Straight From The Heart (Lando Norris)
Straight from the heart (Lando Norris)
You know I'll never go - as long as I know it's comin' straight from the heart
Note: english is not my first language. I was fighting the other piece I was writing so I jumped to this one and I did something a little bit different (* cough cough * longer) and see how it goes! I'm not sure how good this is (or how much you will want to kill me), but I promise this has a happy ending!!
Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!
my masterlist
Tw: relationship struggles, curse words
Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3
The result on the screen was not the one you hoped. Lando had a wonderful race, but a mixture of bad strategy calls, dark rain clouds appearing on the sky with only a couple of laps left to finish the race and the wrong tire compound made him lose a good number of places, cars overtaking him in the last seven laps.
"Is the race over?", you mother asked as she stepped inside the living room, carrying the curtains she had left out to dry and proceeding to hang them back in their place.
"Yes, just now", your father said as he adjusted the volume on the TV, "let me help you, darling", he offered, getting up and standing beside your mum in case she got out of balance.
"Are you going to call Lando?", your mother asked once her squinty eyes read the position he had finished in. Even though the prescription glasses were on the table, she insisted she didn't want any mishaps after she accidentally dropped her last pair while she was gardening and one of your younger cousins found a rusty frame a couple of months later when he was over.
"I'm not, I don't think - he's flying back tonight and the timezone is so different, I don't want to bother him", you blurted defensively, making up excuses as you went along with your answer, "he's doing the interviews, and I'm sure the debrief will be long and torturous - he will need his rest to fly back", you stated as you got up, "I have to check on the project I handed in on Friday, the professor said he would post the grades around this time and if we want to appel, we have to do it right away - I'll be in my bedroom".
The subject was an open wound that stung everytime you so much heard a mention of it, let one having to seem completely okay with it when it ripped through your heart.
The calendar on your wall is full of stickers, both with notes, urgent matters and things you couldn't forget. It's the last stretch, you tell yourself, one more week and then it's done and you'll have a well deserved break.
A knock on your door catches your attention as you reply with the allowance to let whoever is on the other side in, "is something wrong?", you asked. Lately, the negative side of your mind was the first one to speak.
"That's what I want to ask you - that conversation we just had downstairs was not your usual self", she sighed as she pointed to the living room, "I've noticed you haven't mentioned him much, but I don't want to intrude or offer my help because I know you don't like meddling", your mother looked for your eyes before you could fully focus on the wooden floor.
"Things have been rough between us lately", you sighed, "Lando is keeping me at a distance, and I don't know the reason why, mum", you shrugged, "I don't know if it's because I've known him all my life and the comparison is so profound, but it seems he only cares about racing and his friends, and I'm nowhere in the mix. We rarely call eachother, no texting - I know the triple headers are intense, but all I got from him were reactions to my stories and a little video from Max where he's in it and said something to me", you recalled, "I can't be the only one making an effort, can I? Either he realised where this is going and we catch it while we can, or I don't know where this is going, I don't know where we're going".
Your mother's heart broke as she saw you allow the tears you had held on to fall freely, your sleeves bunched up on your hands to wipe them, "and did you talk about this? A long, grown up and serious conversation?", she mused.
"We have barely been with eachother, mum!", you whispered shakily as more tears got caught on your throat.
"Couples go through phases, darling - do you think me and your father was all smooth sailing?", she tried to get you to smile as she brushed your hair while she hugged you, "you need to talk to eachother, seriously and let it all out, nothing is off limits because that's how you'll get to where you need to".
You kept your head on your mother's chest, accepting her comforting hold despite being an adult. A mother's hold was truly the best.
You hoped she was right and this was something that would pass. A rough patch that you and Lando would work through a look back on with a sense of accomplishment.
This wasn't how you and Lando end, is it?
.
Max and Lando headed for the plane as soon as they left the race track, having made prior arrangements to had their luggage there waiting for them once they arrived. Max was the first to sit down and get himself comfortable on the seat, texting his girlfriend to let her know they were leaving.
"Y/N hasn't called or even texted me, nothing", Lando mumbled, "didn't she watch the race? Doesn't she know that I need her?".
Max weighed in the good and the bad that his next few words could do. He could either be honest and encourage his best friend to finally come to his senses, or keep covering the lie and perpetuate the suffering and miscommunications.
"This is not how I wanted to do this - truth be told, I never wanted to have to do it", Max rambled off.
Lando was quick to notice that there was more to it than just this instance, "you know something - she's my girlfriend, Max, if something is happening, I deserve to know", he said in an antsy tone.
"Are you really so blind to it? Have you not noticed it yet? Damn it, Lando, I've been on your side, trying to clean it up and now I'm questioning it", Max declared as Lando only grew more confused.
"What am I missing Max?", Lando snapped, even catching his own self off guard at the reaction he had.
"Mate, think about the last couple of months and whether or not you have been a good boyfriend, or even the boyfriend Y/N deserves", Max offered.
Lando wasn't expecting that answer or point of view.
The last couple of months roll through his memory as if he's watching a movie and when he tries to select the moments he spent with you, he finds himself struggling to gather any at all. He can't remember any of the times you spent together, and considering his memory isn't that bad, it could only mean those moments didn't even happen. Thinking about it, he can remember the last time he held you in his arms, just the two of you.
"Fuck!", Lando shouted, punching the arm rest.
"Glad you figured than one out almost all on your own", Max tsked, "do you really think you deserve any interaction from Y/N? Thought so", Max muttered. He didn't like the situation his friends found themselves in, and he certainly didn't feel any joy in the words he told Lando, but the truth wasn't always easy to hear.
"Seems Y/N doesn't think so either", Lando mumbled, "do you know anything? Has she told you anything?".
He wasn't sure he deserved to know, but he needed to.
"The last time I spoke to her she didn't say anything - you know how Y/N doesn't want to bother anyone with her things and getting information from her is harder than solving the world's problems -, but P and her talk here and there", Max reasoned, "she obviously won't tell me all the details but from what I can tell, Y/N has really taken a toll because of this, P is always quite upset whenever it comes up", Max offered. Quite upset wouldn't cover it, so much so that, unbeknownst to Lando, the last couple of time Max's girlfriend couldn't join them for their plans was an orchestrated excuse from her to avoid being in the same room as the McLaren driver.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!", Lando groaned into his hands, "how could I not realise this was happening?".
"You want the honest, blunt truth?", Max asked and Lando nodded, "I know it's your job, but lately, it's all been about racing, and I think you've neglected Y/N ", Max offered.
McLaren had a one hundred and eighty degree turn lately. From struggling to get their cars in the points, the team had managed to turn things around to the point where P5 and P8 was considered a bad weekend for them.
With the new signings, Quadrant had grown exponentially and it had naturally drawn him to spend more time on it, and it seemed to have alienated everyone in his life that wasn't directly a part of those.
It wasn't intentional, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt. And by the looks of it, the person Lando loved and cared about most was also the one he hurt the most.
They both sat in silence as the British drive thought about all of it. Things got so good that he didn't look back, he worked his hardest and gave every piece of himself to the cause and the new territory he was paving. Being on the podium was a common feature for him, and the race win was there, up for grabs and he wanted it. Yet, he had been dazzled by it and had let himself fly higher, his characteristic "both head and feet on the ground" posture no longer present and resulting in a degree of neglection for the things and people thay mattered to him.have always been important to me.
"How did I push away the most important person in my life and I'm just now realizing this?", Lando asked, not really expecting an answer, but rather to let out all the frustration that boiled inside him, anger soon following at his late realisation, "what's worse is that I've only come to realise this because you had to tell me - stupid, stupid, stupid".
"I don't know what you want me to tell you, mate, and frankly there isn't much I can, but look on the bright side: now you have a chance to fix it", Max tries to comfort Lando.
"What if it's too late? What if Y/N doesn't want to be with me anymore?", Lando voicesd his deepest fear. What if the anger had finally got to you and you wanted to call it quits?
"Wouldn't you be able to understand that? I don't think that is the case - I've never seen two people who love eachtoher more than you two, it's as disgusting as it it lovely most times. And even though she might feel angry or hurt, I believe she has it in her to forgive you", Max states.
"I hope you're right", Lando sighed as he tapped his phone, his finger hovering over your contact.
"I wouldn't do that", Max chirped, "you should rest before diving into anything about that topic, and today has had too many emotions as it is. Tomorrow is a new day for you to think about it", he advised.
With his head on the headrest, Lando went over everything that occupied his mind, allowing the heavy sinking feeling to settle in. To a degree, he deserved the discomfort he felt. Shame, guilt, frustration, remorse, embarrassment, overwhelm, sadness.
What if he had destroyed the thing that made him the happiest? If I managed to single out the person who loved him for him?
.
Lan 🧡
Hello. You were probably expecting a text or a call, but the last few days haven't been easy and I needed to ground myself a little. We really need to talk, Y/N. Do you think we can grab lunch today?
It irritated you how quick your heart was beating the minute you saw who sent you the text after you submitted all the projects that you had left. Battling an inner fight of whether or not you should answer it, you decided to so it. Rip the band-aid off, Y/N.
To Lan 🧡
Hello... We do urgently need to talk. I'm on my own today - where do you want to go?
Your tone was cold and unusual when you compared it to the older messages, filled with hearts and the pet names you had for eachother.
We can go to that café by the marina, the one with the paninis you really like.
Yes, we'll meet here at one pm.
Do you want me to pick you up?
No, I'll walk.
Your sunglasses are good enough to hide the nervous gloom on them as you walked to the marina. There is no script or guideline to go about this lunch other than honesty and finally admitting everything you were feeling. It could go either way and, truth be told, you believed it would go down the way it was supposed to.
Stepping on the wooden path to the small café's outside area, you looked for the boy whose arms were where you used to feel safe.
Lando chose a table that overlooked the water, the warm sun shinning and bringing out the blue of it. It would be a big conversation, and while the café wasn't crowded, he never knew how things could pan out so he went for the most demure spot.
When you take a proper look at him, it surprises you. His eyes are not shiny like they usually are - there's a dark hue surrounding them along with sadness.
"Hey", you utter out to grab his attention.
The moment he faces you, you feel naked despite the summery dress you have on. All vulnerabilities exposed for the person who knows you best and who can read you like the back of his hand.
"Hello, hi", Lando cleared his throat, "how have you been?".
Setting your bag on the chair, you shrugged, not ready to engage in casual chit chat.
"Do you already know what you are having?", he wondered.
"The italian panini and iced tea", you mumbled after looking at the menu he handed you, "have you ordered yet?", you mused before calling the waiter to do so.
The silence between you after the waiter left the table was painful and hard to digest. You avoided looking at his colourful eyes - once you did it, breaking down would be in an instant.
"We really need to talk, Y/N", Lando says.
"Do you want to go first? Or shall I?", you asked bitterly, accepting his silence.
The waiter comes back with your orders. The café doesn't have a big menu and it's mostly empty, so the service was quick, "I hope you enjoy it - Bon appétit!", he interrupted the tension filled moment.
"I recognise I need to apologize to you for all the things I did without realizing it an-", Lando was cut off by you.
"Let me stop you there before this derails", you stated, "I'm here to have a serious, grown up conversation, so I'm not going to sit here and listen to dusty and beaten up childish excuses".
If the ground could sink him into it, Lando would've accepted it gladly.
"It's a start that you have realised that something was wrong, but you can't excuse yourself like that, Lando. Not when this situation has taken proportions that you can't fanthom - you can't get away with being sorry for not noticing what you were causing", you argued.
Lando gave you a nod, "I'm still not sure about all the things that led us to this point and what it entails, and that's why I wanted you here. I don't want to be blind to it anymore - I want to get all of it so all the pieces make sense in my head. You probably won't believe it, Y/N, but I'm so lost in this. I feel like I've lived a parallel universe for the past couple of months", Lando added all in one go.
"When did your feet come back to the ground?", you mused, "when did you feel like maybe things weren't the way they should be?". The curiosity was killing you, and the answer could very well do the last stab.
"When I lost all of those places in the race", Lando gulped, "I expected you to call and to hear your comforting words, and they never came. Max was the one to bring my mind to the matter", he admitted and you could see he was the opposite of proud of his own actions, "How I've been the worst boyfriend in the world and how I deserved that you didn't call - hell, I'm not even sure if I deserve that you're here today and willing to listen to what I have to say".
It's difficult to maintain a tough appearance and pretend that his words don't affect you, but alas, you keep your armour on.
"That afternoon was a struggle for me, Lando. I wanted nothing more than to call you and hear your voice, silence your cornerns and negative thoughts, let you know that you're the best driver out there and that a bad race doesn't define you. That it wasn't your fault and that you shouldn't beat yourself up because of it, that I was still so proud of you and how you handled things and that nothing could keep me from shouting to the rooftops. But you didn't deserve it, my dignity has been punched by your actions day in day out for the past couple of months and I couldn't take it anymore".
"I need you to hear things from your side, I need to know your perspective so I can understand what I did wrong and if I'm able to fix it still", Lando asks desperately.
"We should start from the beggining then", you laced your hands on top of the table after taking a bite of your panini, "I think it was at the end of the last season - at the time it didn't seem like it, but looking at it now, it was the start. I even took some time off and travelled with you so we could enjoy your break, then I came back for university. It's never easy, I know, but up until then we never had any issues with it - even if it was a bloody run, we made time for eachother. Then, you barely texted, let alone call - but all relationships hit rough patches and I thought that it was ours. Then Christmas came around and we finally felt like us again, there were no work or uni commitments, and it was bliss. After that, life happened again and I couldn't find a way to spend time with you - there was always a Quadrant video to film or a meeting or some event. You, Max and Martin went to Bali, and despite the fact that I didn't have any exams and could easily do university stuff remotely - like I do everytime - you didn't even think to ask me if I wanted to go or if I had planned something for us in the first place. I just took it for granted that you would spend it with me, but when P showed me the photos I looked like a fool and an ungrateful friend and girlfriend because I stayed back, Lando. I never felt so humiliated. Max had his girlfriend and you didn't, you ignored me as if I didn't matter to you", you breathed out. Ruminating was one thing, talking about it out loud was another. The latter angered you less and hurt more.
"I'm sorry", Lando murmured and you were quick to shoot it down.
"I don't need you to apologize now, Lando. What I needed was for you to make a decision then, one that considered me and what I wanted", you sighed, wiping a stubborn tear that got out, "after that, I just watched you pull further and further away, and I tried to get closer, work things out, but you wouldn't let me in. You floated and floated and I stayed here, both feet glued to the ground as I watched you go higher and higher. You were never like this, letting things get to your head wasn't something you ever did, but it happened. You alienated me in such a way that for this triple header, I didn't hear your voice once unless it was from the TV or the McLaren social media. You only wanted to call when you needed comfort, and it hurts that it took Max to help you see things the way they are", you state as tears fell uncontrollably down your cheeks.
Apart from your earlier bite, both wooden serving boards look full and no one made a move to go further.
"You told me time and time again that you would always be there for me, but when I was the one needing a cuddle and reassuring words, I was all alone in my bedroom, crying because of you. When you said you'd be there for me, I guess you failed to account for the fact that you can't protect me from yourself.. Because what hurt me these past couple of months was you", you declared, sniffling and, finally, looking into Lando's swollen and tear-filled eyes.
The tears Lando has been holding back fell. He was angry with himself, at how he had done the one thing he promise not to do to you. He made you hurt, he was the reason you were in pain and he couldn't keep you from feeling it.
"I wish I could tell you there was a reason behind it and that it all has some justification, but there isn't and I can't lie to you. I was propelled from the results and the promise that this could be our year - my year - and everything else faded away. I know it's not any help, but I'm not proud of what I did, and definitely not proud of the way I made you hurt - I wish I could turn back time and do it differently", Lando confessed.
"I needed you, Lando", she bit back.
Lando couldn't find any words after that and once you began eating the now cold panini, he followed your movements, granting you the quietest meal you ever shared with him. Lando was playful, loud, cheery and giggly on any other day. As much as it nagged you that your words were the ones to dim that light, you had to put yourself first. Someone had to.
"Can we walk along the marina?", Lando asked once you finished eating, earning your nod to his surprise.
You both get up, Lando paying for your meal at the front before you left the establishment. You walked along, looking at the luxurious boats and yachts before you found a part of the wall that you was comfortable enough to sit on, remaining in silence as you watched a couple of people unlock their yachts and sailing away.
Lando wanted to say something, to prove to you that he was sorry and that he still loves you more than anything, but the fear of saying the wrong thing and hurting you even deeper was not something he wanted to risk.
"You're going to break up with me, aren't you?", Lando voiced the biggest worry on his mind since he left his apartment.
"I walked here, so I had time to think about all of this, and all I could think was that I was going to meet you there, be reminded of all the pain you made me feel, and then we wouldn't see a solution to this. And on my way here, it got harder because I passed by the shop where we always go for croissants, and then that park where I tripped and you carried me home because of my bruised knee even though I could walk just fine, the bench where that lady asked if Mila was our daughter when your brother visited. And when I arrived at the café and saw you, I knew there was no way I could do it", you half smiled.
"I struggled to see what was happening, and I didn't see what was clearly in front of me, and I know I can't undo all of the crap that I've made", Lando pointed out, "but I can say that I love you, Y/N. I love you even more than when I asked you to be my girlfriend, which I never thought was possible, but everyday I love you a little bit more. I know I won't be able to love anyone the way I love you and, honestly, I'm not sure who I am without you, because I've turned into a person I don't recognise anymore and I'm afraid that if I don't have you around, this is the real me, and I don't like it. You make me a better person - since day one! I'll love you forever, but I also understand that you don't need this pressure in your life and that you want us to be over. I deserve that", Lando mumbled.
As much as the idea of not being with you hurt him, he knew it didn't equate to the pain he caused you hence why he deserved it if you dumped him.
"You're making it so hard", your groaned rubbing your temples, "I would have been so much easier if you had told me that you didn't care about this, that you didn't care about me anymore".
"That's never going to happen, Y/N", Lando assured you.
"It would be so much easier if I told you to fuck yourself off, wouldn't it?", you chuckled and Lando got to see a small glimpse of the world's best smile, "but I can't do it - I do think, though, that we need to take some time, for both of us to work on our own things", you suggested.
"I get it, you can have all the time and space you need, Y/N", Lando nodded, "would it be too much to ask if I asked you for another shot?", he wondered as you quirked an eyebrow, "I know you just asked me for some time, and I'll give it to you, but I'm not going to let you entertain the thought that I don't care about you or that I don't love you any longer. I'm still the same person you met all those years ago and I want to remind you why you fell in love with me in the first place - if that's even the case", he blurted, "please".
"Slow steps, okay?", you mused with a small small.
"Is it still the case?", Lando picked up where he left off, "are you still in love with me?".
"If I wasn't in love with you and if I didn't love you, trust me, I wouldn't be here", you smiled, squeezing his hand in yours on top of the warm stone.
.
Over the last couple of days, you felt lighter. University was finally over for the semester and you could rest, and the whole situation with Lando was better. Even though it hurt to tell him all of those things and see his reaction, and even if Lando still had a lot to make up for, you had to admit you didn't expect to feel like this right away. The right path was being trailed and you couldn't feel more at peace with it.
So far, he kept his respectful distance, which didn't mean that you didn't know he was there. Two days after you met him in the marina, Lando sent you a bunch of flowers to your doorstep, your mother being the one to bring them up to your bedroom since she was arriving from work as the delivery man was about to knock on the door, smirking when she saw who it was from.
You were getting ready to go out for a picnic with Lando. The sunny day invited you to go out and Lando seemed to think the same, sending you a quick text with the location and plan ideas.
"Where are you off to?", your mother asked as she noticed you looking for your hat, "you look very nice, dear".
"Lando invited me for a picnic", you offered her a smile despite the butterfly feeling on your tummy.
"I'm glad you're working things out, Y/N - I know how much you care about him. And even if he hurt you, he's doing the work to get you back - a lot of men would just give up, but not Lando", your mother nudged. She always liked him despite her initial concerns when he moved up the racing ladder and the toll it would take on you. For a brief moment, she was upset that she had been right, but she never lost the hope that the young man dating her dating would fight for them and for her. For you.
"I'm not sure how long I'll be out, but if I'm not home for dinner, don't worry too much", you added, waving at her before closing the door.
You drove yourself to the park, politely declining Lando's offer to pick you up. As you followed the directions, you spotted Lando under one of the trees, seemingly battling with the corner of the picnic blanket.
"Hey, need help with that?", you called as you approached him, noticing his flustered face at getting caught.
"Hey! It's fine, it's fine", he dusted off his shorts, "I didn't fold the corner properly, never mind iron this", he grumbled.
"We're going to sit on it, I don't think we needed it ironed", you smiled, setting your small backpack on the blanket and occupying the space that wasn't covered with glass containers and pape bags, noticing the logo of your favourite bakery and the sweets shop near Lando's apartment.
"So, I baked these - who knew my oven works, hm?", he joked as he pulled out some granola bars that smelled delicious, "Jon did give me the recipe, but I made them! He says they don't have any harmful raw ingredients in them so there's no danger if they're not cooked properly".
"You could've told me to bring something too", you sighed, "you had all this trouble and I'm just going to sit here and eat it", you reasoned.
"I think we've gathered that I deserve all this trouble, even though I didn't mind doing it - I think I finally get it when people say they find baking relaxing, even if I just threw some oats and syrup on a bowl with nuts and chocoate", Lando shrugged.
You smiled at his antics, "this looks lovely, Lan - thank you", before you grabbed a paper napkin to grab the food.
Lando's heart did a little backflip at the pet name - when he thought about it, he can't remember the last time you called him anything other than his name.
He wiped the thought away as he noticed you get one of the paper bags, "It was no trouble, but I did have to make sure the lady at the pastry shop knew I was the next in line because there was this lady, you should've seen her, she was, like, eighty? I don't know, maybe more than that, and she was very posh and very proper and she was trying to cut in line! Then she started saying something in French and I was like 'no can do, madam! I need to get these croissants for my girlfri- for Y/N because they're her favourites' - I bet she wanted to get them first but I did!", he dramatised the scene, earning your loud laugh. How much he missed that sound.
"Seems like it was a little troublesome, though", you teased. Inside your chest, your heart beat fast at his efforts.
"You're worth it", he smiled before taking a bite of the granola bar, "not to toot my own horn, but for someone who eats pre-prepared meals, this is amazing! Try these!", he offered, forming a shell with his hand before he brought it up to your mouth.
For anyone else, this would be just another set of cute behaviours, but for you, it carried a sense of intimacy you hadn't felt in a while. Taking a bite of it and chewing, you had to admit the balance of the nutty taste and the chocolate was on point, "it is good, Lan! You should make granola bars more often - might even make a side business out of it!", you smiled.
"Charles has some ice-cream, there's alcohol from the other guys too - me? Granola bars", he smiled, eating the rest of it and looking at you. He would never be stupid again. He would never take you for granted. Never ever.
The conversation flowed once you started eating, mainly pointing out the new swings in the park of the pretty blooms that were showing up, and even though you weren't acting like you would had it not happened, it was comfortable and Lando had definitely put some effort into this.
"Thank you for this, Lando", you smiled after you helped him clean up the supplies, making sure he wouldn't have any spills and trouble taking the rest home.
"It's alright, really", Lando mumbled as blood rushed to his cheeks, "it wasn't much, but I wanted to make sure you remembered I'm still in and that I love you more than anything", he smiled, closing the basket and getting up with it to walk back to the car, "which actually brings me to an invite I want to make you", he went back to mumbling again.
The invite was a risk, he knew it. After all, it was the reason that got your relationship here in the first place. Yet, he wanted you there and he thought it would be good. Adding to it, it would be the way that he could make sure he was able to see you as it would be a busy day.
"What is it?", you asked as you walked with him.
"The day after tomorrow, we're going karting - Max and P are coming over for a few days, they arrive tomorrow - and I was wondering if you wanted to join us", he invited, "I know it's not the best environment to be in given al-", he started rambling.
"I'd love to go, Lando", you assured, touching his arm confortingly, "I might need a ride though, if you don't mind doing the detour", you pointed out.
"It's fine, of course we'll pick you up!", he smiled, happy and excited at your answer.
"That's me", you nodded to your mother's car, unlocking it with the key, "thank you so much for this, Lan, I appreciate it a lot", you smiled, raising your stance so you could kiss his cheek, "will you text me the details when you know, please?".
"Yes! Absolutely!", he gave you a big smile again, "until then, Y/N!", he waved.
As Lando walked back to his car, there was an extra spring up on his step, a new found energy and a smile that insisted on not disappearing from his lips.
Little by little, he was slowly getting you back.
.
"Why are we going this way?", Max asked as Lando took the first exit on the roundabout, "isn't the track that way?".
Lando couldn't contain his smile, "we're going to pick Y/N up first".
Max and Pietra exchanged a look before rhe blonde woman spoke up, "you finally came to your senses?".
"P!", Max scolded.
"It's alright, Max - she's not wrong", Lando added, "but yes, I have, and I'm working on it, respecting her but making sure she knows how much I regret it, how sorry and how bad I feel that it happened and how I'm trying my hardest to make sure it does happen again", Lando turned around once he stopped at the red light, "Thank you for looking after her when I didn't, P. I know you have been a good friend to her, so thank you for that", he added.
"She didn't deserve what you did to her, but I'm happy you figured it out and that you're working on it - I don't say it too often, but if you two ever broke up, I would consider that true love isn't a thing, what you two have is something else entirely", she smiled.
"Excuse me?!", Max dramatised, "what did you just say?".
"Did I lie, Max? Who was it that came home in a nervous fit without any fingernails because they bit all of them off after Lando realised what happened? The same person who couldn't even sleep because of it? Who was it, hm?", she quesioned her boyfriend.
Lando chuckled at his friends, thinking that they really had been made for one another, "you two make me look like the sanest person inside this car", he shook his head, pressing the pedal and turning into your street.
There you were, the person he was sure was made for him too. Your outfit was simple, consisting of black jeans, black trainers, a shirt sleeve polo and a cardigan on your arm.
"Hi guys!", you greeted, getting inside the car and kissing Pietra's cheek before putting your seatbelt on.
"Why don't I get a kiss?", Max pouted.
"Because you stink, that's why", Lando chirped in, "all ready to go back there?", he mused, sending you a wink from the rear view mirror.
Blushing, you nodded before looking at Pietra again, accepting her hand in yours as she gave it a squeeze. For the whole drive to the track, you engaged light conversation, mainly listening to the plans they had for the clips they were filming before they raced eachother since you and P would happily drive around in the karts just to pass the time.
For the first segment, you stayed on the stands, watching the team get the equipment ready.
"How have you been, Y/N?", Pietra asked as she handed you a bottle of water she had gone to her and taking a sip of her own.
"I've been well - university is finally done with and I can actually have a thought that doesn't involve it", you giggled, "and Lando is home", you offered.
"Now, I wasn't going to be so blunt, but that is the subject I wanted to get at", she raised her eyebrows playfully.
"He's... Goodness, he's Lando again, my Lando", you sighed happily, "surely, it still stings a little and we need to work through our issues, but we're trailing our way through them. Learning our ways together - it's a bit like falling in love again and it's such a good feeling", you blushed at your admission, "it's doing us well and we're going with it, and not out of it", you smiled.
"Y/N", Pietra cooed, "you have no idea how make that makes me! It's so good to see you so happy and hopeful", she squeezed your arm, "I was ready to avenge you on him, by the way, Max did us both a favour in telling him, because I was sure what I wanted to do to Lando was considered a crime and I'm a good person", she raised her hands defensively.
Once the boys were done, Max waved at you to come down and meet them, giving them the time to get your equipment ready.
"Come here, I need to make sure you don't fly out of your kart this time", Max called his girlfriend after she was fully equipped to go on the single seater.
You finished the makeshift hairstyle before you looked for the helmet, finding it in Lando's hands, "come here, big head, I'll help you put it on", he smiled.
As you approached him, you could see his sudden nervousness at having you so close to him, hands setting the helmet on top of your head and then pulling in on, "Look who's talking", you mumbled quickly before it was all the way in, his fingers gingerly touching your neck as he did the strap buckle.
"All good for our speed daredevils?", Max joked, getting an instant slap from Pietra before he got up.
"Does it feel safe, Y/N?", Lando checked with you, making you wiggle a little to make sure you were strapped tightly enough, making you flash his two thumbs up.
"Ready, set, go!", Max yelled before you and Pietra went off, happily driving on the track despite not extracting the full potential out of the kart.
"You and Y/N seem well", Max offered as him and Lando took a break before they joined you back at the track.
"I don't think I'll ever stop feeling this guilt on my chest, it's like a weird weight that sits here and gets heavy every now and again", Lando explained, "but I think we're going in the right direction, and I'm going to spend every day of our lives making sure it never happens again. Y/N will never doubt my love or affection for her. I just want to make her happy now that she knows I know how much I screwed us up".
"I'm proud of you, man", Max tapped his back.
"You're what?", Lando asked, a little flustered at his bestfriends words.
"I'm proud of you, Lando - you're dealing with this in such a good way! I'm not saying I doubted you would, but seeing you actually do it and make it happen in such a grown up, loving and accountability filled way makes me proud of who you became. As much as I joke about it, what P said in the car was true - you and Y/N are it. Whenever I think about what endgame is, you two are the first thing that comes to mind", he admitted.
"Thanks, mate", Lando replied earnestly.
After a couple of laps from you, you saw the boys joining you in the track, making you assure that whenever they lapped you, you made a Mario Kart like noise, always managing to get a smile and a headshake from Lando and Max.
Once you were done, Max and Pietra volunteered to take all of the supplies back to the storage room.
"Did you enjoy your day, Y/N?", Lando asked as he approached you.
Surprising him, you nodded before you hugged him, "I haven't been this happy in a long time", you cuddled him, letting your head rest on his chest and letting yourself feel enveloped by his arms after the initial shock wore off.
"I'm glad", Lando uttered out before he composed himself, "I just want you to know that I could fulfill all your dreams and that there I'll never do anything to hurt you again. I'm well aware of all shit I've done and put you through, and how accountable I am for it. I just want to make you happy", he chuckled, "I don't want anything else in this world other than to make you happy, to show you how much I love you and that I want make this work, I want to make us work", he let out in such a serious and intense tone that you could feel a knot forming your throat, "you were my first love and I want you to be my last, Y/N".
"Lan...", you gasped softly, "I know it hasn't been good for you, but I just need a little bit more time to put it behind me, once for all", you added.
"I know, and that's alright", he mumbled against the top of your head, "I just wanted you to know that it is coming straight from my heart - everything I do, I do it for you", plucking up the courage to press a kiss there.
You closed your eyes and basked in the feeling, "two Bryan Adams references in the same sentence from the guy who used to DJ? You impress me, Lando Norris", you giggled and teased him playfully, feeling the rubble from his own laugh on his chest.
"I'll make sure to impress you everyday that we're alive, Y/N Y/L/N", he promised.
And he intended to keep it.
.
Lando invited you to his apartment for a cosy night in, thinking the plans over and over while he waited for you to arrive.
The delivery service was faster than he expected so he wrapped the takeout boxes in all of the kitchen towells he had so they would help retain the heat while you weren't there yet.
The whole apartment was tidy, he had your favourite blanket on the sofa and the TV had your favourite shows ready to stream in the background as you hopefully shared a comforting meal.
Your acceptance to come to his place made Lando feel very pleased with the way you were trailing in your relationship. He had been able to correct his mistakes and make you happy again. Even though there had been moments where he seemed to forget, he now knew that you had always been and will always be a priority in his life. He had never been in love with anyone else and he was sure he would always be until his last breath.
A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts, heading up to the door to open it, "Hello hello! Come in", he gestured as you stepped inside, pecking his lips on the way - a few days prior, you had kissed him out of nowhere when you went to the bookshop and you swore he looked like a cartoon, all wide eyes and blushy cheeks.
Lando assured you you wouldn't leave the house and it would be just the two of you, so you hadn't bothered to put together a proper outfit, opting to wear a pair of leggings and an old Quadrant hoodie.
"I wasn't sure if I should bring anything, so I stopped by the sweets shop to get some of these hard candies, apparently they're very trendy now", you giggled sweetly as you set the bag on his hands so you could take your trainers off.
"You didn't have to, but thanks! We'll do a taste test after dinner - which is here by the way", he guided you to the living room.
Unravelling the mountain of kitchen towells, he had you sit down before he opened the containers, handing you a plate after you chose a bit of each of the dishes he ordered, "thank you, Lan", you smiled, sitting criss-cross on the sofa and waiting for him to do the same before you started eating.
"These are really good, have you tried them? They're new on their menu and when the guy explained it to me, I thought you'd like it", he pointed to one of the bite sized pieces.
"They are! They're not too heavy on the seasoning and they're really nice when you dip them in this sauce - try it!", you offered him the small cup.
"Is this going to be lik the time you made me dip my spring rolls in that other sauce you claimed was the best thing in the world?", he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Just try it, Lan!", you insisted, getting one from your plate, dipping it in the sauce and taking it up to Lando's mouth, your hand under the chopsticks in case some of it fell on his clothes.
Lando chewed it before nodding and humming in satisfaction, "is it good", he admitted with a smile after he wiped his lips.
Once you finished eating, you helped Lando bring everything back to the kitchen, saving the leftovers on his fridge, washing the plates and putting them away.
"You didn't have to help, I could've done it myself", Lando nudged before he laced your hand in his and pulled you back to the living room, "do you want to watch something?", he asked.
"There's this new Disney movie I haven't watched if you're up for it - or any of the shows we usually watch, I'm not picky", you answered quickly.
"Disney it is", he smiled sitting down and resting his arm on the back of the sofa, hoping you'd sit next to him and cuddle him.
You shuffled around before grabbing the fluffy blanket, pulling it over your legs and tentatively closing the distance between you, taking the plunge and taking a spot on his chest.
Once the movie was playing, Lando's arm dropped to wrap around you, lulling you closer to him and rubbing your arm.
"I can hear you thinking, and I'm sure you're not thinking about that little goat", you nodded to the screen.
"I'm watching the movie, I swear - and he's quite funny actually! He's also Mila's favourite character, at least he was last week", Lando chuckled, "but I was also thinking about us", he admitted.
"You were?", you turned to look up at him, wanting to know more.
"You do know I will apologize for what I did until the end of our lives, don't you?", Lando reflected out loud.
"Lando, stop it, it's forgiven and forgotten", you offered.
"Is it really?", he asked, a small smile breaking his way into his lips.
"It is, it's behind us now", you kissed his clothed chest.
"I will never forget it, though. It doesn't matter how many times you tell me to forget it that you've forgiven me", he let out a shaky sigh, "I don't think I will, I hate myself for what did to you, the hurt that I caused you".
"Lando, let's not talk about it right now - not now, not ever. It's a part of our story, yes, and we learned from it, but I don't want to to remember every day. We are good now, and I don't want you to torture yourself with something that is out of your reach and that you can't change", you told him sternly, now sitting back against the sofa so you can face your boyfriend, "Promise me we won't mention this again, Lando".
"You're right", Lando agrees, "Okay, you're right, I promise, Y/N", he stated with a smile.
Your delicate lips peck his quickly before you go in for a second kiss, longer and more intense this time, and you both got lost in eachother.
You couldn't change what happened, but you could learn from it and work everyday to make sure it never happened again.
Lando was crazy about you, about who he was when was with you and how you made him feel, and you felt the same way about him
"I love you, Lando", you smiled after you pulled away, resting your forehead in his.
"I love you forever, Y/N", he whispered, sealing his promise with a peck and bracing himself, "I'm never taking you for granted, and maybe this is a big gesture and I'm not sure how much this fits our new way - new patch? It's not a patch if we want it to last forever, right? - anyway, I would like to ask you to move in with me", Lando stated, "it doesn't have to be tomorrow or right away, we'll do it when you're ready! I just- I spend so much time of the year away as it is, and I don't want to cut the short time even shorter when it comes to you, so this way we'll be together for a bit longer - even if it's just at nightime and we can intertwine our legs or I can warm up the bed for you", he rambled on and you were sure he wouldn't stop anytime soon.
"Hey, hey! Lando, baby", you cupped his face with your hands, "look at me", you smiled as you straddled his lap, your thighs on each side of his and keeping you from fully sitting on him, "good now?".
"Well, since you're already there - sit, please", Lando added before he allowed himself to stress about your answer.
"I don't want to squash you", you mumbled.
Laying his hands in your thighs, he pulled you down, "I said sit down", he spoke sternly despite the playful glint on his eyes, "it's my home after all, I get to make the rules".
"Oh, I thought it was our home, but maybe I misread th-", your playfulness was cut short as your boyfriend flipped you around, your back hitting the soft sofa cushion with a yelp.
"You're moving in? For real?", he asked.
"Yes, baby, I'm moving in", you cupped his cheek, pulling him for a kiss, "I love you".
"My love, I'm going to spend everyday reminding you how beautiful, how strong", he started kissing your face with every word, "how kind, how amazing, how sexy, how hot, how smart, how kind, how incredible you are", he stopped just above your lips, "how all mine you are - I love you Y/N, forever", before he kissed your lips.
More Posts from Kagome45 and Others
LANDO NORRIS (4) - MASTERLIST OF FAVS
Some of my favorite stories, writers you are amazing
4 - LANDO NORRIS 1.0 4 - LANDO NORRIS 2.0 4 - LANDO NORRIS 3.0
My Only Wish This Year
(gif credit to the creator)
Part One
Master List
Pairing: Jensen x Reader Word Count: 2,249 Warnings: angsty teens, mentions of death, mentions of a dead parent, mentions of a dead spouse A/N: I’M BACK BITCHES!!!! I haven’t posted writing on this blog in exactly two years and seven months. I’m happy to be back and to be back writing Jensen. Writing Jensen (and Dean) always seems to come easiest to me so it makes sense that this was the way to go. If you’d like to be tagged let me know, in an ask (it’s the best way for me to keep track)! Hope you guys like it! Anyway, feedback for this is crucial seeing as I’m just stepping back in! :)
Keep reading
The Apology pt 1
Divider by @firefly-graphics
“What do you mean you won’t be home for my birthday?! You’re always home for my birthday!” Chris sighed “I’m so sorry piglet but I can’t avoid it this year. They need me on set to start filming”. Dani shook her head “Ryan was right. You’re never home anymore” Chris put his hands on his hips and raised his voice “that’s not fair Danica and you know it”. Her temper got the better of her “what I know is that lately it seems like being Chris Evans is more important to you then being home and being our dad!” “That’s enough Danica!” “Mom should have never married you so that none of us would have to deal with you as our father!”. Chris’ heart dropped as she stomped away to her room.
***
Dani walked into Ryan’s room and plopped herself on his bed, he didn’t even bother turning away from his computer to face her “get out of my room Danica” “I hate him Ryan” “hate who?” “Dad” Ryan turned around in a flash “where the hell is that coming from? Because that’s not like you” “he’s going away again and he’s gonna miss my birthday” Ryan rolled his eyes “oh my god, don’t be a brat. You’re turning twenty, it’s not that big of a deal” “is too!” She shouted “he’s never missed my birthday” he laughed “that’s actually not true and you were to small to remember but he missed your second birthday. Mom just never told you because of how much a daddy’s’ girl you are”
***
You came home to an eerily quiet home and with five kids in the house you knew that wasn’t normal. You walked to the den hoping you’d find someone there and you found your husband who didn’t look good “Spangles? You okay?” He didn’t turn to look at you “why did you marry me y/n?”
You looked at him like he had five heads “well it’s about twenty four years too late for that question Chris” instead of getting the laugh you were hoping for he snapped “I’m being serious” you sat down next to him “where’s this coming from? What happened?”
He sighed “Danica happened” you rolled your eyes “what are you two arguing about now?” He looked down “the same thing that Ryan and I argued over before I left to film Ghosted. That apparently I’m a horrible father that only cares about my career instead of my family”. This was your last straw. You were going to have a serious conversation with your children because their behavior was inexcusable and you know they weren’t raised to act like this. Chris saw the anger on your face “don’t pretty bird, it’s fine” you stood “no Chris it’s not. I’m done with coddling them and trying to justify their poor behavior”. You walked away to go upstairs to find all four of your terrors.
****
You saw Ryan’s door open and heard him and Danica taking so you knocked on the twins bedroom door and Brayden opened it “what’s up mama?”. You were short with them “Ryan’s room. Both of you. Now”.
You barged straight into Ryan’s room with the twins hot on your heels. Ryan looked confused “mom?”
“Ryan if you were ever going to be quiet, now is the time”
They all recognized that tone. It was your angry tone. One that you rarely used. The twins sat on the floor between the bed where Dani was and Ryan’s desk where he was sitting.
“We’re going to have a conversation. I have no idea what’s been up with you four and this sudden behavior and attitude change but it’s stopping now because this is not how I raised any of you to act. You don’t get to suddenly decide that because you’re grown up that you get to talk to your father the way that you do.”
Brayden’s eyes widened “wait a minute, Bran and I never give dad the amount of shit that those two do so why are we getting hollered at?” You snapped back “because you still give him shit Brayden, now be quiet”
Dani’s shoulders slumped “we’re sorry mommy” you shook your head “I’m not the one you need to be apologizing to Danica and as a matter of fact you four are going to stay here in this room until you figure out how you’re going to apologize to your dad”. You walked out and slammed the door behind you.
Ryan threw his head back and sighed “great, because this is exactly how I wanted to spend my afternoon” he lifted his head “thanks a lot Danica”. Her jaw dropped “me? Are you kidding?” Brayden snapped at her “yes you! We’re in this because of you. If you didn’t have to be such a fucking brat all the damn time we wouldn’t be in this situation”
Brandon tried reasoning with them “look we’re all to blame. Each one of us is guilty of giving Dad shit”. Ryan lifted an eyebrow “you never give dad shit Brandon” he shrugged “well yeah because someone has to be the good child”. That broke out a whole other argument between them.
Lando and Love In F1
finished but open for epilogues
Summary: You are a Female F1 Ferrari driver, the daughter of Toto Wolff, and you and Lando like each other but won’t act on it till the other drivers intervene
a/n: I might change the title as I don't love it, but I cant wait to start writing this
Masterlist
Teaser
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Taglist: @suckerforspace @its-astrotea-love @jzr201 @tinymouse13 @baueoud @bi-lmg
favourite thingᯓ★ln4
-
Coming back to a place you once thought of as your home is never easy, what's even difficult is saying goodbyes to the things you once cherished. It's been years since your grandfather died and you know it's time to sell the one thing you had been dreading to sell in order to set yourself free.
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chapter one
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Goodbye's were never easy, you learnt that the hard way. The wind knocked you off your feet. Monaco was still the same, the richness in the air, the sweet enveloping smell of the coast. You hadn't been here in years. Your grandfather's death had hurt you a great deal. He was the one who raised you after your parents death. You had hoped to leave your traumas and problems in Monaco when you left at the ripe age of seventeen to pursue your dreams.
The estate was exactly the same as it was before, posh, proper, it screamed royalty just like the whole of Monaco. You opened the large antique black doors and walked into the place you once called home. You felt as if you were four again. Hugging your teddy bear to your chest, balling your eyes out after you heard the news about your parents private jet crashing. Your grandfather trying his level best to cheer you up, trying to make you laugh. Growing up he would try his level best to be your cheerleader you never had the heart to tell him that his jokes were terrible. He just wasn't the kind of person who would sacrifice everything for just a little girl who now seems to have the world in her hands. The house was empty, all the furniture covered with cream coloured sheets. Dust bunnies all over the place. Your grandfather would have hated to see the house like this. You ran your hands on the railing as you walked to your teenage bedroom. The room hitting you with a wave of nostalgia. The grand bed and the large balcony. You placed your suitcase in a corner. You went to the store room to take out fresh sheets, you'd be staying here for a while, so this needed to feel like home the way it did once. While taking out the sheets, you found the little black book that once was your whole entire life. You ran your hands through the pages of the album, laughing and giggling as you saw photos of you as a rebellious teenage girl, partying, going out with boys that was your whole life at a time but now modelling was your whole life. You wanted to say goodbye to this place in the most grand way possible. It was time to take an idea from that little black book and put it to use. You texted everyone you knew from your childhood.
Your sundress floated around in the warm air as you walked back from the little birthday shop across the street, bags in your hand filled with balloons, banners. You were super excited you had been waiting for a party to come around. Monaco had the best parties and this was going to be one of them.
The sky turned to dusk, and people started to enter the house. You greeted everyone with a smile on your face ready to get this party. The kitchen was filled with expensive booze. The music was loud everyone was in the centre of the living room, giggling and dancing. Couples in the corner making out, people throwing up in the bathroom. It was a typical high school rager just how you liked it. You joined people in the garage, playing beer pong with your high school friends, when you saw a familiar face walk in. It was your older brother's childhood best friend, Charles. Only he wasn't alone, next to him was a curly haired guy, with a small moustache. You waved to Charles as you gestured him to come over.
"Hey Y/N, how are you? I haven't seen you since forever, I heard about your grandfather how have you been doing".
You shot him a smile and engulfed him in a hug, "I am doing fine now, I see racing's been going well".
He let out a chuckle, "It's going".
"Who's your friend". You gestured to the handsome man standing next to Charles.
Charles wrapped an arm around the young man "Oh, yeah this is Lando"
You immediately put your hand forward to shake his hand. His warm hand enveloped your perfectly. It was a perfect fit.
"Hello, I am Lando, nice place you got here"
You told him your name and gave him a smile. When your phone started to ring, it was the young couple who was going to buy your grandfather's estate.
"I am sorry, I have to take this, have fun" You spoke and left the garage
What you didn't expect was the call to leave you in tears. Here you were sitting in your bathroom, crying and clutching your phone tightly in your hands. You quickly wiped your tears as you saw the same man come inside your bathroom, a red solo cup in hand.
"Oh, it's you again, I am sorry I thought no one was here". He spoke nervously looking at his shoes.
You chuckled "It is my home after all"
"Do you mind if I sit here"
"Yeah of course". He grabbed your vanity chair and sat on it. "So why are you crying".
"You saw that, you didn't hear anything right". You spoke suddenly becoming conscious of yourself.
He started to fidget with his fingers "No but do you want to talk about it". You raised your eyebrow at him.
He raised his hands in defence "Geez, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to".
"It's fine, it's just I used to live here with my grandfather after my parents died, now my grandfather's dead and I have come here all the way from New York to sell this house and the buyers who were originally going to buy this house backed out of the deal so now I am left with no buyers and no one who can continue to maintain this house".
His lips fell into a thin straight line, "There are so many people who would love to live here why don't you sell it to one of them".
You let out a sarcastic chuckle, "You don't get it this house is old, it's been here at the same spot in the same state, it's in top notch condition but every single person who wants to buy this house wants to rebuild it from scratch and my grandfather wouldn't like that, heck, he didn't even like me moving to New York".
You saw his face light up as he gave you the biggest smile you had ever experienced, "How about I buy it".
You burst into laughter at his proposition, you pointed a finger at him, "You want to buy this house"
He gave you a perplexed look, "Yeah it's a beautiful house". He pulled out his phone and started to type something, he shoved his phone in your face.
"Lando, Lando Norris" You spoke reading the long Wikipedia page he opened on himself. "So your an f1 driver like Cha, and you want to buy this house".
"Yes" He gave you a wink
"Fine, I'll sell you my house but you have to promise you won't try to rebuild it from scratch like those other dumbasses".
He nodded and linked your pinky finger together, "Promise, for how long are you here though"
"I was gonna be here for a month but now that I have a new buyer I might stay here for an extra month, stay in this house for a little more time before you move in here".
He looked at his phone and his eyes widened, "It's late very late, I'll come tomorrow to see the house then".
"Yeah, pleasure doing business with you" You shook his hand, "I should probably shoo these people away
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You woke up next morning in the comfort of your bed, stretching your arms you removed your silk sleeping mask and kept it on your nightstand. You walked towards your marble bathroom to get ready for the day. Putting on a cute little white dress, you got out of your bedroom heading downstairs to make some breakfast. This place was starting to feel like home again, but you knew you had to get back to New York, get back to your busy life, to the fashion weeks and flashing lights. Your phone lit up, it was a text message from an unknown number.
It's me Lando, I got your phone number from Charles, I am coming to see the house today, if that's okay with you?
You totally forgot about that, you were drunk out of your mind, you didn't think he was serious but it was worth a shot. He was pretty serious about buying your house. A knock made you come back to earth. You opened the door and were greeted by Lando, "Can I come in"
You opened the door widely, "Welcome to my humble abode".
His smile soon faded and his nose scrunched up, trying to pick up on the burning smell in the kitchen, "What's that smell?".
Oh shit. Your food was burning, you ran into the kitchen and immediately switched the stove off, you threw the burnt toast in the dustbin.
"Sorry, that was my breakfast".
"How about this, I see the house and you and I can go out and get food to finalise the deal".
You looked down at the floor shyly and nodded, "I'd love that".
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"And this is my bedroom, it's very girly I know but it'd make a perfect guest room, the view is amazing, the coastline, the warm air, the smell of the sea wafting in the air, what more could you ask for". You tried your best to makeup for the kitchen fiasco, worried that your carelessness might cause you the very great deal you had made.
Your blood ran cold when he chuckled, "Did you really think I would cancel our deal over that".
"Yeah"
He walked towards you, "I am serious about buying this house, it's beautiful just like it's owner".
"Is this your way of flirting with me".
He came closer to you, "Maybe".
You patted his chest, swatting him away playfully, "Nice try, we just met".
"Then get to know me".
You gave him a light smirk, "Maybe, after we finish the tour".
"This is the backyard, there's a huge pool over there, for sunbathing and pool parties, we have a small patch over there to grow vegetables and fruits, though it needs some water, ahh here's my favourite part of the backyard the gazebo, the backyard should be enough to knock your socks off along with the view of course". You spoke enthusiastically.
He clapped his hands together, "Your right this is a great investment, I am ready to buy this house right here right now".
You laughed loudly. Your laugh was like music to his ears, "Woah, easy there tiger there are some formalities first".
"Now that the tour is over how about that lunch".
You grabbed your bag from the table, "Fine, fine you got me".
𐙚
You and Lando, took a seat at a small café, surrounded by the serene beauty of Monaco. You could feel him staring at you, trying to hold his laugh, "Why are you dressed like that".
You fiddled with the flimsy menu held together in a small binder, "I thought you would understand, paparazzi, fans, I just don't want to get ambushed".
You admired this place, this little corner where you could come and eat, surrounded by flowers, greenery.
"Unlike you, I actually care about my fans, if anyone asks for a photo you give them what you want".
Taking off your designer sunglasses, you scoffed, "Clearly, your experience has been different". You ushered a waiter over to your table, "Umm, can I have the creamy pesto shrimp pasta and Lando what would you like to have".
The young Brit pointed his finger at some spot in the menu, "I'll have the cacio e pepe".
"So tell me more about yourself, your hobbies, ex-girlfriends". You wiggled your eyebrows amusingly
"Well with formula one I haven't found many hobbies, but I love streaming, I have a twitch account you should check it out, secondly, I have a couple ex-girlfriends".
"Aren't you a casanova".
"I am hardly a casanova, I am just too charming but enough about me and more about you, I want to know about your glamorous life in New York". He spoke taking a sip of his drink
You played around with the small paper straw in your pink lemonade, toying with the huge ice cubes, "It's not as thrilling as racing, but I get to wear pretty clothes, own many bags, get to travel for work a lot and the perks are just an addition but it isn't my favourite thing in the world".
His attention was now all on you his pasta untouched, and his eyes focused on you, "And what is this favourite thing of yours".
"It's quite funny, I don't know that myself".
You noticed how his face shifted, his lips curled into a frown. A guy like him only deserved to smile and looked his best when he was happy, "Then that's what we're going to find out till your here in Monaco".
"Aren't you busy with races". You questioned
He poked his cheek with his tongue giving you a tight lipped smile, "Oh, you can come to them too, cheer me on you know"
"That sounds fun".
"Trust me it is, so what do you want to do first".
You took a bite of your pasta, eyes widening slowly, "What, you mean you want to find my favourite thing now".
He gave his credit card to the young waitress, asking her to get him the cheque, "Yes now".
Here you were walking with 'The Lando Norris'. Holding gelato in your hand staring at the sun setting down."In all my years of living here I never appreciated the coastline until now".
You watched him take a huge bite of the pistachio ice cream in his hand, you knew he was regretting that bite by the look on his face, "Shit, this shit's cold".
"Were you even listening to me". You crossed your arms together forging a playful pout in order to guilt trip him.
"Something about the coastline".
"I guess you were listening".
You couldn't believe the man sitting next to you, eating his gelato and making jokes like a little child, the sun casting a warm glow on his face, enhancing his features you swore you had never seen a man as perfect as him before, "Come on, I'll take you home".
Riding in his Mclaren, your head out the window, your hair flowing in the air, you had never felt this alive before and it was all because of some guy who wanted to buy your house as a favour to you.
Now here he was standing in front of you, dropping you back home after an eventful day with that same droopy smile. There was tension but you couldn't act on it so you just smiled awkwardly, "I had fun today, same time tomorrow?"
"Heck yeah, I won't let you leave till we find that favourite thing of yours".
𐙚
Joe burrow you’re so fucking SEXY.
Yes I have a whole bunch of pictures of Ezra chasing natsu and gray
hide and seek | steve rogers ; 2
summary | After seeing Peggy in the 70s and everything that happened, distance began to grow between you and Steve.
words | 2.4k+
genres | angst, tiny fluff
pairing | endgame!steve rogers x avenger!reader
warnings | endgame spoilers, death
note | THE SECOND PART IS FINALLY HERE! I planned to keep this one in drafts at first since I didn't really expect requests for a second part 🤣 But here it is now! Thank you so much for reading the first one. I appreciate everyone's feedback and reblogs 🤍🤍 Enjoy reading!
masterlist | first part | third part
“Y/N, doll.”
Steve called your name since he wants to talk to you as soon as possible before anything happens again. You turned around, instantly meeting his eyes. He cannot read anything from yours as they remained empty but your jaw clenched. He can say that you are still stopping yourself from voicing anything about what happened in Peggy’s office. Steve was about to say something again when Bruce spoke, making you two turn around.
“Clint, where’s Nat?”
Bruce, you, and Steve wait for Clint’s answer. But the archer avoided your eyes and you held your breath. You tried to remain positive with your thoughts. Maybe Natasha had to do something alone–
“She’s gone.”
Your heart dropped straight to your stomach. Unconsciously, you held on to Steve’s arm, making him look at you with worry written all over his face. He sees tears instantly threatening your eyes.
“What? What do you mean she’s gone?” Bruce broke off the silence with his denial.
The others caught up upon Clint’s alone arrival that they asked questions too. Clint, who was already devastated, had to tell everyone what he and Natasha had to do to get the stone. He told how they fought to die for it, trying not to break down into pieces in between sentences.
Tony was the one who asked everyone to take some time off and mourn near the lake. Steve held you as you two walked to your shared room in the compound. The green uniform from the 70s that he was still wearing ended up damp on the chest part. He consoles you, rubbing your back up and down while placing kisses on your hair. When you entered your room, your boyfriend lets you sit on the corner of your kingsized bed while he picks on clothes for your both to change on before going to the lakeside.
“I-I’m not going,” you whispered when he placed your clothes on the bed next to you.
Steve cocked his head to you. He was already dressed up. You were still crying but calmer now. You did not even look at him when you continued,
“You should go. I just need to be alone.”
As much as he wants to stay with you, Steve knew that you needed it. Natasha was your best friend and sister– non-blood related – after you two worked together for SHIELD. Steve nods. He leaned down to your face level. You closed your eyes, tears streaming down. He gently held your cheek, wiping the continuously flowing tears with his thumb before placing a small kiss on your forehead. You whimpered before biting your lower lip, not letting yourself express more emotions. Steve tried to look past it as he gets up.
“I’ll be at the lake, okay?” he told you before leaving the room, feeling a little skeptical.
You fought and both your body and mind are beaten up.
You cried for everyone you lost, feeling Natasha’s presence as you stood next to your allies. You imagined standing side by side with her in this biggest battle of your life as an Avenger.
You screamed until your throat hurts as you hit one enemy to another.
You shed tears when you saw Thor’s Mjolnir land on Steve’s hand. Maybe the tears came from joy, pride, or exhaustion. You don’t know. Your emotions are already all over the place.
“Oh, shi–”
You were with Rocket Raccoon, shooting your blasters at every alien you see. You swore you were ready to die in the name of protecting everyone in this world. But you still felt goosebumps on your skin when you see an enormous alien approaching you. A Leviathan was ready to engulf you two in his giant mouth when suddenly it disintegrated into dust.
“What the hell happened?” he asked as he looked around.
You exhaled, tired, but it ended with a smile. “We did it. We won–”
The grin and relief on your face dropped when your eyes spotted Tony, half of his body wounded. No, no, no, no. The guns slipped from your hands as you ran in his direction. Your vision became all blurry with tears. The more it gets blurry, the slower you feel. It was like everything is happening in slow motion when you stopped moving and simply watched. You see Rhodey landing near his weak friend. Peter called his name over and over again and your heart was crushed into pieces. Pepper came. From the distance, you cannot hear anything Pepper told her husband. But to watch the couples’ solemn and last exchange, mashed whatever’s left in you. Both their hands are on his arc reactor and everyone witnessed Tony’s last breath when his palm fell. You looked around, and that’s when you noticed Steve standing next to Thor. His helmet was useless in hiding the devastated look on his face. You walked to him, approaching him with a soft touch on his back.
“Steve…” you called his name before biting your tongue to stop an incoming sob.
Your boyfriend turned around and without any wasted second, you welcomed him in your arms. No more words needed to say. Both you and Steve felt like a winner and a loser at the same time. You two teared up because of a million mixed emotions for everything you have done and went through for this moment. You knew you still have things to talk about and hopefully, you can have time to talk about it.
But for now, a hug would be fine.
“Thank you, Steve.”
Pepper offered a warm smile after almost everyone who came for Tony’s funeral left. Steve helped in sending the guests off as Pepper already looked tired and still have to look after Morgan. Steve nods and gave her a polite smile.
“You and Y/N should rest now too. I can manage here. Happy will help me clean up here.” she told him.
“Just don’t hesitate to give us a call if you and Morgan need anything,” he replied before they shared a short hug.
After that, Steve searched for you around the cabin. He has been worried for you as you seemed unemotional beside him earlier. You only had your arms crossed as you stared at the arc reaction flowing on the lake. Finally, he saw you near the lake, talking with Clint and Wanda. He walked to you.
“Doll, let’s go?”
You turned around and nods at him before turning back to your friends again. You hugged Clint once again and so is Wanda.
“You can come to our house, okay?”
You whispered to the Sokovian. Unlike Clint who has a family, Wanda is all alone and you wanted to ensure her that you and Steve are always open to welcoming her into your abode.
“Aren’t we going to help Pepper with cleaning up?” you asked Steve while you two walk to the car.
Your boyfriend shakes his head, “Happy will stay here for a while to help her. She wants us to rest for now.”
Throughout the whole ride, you had your attention on nature outside your window. You asked Steve to roll it down because you want to take in the fresh air. He took a quick side glance at you and had a small smile watching you enjoying the breeze. The Starks’ cabin is very much hidden from the city. It took almost an hour to get out of the woods and it gave him a vacant time to think about things. Specifically, you and your relationship. You have been pretty reserved and he did not want to force you into having dialogues with him promptly. He wants to be patient and wait, hoping that the speechlessness will pass.
In the meantime, he would deal with silence as you fell asleep on the passenger seat.
“I’m going to the shelter.”
You passed by Steve, who is brewing coffee in your kitchen. Wearing your casual clothes, you picked up your house and car keys from the foyer table.
“Do you want coffee, doll? Breakfast? I can make you a quick one–” Steve offered when you entered the kitchen.
“It’s fine.” you declined before planting a feather-like kiss on his cheek. It was too swift that he almost didn’t feel it.
Turns out it’s hard to find time to talk. Especially when one is always busy with other things. By one, Steve means you. It’s been weeks since the last battle. Tony had his funeral in his and his family’s lakeside cabin. Other Avengers was already branching out their own lives. Bruce stayed to build a new Quantum Tunnel for the stones to be returned after he rests his injured arm. You and Steve still did not talk about his last mission: returning the infinity stones. But he knows you knew about it since it was the original plan. Still, he wants to have a conversation with you.
But you became… distant. A day after the funeral, you went back to managing the orphanage you and Natasha co-founded for the kids of those who have been snapped. There were still kids left in your care and you try to reach and look for their returned parents in any way you can. You figured that maybe you can turn all your emotions and time to it.
He gulped before asking you again, “Can I visit you there later? Maybe we can have lunch together. We can eat out.”
You paused and slowly turned at him. Steve waited for your answer but you only looked at him like you were thinking of reasons to get away from his invite. It was like a confirmation that you are, indeed, avoiding him. Steve tried to mask up his chagrin when he spoke again,
“It’s fine. You’re probably busy there, now that everyone’s back. Just let me know when you get to the shelter.”
You replied a simple nod before turning your back again and leaving the house. During your whole solo drive to the shelter, you have this feeling of a tight knot in your stomach. You hated it. You had your knuckles gripping tight on the steering wheel. Like you wanted to go back home and stay with Steve. But you didn’t.
You don’t know how long was the drive since you found yourself parking in front of the orphanage. One of your few staff greeted you with a wave when she spotted you inside your car. You waved back with a cheery smile. Only for it to drop when she continued watering the other plants around the home. You rested your forehead on the steering wheel, exhaling.
“Yeah, I’m not going tomorrow. Can you manage the facility?”
You talk with Anna, your staff, through a call since you’re already on your way home. The whole day in the shelter, you were distracted by your thoughts and Steve. You cannot stop feeling awful about rejecting Steve’s efforts that you decided to go home a little early than usual. You knew that you two needed to talk and maybe you can do it as soon as you can. So you were glad when Anna expressed that she can take lead.
“Thank you, Anna.” you dropped the call with a smile.
It will be a hassle to cook this late. So you thought pizza and beer would be good even though your boyfriend cannot get drunk. You tried to calm your nerves as you turned off your headlights when you reached home. You were quiet with opening the door with the box of pizza and canned beers.
“I’m returning the stones tomorrow. Bruce already rebuilt the machine.”
You heard Steve’s deep voice just when you stepped into the house. You remained quiet with your gentle footsteps.
“Are you bringing the shield?”
It was Bucky. You were not surprised that he’s here as he always visits. You just never meet across since you were always busy. You were slow in your moves, careful with everything you were holding. The two old pals are probably in the kitchen.
“No, I’m leaving it to Sam. You know that I am giving up the shield.” Steve replied.
Your eyebrows crunched together as you stay still near the door. He’s giving up the shield?! You know about the returning of the infinity stones. But you didn’t know that he had other plans. So you stayed behind the walls, listening to them.
“Yeah. But have you told Y/N? You can’t leave without telling her.”
Leave?! Your heart beats faster than ever. Is he really leaving?! You felt panging pain in you. Something like shredding your heart. You felt your lips quivering as you felt like seeing red.
“Well… She–”
Your hands almost let go of whatever you holding. Thankfully, you quickly caught it. But it caused a rustling sound and you heard the chair moving from the kitchen. You figured you will just show yourself than be caught. You appeared in the kitchen entryway and you see the two soldiers surprised to see you.
“Oh, h-hey…” You forced a smile on your face, acting like you didn’t hear anything.
They knew you heard them as you appeared upset. Bucky looked at Steve. Without any verbal communication, they understood each other. Steve immediately walked to you but you handed him the beer and pizza. He noticed the way your hands formed into a stone fist when it was emptied.
“You’re home early, doll,” he spoke.
You nod, “I am. I thought we can have pizza and maybe drink too. But you two seemed to have it already.”
You tried to joke as you pointed to the bottled drinks on the table.
“Oh, it’s fine. It’s our last one anyway.” Bucky smiled, trying to ride along your jolly persona too. “Actually, I’m going home. So you two can–”
“No! No! Stay.” you stopped him with stern stress on the last word. “I’m going up. I’ll probably rest. I… I suddenly felt a bad headache. You guys should have the pizza and beer.”
You turned your back, shutting off once again. Steve called your name but you simply shook your head. The two men watched your back as you left. They heard your heavy, slow footsteps on the wooden staircase.
“Go talk to her,” Bucky advised before getting a slice of pizza and patting Steve’s back.
Steve nods and quickly followed your trail. Bucky took himself out of the house. Just when you heard Steve stepping on the second floor, you locked the door in the guest room. That’s where you would be staying for tonight. Your boyfriend figured it out when he sees your shared room open door. He went straight to the other room, knocking on the door.
“Doll, Y/N…” he called out softly. He heard a muffled sob and he knew that you are crying not because of that sudden headache. It took a few more knocks and calls before you answered.
“Please, leave me alone, Steve.”
tags [for everyone who asked for the second part! tysm <3]
@nana1000night @cevansssimp @celestialeviereads @watermelanie612 @vesta-ro @feestyles @epiphany-of-a-madwoman
Unexpected Future: Andy Barber/Reader. (1/6)
Summary:As a single mother of a six-year-old, you decide to move out after realizing that his father, Ari Levinson, simply didn't have you both as a priority. In the twists and turns of life, you meet Andy Barber but your job makes things complicated, especially when you work with his son and see his ex-wife several times.
If you like, I would be so grateful if you reblog or comments to interact ( I love to share your thoughts) Also, let me know if you wanna be tagged on every chapter to be remembered.
You arrived four months ago in that town. You were delighted, totally content with how nice people they could be, yet your greatest contact had been with other parents from Mason's school and no more than meetings you felt compelled to go to.
And it was definitely clear to you that the six-year-old was much more sociable than you, you could tell, but he had also helped you to be a little more open to others.
You worked as a psychologist, and you had an office in your house, which also allowed you to have the presence of Mason, who, fortunately for you, was also a calm kid. So, in a three-by-three room, you attended while a door separated you from Mason who used to watch TV.
One morning, ready to drop Mason off at school, you were surprised when the "captain" of the mothers' group interfered with you on your way to the car. You were startled, but seeing that there was no danger in her movement, you laughed and put your hand to your chest "Sorry to scare you" she spoke quickly.
"No, no, it's okay."
She nodded "Could I talk to you for a moment?" you looked at your watch, aware that the second patient of the day would be arriving in thirty minutes.
"Sure, tell me."
"You see... I'm Jacob Barber's mother."
You nodded with a smile "Nice to meet you, my son keeps saying he's a good friend" you remembered his name, Mason was talking about him. Laurie smiled sideways somewhat flattered, but you noticed the nervousness in her body. And there you noticed there was more to it than just an introduction. "How can I help you?"
"Umh, you'll see," she had begun to ramble on about it, and you waited patiently. After all, you were assessing people's behavior too. "I heard you're a psychologist" you nodded and she let out a sigh "you see, Jacob's father and I divorced a year ago, things have been complicated. I think he might, I don't know, he's changing, changed his attitude" you nodded sympathetically "I was wondering if you could, I don't know, attend to him".
"Yeah sure" you assured taking your phone from your pocket and giving her a reassuring smile "Want to schedule a day?"
She seemed to let out the air nodding "Yes please."
You paused and looked at her "Before that, in the case of children, I usually work the first session with both parents present."
"Oh yes, yes of course," she nodded quickly as if anything you could say would be in agreement. And you scheduled it for Friday afternoon.
Before you got home, you passed by the coffee shop you went to every day. You walked in and to your surprise, this time it wasn't quite as usual. "I'm telling you, Sam. Every afternoon I have her calling me for the slightest thing the kid does. Do you know how stressful that can be?" you walked up to the counter, seeing that man talking to the man on the other side of the counter. He had his coffee in his hands, but you saw how totally stressed he was as he scratched his chin with his free hand. You saw how his suit covered his shirt, but you were even more surprised by the way his chest was heavily marked with the shirt. "That he spends all day running, he's a kid! He's supposed to do that, let him get dirty if he wants to, I'd be worried if he didn't!"
You agreed with him, but just smiled at the older lady who approached already knowing you at your recurrence there "Hi honey, what can I help you with today?"
You saw the letter and fiddled with your mouth "I'll let you surprise me today" you assured and felt the silence come over the room. As you opened your wallet, you felt the voice of the man on the other side of the bar "You're five minutes late this time, girl, I thought you weren't coming today" you laughed, looking at him but you caught yourself in the gaze of both men. The younger one, the one with the coffee in his hand, must have circled in his early thirties and had been left with his gaze fixed on you. You gave him a friendly smile, but seeing how his light blue eyes were resting on you deeply.
"Yeah, work" you shrugged taking out the ticket "I hope that doesn't make you give me an ugly coffee, huh".
"The Italian is exquisite" the man's deep voice made you look at him. "It has cinnamon, and cream" he clarified shaking his head. You thought about it and nodded to look back at the woman who had not yet placed your order.
"So it can be an Italian one?"
"Sure sweetheart" she smiled as she turned to prepare the cappuccino.
"Have you forgotten about your ex-wife already, then Andy?" you sensed the older man's jest at the bar, emphasizing the name. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him turn his head towards the man, opening his mouth slightly: "The day she stops blowing everything out of proportion with the kid, there will be peace" his voice was now gentler.
"Here honey, have a nice day" you smiled at the woman and your cheeks dimpled.
"Likewise" you shook your head waving to the three there to walk towards the door.
"What's her name?" you sensed the man's question, his voice totally relaxed, and you didn't avoid blushing but continued toward your vehicle.
By the time you parked at your house, you passed by the mailbox and sighed when you saw the letter: the one you hadn't opened but knew it said.
"Hey, you know, things aren't easy around here. I probably won't be able to come back to see Mason as I promised. Could you tell him I love him? I'll be back to see him in a few months. Thanks for letting me know you have moved. I'll come straight there as soon as I can.
I am truly sorry,
Ari."
You chuckled as you walked in and closed the door and felt the wad of bills in the envelope. He was an idiot, a real idiot. Four months ago you had written to him and only now you got a reply. He didn't even justify himself, knowing you weren't going to give a shit what he said anyway. Idiot. Idiot. It had been six months since he'd seen your son and you, and all you got was the money he sent monthly from his boss, rarely directly.
It had been about two years since you had officially broken up with him, but sometimes you think from the first moment you never went out: yes, the letters were very romantic, the sex on the way back was sweet, but things really weren't planned for you to get pregnant in the middle of your studies with 22 and the only support you had had was money. FUCKING IDIOT.
For the next two days, every time you walked into the cafeteria, he was there again. Andy. He didn't even introduce himself, but you could see his eyes on you like knives. This time, when you arrived, they served you coffee without waiting for you to ask.
"Surprise coffee, I like it" you nodded as you opened your wallet.
"No honey, it's already paid for" you saw her confused and quickly turned your gaze to the man, who made a smile and nodded.
"A mocha," he assured.
"Thank you very much, Andy" you shook your head with a slight smile, making it clear that you already knew his name. You watched as the two coffee shop owners isolated themselves from each other as if leaving an empty space. "For the recommendations and your coffee."
He nodded, and you could really see how he didn't usually do those things, but he didn't seem so self-conscious, or at least he was confident with the moves. And with what little you knew about him, you sensed it wasn't the first time he'd done it, but knowing he was divorced, you assumed it was some time ago.
"Just to be clear, it's not stalkerish of me, is it?" you raised an eyebrow and he laughed "I mean if it's not something just mine."
You nodded, positioning yourself in front of him to push aside the arriving customers. "You're not a stalker, nor is it any of your imagination."
"So I have a green pass?"
You grimaced "Just don't keep buying me coffee every day because I'm going to get used to it."
"Noted" he assured.
"I have to go, but... my pleasure" you nodded turning around with a smile, as he shook his head. And when your back was turned, you let out a breath as your cheeks turned pink.
...
You were in the living room, eating with Mason. "Mom, isn't Dad coming back?" you saw the six-year-old stop eating.
You grimaced "Your father is not in the country yet, and will be in a couple of months."
"What if he doesn't know where we are?"
"I sent him where we live now, honey. But you know how your father lives" the boy shrugged and you took his hand across the table. "Mason, in a little while your friend Jacob is coming" he widened his eyes but you clarified "however, he's coming to talk to me like other people. So, I need you to behave yourself. He's not coming to play games with you. If you want, one day we can talk to his parents to let him come."
"It's okay, Mom" by the time he finished his plate, you stood up and kissed your head before starting to gather the table, something the little guy helped with.
After that, while you were tidying up the room, you smiled as you heard the sound of records playing. You peeked out to see Mason kneeling as he placed the record on the turntable. You bit your lip as the music began to play, and inevitably you couldn't think of Ari: it was his turntable, he used them, and now, Mason seemed to have the power of them.
The doorbell rang and you looked at Mason, who looked at you quickly. You gave him a warning look and he turned the music down slightly, to the limit you had set for him every time you waited on someone. You nodded in agreement and adjusted your jacket and jeans to walk to the door.
Kiss me once. FUCK. Then, kiss me twice. SHIT.
You took a breath as you saw the three of them in front of you. "Hello, Miss Levinson" you opened your mouth slightly at Ari's last name spoken by Laurie.
You smiled, avoiding contact with Andy who seemed to fall into the same account "That's... not my last name "you clarified sympathetically and opened the door, running your hands over your jeans "Please, come in".
"Excuse me" spoke the woman.
"Hello, Mason" Jacob's voice passing in front of his mother, only made you look at Andy who opened his eyes at you. You cleared your throat closed the door and watched as Jacob hugged Mason. You approached the boy. The boy. That was the only priority you had. "Wow, what a cool thing to play music on" Jacob walked over to the record player. "This is what you told me is your dad's?"
Mason nodded "Yes, but he doesn't use it anymore."
You approached the children "Hi Jacob, how are you?" you introduced yourself and stretched out your hand, he kindly shook it. You smiled. You were professional. You just had to ignore Andy.
"I know who you are, you're Mason's mother" you nodded with a smile.
"How about joining me for a bit?" you asked holding out your hand.
"Can't I play with Mason?" asked the confused child.
"No honey, let's-"you looked up at Laurie, who was interrupted when Andy lightly bumped her elbow and shook his head at you. She rounded her eyes.
Andy. His complaint to the wife. Laurie overprotective. Divorce. S-H-I-T.
"First with me, then I'll let you play with Jacob for a bit" you assured and the boy took your hand, nodding. Andy looked at Mason, who was with his toy aware that he couldn't intervene in my work, no matter how much of a friend he was. "Please, parents, join me" you invited seeing Laurie and avoiding Andy's gaze.
"Sure" she assured, taking her purse in front of her and following you, Andy trailing behind. He closed the door when the four of them were left in the room.
"Jacob, do you mind if you sit in this chair?" the boy nodded as he did so, leaving the remoteness of his parents but in turn them sitting on the couch, keeping their distance. "Both can help themselves to tea or coffee" you offered pointing to the table in front of them, and nothing else.
In cases of children, you always evaluated the environment, the behavior of the parents, and not only the child: many times everything comes from the same root.
You walked to sit next to Jacob and looked at the clock, sitting in the chair across from Jacob, both of you at a table. You opened a notebook "Well, Jacob. I know who you are, but I don't really know much about you" you looked at the boy who was watching the whole room.
"Where is that?" he asked pointing to a painting. You turned to see the painting in the room.
"Jacob" Laurie spoke and your pencil went to the notebook. Andy asked her not to speak, you also went to the notebook. You didn't even look directly at the adults, you just went back to the child.
"That's in Ethiopia, Africa. Pretty far from here."
The boy opened his mouth, nodding "Mason told me his dad is in Africa, did you go?"
"No, I never have, would you like to go?"
"It looks like a very nice place" he nodded.
"What do you like most about that image?"
"That sea" he pointed out and you exchanged your gaze between the little boy and the image. It was usual for people to focus on it, for some reason, there was something special that you didn't end up discovering but you could always take advantage of that.
"It's a river, but it looks endless, don't you think?" he nodded "Well, that's a very important river. Maybe someday I can tell you the story" and even though he nodded again, he didn't take his eyes off the picture. Mason used to do that. When the office was empty, he would lie down on the couch and look at the picture just to remember his father.
"Your job makes you a good person, but a shitty father, Ari" you smiled slightly at the somewhat painful memory.
"So, Jacob...how are you doing in school?"
Forty minutes, and what you were sure of was that this child had no communication problem whatsoever. But you also noticed Laurie's constant intervention, no matter how much Andy asked her to be quiet. And he... he had his eyes on you every time you talked to the boy.
"What are you doing this weekend, Jacob?" you asked passing another written sheet from your notebook.
"Dad said he's taking me to eat at a place that sells lots of burgers and fries, and we're going to a park."
"Nothing too healthy, clearly" laughed Laurie looking at you, but you really didn't see her for more than two seconds without wiping your smile.
"Please, that's enough" Andy asked wearily. "Stop commenting on everything."
"I'm not doing anything, Andy."
You watched as Jacob wrinkled his nose, following through with a drawing you had asked him to do: specifically the family. "Excuse me, could you step outside for a moment?" you saw them both, totally surprised by your request.
"Sure" nodded Andy opening the door and letting Laurie go through first.
As the door closed, you looked at Jacob "I'm going to grab my cell phone for a second while you finish that drawing" you quickly opened the cameras to see as Mason sat gathering, as the two adults stood in the doorway, talking to each other, clearly you didn't expect it to be in peace. "Now, tell me, Jacob, do your parents always grumble with each other?"
The boy shook his head "Not so much now because daddy doesn't live at home anymore. It's okay that, he told me that things are going to be calmer for me and that love doesn't change, it just makes it easier. That it's divorce stuff."
"And do you know what a divorce is?"
"Dad told me it's like a puzzle, that little by little you put the pieces together" you frowned but nodded, encouraging him to talk "It's like it's your favorite puzzle, that you want weapons very badly, and that you put pieces together little by little, and that the divorce is like a piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit. It's not that the whole puzzle is wrong, it's just that the piece is from another puzzle and that we don't have to make it fit because otherwise, we might break other pieces, but just take it out of the puzzle."
You twisted your head, thinking about that "So...you'd be a piece of that puzzle?"
"Dad says I'm the most important, and that although he loves Mom, she's just not part of his puzzle, just as Mom is with Dad."
"And tell you something really crazy?" he nodded. "You have your own puzzle, and your parents are two different pieces that are very important to you."
"But they always end up fighting."
"Yeah but... some pieces are a little bit hard to get to come together. Like sometimes they swell up or they're a little bit worn. But that they are from the puzzle. And what your dad told you is valid, but that doesn't mean that they're not in your puzzle."
He nodded and moved his mouth slightly "So it's okay that they don't love each other anymore?"
"I'm not saying they don't love each other. I think they do, but they are adults and everyone has their own puzzle."
Jacob laughed and you looked at him "Like mint mousse ice cream. Iugh" he shook his head and you laughed at that.
"I never tried it."
"Don't do it" you smiled at the child.
On the other side of the door, Andy stood with one hand on his head "Laurie, stay quiet" he asked, watching the woman walk in circles. However, every now and then he would glance at the foreign child.
"What if he has something?"
"Laurie, there's a boy up ahead" spoke Any looking at the boy, who was humming a new song as he painted, lying on the floor.
"Yes, exactly, Andy" Laurie approached Andy almost in a whisper "Look at him, he's still. Our son can't do it."
Andy took a breath rubbing his eyes. "You're unbelieve" the door opened and they both turned their heads, watching Jacob happily walk out with a cookie.
"Jacob agreed to stay here for a bit with Mason while you guys went in."
And when they both sat back down, you arranged the pencils Jacob had used. You were really watching the patience of both of them: Laurie was shaking her knee and Andy was holding his hand to his face, tired of her it seemed. You also noticed how he was still in his office clothes.
You exchanged a glance with him, and all you saw was a pity. You made a slight comforting smile as he sat you down across from them.
"Well, I can tell you that Jacob is a good kid. He is healthy, has an amazing mind, and is extremely intelligent" Andy looked at you, making an obvious expression but you looked at Laurie, who was waiting for you to continue. You denied "I can't really make any diagnosis to a child from sitting in front of him for 1 hour because it wouldn't be fair. If I can tell you that he doesn't present anything that should alarm anyone."
"So he doesn't have anything? What do you call that thing that..." she snapped her fingers and you looked at her sympathetically: "Adhd" she nodded at your words and you denied "Again, I can't give you the diagnosis of life through sixty minutes, but he doesn't present any symptoms either. He's a child, they all express themselves differently."
"Ready, don't look for anything more from Jacob, please" requested Andy "He's a boy."
"However" your words caught both of them "yes you should work on home, family environments, the dealings between you" both looked at each other "Work together when it comes to Jacob, on par, and avoid friction in front of him."
"So that would be it?" you looked at Andy who was confused. It really seemed more attractive to you to see him as a father, but you had to erase that from your head.
"Well, I'm a psychologist, which implies that my diagnoses or anything that comes out of me require a process. It's never wrong to carry a therapeutic balance at any stage, but that's if you think it's necessary or you want that."
"But is it for something?" you looked at Laurie and her nervous profile only made you remember Andy's words.
"The question is not that, Laurie. The question would be whether we want her to accompany Jacob through the process of our divorce."
"But we're already divorced" this one blurted out and Andy opened his mouth, throwing himself backward on the couch and looked at you denying it, making it clear he was over it.
"Sure, but it's still a process of change towards the child."
"Could that help you at all now?" asked Laurie.
"Well, I'm not saying you need it but it can provide balance."
Laurie attacked with questions and you just wiggled your eyebrows, trying to hold it all in. Andy sat back down, resting his hands on his legs and taking a breath, interrupting her, "Laurie, Laurie, please, listen for a second" he asked and the woman looked at him "Are you more at ease bringing Jacob here? We're bringing him. There's nothing wrong with him, but stop looking for things. We'll just bring him in so the boy can express himself to her in case something happens."
"I think that would be good" nodded this one and Andy nodded, relieved to come to an agreement.
"Is that okay?"
You nodded "It's your decision. If you want we can set a weekly or bi-weekly time, whichever you prefer."
"Weekly" assured Andy "Can it be Fridays at this time?"
"Sure" you nodded, jotting in the notebook.
"And the payment?" the question from Laurie made you nod, taking one of the cards that contained the account number. Andy was the one who took it and nodded.
"Upon arrival I'll make sure the transfer arrives" you nodded, watching as they both stood up. Laurie reached out her hand and you squeezed it, then did the same for Andy. His squeeze was sincere and you just gave him a look to end the tingling in your stomach.
"Please go ahead" as you walked out into the living room, you saw Mason showing a photo album to Jacob. The children turned around.
"Mom, someday can we invite Jacob home?"
"Sure, but you'd have to organize something ahead of time and only if his parents let him."
"Of course" nodded Andy as Jacob walked over to him. The older one put his hand on the boy's head, who was laughing with Mason.
"Again, thank you very much."
"You are welcome. On the card is my contact also for anything" you watched as Mason and Jacob now hugged, as Laurie and Andy walked out the door. Laurie started walking and Andy seemed to wait for his son to come.
"Hey I-" Andy's murmur made you look at him, you closed your eyes slightly denying "Thanks. That is" you saw him waiting for Jacob.
"Jacob, come on" Laurie's shout sounded from the other side.
Andy took a breath and looked at you " I want you to know that my idea didn't change" he whispered and Jacob ran to him.
You nodded"A pleasure, Mr. Barber" you closed the door, letting out a long sigh.
SHIT.
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