing is going to stop her, not even my feelings. I understand that feelings alone can’t dictate her decision, but I wish it was considered just a little bit more. 

Did she really care about how I would feel? Did I not cross her mind when she accepted the mission? Do I matter that little? 

All the anxious thoughts blew away when Caitlyn pulled me in for a hug. How foolish am I to disregard my hurt so fast for her? Love makes a person a fool. 

-

Five months have passed since Caitlyn left to go to the Undercity. I have gotten used to the feeling of being alone. This feeling is rather normal and something I am more familiar with. I still keep my duties of guarding the gates of the council building. Days and days of people not sparing me a second glance as they walk by. I sometimes wonder if they would even notice if I didn’t show up one day. 

I keep the house clean. Making sure Caitlyn’s extra clothes are tucked neatly in my closet, ready for the day she comes back. When I lay in bed, I close my eyes and place my hand on the side where she usually lays. I imagine she is next to me. Humming and running her fingers through my hair. I smile for a moment, then frown when I realize I’m daydreaming again. It’s awfully cold without her touch. 

11 months have passed and I feel impatient for her return. The picture I keep on the desk lacks dust by how many times I’ve touched it. Running my fingers across her face to remind myself of how soft her skin feels. My heart squeezes when I examine the bright smile that the camera captures. I gently place the picture down and lean my head against the cold surface of the desk. 

Just a little more. I can wait, just like how she asked me to do. A simple task. I can do it. 

-

1 year and 1 month has passed. Anxiety eats away my skin as I scratch the surface with my nails. The councils ordered a one-month expansion, just in case Caitlyn had something important to do before they sent out a search for her. The enforcers are starting to become worried at the lack of her appearance. 

The councils issue a meeting to form a team of three of the best enforcers. I stand by the door with a racing heart, listening to the councils talk amongst themselves. They list off the best enforcers on documents. The back of my neck starts to feel hot. My feet feel the urge to step forward. I must go to find my love. I find myself walking forward recklessly.

“I apologize for my unprofessional behavior, but please allow me to join the team,” My voice clashes and silences the room. I glance around to see the confused look on their faces. They had no idea I was there. 

“And who are you?” One of the council's questions. They rub their fingers together with an amused smile. I bow down to show my respect. I tell them my name and title, with a shaky voice. There’s another pause again, til I hear someone snicker. That causes a domino effect where they all start to laugh. I bite my bottom lip as an embarrassing blush forms on my cheeks. My eyes water, tears forming at the edge. I turn my head down to stare at the floor. They question me and my motives:

“I never even noticed her there,”

“What can a gatekeeper do?”

“I admire how much courage that little girl has,”

“Why are you so concerned?” Mrs. Kiramman’s question sounds the clearest among the others. I tilt my head up to look at her. The truth feels like acid in my throat. Caitlyn had asked me to keep our relationship a secret. I must keep the promise. It’s not like it was hard to do so. I fully understand now why Caitlyn wanted it that way. They don’t take me seriously. I am just a laughing stock at this moment. I can’t dirty her name. 

I lick my trembling lips and shake my head. 

“I-I just want to-”

“I’m sorry dear, but we have an important discussion to do. The fate of my daughter relies on someone who can actually save her. Return to your position,” Mrs. Kiramman orders. I choke back my words. The little courage I have left vanishes. I quickly bow once more before walking back to my place. They return back to their conversation as normal, while I fight back tears. The uniform feels hot and stuffy against my skin. I feel unworthy of wearing the enforcer gear. 

The moon appears bright in the sky as I sneak my way down the streets. I tug my hoodie closer to hide my face as I make my way to the Undercity. I am going to search for Caitlyn on my own. 

The air starts to become more dense. I have never been here before. I can feel my anxious heart beating rapidly. A few strangers study me as I walk by. I grip my jacket closer to my body, avoiding their eyes. My footsteps quicken with one solid plan in mind. 

Find Caitlyn. 

I didn’t care how reckless I was being. Walking into the Undercity with no solid plan. I can’t even confidently say I can protect myself. Anything can happen to me before I can even find her. 

After walking for several minutes I realized how big this city is. I can’t just simply bump into her. I desperately look around to find someone that looks the least threatening. The task was harder to do than I expected. Most of the people are drunk or hunching their bodies as they are ready to launch forward. I scan more until I find a young boy. Innocent eyes with a few dirt marks scuffed on his cheeks. I walk to him, trying not to scare him off. He seems hesitant at first before I take my hoodie off to show my face. His shoulders visually relax. I kneel down to eye level with him. 

“Hi, can you help me find someone?” I whisper. His eyes dart around then back to me. He doesn’t respond. I shuffle around in my pocket to find money. Once I pull it out his eyes brighten. He quickly nods his head in agreement. 

“Can you help me find Caitlyn Kiramman? She is about this tall,” I stand to gesture her height, “she has blue hair and a sharp nose,” 

I try my best to describe her to him. I hoped that the description was enough for him. Caitlyn doesn’t look like she belongs in the Undercity. It must be easy to locate her. 

The young boy ponders for a moment before his eyes brighten. He places his hand out and motions me to hand the cash. I place it on top of his hand and he quickly puts it in his pocket. He gestures to me to follow along, his little footsteps patter on the ground. It took about several minutes before he paused and pointed down the street. I tilt my head to examine the low-light street. 

“She’s there?-“ I ask, but the little boy has already run off. I softly chuckle before composing myself. My heart quickens and the sound of my breathing is loud due to how quiet the streets are. I stand still for a moment to evaluate the setting. That’s when I hear a gentle giggle. 

A giggle that sends a wave of crashing memories. My eyes begin to water as I hear the sound again. It’s Caitlyn. I am sure of it. I silently follow the sound. I hear another voice, but can’t make out who it could be. Maybe Caitlyn made a friend while she was staying here. The sound leads me to a tunnel with stairs. 

I hide beside the walls and peek up the tunnel. There in the middle of the stairs is Caitlyn with another woman. My eyes widen in joy. Butterflies flutter in my stomach as I can’t contain my excitement. I found her! She’s alive and well! I open my mouth to excitedly shout her name, but quickly stop. 

Caitlyn places her hands on the woman’s hip, pulling her closer. She giggles again, biting the bottom of her lip. The woman sweetly smiles and leans her head closer. She kisses Caitlyn slowly, running her hands down her waist. 

Overwhelming sorrow sinks deep within me. My eyes become glossy, blurring my vision of them. My hand jerks up to grip my chest. It squeezes and pounds in pain. I never knew my heart could physically hurt. I gasp for air as I feel like I’m about to collapse. I lose my footing for a moment, sliding against the wall. I place a hand on the cold wall to hold myself.

I hear Caitlyn softly calling out my name in confusion. I quickly blink to clear my vision. Caitlyn walks down the stairs till she stands in front of me. She stares at me with a shocked expression. I feel myself forcing a stupid smile again. I squeeze my chest to numb the pain again. 

“…Hi,” I choke out. A failed attempt to sound happy. Her eyebrows furrow as she shakes her head.  

“What are you doing here?” She asks. I want to cry out laughing. How can she ask that question? It’s been longer than a year, did she lose track of time? Was she too busy? 

“Who is this?” The woman beside her asks. Caitlyn's eyes move back and forth anxiously. 

“…She’s just an enforcer,” Caitlyn reveals. I furrow my eyebrows in despair and disgust. I’m just an enforcer to her? 

Was all the lovely touches nothing to her? Did the day she cried on my lap mean nothing? Whose name did she moan out when I touched her? 

Without thinking I march up to her to push her. At least something to express my hurt, but the woman steps in front and shoves me hard. I slam against the wall and let out a small grunt. I already feel small and pathetic against her strength. 

“Wait, stop,” Caitlyn hurries to stop the woman. I peek up from my watery eyelashes, breathing heavily. 

“She’s lying,” I quietly laugh. The woman clenches her fist and walks up to me. She grabs a fistful of my jacket around my neck. I try clawing at her hands, but it was no use. She forces me to look at her. 

“Who are you?” She hisses again. A tear rolls down my cheeks. I would wipe it off, but my hand is wrapped around hers. I painfully smile again. 

“Her secret lover,” I choke out. I don’t have to keep it in anymore. The weight lifts off my shoulders. I had always wished the reveal was going to be for something better, nicer, and more beautiful. Yet we are here in the cold night air as I gasp for air. I take a peek at Caitlyn to see her face scrunch in guilt. The woman let go of me. I suck in a deep breath while sliding down to the ground. I grip my throat and tug the collar of my jacket away. I feel too suffocated by everything. 

I collect myself as much as I can before standing up again. I try to reach out and touch Caitlyn, but I pause and hesitate. My hands are shaking. I quickly bring it back to my chest to stop it from shaking so much. I lick my lips and look at her with pleading eyes. 

“I came to look for you,” I explain. 

“Why?” 

Why? 

“You were gone for more than a year! I was left wondering if you got hurt! I got worried,” I cry out. Caitlyn shifts her footing uncomfortably. She avoids my eyes by looking around. 

“Caitlyn…why are you being like this?” My voice cracks. The way she is treating me hurts so much. I don’t feel valued or special. As if… I’m just a nobody, just like how everyone else viewed me. I thought I was different to her. 

“Please talk to me!” I beg. A tear escaped from my eyes as I wept. I clench my chest to hold myself. She breathes heavily while her eyes dart around. She looks worried and guilty. 

“Was it because of her,” I direct it towards the woman, who scuffs in response. Caitlyn doesn’t reply. I take a step towards the woman, not understanding my actions. She clenches her jaw and rotates her wrist to get ready. Her eyes glisten against the street lights. Possession and challenge are evident on her face. I can tell she wants to fight me for Caitlyn. 

I am not backing down. I’ve trained hard for this. 

She swings her fist at me, but I dodge it. I launch my body to collapse her, but she wraps her arm around my waist. She elbows my back hard til I let go. She swings again and knocks the left side of my cheek. I stumble back and yelp in pain. I bring my hand up to cup my throbbing cheek. She is so quick and strong. With just one punch it sent me backward. I glare at her nervously. 

“Giving up so easily?” The woman laughs. I spit blood out my mouth and stand up again. She flickers her fingers to motion me forward. I swing my fist and she dodges, allowing her a clear shot at my stomach. I grunt and stumble back again. I gained my balance and I ran to her again, swinging recklessly. She punches my face near my nose. Pain shoots down my spine. I fall down and immediately grip my nose. Blood flows out and onto my hands. My chest moves up and down fast. I want to cry, but I choke it back when I look at Caitlyn. She stands with a worried look. She looks at me and the woman, pondering who she should care for more.

I need to prove I can be better. I need to show her I can protect her. I stumble to my feet, wiping my bloody nose with the back of my hand. 

The woman launches and lands a few punches on my face and stomach. I am gasping for air as I try to keep up. I try to swing to at least land one hit, but she easily dodges. Caitlyn watches me get beat up over and over. She looks away, clenching her eyes shut.

I failed her. 

I collapse onto the ground, choking out blood. Wheezing for air painfully. I knew I looked pitiful. Bruised, bloody, and crying. The woman looked untouched. I just embarrassed myself in front of Caitlyn. I try to get myself back up, but the pain pierces throughout my body. I stumble and fall again. I end up kneeling, my hands weak by my side. The woman tries to come to me again, but Caitlyn stops her by shoving her back. She begs her to stop hitting me. 

No, it shouldn’t have been this way. I needed to win to get her back. She can’t be the one begging for mercy. I had to be the winner. I can… 

I look down and watch my warm blood drip down onto the ground. Realization settles in my stubborn mind. 

I can’t protect her with these weak skills. I lost. 

Caitlyn's eyes shift and darken. She grips her fist and glares at me. She is angry that I am trying so hard to win her. That I allow myself to get beat up so badly knowing I can’t win- a fool so in love with her. I look up through my puffy and bloody eyes. I smile, feeling my lips crack open. 

“I’m sorry,” I wept. She forces herself to look away as tears roll down her face. Words continue to pour out from my lips. 

“I’m sorry I am not strong enough.

I’m sorry if… I ever embarrassed you.

I understand why you wanted us to be a secret… why you left and found someone who can protect you. 

I tried so hard to prove myself, but what’s the point anymore… I just simply can’t. 

People are right about me. They always were… and deep inside you knew it.” 

Tears continually roll down my cheeks. I could no longer fake a smile anymore. How can I put on a facade when I am evidently broken and weak? I bring my hands to my heart. An attempt to shield and comfort myself. My body shakes as I cry. I can’t blame her for hurting me. My understanding and naive heart is a curse made to ruin me. I loved too much and recklessly. It’s my fault.

Caitlyn brings a hand up to her mouth to silence her cries. She shakes her head. Millions of emotions crash in her mind, but she can't speak it out. It’s too late. She can not undo the mistakes she has made. 

The damage had already been made the moment she laid eyes on you. 

In the Quiet Moments

Pairing: Caitlyn Kiramman x Reader

Summary: After Caitlyn’s mother dies, the reader comforts her through her grief, and their unspoken feelings for each other quietly surface as they share a tender, emotional moment.

———

The Kiramman estate was cloaked in silence. Tonight, it seemed like the mansion itself mourned, as if it understood the grief in Caitlyn’s heart. You found her sitting by the window, knees pulled close to her chest, the rain outside echoing her loss. She looked up as you entered, her expression hollow, as though some vital part of her had been torn away.

Without a word, you moved closer, sinking to the floor beside her. You didn’t ask if she wanted company; you knew the offer of comfort would only remind her of what she’d lost. Instead, you reached out and lightly took her hand, your thumb brushing over her knuckles in gentle, repetitive strokes. To your surprise, she didn’t pull away.

"Caitlyn…" you began softly, but the words caught in your throat. What was there to say that could ease this pain?

“It’s strange,” she whispered, her voice a fragile murmur. “You think you’re prepared for something like this… and then it happens, and you realize you never were.”

Her words broke your heart. Caitlyn Kiramman, who was always so steady, so composed, was unraveling. In this moment, you couldn’t hold back anymore—not your feelings, not your concern, not your need to protect her from this crushing weight. She deserved to know, at least tonight, that she wasn’t alone.

“I don’t know if I can make it easier,” you said softly, holding her gaze. “But I’ll be here… for whatever you need.”

For a moment, she just looked at you, her eyes searching your face as if trying to find answers there. Then, with a tentative sigh, she leaned into you, resting her head on your shoulder. Slowly, you wrapped your arms around her, pulling her closer, feeling the delicate trembling in her shoulders as she let herself lean into the comfort you offered.

You sat like that for a while, your fingers tracing soothing circles along her back, your other hand still gently holding hers. Gradually, her breathing slowed, and the tension in her body eased. She shifted slightly, leaning more against you, her hand tightening around yours as though afraid you might slip away.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice soft against your shoulder. “I… I don’t know what I’d do without you right now.”

You brushed a loose strand of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear with a tenderness that had always come so naturally around her, yet you’d always hidden it behind careful walls. But tonight, in this quiet vulnerability, it felt impossible to hold back.

“You’ll never have to find out,” you promised, barely a whisper, yet heavy with everything you felt.

Her gaze lifted to yours, something in her eyes softening as her fingers grazed your cheek, tracing a line so gentle it made your heart stutter. Her hand lingered there, her thumb brushing along your jaw as though exploring a secret she’d kept hidden for too long.

“Sometimes… I’m scared of needing anyone like this,” she murmured, her voice raw with emotion. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you too.”

You leaned forward, resting your forehead against hers, a silent response that she didn’t have to worry about that. There was something in her eyes that was both familiar and new, like she was only now letting herself show what she’d felt all along. You felt it too—an intense, quiet longing that had simmered beneath the surface, bound by unspoken fears.

“Caitlyn, you don’t have to hide from me,” you murmured, letting your hand slide down to hold hers again. “I’m not going anywhere. I never was.”

She closed her eyes, taking a deep, shuddering breath as if finally allowing herself to let go. And then, in a moment so small yet so precious, she leaned in, her lips brushing yours with a hesitance that spoke to both fear and trust. It was a delicate, fleeting touch, but it held everything she hadn’t said. It was a promise wrapped in fragility, a reassurance that you were right there with her.

You pulled her closer, gently, resting your chin atop her head as she nestled into you. You held her as she drifted off in your arms, letting sleep finally take her, trusting you to keep her safe. For the first time, it felt like you were both exactly where you were meant to be—wrapped in a silent understanding, neither of you needing to say more.

In the soft quiet of that moment, as you held Caitlyn close, you knew she felt it too: you weren’t just her friend. You were the anchor that would see her through this loss, and she was the part of your heart that you had always, always waited to share.

———

rolling random characters on the wiki until i get one i want to draw

The Wrong Side - P2 [Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader x Abby Anderson]

hi besties sorry this took 84 years, i’m very indecisive </3 back to working on one shots i promise <3

Part One 

Warnings: Language, some last minute editing🏃🏽‍♀️

Keep reading

exceeded caution: part 1

she would have chosen the devil

series masterlist | next part

summary: when your relationship with the younger carpenter sister fails, what happens when thoughts of her older sister start to take over your mind? 4.1k words pairing: tara carpenter x f!reader into sam carpenter x f!reader warnings: toxic relationship, cursing, fighting, alcohol consumption, drug consumption, frankie mentioned, out of character tara.

a/n: this is actually such a bad first chapter because its mostly set up but i promise the next chapters are so much better. but ily carpenter sisters mwah mwah.

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

couples fight, right?

that’s how they show they care, right?

that’s what you were always taught when talking about relationships.

you and tara had started off as friends with benefits. you met early in freshman year and the attraction was instant.

when you started to meet her friends, you quickly learned about their experience in woodsboro. you had known about the notorious killer but you never thought you would find yourself amongst the people associated with the incident.

as time went on, you decided to shoot your shot with her. your feelings became deeper than the desire to satisfy each other in bed.

you asked her out on a proper date after chasing her halfway across campus. you were sweaty and panting but when she delivered a kiss to her cheek with a "yes, i would love to", you knew it was worth it.

after a few dates, you learned that tara had a fear of getting close to people. she told you about amber and how she'd developed issues with commitment after that disastrous relationship.

so when you and tara started fighting at a higher frequency, you thought it was just because you didn’t want to lose each other.

you chalked it up to the perpetual state of stress she was in due to her sister being overprotective and not letting her go out as often as she used to.

then you started noticing the cracks in your theory when tara started fighting with you over the smallest thing. your jacket didn’t match her skirt, you chewed a little too loud, you handed her the wrong coffee order.

you did your best to calm the girl when she was in her angered state, your efforts proved to be futile when she would just kick you out of her room and you’d have to do the walk of shame out of her apartment.

only to make things worse, you usually bumped into sam on the way out. you knew your girlfriend’s older sister was overprotective of her and you were worried about what she thought of you.

sam often watched you leave from the kitchen, shooting you a look that you couldn’t decipher.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

"there's a party tonight for halloween, we should all go." mindy proposed to the group. it was a frat party, and you hated frat parties.

"we should!" your girlfriend, tara, exclaimed.

"is sam even going to let you out of the house?" chad asked, chuckling softly at tara's excitement.

"uhh... that's an issue for later." she said, looking away. you saw the gears turning in her head.

"you're not gonna tell her, are you?" you asked her, you knew her all too well. she turned to you with a small glare on her face.

"and what of it?" she said, snapping a bit. you seem to have taken her out of deep thought. you should have known that would be her response.

whenever a sore subject would come up, you tried not to bother her too much about it. you should have held your tongue, knowing you were talking about one of the sorest subjects— her sister. you frowned at her.

"i was just trying to tease, tara." you clarified. "it's okay, i won't judge you for it. i know sam's been overprotective recently."

tara seemed to back down from her anger when you said that. she just turned back to her phone as you turned back to your uneaten lunch.

you agreed to the party under the impression that it might be good for you and tara. it might be nice for her to get out of the house for once and spend time just being a young adult.

"i'll go as a cowboy." chad chimed into the conversation again. you had no idea what you were going to put together at the last minute.

"i'll throw together a pirate outfit." tara shrugged her shoulders, thinking back to her own closet.

"maybe i could be the parrot on your shoulder." you joked at her, she rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her face.

"please don't." she laughed softly. you loved her laugh so much, and you loved being the reason for it. you’ve grown to cherish those little slivers of happiness between the two of you.

“okay.” you retreated your statement. “i’ll go as an angel.” you grinned. you had a dress waiting for you back home and some spare angel wings you used for a previous costume party.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

you were on your third drink of the night and had your arms around chad and ethan, singing the lyrics to sweet caroline. you three were swaying together on the dance floor.

mindy and anika looked over you three and rolled their eyes. it’s like they were meant to be.

you realised that your girlfriend was nowhere to be seen, that was concerning. she’d usually be joining you three in your antics.

you turned around to see her at the drinks table, talking to a taller man in a white shirt. you recognized him from somewhere but you weren’t entirely sure.

you opted to trust tara instead of the sinking gut feeling you had. she tended to get angry at you when you acted impulsively, you wanted to avoid that tonight.

you stepped away from the boys and made your way over to mindy and anika. you put your arm around mindy, you both had a great relationship— it was like you were her non-sibling twin flame.

"hey spoilsport. you suggested coming! why are you hiding all the way out here?" you asked her, leaning your head on her shoulder. you spotted a smile creep up her cheeks.

"because someone has to make sure all of you get home safe and sound." she poked your nose and you pulled your head back reflexively.

"that shouldn't stop you from having some fun with us too." you prodded more, trying to get her to loosen up.

however, mindy's point proved itself when you heard commotion come from the stairway. you turned your heads to see chad and tara along with the man in the white shirt by the staircase.

"holy fuck, is that frankie?" mindy asked.

it was like a jolt had electrified your entire body.

frankie.

you should have listened to that gut feeling. it got worse as you spotted tara by his side, his hand wrapped around her wrist.

you felt a fire rage in your belly and an overwhelming concern for tara. you made your way over only to already hear chad telling him off.

"what's going on?" you asked as you approached, standing shoulder to shoulder with chad.

“none of your business.” tara spat out at you, you looked at her with worried eyes. you never provoked her when she was like this but you realised the gut feeling not only applied to frankie but also tara.

“chad.” you called the boy’s name out, indicating that you wanted an explanation.

“frankie was trying to take tara upstairs for god knows what.” chad glared at the man a couple of steps above him.

your jaw clenched and fury filled your pupils.

“she wanted it, dude.” frankie shot back, “she asked me to.”

you looked over at tara only to see that she wasn’t looking at you, she was looking down at the accumulating crowd.

“tara, surely not.” you said, almost pleading. it was a contrast to your angry stare.

she didn’t respond.

she didn’t say a word.

“bro, shut up. she’s drunk and she isn’t thinking straight.” chad fought back at frankie. you snapped out of your thoughts and looked over at the two men.

“he’s right. she isn’t capable of making decisions. you have no right.” you said.

“whatever.” frankie rolled his eyes and pulled tara up the stairs, causing the shorter girl to tumble.

chad snapped and grabbed frankie by the shirt, throwing him down the stairs. you immediately went to check on tara.

“hey, love. let’s get you up. are you okay?” you asked her but you were simply met with silence and her trying to yank her arm away from your touch. she helped herself up but not without struggling.

you watched the altercation between chad and frankie go down, the two boys shoving each other back and forth.

you looked over at tara. you had almost forgotten the look on her face when you asked her if she was really wanting to go upstairs with frankie. she was inebriated, she wasn’t thinking clearly. she didn’t mean it— you could tell yourself that all you want but tara was never one to hide her emotions— especially if it was annoyance.

your thoughts were cut short when you saw sam carpenter walk straight in to the party.

fuck.

you couldn’t zone in enough to hear their conversation from the stairs, but your eyes did enough when they saw sam tase frankie’s balls.

you almost laughed at the sight of the man falling to the floor, but you knew you had to do something.

you stepped in suddenly, holding the older carpenter’s shoulders.

“let’s go. we don’t need any more trouble.” you thought you would be met with a scolding but sam simply nodded at you. she walked over to tara and helped her down the stairs, practically dragging her out of the party.

“sam, let me go!” your girlfriend protested. you followed behind the sisters along with chad, ethan, anika, and mindy.

tara managed to break herself free from sam’s grasp when you were all outside on the street. you stopped in your tracks and it landed you beside sam.

“tara, really?!” sam yelled at her sister, “sneaking out?! i had to find out from quinn that you were here. what if something happened to you?!”

“nothing was gonna happen, sam!” tara rubbed the inner corners of her eyes, trying to wrap her head around the situation.

“really?! cause i don’t think that guy was gonna let you go easy!” sam gestured back to the house. “and what were you thinking?! you have a girlfriend.”

“oh please, she won’t care.” tara scoffed. you were standing right there, but it was like she looked straight through you. how could she say that about you?

“right.” sam stopped her before she could say anything else. “i’m taking you home.” she said. she turned around to you, making eye contact. your breath hitched in your throat. “and you too. c’mon.”

you had to oblige, you weren’t going to fight against an angry sam.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

the car ride was more eerie than silent.

despite the looming quiet, you looked over at tara in the rearview. she was staring outside the window in the backseat while you sat in the front. sam had forced her into the back, saying she didn’t wanna get thrown up on.

you looked over at sam, her eyebrows furrowed as she drove you both back. you wondered what was happening in that head of hers. she had been through a lot too. her protective nature was a product of everything that had happened in woodsboro, you found your concern growing for her too.

you helped tara up to the apartment with sam. at one point, you gave up and decided to princess carry her. she protested at first but realised she had no other choice.

you put tara down on her bed, taking off the bandana that covered her hair. you went into her closet to grab some clothes for her, kneeling down about to help her.

she suddenly turned away from you.

“tara, please. let’s not fight.” you pleaded with her, wanting to get her comfortable more than anything.

“fighting is the only reason i stay with you.” she mumbled.

“what?” you looked up at her from your kneeling position, trying to help her take her shoes off.

“you’re so nice all the time.” she glares at you. “you’re too different from her.”

oh, her. you knew.

“but i like controlling you. it’s almost too easy.” she had a venom-laced tongue tonight, the alcohol allowing the toxin to seep through your skin. “but i feel absolutely nothing for you.”

you finally knew the reason for your fighting.

“i almost even hate you sometimes though.” she admitted. “i only said yes to going out with you cause we were in public. if it was anywhere else, i would have rejected you.”

you were silent, you were stunned.

“i’m too young to settle down too, y’know?” she followed up, it was never-ending. “nothing was gonna happen with frankie. i knew better— he’s disgusting. but you had to end the fun when i was finally allowing myself to realise i had other options.” she scoffed.

her words didn’t make sense to you. she wouldn’t do that, she couldn’t do that. surely she had some heart in her.

you felt disgusted with yourself. you stepped back and had to hold back from saying anything. it was late, they had another roommate who was asleep and sam was waiting for you in the living room to take you home.

when you stepped back, tara rolled into bed, pulling the covers to her chin. you stared at her, tears forming in your eyes from what she said.

you were being used.

and she played you like a fiddle.

you were dressed as an angel, which was ironic.

because tara would rather have the devil.

you had tried to be the best possible person for her. you took everything she’s been to into consideration, always looking after her. but you realised she didn’t want that, she wanted someone else.

you covered your mouth to stiffle sobs that threatened to escape your lips.

you walked out of her room only to nearly come crashing into sam, who was leaning on the wall by the doorway the whole time.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

sam had previously been in the kitchen, preparing a glass of water for tara. she realised you were taking a bit longer than she expected, she figured you fell asleep next to tara.

she knew the nature of your relationship with tara. she had to listen to tara’s entire thought process of saying yes to you asking her out. she even discouraged tara, letting her know that it wasn’t fair to you.

but tara always had a mind of her own.

when she heard soft voices, she decided to come and check on the two of you. she stopped walking and listened in when she heard what you were talking about.

oh, she felt sick.

she felt sick hearing her younger sister say those words to you. she always cherished tara. she missed her sister that wasn’t capable of hurting a fly but quickly let those thoughts go when she acknowledged that the girl that she cared for was gone.

she leaned against the wall and heard your footsteps quickly approach. she didn’t expect you to almost crash into her, her hands flew to your waist, stabilising you.

she hadn’t gotten a good look at you earlier, you were dressed as an angel. a part of her almost smiled at how pretty you looked. sam always thought you were pretty, her eyes weren’t painted on.

“hey…” she said, watching you wipe your tears away. “here, take this.” the water meant for tara quickly changed ownership.

you declined the water, shaking your head and waving it away.

“please. you’ve been crying.” you hated that sam carpenter caught you in this state. you hoped to compose yourself before seeing her again.

“sam, it’s fine. let’s just go, please.” you brushed past her, she quickly turned and followed you out. she grabbed her jacket and her keys before following you downstairs.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

“you didn’t deserve that.” sam broke the silence. you slowly turned to her and just stared, you were still trying to find the words.

“sam…” you started.

“no. it doesn’t matter.” she interjected. “i’m sorry about tara.”

“it’s fine. i can handle it. she's right anyway."

“it’s not. and she isn't."

you felt yourself crawl back into your shell. the order in sam’s voice, like she was a general, made you feel like you couldn’t say a word.

“you deserve better than her." she suddenly turned to look at you, her glare wasn't like tara's though. hers was more angry at you for saying those things about yourself.

"she's just stressed." you try to justify tara's actions. you still harboured feelings for the girl. it was going to be hard to see it any other way.

"don't try and do that." sam shook her head, pulling up outside your apartment. "you're a grown ass woman, you know better than to try and justify someone hurting you."

you'd never seen that side to sam before. she was always tara's timid older sister, a strong but silent type. you didn't expect to hear her suddenly standing up for you.

"i just need a night, sam." you didn't want to talk about it anymore, it was all too much for you.

"get some rest." she nodded at you while you pulled at the door handle, unlocking it and hopping out. you leaned down and poked your head back into the car.

"thank you for the ride home. i appreciate it. i'll see you soon."

sam nodded at you. "goodnight."

"goodnight, sam."

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

tara thought her eyes were burning in the sunlight. she felt herself wither away as she was hit with a pounding headache.

her throat was dry but as she blinked away the exhaustion, she realised there was a glass of water by her bedside. she practically leapt for it, chugging it all in one go.

she was still in her clothes from last night. she got up to change into something more comfortable and take her make-up off. it was the weekend so she had nowhere to be, deciding to dedicate the free day to recovering from her wicked hangover.

she walked out of her room to see sam making breakfast. she could literally eat anything right now.

sam looked just as exhausted as her.

memories started flooding in from last night, the fight that ensued coming back to her

"jesus sam, no way you actually used a taser on someone last night." tara grumbled as she took her seat on the dining table.

"i absolutely did. and i'm not regretting it." sam retaliated, setting a plate down in front of tara. "eat up. you're gonna need the energy for today."

"why? what's today?" tara asked, already wolfing down the food in front of her.

"do you really not remember anything from last night?" sam asked her, sitting down beside her with her own plate of food.

tara shook her head which led to sam explaining what you two talked about that night.

tara was horrified. she felt so guilty. sure, she knew she didn't lie completely, but she knew you didn't need to hear that.

and it was too late to take it back now.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

five knocks woke you from your own slumber.

you groaned and pushed yourself off the mattress, glitter still coating your eyes from your costume last night. you immediately rolled into bed after changing last night.

you threw the door open, a frustrated look on your face.

tara.

oh, and sam around the corner.

sam shot you a sheepish wave, you waved back at her. you knew the only reason that tara was here was because sam brought her. while you appreciated the gesture, you knew there was only one way this was ending.

"you shouldn't have kept this going for as long as it did!"

you yelled at tara. you two had been going at it for ten minutes now, you were sure the entire apartment complex could hear the two of you. and you knew they could hear your heart breaking.

"what the fuck was i supposed to do?!" tara exclaimed back. "walk up to you and oh hey, i don't actually have any feelings for you?!"

"yes! exactly that." you shot back, scoffing and crossing your arms across your chest. "you should have been honest with me, tara."

"i couldn't. you... you were good for me." tara whispered, her anger subsiding. "you were kind and just what i needed after everything that happened. i thought that maybe i could grow to have feelings for you."

"you shouldn't have taken that chance. you basically lied to me for months." your posture straightened, your jaw tightening. "it wasn't fair."

"i know... i know..." tara said, trying to calm you a bit more. "i'm sorry."

"you know that sorry isn't gonna cut it, right tara?" you huffed, shaking your head at her. "we're done."

she stared at you for a beat, she didn't believe that you ended it. you were so quiet all the time, always kind and happy. you never took the initiative, she thought she would have to do it. to say you surprised her was an understatement.

"i understand." she nodded. "i'll go."

"yeah... you'd better." you weren't going to stop her, she was the last person you wanted to see.

you opened the door for her and saw sam avoiding your eyes around the corner.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

three weeks later, you hadn't seen much of your friends. you decided to be the one to keep your distance, you hadn't even seen mindy all that much.

it wasn't until you heard your phone buzz on a random friday morning that you realised that you were missing your dear friends.

"come over tonight, we're watching a movie." a text from mindy.

"we're?" you responded. you knew that mindy would pick up on what you were putting down.

"yes. tara will be there. but we haven't seen you in ages. i'll put you on seperate ends of the room." she typed quickly.

"okay. what time?" you missed your friends more than anything, it was worth seeing tara if it meant you got to see everyone else too.

"4 plus 3." mindy replied, you chucked your phone to the side and sighed. you had to spend the rest of the day psyching yourself up to face everyone again.

𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩 𓆪𓆩

you arrived at the twin's place at exactly seven sharp.

you walked in and saw that everyone else was already there, surrounding the television.

"bystanders reported seeing the killer with a black cloak and sporting the infamous ghostface mask."

oh no. oh no no no.

you knew all the stories, you'd seen what the killer had done to the carpenters and the twins. and you couldn't believe that he was back.

silence coated the walls of the room, everyone was too shocked to say anything.

tara ran out of the room into another area of the apartment, mindy and chad following behind her. sam walked out the door. you wanted to go after tara, but you thought you might make things worse in that sector. she already had the twins following her, and sam had nobody.

you trailed behind sam. she ran down the stairs, sitting down on the end step, her head falling into her hands. you slowly approached, sitting down on the end step beside her.

"i'm so sorry." you whispered, looking straight ahead.

"its never gonna fucking end." sam sobbed out, her fingers tangling into her hair.

you sat in silence, your palms flat on your lap. you didn't know if you should do anything or say anything.

"there's nothing i can say or do to make this better... but i hope you know, there's more of us now. no way in hell are we leaving you alone in all of this." you said, determined. "you aren't going to go through this alone, sam."

sam peeked her head out. your words were something she had heard before, but coming from you, she felt different about them. she knew you didn't know how to reassure her, you hadn't been through the same thing. you two only knew each other in passing, but she appreciated it.

she turned to you, and you turned to her.

this was the closest you two had been ever.

had she always been this beautiful?

had you?

you shook your head to shake away your thoughts, now was not the time. you could tell she was also trying to push her own thoughts away.

"thank you, i appreciate that." she whispered, a small but genuine smile flashed at you.

"do you want to sit here for a bit longer?" you asked her.

sam begun to think that tara was right. you were incredibly kind and considerate, you could read people like they were an open book. she nodded at you and you nodded back at her.

you two proceeded to sit in a comfortable silence.

you could hear thumping above you, knowing that the twin's apartment was active with stress and fear.

but you couldn't move. you had to be there for sam.

and you meant what you said.

no matter what, you weren't leaving.

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

author's journal i actually am also unsure about this set up for the series. i hope my writing gets better as it goes on but the set up was a bit rough to write and even read. but i promise better content soon y’all 😫 i also would have written a longer drunken argument scene between tara & reader but i needed some sam emphasis, this might get edited in the future

on another note, okay yeah i have so much love for the carpenter sisters actually. this idea came to be out of nowhere when i was watching scream vi to fall asleep and i immediately told emma about it so everyone say ty emma ilysm liefje. she's had to deal with all my bullshit recently so this entire series is dedicated to her <3

another thing is heaps and heaps of credits to @shdysders one of my current favorite writers because the drunken argument scene is hella similar to theirs from one of their fics, if only (which you all should read btw.) thank you babes.

andddd let me know if you wanna get added to the taglist for this fic also and i’ll be more than happy to oblige <3

Is It Casual Now?

Katniss Everdeen x Reader

A/N: hey guys im permanently stuck in my hunger games era so here’s a fic about the one and only katniss everdeen. she’s the masc of my dreams i need a woman like her y’all. This is kinda sad so be warned <3 (not proofread sorry for typos)

summary: you and katniss were both winners of the hunger games and afterwards found solace in each other due to shared trauma. you never made anything official both just having an unspoken routine of doing things committed lovers do. But when it becomes too much for you to not be more to Katniss you distance yourself almost ruining the bond you and Katniss share.

—

Two hundred days, three minutes, and sixty seconds you’ve stayed with Katniss. Two hundred days, three minutes, and sixty seconds Katniss has stayed with you. You lie in her arms, her stroking your hair wondering why you’ve never left her mind since that day in the arena. She could never imagine her life without you. Sure she’s had friends, but never one as close as you. Never someone that would stay up late with her just to brush her hair and make sure her basic needs were met when she was unable to meet them herself.

The arena haunted her, and you, in ways that were impossible for anyone who hadn’t experienced the games to imagine. Shed see you trembling in your sleep. Struggling to control your body along with your thoughts. Shed hear your cries at night. All she was able to do was press warm kisses against your skin until you’d wake up and cry into her shoulder. Your shared kisses were enough to keep you both sane each day. A reason to keep trudging through the hell that was your minds.

But that’s what friends do right?

Katniss walked into the door boots dripping from the snow. Her sense of smell immediately filled with the sweetness of blackberries and honey. A luxury in District twelve that you both were only able to afford due to the victor money. She walked up to the sight of you brewing hot tea on the stove with the blackberries you delicately picked by hand. You looked beautiful, more gorgeous than anything shed ever seen. The forest, her favorite place, couldn’t compare at all. Walking up behind you she grabbed your waist and you leaned into her touch having missed her. “Tea?” You ask, brushing your fingers across her cold face. She nods her head at you and sits at the table closest to you. You set the tea in front of her hoping it will warm her up.

You look up at her face admiring her and she stretches her arm out for you to hold her hand. You gladly comply. Rubbing her hand you feel something warm and wet against them. She was bleeding. “Kat.” You look at her disappointed she’d hurt herself hunting again. “Mm?” She mumbled not paying attention to your dissatisfied expression. “You cut yourself out there. Again.” She looks down trying to hide the cut along her face that you hadn’t noticed yet. Much to her disdain you finally notice and you grab her chin so she’ll turn and let you inspect her injuries. “I just got nicked by the bushes, nothing crazy.” She says clearly lying. “I’ll be right back.” You say getting up and walking into the downstairs bathroom.

You walk back in with alcohol and cotton balls.

You move her onto the couch so that you can get closer to her cuts. You try to find a comfortable position on the couch so you can tend to her but you’re obviously struggling by how much you’ve adjusted yourself. Katniss notices and grabs at your hips to pull you closer to sit on her lap. As you tend to her cuts she rubs circles on your waist and back. Enjoying the feeling of you this close to her.

“Last one.” You say as you’re about to deal with the injury on her nose. You’re practically sharing breaths with how close you are to her. She can’t help but admire you this close. Your features that look like God himself spent extra time on you just to make you as beautiful as you are. “All done.” You say pressing a kiss to her lips. She smiles into your lips before pulling away. “Thank you what would I do without a friend like you?” You smile and get up to go back to the kitchen.

You can’t help but think about her words. “A friend like you” You’d never really thought about it before but were you guys really “friends” Did friends act this way towards each other? It’s not like you both had ever mentioned this unspoken bond between the two of you. The kissing, cuddling, the domestic aura of it all. It wasn’t anything like you and your friends from the past had done. But it felt as if Katniss hadn’t realized this. And even if she did, you doubted you were worthy of a relationship with her.

The truth was, Katniss had thought about the bond you shared with her. It runs through her mind 101 times a day. She wants more with you. She wants everything with you. But you were blind to this fact. The thought of her not feeling the same way as you tugged at your heart everyday. So much so that it was hard to be around her.

Youd started avoiding her. You’d crawl out of bed each morning gently to not wake her and leave the house for hours and hours on end. Exploring shops, the lakes, anywhere that she wasn’t. You knew it was wrong to leave like this but your heart hurt more than your mind could handle.

Your behavior shocked her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d fallen asleep on the couch with you wrapped in her arms. She missed you. It was hurtful to her why you’d changed so suddenly. Did she upset you? Had she done something wrong? She tossed these thoughts around in her brain for hours and hours each day before it became too much.

On a rainy afternoon you’d been gone all day. Out doing God knows what. You’d come home to cook for Katniss. The one thing you hadn’t stopped doing since you knew she was unable to cook herself. And she was no where to be found. She’d usually be in the kitchen waiting for you or in your shared bed asleep.

You noticed her hunting boots were gone and you realized she had been in the forest. She never hunted this late so you decided to go and find her. You walked over to her normal spot picking berries you’d found along the way. You got closer and saw Katniss. She was sitting alongside a tree knees interlocked with her arms. She was trembling. Her eyes looked dull and you could tell she hadn’t moved in hours.

“Kat..?” You said running up to her. She barely looked up at you or acknowledged your presence. You palmed her forehead shivering at how cold she really was. “You need to come home.” You assumed she would argue but she simply stood up walked alongside you. Looking down at her hunting bag you noticed nothing was in there. Had she not even hunted anything this whole time? Why had she been out here?

As you went into the house you sat her down on the couch and lit the fireplace. She still hadn’t said one word to you. She was angry. You turned the stove on to boil water for tea and then sat in front of her. You both sat for a few seconds.

“You left me.” Katniss says, her voice monotone.

You look over at her confused. “Left you where Kat?” She looks at you as if she’s shocked you don’t understand what she’s saying. “You’ve left me. For days Y/N.” She glares at you. “Am I not enough? I only see you for 2 hours each day. You leave before I wake up and only come back to make dinner. Then you go upstairs to fall asleep before I do. Just so you don’t have to talk to me. What have I done Y/N? I don’t understand.”

Her anger turns into sadness as she chokes on the last bits of her words.

You look at her teary eyed. The weight of her words hit you. How would she understand your reasons for avoiding the one person who really meant the most?

A tear runs down your cheek at the thought of what you had made her feel. You grab her and hold her, the both of you sobbing into each other.

“I never meant to leave,” You whisper. “All i’ve ever wanted was you Katniss. I don’t want to be just there when you need me, I want to always be there.” You sob looking away from her. She looks up at you teary eyed, her eyebrows mushed together at your confession. “I need you so much Kat. It’s hard for me to be around you when I know i’m not worthy of you like that.”

To her the thought of you not feeling worthy enough for her was incomprehensible. “Y/n? Please look at me.” She begged. You looked over at her with shame. Feeling embarrassed and unworthy.

“You’re all i’ve ever wanted.” She says softly. “I always want you there because I always need you.”

She moves closer to you again this time cupping your face with her hands. “You’re more than worthy.” She says before pressing her lips onto yours.

You pull away and smile softly at her. “Please never leave me again y/n.” Katniss says with desperation in her voice. “I won’t.” You say. “I’m sorry.” You grab her hand and squeeze it.

That night was the first night in weeks you went to bed and everything felt better. You slept in your girlfriend’s arms and the world seemed to make sense.

The Wrong Side - P4 [Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader x Abby Anderson]

Part Three

Warnings: language, last minute editing🏃🏽‍♀️

It has been months since you last saw Ellie. Months since you left her lying on the theater floor, despite her begging for you to stay. Her voice haunted you when you tried to sleep, her fucking crying.

You failed her twice, back in Jackson and in Seattle. She must hate you, and you don't blame her. You ruined whatever relationship you had.

You're almost glad you're far away from her, having traveled from Washington to California.

It was Abby's plan, go to Santa Barbara in search of the Fireflies. Something Owen wanted to do. And you went along with it, even if it was just a rumor and waste of time. It's not like you had a home to return to anyways. Abby explained what happened, the fight between the Seraphites and Wolves, what she did to protect Lev.

At first, it seemed irresponsible, sticking her neck out for a Scar. But the longer you spent with the Lev, you understood why. He wasn't like them. He was gentle, innocent, and just like Abby, you quickly adored him.

If it weren't for him, you don't know how your relationship would be with Abby, Lev almost acting as glue for you two.

The first few weeks with her were fucking insufferable. After the theater, you traveled back to the aquarium, burying the bodies with Abby in complete silence. You scrubbed his blood off the floor, the tile already stained crimson. You slept on the opposite side of the aquarium to Abby and Lev, or tried to, anyway. The urge to run off, back to her, was more present than ever. You overthought it, convincing yourself it was a stupid anger-based decision, and forced yourself to sleep.

In the morning, Abby was apologizing as soon as you woke up. How she didn't mean anything by it, she made a mistake, and how she loves you so fucking much. You didn't accept it, even if she was sincerely sorry. You were infuriated that she slept with him in the first place, and you needed time before you could even wrap your head around the idea of forgiving her.

When she first told you about Santa Barbara, you shot her down, telling her it was a stupid rumor. That resulted in you staying at the aquarium longer than she wanted, and in that time, you had almost wished for Ellie to return. She never did.

Constantly being in Abby's presence was torture. You were unable to look at her without thinking of her cheating on you or her violently beating Ellie's defenseless body. And that look in her eye as you knelt to Ellie. As if she was going to take her life right there at that moment.

These frequent reminders caused your anger to grow fast around her, avoiding any unnecessary conversations. That was unless Lev got you two to talk, which he seemed good at, starting the conversation for you and Abby then slowly exiting it.

Over time, being around her became tolerable, the uncomfortable tension became less noticeable, and your interactions got longer. Though you didn't forgive her, you missed talking to her, even if you hate to admit it. You're able to hold eye contact with her, admiring her hypnotic blue orbs each time. You've found yourself studying every last one of her features, eyes lingering a little too long on her fucking lips. Usually, that's when you'd abruptly walk away, excusing yourself and mentally scolding yourself.

Eventually, you said yes to Santa Barbara, you had nowhere else to go, and the aquarium never felt like home. It was eerie, uncomfortable. So you got on the boat, where you were always under Abby's gaze, unable to escape. Avoiding her was impossible, and you were overwhelmed with your mixed emotions about the woman. You couldn't exit fast enough when you finally reached California.

The summer sun would beat down on you as you walked throughout the day, and though it was beyond uncomfortable, you couldn't help but appreciate its effects on Abby. The glow on her sun-kissed face, how her freckles multiplied on her rosy cheeks. The way sweat glistened on her built arms, the sight making your mouth go dry. She was attractive without even trying.

She fucking betrayed you, and you're falling for her fast.

God, the feeling sucks. Because it would be a complete lie to say Ellie hasn't crossed your mind many, many times. Figuring out your relationship, what it was, was mental gymnastics.

You jeopardized Abby's life by not telling her about Ellie, because you wanted to keep Ellie safe. When Ellie kissed you, you reciprocated, and you were fucking disappointed when she pulled away. When she cried your name, both at Jackson and Seattle, you were the only one that could defend her, and you didn’t. You remember wanting to crawl out of your skin, ashamed of yourself.

And, when she needed you most, you abandoned her.

Even after all these months of trying to forget, attempting to block out the memory for your own sanity, you can't. Sometimes you even question if Ellie made it home safely or if her corpse is lying on some highway. Though you'd like to believe otherwise, you wouldn't know, and the thought terrifies you.

You don't understand what you two had, unable to label it. All you know is you care about Ellie, maybe more than yourself. Even if you didn't express it when you had the chance, you did. You never looked at her as the enemy, nor did you ever treat her like one, though she killed fellow Wolves and ultimately wanted to kill Abby. You just couldn't.

If you thought too hard about it, you know exactly why, but it doesn't matter. None of it matters now. Ellie is out of your life. She's not coming back, and you know if she did, it wouldn't be under good circumstances. Maybe it was for the best.

All you have is Abby, and that should be enough for you. You want it to be enough.

The heavy thoughts distract you from the creaking of the front door, back facing the woman as you sat on the porch steps, eyes glued to the sky. "Hey."

You gasp, hand clinging to your chest, "Fuck, Abby!"

She chuckles, taking a seat beside you, "Sorry."

You look at her, noticing that her long hair was free from its usual braid, the waves perfectly framing her face. You loved it, and you made sure you told her that whenever she wore it down. "Full moon?" Abby tries to make small talk, eyes dancing over the night sky. It was. Big and full, casting a bright glow over her face, and you're stuck admiring how beautiful she is.

Out of habit, you bite your lip, entranced by her features.

She glances back to you, another small chuckle as she notices the hold you had on her. Fuck. You tear your eyes off of her, thinking of something to say to distract her from your obvious staring.

"Is he um- is he asleep?" you question, playing with your fingers.

"Yeah," Abby replies, "told him I wanted to head out early...and he wanted to pass out before you got the chance to tuck him in."

She lets out a soft chuckle as you scoff, shaking your head. "It can get cold in the middle of the night," you mumble. As she put it, you're 'soft' for Lev, and she loved teasing you for it. "It's cute."

"Hm?" you hum, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "How you are with Lev. Never seen this side of you."

You feel the heat rush to your face, as it always did whenever she said anything remotely sweet about you. You never got used to it. There's a beat of silence before you speak up, "When I imagined us taking care of a kid, this isn't what I pictured."

Abby slightly grins, "You thought about that?"

"Of course," you shyly say, almost embarrassed to admit it. "At the stadium, passing the classroom every day, seeing all the kids...I thought maybe one day..." you trail off, shaking your head, "never mind."

The tiny smile on your face completely fades, and Abby notices. She feels guilty, like it's her fault you'll never live this life you had desired.

Everything seems to go quiet, the tension between you suddenly skyrocketing. "Will things ever be the same between us?" her voice cracks, her lips curving into that frown. Her question is heavy, not having a straightforward answer. "I-I don't know," you unintentionally whisper, which wasn't the answer she hoped for, though she expected. "You really hurt me, Abby."

It was frustrating how years of your relationship got blown up within just a few days. Your daily hugs, kisses, and sweet whispers in the middle of the night, stopped so suddenly. It would be a blatant lie to say you didn't miss all of that and more, and you were embarrassed that part of you wants it back. Maybe it’s because you never stopped loving her, unable to just throw away the feelings you had for her for years.

And now, she’s all you have, whether you liked it or not. It only made sense to try again. Or, that's what you want to believe.

"But," you speak once more before she gets the chance, "When--if, if we find the fireflies, and we get the chance to settle down...maybe we can try again?"

Abby takes in your words, a faint smiling growing on her face, "I'd like that."

"Me too."

-

"Here," you say, looking back at Lev and Abby, "no numbers, this has to be it, right?"

2425 Constance, the house you've been searching for for the past few weeks. With the information you received, this should be a Firefly outpost, and you're hoping the outside was dingy to avoid attraction, that it wasn't just a rumor.

"Nice catch," Abby smiles at you, her hand gently caressing your arm as she walks past. "Over here."

You and Lev follow the woman, noticing the garage door was cracked open, and she pulled it up with ease. You enter first, listening closely for infected or humans, nothing. You continue walking, the house seemly abandoned. "Well, no welcome party," you mumble, "fucking empty."

"Keep searching," Abby tells you, ignoring the sigh you let out as you look for supplies instead. You let Lev and Abby get the other rooms as you raid the kitchen for whatever was left, which was hardly anything.

The disappointment begins to set in, until Lev calls yours and Abby's names.

You adjust your backpack as you stand up, joining Abby and Lev in a different room. They surrounded a bookshelf, staring at the floor around it, the wood covered in scratches. Lev begins to push the piece of furniture, at least by a few inches, before Abby intervenes. "Scooch."

You help as she leans her body against it, the two of you moving it with ease, revealing a flight of stairs.

"Hello?" Abby calls out as you follow her into the basement, your flashlights dimly brightening the area. There was no response, but with the amount of furniture in the room, it appears people lived here before.

"Been a while since anyone's been here," Lev comments, as he continues to explore with Abby while you're behind picking up the few supplies lying around. The dark room suddenly lights up, Abby mentioning that they have solar. "Hey," Abby says, getting your attention. You walk over, noticing working radio equipment on the wood desk, and Abby is quick to try it out. "Is this frequency currently in use?" she speaks, "This is..."

"Do you see a call sign anywhere?"

You search the desk, moving around papers until you found something useful. "Here." You give her a clipboard that contained frequencies, hoping they would work, that the right people would be listening.

The first one failed, nothing but static. The second one is the same.

She tries once more, nothing but static and the sound of Lev's footsteps as he begins to walk away. "If anyone can hear me, please reply," her voice was desperate, and you feel bad. "Please answer."

"Abby..." You put your hand on her shoulder, sighing before you speak, "Let's go."

Before she gets a chance to speak, there's a voice coming from the radio. "Hi, Abby. We got a clear signal on you."

She quickly looks at you, a glimmer of hope in her widened eyes. Out of excitement, you grab her hand, not letting go as she talks to the unknown person. They were asking questions, a lot of them, and Abby was not hesitant with her answers. If this weren't a Firefly, you'd be fucked.

"We pulled everyone back from the satellite stations and brought them back here to home base."

Owen was right. It wasn't just a rumor. There are Fireflies, apparently two hundred according to the man over the radio. "How do we find you?" Abby questions.

"Get to Catalina Island. Approach the large domed building in Avalon. We'll find you."

Catalina Island. You couldn't be too far, maybe get there within days. You think about what you said to Abby, how you're willing to try again, though you meant it, the reality hits you hard. It scares you. You do love her, and that's why you wanted to fix the relationship, but something doesn't feel right.

You find yourself squeezing Abby's hand, the woman glancing over as she tells them goodbye. "Everything okay?"

"Perfect," you smile, mirroring her own. "Let's get back to the sailboat."

You both glance at Lev, who was watching you like a puzzle he was trying to figure out, and you know exactly why. Your hand is still locked with Abby's, shyly pulling it away. She's unsure how to react, almost wishing you didn't let go. Before she can overthink the interaction, she's walking ahead of you and Lev, eager to be back in the boat.

All she wants is to safely make it to Catalina Island, and start over with you.

You find yourself back in the garage, exiting the same way you entered, not expecting what was waiting on the other side. It happened so fast. In just the blink of an eye, two strangers were assaulting Abby.

"Abby!" You pounce on the man hitting her, taking both of you to the ground. He climbs on top of you, pinning your wrists to the dirt beneath you. You're violently thrashing, but his hold is too strong. It suddenly weakens, noticing an arrow through his shoulder, knocking him back. You look over, Lev preparing his bow again, before another man hits the young boy, his fragile body falling to the ground.

"Lev!" You and Abby are quickly reacting, trying to get to him, but you can't. A sudden blow to your head knocks you down. It was intense, as though you slammed your head into a brick wall, the pain worsening as your vision seems to blur.

The last thing you saw was Lev's unconscious body, mind slipping while Abby's screams echoed in your ears.

Part Five

made these studying cat genetics over the past 2 weeks!

i felt like there weren't enough visual guides of cat genetics so i went ahead and made some simple ones, my main references were Sparrow's Garden the website, Sparrow's Garden the blog, Messybeast, and The Little Carnivore.

Together - CHO HYUN-JU x Fem Reader Part 3

Summary: Reader is scammed and abandoned by her boyfriend, leaving her alone in South Korea to her fate, so in desperate search of a solution to return to her home country she decides to join the squid games to get money, within the game she meets a couple of people who become her friends and could possibly be something more.

Warning: Violence, homophobia mention of attempted rape and sexist language

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◻○△ Hyun-Ju POV △○◻

The lights had barely gone out when Y/N had fallen asleep using one of her arms as a pillow and even though I was lying on my side, the space she used was still tiny, I could cover her with my arms and make her disappear without any problem.

The strands of her hair fell carefully and perfectly arranged around her head, some on her face where her long eyelashes adorned her cheeks, it was so strange to see and even more difficult to understand.

Previously, before I began with my identity recognition, my appearance attracted too many girls, many of them interested in my position and the economic benefits that this could bring to their lives, but I never felt attracted to them, they were all the same and empty.

But then why did I feel like this now? She could be my little sister, the fragile and sweet girl that I could take care of but my heart didn't feel that way, my stomach turned when she took my hand with fear, taking care that the bond didn't break so she wouldn't get lost from my side, my heart beat a thousand times faster when her eyes narrowed every time she smiled, my head spun every time she told me those words of encouragement making me see that I never made a mistake and that being who I am is no problem, she was the reason now for wanting to get out of this game and it didn't matter if I won the money or not, she was the best thing I had ever won.

Aren't you sleepy?…- she whispered making me jump slightly but I remained silent looking at her - don't pretend you're asleep… I can feel your gaze I'm sorry, I'm not sleepy yet..- I smiled at nothing feeling embarrassed for being discovered You should rest, tomorrow we will need strength to continue playing - her eyes barely opened illuminated with the warm light of the piggy bank - what are you thinking so much about? Thinking? What do you mean? - I looked at her curiously trying to pretend that everything was fine If you can't sleep, it's because your head is busy, what's wrong? - Damn, how did she know me so well? Just 3 days were enough for her to read me like the palm of her hand I was thinking… that… that this would be the last game we could play and then we would vote to withdraw from the competition - I smiled barely arranging a lock of her hair that covered her eyes I see, I was thinking the same thing, I don't want to be here anymore, when I get out I'll look for a job, no matter how bad the pay is, I just want to get out and go home - she sighed tiredly

If you don't mind telling me, now I would like to know why you decided to come to these games, what's your story?

Well… -she sighed deeply biting the inside of her lip a little and with another sigh she looked at me again- a year ago I met a guy online, he fell in love with me and he promised me that we would have a long and happy relationship, we went out for a couple of months just through messages and calls and one day he proposed to come to Korea to meet him and if everything went well I would stay with him to live and we would start a family, so… I quit my job and bought a ticket to come here… I met him and everything was going well but a couple of months later he… took all my money and disappeared, he barely paid the last month's rent and luckily they didn't throw me out but… -her gaze lowered sadly feeling ashamed- it was a stupid thing, I should never have trusted someone I didn't know

Men are disgusting… well.. you.. you understand - she laughed a little wiping her wet eyes - then you need the money for?..

To go back home, buy a plane ticket and go back to my country, I'm not welcome here and people have let me know in many possible ways, I just want to go with my family and start over what I left behind

Oh… - my heart felt like it was breaking into a thousand pieces, a part of me thought that by leaving this game she and I could get to know each other a little more, but she just wanted to run away from here, like I wanted and never hear from anyone else again - then… you'll leave

Yes I think so, but don't worry, once we get out we'll continue being friends and when I have a job I'll pay for all the necessary trips to visit you in Thailand - her eyes narrowed with the smile that formed on her lips, it was so comforting but at the same time so painful to hear that.

I didn't understand why it hurt, I had never felt that feeling of pain and abandonment in that sense, the sense of being in love with her.

Is something wrong? - Her small hand slowly touched my cheek making me focus my attention back on her just shaking my head smiling a little

Everything is fine, it's just that… I will miss my best friend as long as she doesn't come to visit me… - I lied and lied again when I told her I was sleepy and we had to sleep, I spent the night awake, watching her sleep once sleep overcame her again

The next morning, at the sound of the loudspeaker, everyone got up, as if so many hours had passed without even feeling the passage of time.

She barely woke up and jumped out of bed as if she had regained all the energy she had lost in the previous days, put on her shoes and almost ran down to greet Jun-Hee and ask her if she had slept well and if her baby had moved during the night. Y/N had barely found out that 222 was pregnant she kept asking her questions, excitedly showing that she couldn't wait for her turn.

Her authentic happiness made me feel much worse, it made me feel selfish, I wanted her for myself but I couldn't give her anything she wanted, I wouldn't give her the happy life, nor the family she dreamed of, it was a martyrdom and I only thought that I had made the worst decision to be the way I am now.

That is your punishment - the shaman laughed leaning on the bedposts - for following the wrong path that the gods wrote for you, now you will suffer, you love her but you will not have her

I don't know what you are talking about ma'am - I looked at her closing my sweater and arranging my hair with my fingers

Oh no? We are not stupid, we all know what you think when you look at her, how much you want to kiss her and show her that you love her but you don't, because you know that she doesn't like people like you, she only talks to you out of pity and she will never like you - the woman laughed, knowing that she had broken the last thing that was left in a piece inside me, she knew my secret and could use it against me to make me weak at any moment

Shut your mouth you damn bitch, you only know how to say shit, why don't you pray to the gods to give you a new brain uh? Get out of here - Geum-Ja confronted her pushing her away with her hands making the shaman go away laughing while I sat on the steps with my insides destroyed - girl, don't listen to her, that woman attacks where she knows she will truly destroy, don't give her that pleasure

She's right… - I looked at her sadly while she sat next to me brushing my hair with her fingers

Is she right? About we all know you have feelings for that girl? Of course she's right, but she'll never be right in stating what she feels or doesn't feel for you and we won't know until she tells you, maybe she sees you as an older sister or maybe as her best friend… -she smiled at me taking my hand- or maybe, deep inside, where no one knows her secrets, she feels for you the same as you do for her and it doesn't matter if you think you're not enough for her, when you're the right person for someone, all dreams come true

Do you believe in that? - I looked at her again feeling my lungs fill with air once again with her loving motherly smile

Of course, it doesn't matter what you were before or what you are now or if you are both girls, if love is sincere then love can do everything and I know you will fight to save yourself but especially her and I promise you that once we leave you two will go to my house and we will eat the best kimchi you have ever tasted, do you understand? - She laughed patting my back making me smile

''Players, it's time for a new game, please line up and leave in order following the masked soldiers''

Hyun-Ju, let's go - Y/N called me making me look at her quickly while she smiled

Go with her, I'll go with my son - Geum-Ja patted me again standing up as we both went down

Don't leave my side okay? - I looked at her as she nodded smiling and stood in front of me in the line of players

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The instructions had been clear and one thing was clear to me, I should not separate myself from Y/N at any time, she would be my priority in this game and no matter how many players there were, she would be the one who would always be by my side.

The platform spun to that traumatizing childhood song, everyone silently looking at each other

''10'' - The speaker spoke making us freeze

There are 4 of us, we need 6 more - Yong-Sik shouted desperately pulling his hair

Y/N! Here, there are 5 of us - Dae-Ho shouted pulling Y/N's arm making her look at him

There are 4 of us - I pulled her other arm bringing her back to me looking at him annoyed - Run to a room I'll look for one more

No Hyun-Ju I won't leave, let's go together - Y/N looked at me scared shaking her head

Don't worry, run! - I took her hand giving it to Dae-Ho making him pull her while I screamed looking for person 10 taking whoever the first person I saw was pulling her into the room

''10..9..8..7.''.- the speaker spoke making me nervous when I was able to enter the room and close the door almost fainting without oxygen in my lungs and the countdown reached zero we all looked at each other, the shots could be heard leaving us stunned as we caught our breath

Everyone is alive thanks to me! - the shaman shouted looking at us one by one - ah… I see why I'm here, to save your little friend's life - she laughed pointing at me

Don't start you damn crazy - Geum-Ja looked at her annoyed

As soon as the lock was removed and the door opened, everything was a bloodbath, we all walked in fear looking around confused when I felt a warm hand take mine.

You said we wouldn't separate… don't do that again - Y/N looked at me with her wet eyes

I'm sorry..- I smiled barely squeezing her hand walking slowly together so as not to slip with the blood on the floor

Again the song began to play and the platform turned again, this time with fewer players on it

''4'' - the speaker rang as soon as the song stopped making us look at each other

Run! Run now - I squeezed her hand pulling her as Geum-Ja and Yong-Sik followed us into the room and I closed the door leaning my back against it so no one could open it

This is so tiring… it's torture - Yong-Sik sat on the floor with his head in his hands desperate

Are you okay? - I looked at Y/N who was breathing heavily looking at the floor

Yes.. - she barely answered catching her breath

Again the lock opened letting us out, there was more blood and fewer people, the floor was sticky making our steps difficult until we reached the platform, once again the game began, the lights came on and the song played loudly

''3'' - the speaker announced making us look at each other again

What do we do? - Y/N looked at me scared

Come with me, we're doing in pairs and we'll look for someone - I grabbed her hand tightly, running screaming looking for someone, being pushed by Yong-Sik into the room

What are you doing here? Where's your mother? - I looked at him scared as he caught his breath

What?…what are you talking about? - he looked at me adjusting his misplaced glasses

The teams are 3 Yong-Sik, where did you leave your mother? - Y/N looked at him screaming upset

What? I understood 4, damn it - Yong-Sik tried to leave stumbling and throwing his glasses on the floor

This time Y/N let go of my hand and left quickly, grabbing Geum-Ja by the clothes skillfully by the back pulling her into the room with such force making her almost fall when she hit the wall and then she takes the door and closing it, now she was outside

No…Y/N NO, COME IN! - she looked at me through the gap in the door, her bright eyes looked at mine for the last time and then she ran - no, please no - the sound of the lock on the door rang and no matter how hard I pulled on it, it was impossible to open it

'' 10..9..8..7 ''

NO, NOT LIKE THIS, NOT HER - I looked at Geum-Ja pulling on my hair, my knees became weak making me fall on the floor as my tears fell

''6…5…4…3''

PLEASE DON'T KILL HER, DON'T SEPARATE HER FROM ME!..

''2…1…''

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Can you guess what would happen in the next episode? Can you guess who have a crush with Y/N? Let me read you! :3

Thanks for reading, I'll be back soon!

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