You're A Victim To Your Own Desires

I go crazy every time I read something she did. Did she invent a new kind of air? It makes me suffer so much while I burn with a flame that is hotter than hell. It is so cold, as if everything turns into porcelain ice to let my heart break harder. The author's hands are so satisfying with what she gives that it is time to make a paid entrance, like in a movie theater. The reincarnation of God came in the guise of Bill to torment my soul, but who will resist this? I'll just let him leave me like this, because I agree to any kind of attention. So why not give this attention in order to admire day after day that stamp that proves to me its heartlessness and the desire to be grateful even to pain? Is it possible that in order to maintain the shape of an angelic body, Bill, like a god, eats other people's hearts? I'm going to change my religion and become the most obedient to my divine master. Can't tell if he's going to make me die or just ease my pain..

PLSSS CAN YOU DO A BILL FICTION INSPIRED BY ONE OF THEIR MUSIC VIDEOS?? YOU CAN CHOOSE WHICH ONEEE

IT WOULD BE SO COOL<3

★ Fem!reader x Bill Kaulitz 2016

★ Tags: Angst, fluff.

| Summary: Bill and his girlfriend have been going through different rough difficulties in their relationship for a long time now, they both know it's useless to keep being together. None of them tried to do anything about it till he decided to put an end to it.

— 1st Chapter: Love don't break me.

"I need to get home, but I keep on holding on."

• Bill narrates;

I can't believe I'm here again. I want to hold her and tell her that we'll be okay, but I don't know how cause even I don't know the answer to that.

I look around the dark room, the blinds shut, I predict it's around 2 in the morning. My arms are around myself, unable to move after another successful fight; this time seeming worse than ever, after reproaching each other about every stupid little thing there is in the book.. even though this time they weren't just a few misunderstandings—It was much more than that.

I furrow my left eyebrow, once I hear the faint sound of her sobs in the background, hitting my eardrums. I hate seeing her cry, she knows that well, as much as I also know how I shouldn't cave in. But she's already scooting closer to me, wrapping her arms around my body loosely, tightening even more the second I tried to move.

My head fell to the front, a few of a blonde-platinum strands of hair pushed to my face. I sigh as she tries to comfort herself while in touch with my skin, 'Please, don't.' She mutters as she feels how I'm starting to stretch out my limbs to stand up this time, a thing I can't get through with because my body simply won't respond.

But I'm angry, so why are my arms moving around her, why are my eyes filled with tears when I keep hearing her say over and over how sorry she is? Maybe I don't really want to go.

Why can't my heart and my head work at once?

I open my mouth to speak, her face is buried on the back of my neck, and so are my fingers in her hair when I reached out to finally touch her. 'Why do we do this?' Is everything I manage to say—I can't understand how we've gotten to this point; The fighting, the aggressive make-up and when you think you're done, more fighting again.

I want to tell her that I won't be here forever, laying on her bed—completely wrecked and thinking about all the times we've been okay together instead of living the moment. And I've got a feeling that she doesn't want to be stuck in this back and forth for much longer.

But how will we move forward? we still love each other, there's no doubt, and even if we've been told that our love is gross, we'd always managed to prove them wrong.. this time we'll make it again, right?

She looks at me, untangling herself from the grip she's had on me before—I've got a feeling that she knows what I'm thinking about by the way she's shaking her head at me. 'Don't say you're gonna give up on me.' The look on her face said it all; regret, even fear, dispair... everything at once—like she expected the worst.

But I didn't say anything, I didn't dare. I couldn't get my mind to work, everything oh so overwhelming. Till her voice pushed me off my trance. 'Say something!' It was only natural she would react like that after getting no reaction out of me, so that's when I finally managed to push myself on my feet, looking around for the shirt I discarded earlier god knows where before this argument started, to slid it back on.

'I'm tired of fighting.' I said, bitter tears still stinging the corner of my eyes as I put on the rest of my clothes, pacing around the room to pick everything up, anything that I must be forgetting to grab while I make the feint of leaving.

I sniffle from my nose, and from one moment to another she's standing up from the bed, looking completely hysterical, not even bothering to put her shirt on as she tried to get ahold of me, eyes closing tight.

'You can't leave like this..' She said again, trying to change my mind, but this time I can feel myself getting a little bit of impulse, ready to leave it all behind. The black eyeshadow that I know is staining my under eyes, I wipe it off with my knuckles.. now I'm the one who's shaking his head. I can't listen to her this time, If I keep doing so I know I'll never leave. I know I'll never run free from this golden cage that we named love.

'I'm sorry, It's over.' And I didn't even stutter this time, It felt like I've been holding those words inside me forever, like I've been meaning to say it for a long time now. A big relief rushing through my veins, as if I could breath properly again.

But she didn't look relieved, she didn't look like it had been taken a big weight off her shoulders like I thought it would. She was silent, still.. It was even frightening. I wanted to turn to her and say something else, my hands even itching to touch her one last time, but I knew it would just make it worse than it was already.

So I went away, with broken wings.—I picked up my dignity, all my pride and I walked out.

But was I doing what was the best for us? wasn't I making it worse? what if I just regret all of this in the future?

I guess I'll never know.

Inspired by the 'Love don't break me' MV. For a better experience, listen to the song while you're reading.

[ I made this, all fanfics posted here are original ideas by me. ]

I WANT TO EAT BILL VERY BADLY.

Tw: Slight mention of cannibalism.

I look at him and I revere,

I believe he's a God upon me when he buries his teeth in my skin;

'Can you feel my love?'

I barely hear him howl as he devours what's left of me.

He finds solace in my agony, and I find peace perpertually resting inside of him.

Take me, take my soul in your heart, for what I've got in the other life—I offer to you now.

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO CUTE!! I'M CRYING!! YOU CAN'T SHOW ME THIS!! YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT!! I'M DYING WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?? YOU'RE MAKING ME BLUSH!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MWAHH

—Appreciation Post for my dear Muffin,

To who I never want to stop talking to, and with who I want to reincarnate in my next life as two silly cats, doing whatever we want, whenever we want.

𓊆ྀི @kaulitzily. ⊹ ⁺

OH MY GOD, IT'S A PICTURE OF BILL.. MY HEART STOPS BEATING PROPERLY. I REALLY NEED HIM SO BAD!!!

I'm not special till it comes to you;

You spin around inside my head, your fingers closed tight around my heart, reminding and intoxicating me of your need for love.

Want me to the marrow—pull me close, bite down on my weak knees so I can't go anywhere.

God, how can I forget?

When all I can think about is how your devotion compels me.

— Puppy-faced boy ೀ‎

Bill Kaulitz with Lana del Rey songs, perfection.

SHE'S BACK

Lol I know this is random again..🌚 I just have a few words to let out (im also feeling really nostalgic right now and it hurts!!)

I am “pa1n-0f-l0ve” yes, it’s me, AGAIN. I highly doubt this community is even active anymore and if it is I know it’s not the same. I know you guys are probably sick of me coming and leaving but I just wanted to apologize.

I want to apologize to anyone I ever made uncomfortable or feel upset. I know I said and did things under the persona of “pain of love” that could’ve made people feel a certain way and feel disgusted and I’m sorry. I used this community as an outlet for my hypersexuality at the time because it was getting hard for me to deal with as it was only getting worse. Yes, I still love writing and from time to time I catch myself writing privately and making ideas for stories to write. I would love to write again publicly but I don’t know if that is for me anymore since I’ve changed my style in writing from smut to more narrative and consistent plots. (Yes I still write abt tokio hotel duhhh)

Feel free to get in touch with me about anything if you’d like! No drama tho!! I’d rather not put up with that again haha

He would look much better sitting on my bed

꧁ Love when he s͟i͟t͟s on stage ♥️

your posts are extremely long , and don't make much sense . you babble a lot and go off the topic of the request .

Okay..? The request only stated that the fic should be with Tom, which means that the rest was up to my choice, which I actually did, deciding how long the post would be and what it would be about. Well, thank you for your opinion..?

What's wrong with Tumblr trying to censor me.. is this happening to anyone else?!